Sick

A very unfortunate thing has happened to Paige Harrison. But we’ll get to that later.
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The only thing I could hear was the insufferable noise of the seconds of my freedom tick tocking away distracting me. How had my life come to this point? Mrs.Lennings with her big glasses and her obnoxious nasal voice had absolutely ruined everything…lol

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“James Turner?” Mr. Keating my science teacher called out my name while scanning the room at a ridiculously fast pace, much too fast to actually be absorbing any information about the very students in his classroom.
“That would be me.” I said a little to sharply. My annoyance with this over the top teacher was not hidden well. At all. Mr. Keating glanced up from his painfully planned out seating chart with a hard stare.
“You’re at the wrong table,” he said in a harsher tone than what was needed. I gathered my belongings and moved over a few seats. “Paige Harrison?”
“Oh sorry.” said a clear high pitched voice from the opposite side of the room. Just like that, my heart was violently shoved into my throat. The world couldn’t be this cruel could it? To put me next to Paige Harrison of all people? But the world is cruel. Because before I knew it, I could hear her slide into the seat next to me and the loud smack of textbooks being dropped on the ground, though I refused to look. I swallowed deeply and turned to face her. I was haunted by her face. Paige Harrison. I had no direct contact with her for five years, which seemed more like ten. In fact the last time I saw her was as she was walking out of the office right after getting in huge trouble by the principal for spreading the rumor that I was stalking her and being creepy. I lost every friend that I had ever had and it took me forever to make new ones. I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge but something about Paige has always made me furious, even before she destroyed my social life.
Two weeks later, most of the awkwardness between us had faded and was replaced by a playful friendship. I still was a little angry inside about the whole bully situation but I began to see a future with Paige and I together when I looked at her, instead of only seeing the past. “James?” Paige said with a teasing laugh, pointing to the project we had been assigned. “That’s definitely not how you do that…” I willed myself to laugh, but it was an act. I was serious. It was hard to tear my eyes from her face. Her beauty was something that could not be unseen. Subtle at first but prominent. I would never have picked her out of a crowd, but now she’s all I can see all the time. The way she walks the way she talks, the way her face scrunches up when I poke fun at her. I never thought I could forgive her, but I more than forgive her. I love her. Maybe I have really loved her all along.
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“Hey Paige, it’s me James, do you want to meet up? I have something I really want to ask you.” I said. I played nervously with my pencil breaking out in a cold sweat smearing all over my phone’s screen.
“Oh, okay sure…” I could’ve sworn I heard her smiling through the phone.
“Cool, see you then.” I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. I finished combing my hair and jumped into my car I couldn't keep the smile off my face. She is going to say yes I just know it.
“I-I’m so sorry, James I- if I would’ve known. I-, this is really surprising um- I - I mean we’ve only been seated together for a few weeks.” Paige looked at me with glowing carmel eyes. Nothing could describe the amount of pain I felt in my chest, in everywhere.
“Only Paige Harrison could find a way to ruin me twice.” I spat with malice. Did this girl understand that I was the only one for her. No other guy could possibly feel the same way, no one else could possibly be right for her.
“James, there will be other dances I’m sorry I already promised Mikey I would go with him.” she looked at the ground clearly taking the words I had just said to heart as she brushed a piece of her wavy auburn hair behind her small ears, making a great effort to avoid eye contact with me. I crushed the pink rose I held in my hand and could feel several thorns stab into my palm.
“Oh my god James you're bleeding!” Paige quickly grabbed my wrist and attempted to remove the thorns with shaking hands. Whether she was shaking from fear or sadness I guess I will never know. I tore my hand from hers as violently as she had ripped out my soul.
“Not anywhere near to how much my heart is bleeding.” I stormed away from Paige ignoring the mix of hurt and terror on her face. The wet grass made a sloshing noise as my feet sunk deeper with every stomp. It was only when I stopped to take in the fields of tall grass that went on forever that my eyes began to sting from the cold night air, or maybe from tears. I wiped my eyes and mouth and could taste by own blood. That was when I heard the sound of mud squelching under small feet following close behind me. “ Paige.” I whispered to myself, she had chased after me. The sliver of an idea began to sprout into my head. I was smiling now and heard myself chuckle a little but it was different than I have ever laughed in class with Paige. Most likely because I wasn’t  laughing with her like usual. No, I was laughing at her. She had just made a terrible mistake.
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“Now James, how would you say the death of Paige affected you?” My physcatrist, Mrs. Lennings, asked.  She was the one who needed to see a professional, not me. She was old, with loose, shriveled skin and too much perfume, and don’t even get me started on her absurdly nasal voice. The kind of person you just know is hiding something. She breathed heavily through her mouth and looked at me pointedly, saying nothing while simultaneously pushing her large glasses up her mile long nose. We were both okay with silence. 
“She loved me and I loved her, so quite a bit.” I smiled to myself. I wonder what Paige would say if she knew I was telling people we were in love. I think she wouldn’t mind. I’ve always known deep down that she loved me. Now that she’s gone, I might as well tell people the truth. I knew more about Paige than most of her family members did. If that's not love then I don’t know what is.
“Interesting…” Mrs. Lennings trailed off. Glancing at me briefly with concern, then quickly returning to furiously scribbling down some bogus analysis of my mental health. I felt the scorching heat of my anger begin to rise up in my throat at the memory of her giving me that same look just a month ago. “James is… sick.” Mrs. Lennings had said to my parents. That's why I had to continue to come to here and see her evil face. She ruined my life. I’m on full lockdown. I’m only allowed to go to school and the library, other than that my parents are constantly shutting me down every time I tried to go out of the house, they even hired a nanny. Who, by the way, they refuse to tell why her sole purpose is to not let me out of the house.
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I washed the dark red stain off my hands. Watching it turn the water a deep red. Until it didn’t. The water was clean again. But my soul wasn’t. I thought getting rid of the one thing that had caused me pain would fix me. Now I just feel numb. I feel nothing, no love, no regret, no remorse. The only thing I feel is cold. I look longingly at the scabs on my hand from where her small fingers used to be.
“Are you still at the library sweetie?”
“Yes, be home in an hour:)” I finished typing my alibi .
I proceeded to grab a pink rose from the vase next to my sink and place it in the delicate hand that lay next to me. I gently wrapped my fingers around hers and squeezed until the thorns were embedded into her petite hands. I looked into her unphased , unblinking beautiful brown eyes and began to pluck the thorns from her hand. “Just returning the favor.” I cooed out loud as if she could still hear me.
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I sat in Mrs. Lennings waiting room staring at the carpet floor with a burning intensity, and of course thinking about Paige. Wondering what she would say to me right now if she were here.
“Hello James.” Her voice was hoarse and weak. I’m assuming because of endless nights screaming in agony over the immense pain over losing a child. What a shame. My eyes snapped up from the ground to the shriveled middle aged woman standing in front of me, Mrs. Harrison. She clearly hadn’t eaten in the past week after Paige was found, it's a miracle that she could even move,let alone be standing in front of me. She was wearing a black sweatshirt that complementained the dark circles under her eyes. Her mouth was turned down in a permanent frown . But the most shocking feature on this woman was her dark brown eyes that held absolutely no life in them, very similar to Paige’s.
“Hello Mrs. Harrison, ” I said with a soft smile. “ I was just thinking that I should stop by to check on you.”
“Well that’s very kind of you James, Paige got a real keeper didn’t she.” She smiled sadly as a tear ran down her face.
“I’m so sorry about what happened. I hope they find whoever did this, my condolences.”