“Good morning Jordan” Anna chuckles as she throws her arms around his waist. “Hello love, sleep good?” like a baby Anna says as she tosses her hair out of her face. She soon finds a seat in the barn that won’t get her pretty dress dirty. The hay stack.
“You know, you shouldn’t be here with me in the day.” Jordan sighs. “Would if you get caught?” “Trust me”. Anna says. “I will just say I am giving him orders.” Jordan turns back to his work, raking up the pigs poop, and feeding them disgusting ingredients. Anna stands up to leave without saying good-bye. She only tightens her lip muscles to make it look like she is blowing him kisses.


When Anna returns to her home on Teleport drive she hears her parent arguing. She leans in closer to hear better, but they are too far into the room to be heard clearly. So she gives up and goes into her room. Anna finds her self daydreaming about Jordan often. He was calling her name excessively, she screams “what Jordan”? When she snaps back into reality her mom is staring at her confused with one eyebrow arched upward. “Who is Jordan”? “What”? Anna says trying to avoid lying to her mom. Her mom breathes deeply and grabs her by her arm. “Its time for church.” Mom was overly obsessed with church. If she was a minute late she would throw a fit as soon as we got home. One time mom was five minutes late to church because she couldn’t find her clip on flower.

By the time we reached church I already sweated out my curls. It’s so hot in the land of Aura. If you ever plan to visit pack: shorts, skirts and T-shirts and lots of sunscreen. Maybe even a pair of sunglasses.


Dear Journal:


Tonight I am sneaking out to go see Jordan. He says he has a surprise for me. I am totally nervous. I hope nothing goes wrong. Maybe we will sneak a kiss. How romantic is that? Kissing under the moonlight while the stars twinkle in the night. It’s just making my nose itch. Sorry for the short journal entry tonight. I am such in a hurry to get dress. Although I have to put my pajamas over my clothes. Such a waste of time.


As Anna finishes throwing on the last garment her mother comes in to tuck her into bed.” Are you wearing make-up honey?” Anna felt her hands starting to sweat under the covers. “Ummm… no?” Anna hid her face under the covers so her mom couldn’t see her face anymore. “Oaky”. Anna took the covers off her face and stared at her mom like she was crazy. The one think I like about my mom Anna says in her head. She is gullible. As soon As Anna’s mom left the room and turned out the lights she quickly took off the pajamas and fleeted to the window. She opened it quickly and quietly hoping it wouldn’t squeak.


As soon as she reached the lake where they were meeting at for their date, she spotted Jordan from a distance. She picked up her pace. She fixed her hair and blew her breath into her hand to check. “Here I come lover boy”. Anna says as she is practically running by this point.

When she finally reaches the spot where Jordan is sitting he is sitting peacefully. His eyes seemed to glow as the moonlight bounced off his eyes. He smelled like roses and his hair was shaved to perfection. “You look beautiful”. “Thanks so do you. “ Jordan chuckled at my response. I immediately felt embarrassed for telling him he was beautiful to. I hid my face away with my hands. Jordan approached me which felt like in seconds. I wouldn’t of known he was in front of me if isn’t wasn’t from the rose he was wearing in his pocket. “Achoo”. I sneeze out. “Are you allergic to roses, or me? Jordan asks curiously. I bump his arm with mine and sat down. He chuckles as his breathe run downs my spine.


The night must have gone by quickly because when I woke up I was in the arms of Jordan’s. Flies were surrounding us by the left over food that lay on our blanket. I rushed up from the blanket trying to shake Jordan awake. By know I am in tears, and my armpits are sweating with fear. “Wake up Jordan.” He soon comes back conscious. “Oh Shi...” don’t curse Jordan. I say. “Do you think anyone seen us?” I say as I search the field hoping nobody is around. We dump the blanket and food in the nearest bush and depart from the lake without a good-bye.


By the time I am home the police are there. I take a deep breath and approach the door. Before I can grab the handle to open the door, it suddenly is opened with a great amount of force. “Danget Anna, Where the heck where you? My father says as he throws me in the house. I knew I had to tell the truth, no lie would ever make sense in this situation. “I was down by the lake.” I say taking a deep breath, readying myself for the curse words that were going to be thrown at me. There goes the family I will ever have with Jordan, Good-bye Jordan Anna repeatedly says in her mind. Bracing her for the next words. “What in the heck, were you doing by the lake at that time of the night? “ I – I was actually ummm” I can see my fathers chin curling up. That’s what he always does when he’s mad. I was meeting a” before I can finish my mother came in yelling. That was the happiest time I had ever seen my mom. “Oh honey,” my mom was also sweating.

Her eyes were candy apple red, and you could see the dried up tears. Her breath reeked and her
hair hadn’t even been touched. My mom quickly took me into her arms and carried me out of the room, without saying anything to my father. I was terrified and I had to pee at the same time. (That’s a bad combination). By the time the police left, and the house soon calmed down I took out my journal and began writing.


Dear Journal:


Today was the worst day ever. Plus it was scary. I almost had to reveal my secret. Mom and dad had called the Aura cops on me, which was not necessary. I am not sure if I can continue the relationship with Jordan. It’s just too risky. I love him very much. But I can’t risk both of our lives. Is the love that is secretive and you would cover it up so nobody would know the best kind? I don’t know anymore. I wish sometimes that Jordan was white so my parents would approve of him. Then we could love openly.


Maybe I should end it tomorrow. No! That would break his heart. And mines as well. I can’t take this anymore!!!! I hate Aura for being a racist land, and I hate my parents for being so STUPID towards blacks. I have to think more in the morning. But for know. Good Night

Have you ever been hurt so bad you’d kill? I haven’t seen Jordan for 3 days since the lake incident. I wear my hair over my face and stay in bed all day. I weep half the day, and then I sleep the other half. Mom and dad are worried about me. But why should I care? Mom has become sick with cancer from stress. Dad is always drinking and staying out late. I am going crazy, and I can’t control myself. What can I do? I haven’t written in my journal in 3 days.


I tried to find Jordan but when I went to his little house made of sticks and branches it was empty. Completely. My heart stopped. That’s when I became this. A dull white girl that wore black clothes all the time. Nobody ever told me having a broken heart would be like burning in hell. Painful, heart crushing, anger. I don’t know what to do. “When I went downstairs to the kitchen mom was standing their weeping in her arms. I didn’t feel like communicating with anyone, but she needed someone to talk to. So I did . “what’s wrong?” I say. My throat is dry and it burns from the tears I swallowed back. “Your father is leaving us”. Suddenly all the pressure and the sadness I tried to get rid of came back crashing down on me 10 times harder.


“Why?” I say trying to hold back tears but not very successful. When I opened my eyes again I was on the floor weeping. My knees soaked from the tears. And my eyes were burning from being rubbed too much. “He can’t deal with the pressure.” Before I can think about what I was saying I was screaming out loud. “He isn’t the only one who is going through hell. You have cancer and I…” Anna sucked the words back up. “Never mind” The worst part is, when he leaves, he is taking all the money.”


“He can’t do that!” I blurted out. My mom sucked the tears back and ran to where I was and embraced me. “He can, this is his house.” I wanted to kill something, rather somebody. But I wouldn’t help my mom by thinking suicidal. I ran into my room and began throwing my books around the floor. I threw pillows and broke my mirror. I suddenly found myself on the floor again, crying even harder than I ever had. How could someone ever hurt somebody so bad? I was sure that I was going crazy. First Jordan leaves out of nowhere without contact. And my father is leaving us because of too much pressure. What kind of shi…” I stop myself before I can finish.

I force myself onto the bedroom floor. It smelled like lemons. The rug comforted my head as I lay there crying, lay there suffering. Nobody would come to comfort me. I would lay here and die. That’s the only thing I wanted the most right know. To die. When I got enough strength I stumped my way over to my dresser. Reached in and pulled out my journal that had hearts all over it. It read” Anna Lou Anna Tuckers Private Journal, DO NOT OPEN!!! I opened to a clean sheet of paper and sharpened my pencil. I sat the lead firmly on the paper and began writing slowly.


Dear Journal:


This is the last time ill write in here again. Whoever finds this journal surely will turn it in. I will already be gone. This Is Anna. I am sorry for the people I hurt. But it seemed they didn’t care about my feeling at all. I am sorry Jordan if you ever read this. I did love you, but I guess you didn’t love me enough. You couldn’t even say good- bye. I really wanted to kiss you. I feel stupid writing this. But its from my heart. I haven’t much to say, all that is I am sorry. And I will never return.the only evidence of me will be a journal I began writing in August-7- 1920 and ended in May- 10- 1926.

Sincerely, Anna Lou Ann Tucker

Anna sat out that night and looked under the stars. She remembered when she and Jordan lay under the stars holding each other close. Protecting each other from the world. She laid her head against the wall. And threw her legs over the side of the window. She felt the breeze run through her hair. The smell of mangos and cabbage. She remembered when she was a little girl. Her grandma brushed her hair and sang her a lullaby. She told her she would always be there to protect her. And always keep an eye on her. “You failed me grandma.” Anna cries out to the sky. It stares back at her peacefully. She hears Jordan calling her name repeatedly. Only she is not day dreaming. He was standing at the bottom of the tree. He looked sad, he looked hurt. “What are you doing here?” Jordan was already at the top of the tree facing in front of her. “I came back for you. Know we can live together.” Anna looked at him like he was stupid. “You left, and you didn’t even say good-bye. And know you’re in my face telling me to run away with you?” “Yes” Jordan says hopelessly. “Will you?” Anna leans in and touched his lips with hers gently. “I never knew you would leave me”. Jordan tossed his arms around her back and squeezed her. “I am sorry”


At that moment Anna’s mom came charging into the room towards the window. “What is this?” Anna’s mom calls out to her. “Please mom, listen to me.” “A negro is in your room!” “Don’t call him that” Anna said defensively. Her mom ran to the window sending Jordan out the window and out to the ground. “NO!” Anna screams out to the unconscious Jordon that lay below. “You” she says as she runs to her mom. He is my boyfriend, and you can’t separate us. Anna was crying and her throat was crackling up from the tears. “Yes I will”. Her mom glared at Anna like she was a piece of meat.


Anna shoved her way pass her mom making her stumble. A piece of glass was stuck all the way through her hand. Her breathing increased rapidly. “Help”. Her mom cried out but no one heard her. She gasped for air. “He-he- he”. She soon fainted. Moments later Anna was standing by Jordan squeezing his hand hoping he would wake up. She tried to kiss him, but nothing worked. She lay there hopeless. Her arms around her knees Anna sobbed and sobbed. Five minutes passed and Jordan didn’t even flinch. She began singing the lullaby her grandma sang to her.

If that mocking bird don’t sing,
Im going to buy you a diamond ring,
If that diamond ring don’t shine,
Im always going to stand by your side,
No more sorrow, no more cries
No more nightmares, no more lies,
If that mocking bird don’t sing,
Im going to buy you a diamond ring.

“That was the sweetest song I’ve ever heard.” Jordan says as he looks directly into her eyes. “I don’t like you.” Jordan says. Anna’s heart stops and her hands began to shake. “I love you” he chuckles. She bends down and kisses his head. “I know”

Dear Journal:

My mom passed away on May – 10- 1926 at 10:30. The cause of death was a heart attack. I had seen my dad at the funeral. But he didn’t cry. He only stood hand in hand with a lady who was very pretty. But not prettier than momma. He glanced at me a couple of times, But I ignored him. Momma had an open casket. It was hard seeing her lay there dead. Knowing there was nothing I could do. Jordan was there with me. He wept also, Even though my momma knocked him out of the window. He had a concussion and a broken right leg. But he’s feeling better know. So am I. As long as momma is in heaven with grandma im happy. It’s been 3 years know since momma died. I am 16. Junior will be 16 tomorrow. I decided not to change my name. But to keep my name as my mom named me. Since that’s the only thing I have of her that’s always apart of me. Incase your wondering, Jordan and I live together. But not in Aura. Let’s just say in a town where my grandma grew up.


I will always remember my momma. I know she is watching me right know.

Anna pauses and writes once again. I will miss her dearly.

Sincerely:” Anna Lou Ann Tucker Smith The first.

P.s. I got married to Jordan.