At night, I am scared.

I'm scared to tell all of the boys I have ever loved that I'm vulnerable.

I'm scared to tell them that when I said I was fearless, I need them now.

When I said I didn't need protecting, that I'm crying

That just for right now

I was wrong.

After school, I am nervous.

I'm nervous that my car won't start while I'm in the parking lot.

I'm nervous that my friends think I don't want to hang out with them.

I'm nervous that I'll forget things and break promises and

If when I picked up my backpack after class and he was there, I stuttered

And if he noticed.

But after I wake up, I am hopeful.

I'm hopeful that my hair will look better than it did yesterday.

I'm hopeful that I might get into college.

I'm hopeful I'll see him and he'll be just a guy.

I'll see my friends and I won't feel stressed.

I'll see myself and that's all I'll need to feel hopeful.