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Not Your Average Fairy Tale
Sighing wistfully as she leaned out her tower window, Broomhilda, the wicked witch, couldn't understand why she was feeling so very melancholy today. Maybe it was because the sun was out-she hated sun. Nothing bad ever happened when it was sunny. Absent-mindedly, she looked around, at her castle. It was beautiful, in a gothic way. Dark stones were used to build it, and over the centuries, black vines had grown, wrapping themselves around everything. In the Spring, white flowers would bloom from them, causing a contrast that was just like it's owner's personality.
Broomhilda was evil-there was no mistaking it, but she was still a female, and she still longed for love. Strolling into the courtyard, she noticed a statue of two lovers, entertwined in eachother's arms, just before she turned them to stone. In a rush of accomplishment, she smiled slightly and walked over to it. Centuries of it sitting there had made it just as vine-covered as the rest of her castle, and the features of the statues were worn out from braving the weather, but the stones still stood, as timeless as the emotion that it showed. Wrapping her arms around it, she wept bitterly for all that she had lost. Again, as they had countless times before, the words "If only" filled her mind.
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Not too far away, in the same place, at that same time, Henry sat, wishing for the same thing as Broomhilda. Henry was an Evil Sorcerer, and, like Broomhilda, he had worked long and hard towards destroying the royal family's love affairs. Nobody was quite sure how they had gotten to be that evil, and nobody was quite sure they wanted to find out. Henry lived in a cabin located in the Dark Forest. Nobody who wanted to live ever entered the Dark Forest alone, so he never expected company, and he didn't like it, either.
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Just as she was starting to calm down, she heard a pounding on her front gate. "Now, who could that be?!?!" she thought to herself. She never had any company that wasn't prisoners-at least not nowadays. Self consciously, she wiped at her tears, in an effort to conceal them-if anyone ever saw her crying , that would ruin her reputation for good.
She strolled over and opened the gate, not without much effort on her part, to find an incredibly handsome prince standing on the other side. Ugh. She was just not in the mood to ruin anybody's life right now. She went to turn around, but the prince grabbed her hand.
"Fair Maiden. Please. Help me. I am weary and in desperate need of food and shelter. I've been traveling for days. A dragon a little while back has just killed all of my men. I'm begging you. Help me." he dropped onto one knee and stared into her eyes pleadingly. She had only ever seen eyes that blue once before. Once...she shook that thought away.
"What did you do with this fire-breathing, knight-slaughtering drangon?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow. It was her pet. Given to her by her brother after a different prince killed her last one. It was a very long time ago...
"How did you know it breathed fire?" his brow furrowed in confusion.
"I didn't." she smiled placatingly." I was simply guessing."
"Oh. Well. I hath slain the dragon." he smiled proudly and puffed out his chest a little. She couldn't help but smile back, he was so adorable, and he reminded her of another prince... "So...can I stay here for the night?" he asked again and gave her a hopeful smile.
"Come on. I'll feed you, then show you to your room." she said, leading him in and closing the gate.
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Meanwhile, Henry, the evil sorcerer, sat in his cabin, sipping coffee and daydreaming, though he'd never admit it for the world. Out of nowhere, he heard a cry for help. Normally, he wouldn't respond, but this time, it was a female. Jumping up, he raced for the door and looked out to find the woman of his dreams. Her big blue eyes were filled with tears, her body, or what he could see of it, was covered in scratches, and her impossibly long, golden hair was caught in one of the many hideous trees, which seemed to be the cause of her distress. He sincerely hoped that she hadn't found her prince yet, because, even in her state of distress, he was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
"Sir, will you...please...please help...me? My hair...it's stuck." she burst into hysterical sobs, causing his heart to break slightly. He raced to her aid, and in no time at all, had her hair perfectly untangled. "Oh, thank you!!!" She jumped up and hugged him enthusiastically. "You've saved my life!!! How will I ever repay you?!?!"
After recovering from the shock of her hugging him, he smiled , feeling very heroic indeed. "No need, my dear. It was my honor."
At these words she hugged him even tighter. "Thank you so much! But I best be going now." she pulled away reluctantly.
The woman of his dreams was just going to walk in and then leave without a trace? Not if he had any say in the matter. He'd already blown it once, and he wasn't planning on doing it again. "You wouldn't want to travel here at night. It gets very dangerous, and these parts are notorious for wolves." he let the last part hang slightly and looked over at her. Her already large eyes and grown to be the size of golf balls and she was obviously terrifired beyond belief.
"Oh NO!! What ever will I do?! I'm going to DIE!!!" she burst into sobs.
"Oh my dear. No such thing will happen." he laid a hand on her waist comfortingly. "I have a spare room in my cabin-you shall stay there." he smiled and started leading her to his cabin.
"But. I couldn't. You've already done so much for me." she looked down sadly.
"I insist. I couldn't just let a damsel like yourself wander into these forests alone at night."
"OH THANK YOU!!!" she hugged him passionately and then pulled away quickly, embarassed.
"It's my honor, my dear." he smiled pleasantly and lead her into his cabin.
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Over dinner, all the prince (who introduced himself as Charming) did was chatter endlessly. Broomhilda found herself falling madly in love with him-after all, he was her dream prince. Mostly all he talked about was his family, but he also talked some of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty named Rapunzel, causing Broomhilda to be incredibly jealous.
That night, as she lay in her bed, she recalled a memory of a different prince, who was the one in her castle right now, except this prince was 600 years ago:
"I love you, Evelyn." Derek's deep blue eyes stared into hers. He stroked her cheek gently. She sighed. "What? You don't love me?" he look hurt and confused.
"You know I love you Derek." she kissed him to prove it "But you also know I have a husband." the last word was merely a whisper as she looked down, overwhelmed with sadness.
He sighed and ran his hands through his thick, black hair. "That's what you said last night," he raised and eyebrow "it's what you've been saying every night, in fact. I don't see your point."
"My point is that we shouldn't keep on...going with this...this...affair! Someday, Sir Robert will come back, and, when he does, there will be trouble." she looked down, hiding her eyes as they filled with tears. It just wasn't fair!
"Oh, my love, don't cry! At least we have eachother." he stroked her cheek gently, tenderly, and smiled at her. "It will all work out fine, my love. I promise."
Derek was 24-three years older than her. She had just turned 21. She'd been married to Sir Robert, who was 30, since she was 18. It was an arranged marriage, and she had never loved him. Besides, he was always away, fighting some battle or other. Derek was a prince. A very charming prince with big, perfect, blue eyes, black hair, broad shoulders...everything. He was perfect. And he loved her! If only...but no. It couldn't happen.
"My love? Evelyn? Hello?"
"Yes? What?" she shook her head and stared at him, confused.
"You were in another land a few seconds ago, I swear." he smiled tenderly and kissed her. "I have to go now. Meet me here tomorrow afternoon, alright?" She nodded obediently, and he leaned down to kiss her one more time before he jumped onto his black steed and galloped away. She stared in that direction long after he was gone.
"Evelyn? EVELYN! Come on! You need to wake up. Your husband's back, the wretch." her brother said, shaking her roughly.
"Wha? Where am I? What happened?" she rubbed her eyes sleepily.
"You must've been with the Prince and fallen asleep in the fields. But 'Sir Robert' is back now, so you must come if you don't want him to find out about you and Derek." her brother looked concerned. He hated Sir Robert with a passion.
"Thank you so much, Charles." she climbed onto his horse with him, and they raced back into town.
When they got into her house, they found her husband pacing restlessly. As soon as he saw her, he stalked over to her, took her face in his hands, and kissed her roughly. "Where have you been, wife? I've been waiting for you." he disdainfully pulled pieces of straw out of her hair.
"I was with one of my horses in the field, but I must've fallen asleep..." she looked down guiltily.
"Typical, Evelyn. Always the absent-minded little girl." he shook his head dissapprovingly. Charles' jaw clenched as Sir Robert insulted her. "You may go now, Charles." Robert smiled. "I'd like some time alone with my wife, if you don't mind." Charles stared at his baby sister in the hands of this monster for one more minute, then he stalked out angrily, slamming the door behind him.
The next afternoon, Evelyn raced to the field to find Derek pacing impatiently. "Derek!" she yelled, still 20 feet away from him.
He ran over and kissed her passionately. "My love! Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you!" Her eyes filled with tears as she looked down. Grabbing her face, he searched her eyes intently. "What? What is it, my love, my Evelyn? What?"
"Sir Robert is back." she burst into sobs. "He's back."
"Oh. My love, " he kissed her "It will be just fine. I promise." she sobbed quietly as he comforted her. "I hate to be telling you this right now, but, I have to go-my parents have summoned me back to the palace. But I'll be thinking of you the whole time." he kissed her tenderly.
"Wait. Please. Stay the night?" she pleaded.
He looked down at her for a second. "What about your husband?" he spat out the last word, and she could tell he was insufferably jealous.
"He doesn't matter." she looked at him calmly. "I'm going to do something about it."
"What are you going to do?" he looked concerned.
"Don't worry." she kissed him. "Just. Don't leave tonight. Please."
Meanwhile, Charles was as far away as possible-in the tropics of Fairy Tale Land, where the sun was always shining and the people were way nicer. He was falling in love with a beautiful blonde girl. She was young-only 18, but she was much more mature than most girls were at her age. She had long blonde hair and big blue eyes-she was everything he'd ever wanted. The only problem was, she was a princess. "I love you." she whispered, and then she giggled. He was obviously her first love.
"I love you, too, Elizabeth. I really do." he kissed her gently.
"I'm really going to miss you while you're gone." she stated, already dreading his trip.
"It will only be temporary, my dear. I just need to bring more of my belongings over. And I need to help my sister. Her husband just died, and the man she's in love with is betrothed to a princess named...Elizabeth? ELIZABETH! Is that you?!?! Are you betrothed?" he looked at her in horror and worry.
"Well...yes. I was trying to find a way to tell you. I'm sorry. I guess I'd better be going now." she calmly walked off, tears falling down her face. Charles was crying, too, but a princess had her duties.
"CHARLES!!!" Evelyn screamed and ran toward her brother. Her whole world was just falling apart, and, Charles didn't look much better.
"EVELYN!!!" he raced over, picked her up, and swung her around like a ragdoll before setting her on the ground again. "I'm sooo sorry to hear about Derek. He's betrothed to Elizabeth, you know."
Her eyes widened. "Oh, Charles, I'm so sorry. So sorry. But, I need to show you something."
They found themselves far, far away from any civilization in a large, dark castle. "What is this, Evelyn?" Charles was awfully confused.
"This is my kingdom." she said, her voice going deep with the evil that she had held in for so long. "Did you know, Charles, that we are descendants of Jemima, the greatest witch of all times? Do you know what we can do with this power? We can get our revenge!" she pleaded with her older brother, trying to make him understand.
"But, how are you sure it even works?" he asked, concerned for his sister's sanity.
"I've tried it. On Robert." her smile turned darker, even as he looked at her.
"You mean, he didn't die of natural causes?" his eyes widened. He was very interested. She shook her head slowly, intoxicated with her newfound power. "What do I have to do?" he asked eagerly.
Her smile widened, then turned interestingly sweet, yet somehow still evil, as she looked at her older brother. "It's very simple."
"I have the perfect place to show you!" Derek said enthusiastically to Elizabeth, his newfound love. He felt somewhat bad about Evelyn, but that was okay.
"Oh, really? What is it? Show me!" she squealed in excitement, happy to be distracted from thoughts of Charles.
"It's a day's ride away, if that's okay..."
"Let's go!"
"They're going to come soon." Evelyn stated, looking into her magical crystal ball.
"Wonderful!!!" Charles smiled, feeling invinsible.
"Five. Four. Three. Two. One." the gates opened. Evelyn and Charles snuck out to a place where they could see, yet not be seen. Evelyn stared at the girl that had taken her place. They were similar-not opposites. The girl had long, straight, golden hair-she had medium, wavy brown hair. The girl was tall with blue eyes-she hand never been tall, and her eyes were green. The girl had more curves than was properly fair-she had never been like that. She looked down, feeling self-conscious, until her brother smiled and took her hand.
"You have a more beautiful soul than she could ever have." Charles was going through the same thing with Derek-he never thought he'd feel competition with Derek because, well, Derek was with his sister before, but now Derek was with Elizabeth, that bastard. Charles looked very similar to his sister, except he was much taller than both Derek and Elizabeth, and certainly Evelyn. And he had never had a problem with being skinny, unlike Evelyn.
Evelyn looked up at him "Are you ready?" She looked impatient and hurt beyond belief. Elizabeth and Derek were embracing passionately and kissing. He nodded. They both stepped out and turned Elizabeth and Derek into stone.
They got such a high from power that they became official villians and changed their names to Broomhilda and Henry.
Broomhilda awoke with a start. She was resolved. She had already lost her chance at love once, she wasn't going to lose it again. She pulled out her crystal globe and located this Rapunzel that Prince Charming was talking about, then she made it so nobody could ever reach her again-she made her room so high, she could never come down.
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Henry woke up to find Rapunzel's room unreachable. He'd never have his love!!!! How could this happen? Why couldn't he have love? He only knew one person who could do that besides him-Broomhilda. Why would his own sister do something like that to him? They had always worked together on everything. They were a team. He was going to go get her and tell her to set Rapunzel free.
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"BROOMHILDA!!!! GET DOWN HERE THIS VERY INSTANT!!!.....BROOMHILDA?!?!?! DON'T MAKE ME COME GET YOU!!!" Charles/Henry was positively furious at Broomhila.
"What do you want, Charles?" she questioned from behind him, sounding bored.
"You were the one who put that spell on Rapunzel's room!" he shouted.
"Yeah. And?" she sighed. Brothers were just so stupid somtimes. She rolled her eyes.
"How could you, when you know I'm in love with her?" he felt betrayed.
"You're in love with her?! She-my. My one true love was going to marry her! How could i do anything else?" one tear fell down.
"What? Your love is betrothed to my love? Again?!?! Oh, Evelyn!" he hugged her tight.
Just then Charming walked in. "I heard you two talking-well, yelling, really-but-oh, look a butterfly! Are the flowers always this lovely? Oh, look, Evelyn-right? This flower would look lovely in your hair! No! Wait! I overheard you two-it would be impossible not to, by the way-but I overheard you two saying you've locked up Rapunzel? Why would you? I feel utterly betrayed!"
Evelyn and Charles looked at eachother, then at Charming. "We'll take you to her." thwy said in unison.
The Siblings of Sorcery(which is what they were commonly referred to as) watched tearfully as the two lovers united. They would never get their happy ending, after all. But then, something unusual happened. "I...I don't...I don't love you anymore, Charming. I'm sorry" Rapunzel confessed, looking guilty.
"Nor I you." Charming smiled.
"I love another." they said in unison. "But who-" they both laughed and stopped. They both looked towards the Siblings of Sorcery and smiled at eachother.
"Well. Best of luck." Rapunzel said. "You, too." Charming smiled and flexed.
Rapunzel ran over to Charles and kissed him. "I love you!" she yelled passionately. "I love you, too, Rapunzel!" he smiled. He finally had his happy ending. Looking over, he found an equally moving scene talking place for Evelyn and Charming.
P.S.
They had a double wedding the next day, and the Siblings of Sorcery retired(finally) after 600 years of causing mayhem and wreaking havoc throughout Fairy Tale Land. But don't worry-upon retirement, they held auditions for the new bad guys and a pair of siblings much like themselves were found adequate-fairly tales have continued in the same pattern ever since.
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