There are moments where I wish I found love, I have open arms for love, but it never came. I don't think it ever will. But even so, just having a friend is enough. Even when your heart aches and your tears fall, love doesn't come. So I've chosen to come to terms with it.  It's easier when your best friend feels the same. We are both so desperate, it's pathetic. 

" So, what is your ideal type Juwayria?" Asked Jia,

" Don't know, I've never thought about it."

" I know, the perfect guy for you. Meet Mr.Potato, created by me and given to you!" 

" What?"

I start laughing so hard tears begin to form in my eyes. 

" My..my.. tum..tummy hurts" I let out 

As I'm laughing, Juwayria looks at me like I'm a psychopath, a look of disgust. 

" When you've grown up, and get better taste, come talk to me." She says,  

She gets up and walks away as I'm left laughing at her face.

I want to laugh, but I won't. I mustn't encourage her with her childish ways.  As I walk away to my house I chuckle at the thought of my dark skinned, curly black haired, best friend making Mr.Potato.  I think about all the time when she brought up Mr.Potato. I just can't believe that my friend is so dumb, its funny. 

" Mom, I'm home!" I say

" Welcome back! How was your time with Jia?"

" It was fun!"

" That's good," She says with a smile. 

" What were you doing?"

" You know, the usual, came back from work and cleaned the house, scolded your father for being childish,"

" Sounds quite eventful!" 

" Sure, sure!" She laughs. 

I walk up to my room and text Jia about schedual are next meet up. I lay in my bed, quietly wishing for something to happen and I slowly began to close my eyes.

I wake up, and realize a few things.

1. I'm not in my bed anymore

2. I'm not in my room 

3. I'm not in my house 

4. I'm not in my neighborhood

5. I don't even think I’m on Earth anymore

6. I’m screaming 

7. Juwayria is right next to me screaming as well. 

The fact remains that there are two people screaming. And then we just stop. We look at each other and then it goes black.

I woke up for the second time and this time I am much more calm. There is a moment of awkward silence.

" You think we're dead?" Jia asks.

" Definitely dead," 

" So we died on the same day, how ironic?"

" I know right. You know, Jia, the other day I was thinking about the afterlife and here we are."

" So you died, and brought me down with you?"

" I don't know, how would a 20 year old understand the laws of life?" 

" So what do we do now?"

" Let's walk around and figure out where we are first, and then go from there."

I get up from the green grass and walk around, Jia following closely behind. I take in the lush green around me.  The beautiful blue trees with golden leaves. The sweet scent of roses in the air makes me follow the scent. Jia and I walk around taking in the beautiful scenery around us. 

" Wow!" Are you seeing this! It's so pretty!" Jia says.

We have been walking aimlessly around this garden forever! The sun hasn't even moved an inch, so I can't even make an estimate of how much time has passed. The heat was burning my back, and I was sweating so much. Thankfully, we came across a river that was so clear I didn't have to worry about the dirt. I ran, as fast as my legs could take me, and jumped into the water.  The water was so freezing I yelped as I tried to get out.

" COLD…COLD…..COLD!" I yell.

As I get out of the water shivering, I see Juwayria laughing her butt off.

" Hey….I'm….don't….laugh" I say with my teeth chattering.

Juwayria is laughing so hard she is rolling on the floor crying. I stand there giving her the death glare. 

The simple fact that Jia ran into the cold water, and then came out all wet, she reminded me of a wet cat. They look so funny, and Jia looked exactly like that. I was laughing so hard my stomach was hurting so much that I fell to the floor and tears started to form as I was laughing like a hyena.  It was so funny, now I couldn't get the thought of a hairless cat with Jia's face. I was laughing so hard I felt like throwing up. Actually I might throw up.  I crawled over to the nearest tree and hurled up yesterday's dinner.  After I had calmed down, I rinsed my mouth with water for about fifteen minutes trying to get the fowl taste out of my mouth. After a few hours, we decided to look for food. We found some suspicious looking fruit, but, since we believed we had already died, we didn't think twice about eating it. The fruit was purple, smooth, and juicy. It was blue on the inside. The taste was so sweet, a mixture of all the berries I had ever eaten. I was getting tired and the sun still had not moved an inch. We found some shade under the tree and went to sleep. 

When I woke up, I realized a few things:

1. I'm in my bed 

2. I'm in my room 

3. I'm in my house 

4. I'm  in my neighborhood

5. I'm back on Earth 

6. I'm confused

7. And Juwayria is not here 

As the friend I am, I decided to call her to tell her about this crazy dream. But something unexpected happens, it says her number no longer exists, and so does mine.

I have tried to call Jia, but it says it's unavailable. But when I walk down stairs to tell my mom, she throws a pan at me. 

" MOOMM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" I yell

" Get the heck out of MY HOUSE."

" What do you mean? I live here, I'm your daughter!"

" I don't have one, nice try. I'll call the police!" 

And so, I am kicked out of my own house. I see Jia in the distance, and hesitantly walk toward her afraid she might also throw something at me. 

" Hi… um, I'm Juwayria" I say

"I know, listen, you might think I'm crazy, but I swear to god that my dad forgot me," She states

" I know, my mom threw a pan at my head!" I whisper as tears form.

" My dad even called the police so I dipped," she says with a sad smile.

" So what now?"

It's been a few years since that first "incident". I have gone insane. I just don't care anymore. Ever since that day, Juwayria and I basically re-started our lives, but that's not all, we kept waking up in different worlds. Every time we came back to the "real" world, everyone would forget us again and we would have to start all over.

Our names were erased from our previous schools, we couldn't even get a job for a few months. It's like we were wiped off the face of the Earth. We kept moving from one world to the next so frequently now, it happens once a week. We have just slightly given up, my red eyes, pale face, black bags say it all. I don't want this life anymore. And to think that before this we would talk about 2-D characters and not have a care in the world. Having a love-life is the least of our problems. 

The first step to trying to solve this problem was to try and make everyone remember us. To be honest, we weren't sure how to stop ourselves from going to different worlds. We tried going to sleep, staying awake, going to different places, and staying separated. But none of those worked. We did not however go to the extent of taking our own lives because that would be taking it too far. We decided to work on the place that stayed consistent, our world. And it was perfect, we just came back from a world, so it's time to get out of this loop.

"Hey, I would like to know if I have ever met you?" I asked the cashier at the local cafe. 

"  Have we met before, I really don't think so. Sorry," He replied,

" Okay…sorry…you just… looked like someone I knew" I say with a smile.

I take a last look at the cashier before I walk out of the cafe. 

I walked up to my door, and knocked three times, which was a signal that I was here.

As the door opened, I saw my dad, with a little girl.

" What do you want," He said with annoyance

"Umm, I just wanted to know if you know anyone named Jia, Jia Lims?" 

" ….No, I don't,"

" Oh I see, well thank you,"

I walk away with tears falling down.

I was dreading this. I didn't want to be forgotten. I didn't want to see my mothers confused face when I asked her if she knew me. I take a deep breath, and ring the doorbell. Everything gets a little hazy as I recall our last encounter. The door opens and I see my mom open the door, and a brown dog. 

" Good evening, I'm Juwayria.. We actually met a few times. I was wondering if you remembered me?" I ask nervously as tears form.

" Um I'm sorry. My Goodness! Dear, you're crying, why don't you come in?"

" Oh….alright,"

I walk inside, and take a look at all the photos on top of the fireplace, they were in the same place, with the same setting. Same pose, but with a dog. Instead of me. My tears that I was holding back, immediately started to spill. 

" Are you alright?" My mom asks worriedly.

" I just….want my mom back, is it too much to ask for?"

" I'm so sorry for your loss, if you would like, I can help put up missing posters for her,"

" Its okay, it's just that she wouldn't remember me,"

" Ah.. It will be okay, I'm sure your mother will remember you!"

I wish. I really do.

My eyes were puffy and red from crying. I just met up with Juwayria. It seems like there was no luck. We always have an infinite number of times to try. 

" It's bound to work once, it has to," Juwayria says as she wipes the tears.

" It needs to,".

Knock, knock, knock. Four times a month. There is always the same answer.

The cashier said, " I'm sorry, I don't think I know you."

The father said, " No, I don't think so."

The mother said," Sorry, dear. I don't remember."

I woke up. I walk to my bathroom. I see my bags and red eyes. I get ready. I go to the coffee shop down the street. I work. I come back to my crummy apartment. I sit on my old bed. I look at my calendar. I realize that when I wake up tomorrow I will be in another world and another scar. And with that I go to sleep wishing for death. 

I'm not sure how much longer I can live with this. The thought that all my hardwork, friends, family leaving me brings me to tears. My eyes burn as my vision blurries. My head is starting to hurt from the lack of sleep. The fatigue is starting to set in from hunger. My tears can't stop falling. My heart burns, I suppose it was inevitable. Maybe I deserve this, but I can't remember having done anything that would cause my misery.

I wake up in a beautiful world. It's pretty disgusting.  Maybe my life should end to stop the loop. I don't tell her, but if I die, she may live.

All I do is look at the sky, we don't say anything because there is nothing to say. And that's when I think about taking my own life for her.

In two different places, we stand at the edge of a building. Perhaps this whole situation was inevitable. There is no hope, just tears of sadness, the sound of broken friends, two people who are tired, and trying to save the other. And with a silent prayer to god that the other will be free, we take a step off.