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A Play On A Play On Words MAG

November 13, 2008
By Andrewsaur BRONZE, La Porte, Texas
More by this author
Andrewsaur BRONZE, La Porte, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\"Time brings all things to life, in that I trust it so.\\\\\\\" ~ Willie Stark

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When the tides change
I’ll be free
to drown among my people
in the ancient lands of nowhere
nowhere you would go
with a head upon my hat
and feet upon my shoes
it’s time to go inside
to survive
the cold of the air conditioning
in my room it’s harsh living
with the lights turned off
no one makes a sound
except the pitter patter of my soul
across the aluminum roof of my mind
like raindrops in your eye
all you are is a blurred image
thoughts once clear
are now hard to see
I have to retrieve my telescope
just to see you
still leaves me empty inside
’cause I think it’s my fault
that I have no idea
but I don’t know what to think
or where to begin
so I just sit and wait
for the tide to come in.

© Lydia E., Escondido, CA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 252 comments.

Elizabeth_Day SILVER said...
on Jan. 7 2011 at 6:11 pm
Elizabeth_Day SILVER, Battle Ground, Washington
9 articles 0 photos 34 comments
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I love the first half to death! "with a head upon my hat/ and feet upon my shoes" made me want to die of awesomeness.
MhsAnonymous SILVER said...
on Jan. 7 2011 at 4:57 pm
MhsAnonymous SILVER, Morristown, New Jersey
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You are amazing. You have great talents. When i read this i was so deep into the atmosphere and mood. Please keep writing.
Hazel-daisy GOLD said...
on Jan. 7 2011 at 12:31 pm
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
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love it!! especially the last lines ''So i just sit and wait for the tide to come in''
migwam ELITE said...
on Jan. 7 2011 at 11:19 am
migwam ELITE, Tumwater, Washington
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Wow... this was beautiful... like, I don't know. It felt familiar, like I could touch it and maybe it would sting me or something, haha. This is a really amazing poem and I genuinely hope you keep writing until you're really old and have to make someone hold a pen for you :]
gfgdfgsdf said...
on Jan. 7 2011 at 10:28 am
this is really good!
Ronaldo Zhang BRONZE said...
on Jan. 7 2011 at 9:04 am
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THIs is sooooo deep i love this mannn

 

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Hm...Honestly, this isn't my favorite poem of yours. I feel like the line breaks are perhaps a little too short and abrupt, and for some reason, I have difficulty connecting emotionally with this poem. I like the last few lines, though.
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PERFECT. i feel the same way every night
heather_marie PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 16 2010 at 1:30 pm
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wow tht was amazing i love the imagry and the choice of words!
elizabitch BRONZE said...
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veryy nicee..:)
Aysia SILVER said...
on Dec. 16 2010 at 12:32 am
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Beautiful! Very wonderful images flashing through my mind. You seem like you were sad while writing this. I love it! keep writing, ill read it.
Gracious PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 7:48 pm
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loveloveloveloveloved it
elvinchangling55 SILVER said...
on Nov. 25 2010 at 7:22 am
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Love it, you are truly talented and the imagery is killer. I love the part 'pitter pattering of my soul across the aluminum roof of my mind'. Great work!!
phlogiston ELITE said...
on Nov. 24 2010 at 10:09 pm
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Wow I loved the flow. Very good work
PoeticTouch GOLD said...
on Nov. 24 2010 at 10:44 am
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this is beautiful and moving as well...keep up the good work!:) check out some of my work when u get the chance...thanks:)
Flora SILVER said...
on Nov. 24 2010 at 3:57 am
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Wow, It's woderfully written.

This reminds me of what happened between me and my "best-friend"

Andrewsaur BRONZE said...
on Nov. 2 2010 at 6:04 pm
Andrewsaur BRONZE, La Porte, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\&quot;Time brings all things to life, in that I trust it so.\\\\\\\&quot; ~ Willie Stark

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Thank all of you so very much for all your comments and critisisms... It brightens my day everytime I hear how my work makes you feel and effects you... :)

 

<3 Andrewsaur

Andrewsaur BRONZE said...
on Nov. 2 2010 at 6:01 pm
Andrewsaur BRONZE, La Porte, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
\\\\\\\&quot;Time brings all things to life, in that I trust it so.\\\\\\\&quot; ~ Willie Stark

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It is largely about a distants that was growing between me and one of my closest friends and my thoughts and feelings about it.
KimB92 GOLD said...
on Nov. 2 2010 at 4:49 pm
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This is beautifully written and I really enjoyed it. Along with everyone else, I like the imagery but I'm not clear on what the meaning is. That isn't necesarilly a bad thing though. Poetry should have a little mystery to it. I believe this is about some sort of loss? Fill us in haha (:
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wow, this is absolutely beautiful. it leaves me speechles..