Senior year is a joke. Ben, my best friend, and I joke around in every class and the teachers don’t seem to care because we never get in trouble. All throughout high school, the teachers have loved me. I would get a C on a test, it would be an A before my parents could realize. There’s this really big party this weekend that’s supposed to be at my buddy Trent’s house because his parents aren’t home and I’m so hype. My friend group consists of Trent, Ben, Logan, and me, Mitch. We do everything together, from getting drunk on the weekends to playing basketball for our school since freshman year. Ben and I are the tightest of the group and if the other two leave, we’ll be fine on our own.  We’ve done everything together since birth, and after high school, we plan on going to the University of Chicago together. We both have good grades and have already applied to go there. We’ve always been the dynamic duo of our grade and were both nominated for hoco king this year. I ended up winning with my ex-girlfriend Bri , but it didn’t really matter to either of us who won or lost. Bri and I dated for 1/2 year, and it was a really fun relationship, I just lost feelings after a while and I wanted to be single going into college. My longest relationship consisted of 3 years with this girl named Alivia. We started dating freshman year and stopped the winter of junior year. We broke up because she moved to California, and we just couldn’t do long distances. I was in love with her, at least I thought I was. It was a really hard time for me and Ben was always there to help and talk me through it. Ben just understood me as no one else did, not even my mom. He would listen to all of my girl and family problems and be there to help. My parents don’t really know what I do on the weekends, because if they found out I would be dead...literally. They never let me go anywhere during the week because of basketball and school, and on the weekends I just tell them I’m going to Ben’s on Friday and Saturday nights. My little brother Luke is always there to cover for me and will never tell them the truth, and if he did he’d be dead...literally. 

Today’s the day. I finally get to know if I got into UC or not. The letter’s supposed to be coming in the mail around 3, which is perfect because that’s when I get home from school. I checked in my mailbox this morning, but it wasn’t there. I’ve been trying to keep my mind away from it while at school, I’m just so nervous and excited at the same time. The good thing is that if I get declined, I already got accepted to my second choice, USC. The time went by so slow throughout the school day, but I finally got released to leave at 2:40. I was so excited that I ran out to my car in the parking lot and thankfully I was one of the first few to leave. It takes me about 15 minutes to get home, which meant I was going to be home a little before 3, so I was really hoping the mail ran early. I finally get home and stop at the end of my driveway to look in my mailbox. The letter is in there. My future in one envelope. I can’t wait for my parents or Bella to get home to open it, so I open it right there in my car. I got in. All the hard work and long nights spent studying have paid off. All the times I passed up plans and focused on the school was finally rewarded. It felt like a breath of fresh air. I felt excitement, fear, and relief all in one moment. I called Bella as soon as my feelings were cooled down and I could hear her excitement, yet sadness over the phone. I tried to explain to her that I wouldn’t be leaving for another five months and that we’ll almost have the whole summer together. That seemed to give her more hope and happiness. Next, I had to call my parents. They were filled with joy and sadness, the same reaction as Bella. They told me they were insanely proud of me and that they knew I was going to do big things. Wow. My dream since I was 8, came true. 

Mom and Dad have been bugging me this whole week about my college acceptance letters coming in the mail. Honestly, I think they care more about me getting in than I do. Obviously, I want to get in, but if I don’t then I just have to find a new college to apply to, it won’t be the end of the world. The only thing that might be the end of Ben and I’s friendship is if he doesn’t get in and I do, or vice versa. Like I said before, Ben and I have been inseparable since the beginning and college was not going to end that for us. We both had about the same grades and were planning on majoring in business. I think my letter is supposed to come in the mail today or sometime this week. I’ve been checking almost every day and I’m hoping Ben and I get them at the same time. Later that day, around 3 when I got home from school, my letter was in the mailbox. Yes, I got my letter. I didn’t want to open it without Ben, so I called him to make sure he got him too. He told me he did and I immediately got in my car to go to his house. I was really nervous. I really didn’t want Ben to get declined and I get accepted. I got to Ben’s house and his mom told me he was in his room listening to music. I went in there and he had the envelope sitting on his desk and I could tell something was wrong. I went up to him and he was teary-eyed. I can’t believe it. Ben got declined. I had to open mine next, it was the only logical thing to do. I opened mine and without even saying a word I gave Ben a hug. I got accepted. I’m leaving my best friend. I don’t know how to tell him, but I think he already knows. He looks at me and says, “Congrats brother.” I hug him again and then I leave, saying goodbye to his mom on the way out. I was rushed with different emotions. I was happy, yet so lonely and sad. I couldn’t imagine life without Ben. At least my parents were going to be happy, and I guess that’s all that matters…

I finally get to move in. The day I’ve been waiting for since I was 8. Of course, I’m not excited about leaving my best friend behind, but I tried to convince her to come with me and she chose to stay home with Blake. Honestly, I’m really nervous about seeing who my roommate is going to be. I haven’t talked to anyone from my hometown that’s going to UC, so I don’t think I’ll know anyone there. Since the drive is about 18 hours to get there, we decided to fly out by plane, which ended up only taking about 2 hours. My parents didn’t come because they didn’t want to buy the plane tickets, but Bella came with me and I was dreading the moment I had to say goodbye. We finally arrived in Chicago. Wow, it was a lot busier than I expected. We got a taxi to take us to UC. It was even better than the pictures in the online tour. It was perfect. I didn’t see very many people besides this group of guys by where the door to get into my dorm was. My roommate was in our room when I opened the door. She had long brown hair, very pretty eyes, and was taller than most girls. She was really pretty and looked friendly. I introduced myself and she told me her name was Liv. She said she was from Cleveland, Ohio. From my first impression, I feel like she is someone I can get along with and live with, which was exciting and made me less nervous. Bella and I moved everything into my side of the room and it was time for her to leave. The next time I will see her is in 3 months for Thanksgiving. We hugged each other goodbye, crying into each other’s arms. I was expecting it to be hard, but not this hard. She finally left and I got myself cleaned up and started organizing all my junk. Liv almost had everything already organized and was talking on the phone with her mom. I was so excited to start my college experience until I got sick that night. It was horrible. I couldn’t even eat anything without just throwing it back up. Thankfully, classes didn’t start for another week, so I didn’t miss any school. I missed out on meeting new people and connecting with Liv. The sickness took me a week to get over, but I was just thankful I was healthy and ready to start school finally.

It’s moving in day. It’s the day I have to leave my best friend, until I come home for Thanksgiving, or he comes to visit. My parents, Ben, and I are driving down there this morning, because it’s only 2 hours away. I’m not that nervous about finding out who my roommate is because I’m a pretty easy going guy and will probably get along with anyone who I get roomed with. I’m more worried about not knowing anyone there and not having any friends to start off college with. I also am looking forward to meeting new girls. In my hometown, I had a name, and here I was a nobody, just like everyone else. We finally got to UC, and we unpacked the car and moved it into the room. When I got to the room, my roommate was already there. I introduced myself and he said his name was Zac. He was blonde, tall, and had really blue eyes. He looked like he just came from the beach. He looked like a cool guy that I could vibe with, but I didn’t really know that yet. He said he was from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I was really excited about getting to know him and party with him, because the first impression was good. I got all my stuff moved into my room and it was time to say goodbye to Ben and my parents. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry, but I couldn’t help it. This was the longest I would be going without seeing them, ever. I tried to hide my tears because I didn’t want Zac to see me cry and think I’m weak. My parents and Ben finally left and I had time to organize all my junk and make sure I had all my school supplies for class ready to go for next week. Zac and I had small talk and just talked about our lives and it really showed me him as a person and what his life is like. He was a really cool guy and I was looking forward to starting my college experience. 

Yes, finally time to start classes. The week before I was sick and couldn’t experience any of the “college experience” which was a bummer. Liv was a really great help to take care of me when I was sick and I really felt like I got to know her more than I did. She didn’t really do much besides go to the gym, and hang out with her friend, Zac. Zac has this roommate, Mitch, and he’s very good looking. I can’t get distracted right now though, because of school starting and I want to make a good impression on the teachers freshman year. Mitch never came into our dorm, because I was sick, but Liv showed me pictures of him and she said he was really cute, just not her type. Mitch, I like that name, sounds kind of preppy, but if we ever date, I’ll knock that right out of him.  The first class I had today was anatomy. I took a class in high school about anatomy, but it wasn’t for college credit, so I had to take it now. I wanted to major in nursing. I’ve always been interested in the medical field and my favorite show is Grey's Anatomy, which was one of the reasons I wanted to go into the medical field. Liv was also majoring in nursing, so we would have a lot of the same classes. I was super excited about Liv studying the same major, because then we can help each other and learn off of each other. All of my classes that day went really well and I was looking forward to the rest of freshman year. I’ve never really thought guys were that interesting, but I’m also interested in getting to know Mitch. 

Mitch came over to our dorm the other day and we literally talked for hours. We talked about our lives and backgrounds and I’m not a relationship expert, but I think we have some chemistry. I got his number and we’ve been texting each other for the past 2 days. I really enjoy talking to him and I think I’m starting to like him. I said I didn’t want a relationship in college, but I think Mitch is different from most other college guys. I don’t want to get too carried away, but he’s the perfect guy that my parents would want me to bring home, and he’s way better than Blake. I want to hang out with him, but I don’t want to be the one to ask, so I’m hoping he does in the next few days. Liv and Zac have been hanging out non stop and they’re “talking” right now, but they’re most likely going to date. It’d be perfect if I was dating Mitch at the same time Liv was dating Zac. I’m getting way too ahead of myself, I don’t even know if he feels the same way I do…

It’s been a week in my college experience and I’ve already met a girl I like. She has short blonde hair, the prettiest green eyes, and I can’t stop thinking about her. Her name’s Bec. I met her through Zac, because he went to this girl’s dorm, and asked me if I wanted to come with him and of course I said yes. Then I saw Bec. She was naturally the prettiest girl I had ever seen. That sounds cheesy, but it’s true. We’ve been texting for the past 2 days and every time her name pops up on my phone I can’t help but smile. I already know my parents would love her because she’s the type of girl they’ve always wanted me to date. After talking to her the first time I went to their dorm, I could tell she cared a lot about school and I learned a lot about her life. She told me she’d never had a boyfriend, which surprised me because of how pretty she was. I wanted to learn more about her, even though I’ve already learned so much. She’s nothing like my ex’s, which makes me think that there’s a real chance I could fall in love with her. I’m getting way ahead of myself, but I do really like her, even after only hanging out for one day. I would ask her on a date, but I don’t know if she even likes me or she was just being friendly. I guess I’ll wait for a couple of weeks to see if she has any interest in me or not to ask her out. 

Mitch. He’s perfect. I’ve never been so obsessed with a guy, not even Zac Efron. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and we just met 2 weeks ago. Liv and Zac started dating, so he comes to our dorm all the time, so I leave and go to theirs. Mitch and I do school work together, we talk constantly, and we go out to eat almost every weekend. We told each other we have feelings for each other, so I guess we’re talking. Once again, not the best with relationships, so I don’t really know if we’re talking or we’re just hanging out. He’s not only perfect, he’s respectful. He hasn’t tried to make a move on me, even though we’ve been alone in his dorm multiple times. We haven’t kissed yet, but I wouldn’t mind if he kissed me. He makes me feel like I’m at home. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel butterflies in my stomach. I am starting to like him more and more each time we hang out. I’ve told Bella about him over facetime and she said she was really excited to meet him. I’m so happy with him. Ugh, I can’t stop thinking about him. 

I actually asked her out. I have a girlfriend again. She said yes and we’ve been dating for almost a month already. We almost spend every day together and we haven’t gotten in an argument yet. I finally made a move on her, about 2 weeks ago. We kissed, so now our connection is even stronger. I think this is the fastest I’ve ever fallen for anyone and I’m so happy that it we’re official. Thanksgiving is in a few weeks, so her family is supposed to be coming down to meet mine and me. Since my family already lives in Chicago, her family is going to come to UC and then we can all go together to see my family. I’m really excited to meet Bec’s family because she’s already told me so much about them. Bec and I are taking things slow, and I think that’s important in a relationship, especially with her because she’s never been in one before. I think we can really last and I hope we maintain a healthy relationship, like the one we have now. 

Mitch and I have been dating for about 5 months now. He’s literally so amazing. He hasn’t pressured me into doing anything and we both trust each other more than anyone. We met each other’s families on Thanksgiving and it went really well. Bella and him got along great and his parents seemed to like me. We’re about halfway through our freshman year, and I’ve been keeping my grades up and have all A’s. I can’t believe we’ve only known each other for about 6 months, it feels like we’ve known each other all along. We’ve only had one little argument and it was because I went home for a week and we had a minor misunderstanding. I’ve never been happier with life and I’m so happy we have a healthy relationship. Liv and Zac have been dating for about 5 months too. Sometimes we go on double dates, but most of the time they usually stay in Liv and I’s dorm and Mitch and I go to his. Life is super great right now and I can’t wait for summer because Mitch and I are planning on spending it all at my house. I’m so excited for him to come to my hometown and see what it’s like to live in Maine. Summer’s only about 5 months away. Then, not too much later after that we’ll hit our one year. I can’t believe this is my first ever relationship and I’m already so in love. I never thought it’d be possible. A little country farm girl from Maine falling in love with a city rich perfect boy from Chicago. 

Summer is finally here. My favorite season and I’m so excited to spend the whole time with my favorite person. Bec and I are going back to her house for the entire summer. I can’t wait to spend more time with her family and learn more about her background and how she grew up. We’ve been dating for 10 months now. We’ve barely argued and whenever we do we’re able to figure it out. I am definitely in love with her. Now that I look back on it and think about how I felt when we first started dating, I was in love with her from the beginning. Everything about her I love. She keeps me going every day. She is definitely the only person I’ve ever felt this way about. My family loves her just as much as I do. I think Bec is the one. I never used to date to marry, but I can picture myself marrying her. I can picture her as the mother to my children. I truly am in love with her. 

Summer with Mitch was magical. It was the greatest summer of my life and I couldn’t imagine spending it with anyone else. He was amazing with the animals on the farm, and more importantly he was amazing with my family. He hates Blake just as much as I do, but we never show it. Bella and him got along great, which was one of the things I was worried about the most bringing him home for the whole summer. I am in love. I couldn’t even imagine myself in a relationship a year ago, and now I’m truly in love with someone. He truly motivates me to do everything and he pushes me to be a better person. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. He is everything I’ve ever wanted in a significant other. Sophomore year should be just as great as freshman year and I honestly can’t wait to go back to the university to see Liv and Zac. Our one year anniversary is in 2 weeks and I still don’t know what we should do to celebrate. I’m hoping Mitch surprises me, but I should still get him a gift. I’m thinking about getting him a watch because he’s always late to everything. 

Today is our one year anniversary. One year with the love of my life. I’ve decided to surprise her with an amazing dinner and write her a letter. I’ve never written a “love letter” before so I’m a little nervous about that, but the dinner is reserved for a beautiful restaurant and then after I was planning on taking her to the ice cream shop that we went to on our first date. I’ve been on one year anniversary dates before, but never with someone as special as Bec. I’m excited, yet nervous at the same time. 

It was time for our date and I had the letter written and I was on my way to go to her dorm room for our date. I knocked on the door and then I think I had a mini heart attack. Bec was wearing a purple dress with her hair perfectly curled, the perfect amount of makeup, and she looked perfect. She was genuinely the prettiest person I’d ever seen. Perfect. The date went great and the food was delicious. She got me an apple watch, probably because I’m always late. I loved it and I was thinking about getting one for myself, but obviously I didn’t need to anymore. I gave her my letter and I guess it was good because she started crying. I had only ever seen her cry once and it was to leave her family once summer was over. I was surprised she was crying because I wasn’t the greatest writer when it came to my feelings. She said she loved it, which was a relief. We went to the ice cream shop after that and had a great time. It was the most fun date I’d ever been on. She just made everything fun, even when it was boring. I can’t believe I had only known her for a year, it felt like I’ve known her all my life. 

I don’t feel too good. I don’t know if I ate too much food last during our date, or what was wrong with me. My stomach felt like someone was stabbing it and my throat hurt to swallow. I told Mitch and he said he was taking me to the doctor. When I got there they said they didn’t know what was wrong with me. They said I didn't have strep throat and I didn’t have the flu. They sent me home with some antibiotics, but I didn’t feel any better after taking them. I ended up being sick for the rest of the week, and had to have Mitch and Liv bring me the work I was missing in my classes. It was my second time being sick for a week since I”ve been to college and the doctor’s never know what’s wrong with me. 

Mitch and I are doing great regarding our relationship. We still have an excitement and spark and love when we see each other. We’ve been dating a little over one year and I feel like we could last forever. I can picture myself marrying him and us creating a family together. I can’t imagine me without him and I can’t imagine him without me. We’re inseparable. I don’t like to compare my relationship with my sister, but Mitch and I have a much healthier relationship than her and Blake. We almost never fight and he doesn’t even look at other girls. Neither of us have many friends, so we spend the majority of our time together.  

This Christmas, Bec and I are going to my parents over our break. We went to our separate families over Thanksgiving break and it was the longest I’d gone without seeing her. I facetimed her and we talked over the phone, but that’s not the same as being with her. My parents are very ecstatic about her coming, they love her. I got her a Macbook for her present. We’ve been dating for about 17 months, a year and a half. It’s been the best and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. My ex and I broke up because we fought all the time, and with Bec it’s the opposite. 

My parents love Bec even more after Christmas. They think she’s perfect for me and makes me a better person, and I agree. Summer is coming up and we’re supposed to be going on a trip to Florida with Liv and Zac. Our parents are fine with us going and now that we’re both 20 we have a lot more freedom. I can’t wait to be in paradise with the love of my life.

We’re leaving for Florida today. We’re going by car because plane tickets were too expensive. It’s about 19 hours by car, so we’re going to have to rotate drivers and split up the cost for gas. We rented out two hotel rooms, one for Mitch and I and one for Liv and Zac. We’re going to Destin, which I’ve never been to, because I’ve never even been to Florida. I’m guessing we’re just going to go to the beach everyday because we go to college in Chicago, with no beaches and it’s almost always cold. I packed a lot of swimsuits and almost all the clothes I brought are tank tops and shorts. I’m so excited to go and I love road trips, especially with my best friends and my love. I also love the beach, and I’ve only ever been one other time in my life, but it was with my family. 

Nineteen hours later we got to Florida and it was perfect. It was so warm and the beach was just a block from our hotel. As soon as we got into our hotel we got changed into our swimsuits and we went to the beach. It was so cold, but it was so hot outside it was so refreshing. We went back to the hotel after a couple of hours and my stomach was in knots. I didn’t know what was wrong because I wasn’t on my period and it felt like it did a couple weeks ago when I was sick. Luckily, Mitch brought the leftover antibiotics that the doctor gave me last time, so I took some of those but I still didn’t feel too hot. I decided to just stay in the hotel for the rest of the night and I told Mitch to go out to eat with Zac and Liv, but he insisted on staying with me. We watched a couple of movies and then I was asleep. The next morning I was feeling better, but I still had a little bit of knots in my stomach. I slept for a long time, so I thought I was healthy enough to go to the beach and swim again. When we got to the beach, I felt like everything was spinning and I couldn’t walk straight. I told Mitch and he decided it was time to take me to the hospital. When we got to the hospital we had to wait for 2 hours to finally get a room in the ER. The doctors were running a lot of tests on me and I was in so much pain and confusion. It took them until the night to run all the tests on me and realize what was wrong. They told Mitch first and he came into the room a mess. He had been crying and I never had seen him cry. He looked like the doctors just told him I was going to die. The doctors came in and told me the news that changed my life forever. I had cancer. I had terminal lung cancer. The doctors told me I had a year or less to live. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t look at the monsters who just told me my life was over. I couldn’t even look at Mitch. I just wanted to spiral up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. I wanted to leave the hospital. I wanted to go back to the beach. I wanted to be with my friends. How? How did this happen to me? How do I have lung cancer? Why me? I’m only 20 years old. How am I going to tell my parents? How is Mitch, Bella, and my family supposed to live without me? Wow. One year to live. I had a timer on my life. I couldn’t believe it...I didn’t want to. 

What am I going to do? How am I going to live? I can’t live life without her. I can’t live my life happily without her. I’m speechless. I can’t breathe. I just want to go away with her. I want to spend every living second she has left with her. I need to be strong for her. This wasn’t going to be easy, but I don't think it could end our relationship, nothing can. The love of my life only has one more year with me. She only has one more year in this world. I can’t believe it. I’m sick to my stomach, that this happened to her. Bec among all the people this could’ve happened to, it happened to Bec. We needed to go back home. We had to tell her family. I can’t imagine how Bella is going to feel. 

We went straight from Florida to Maine. Bec decided she wanted to spend the remaining of her life in her hometown and I agreed. I’m not leaving her, so I’m staying with her family again. She wanted to be the one to tell her family, so she told them and it was the most painful thing to watch and not be able to help. I could only comfort them. Bella was destroyed. I had to comfort her because I was in the same situation. Our best friend, our everything, our other half, is leaving us. After her family was able to clean themselves back up and stopped crying they found the best hospital to treat lung cancer in their state. They were planning on taking her there in a week and getting her first round of chemo. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I have one more year with my better half. 

It’s been 6 months since I got the news that ruined my life. That will end my life. I’ve been spending every second I can with Mitch and Bella. Most of my time is spent at my house with them, other than when I have to go to chemo. I’ve lost all my hair now. The hair that I always cut after it grew past my shoulders, and now I just want it to grow at all. I have about 6 months to live the rest of my life and I don’t even know what I want to do. I want to go to Colorado and see the Grand Canyon. I’ll do that during summer. Mitch has been the greatest support system and Bella hasn't left my side. 

It was summer now. Time to go to the Grand Canyon. I had never been there and I was so excited to see how truly beautiful it was. My last road trip of my life. My whole family and Mitch were coming and I was so grateful to have the greatest people in my life by my side through the worst moments of my life. 

The Grand Canyon was beautiful. It was perfect. It was just how it looked in pictures and now we were on our way back because I had to get one of my last rounds of chemo. I had 3 months to live. I was going to die around Mitch and I’s three year anniversary. I don’t know what my family is going to be like when I’m gone. I don’t know how Mitch is going to function in the beginning. I want him to find love again, I just wish it was me. I want to marry him. I want to marry the love of my life. He can marry someone again, I just want to marry him before I die. I need to marry him.

Mitch and I got married 2 weeks before I was suspected to die. I was weak and I couldn’t stand up on my own. My sister had to keep me standing up on the altar. Mitch’s vows were perfect. I couldn’t hold back my emotions. He was my true love. I had never felt like this about anyone in my life. I was leaving my true love, and I didn’t have a choice. 

I knew this was the moment. I was leaving this world. It was August 10th, 2 days before our three year anniversary. I was laying in my bed with everyone around me. Mitch, Bella, my parents. The greatest people in my life, supporting me at my worst. I could barely talk. Mitch was lying beside me and I couldn’t help but cry. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to cause all this pain to the people that love me. It was time, I knew. I hugged Bella as tight as I could and I didn’t want to let go, I had to. My mom and dad hugged me until I actually almost stopped breathing. I told them all I loved them more than anything and I thanked them for everything. I asked them to leave for a couple of minutes for me to have some time with Mitch. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to stop breathing. I hugged him so tight. He hugged me back even tighter. We were both balling. He was my true love, the love of my life, my husband. I kissed him one last time and I felt empty. I felt like I had already died, but I was still breathing. My family came back in and all of them were holding me. I told them it was time. It was time for me to die. It was time for me to leave. I took my last breath and I was gone. I didn’t feel dead, but I knew that I was gone. I could see all of them devastated, depressed, torn apart. Fuck cancer. Fuck this disease that ripped me out of my loved ones arms. Fuck happily ever afters. The moment I met Mitch was the moment I was truly alive, and cancer took me away from that. It took my life. 

She was gone. My greatest love is dead. Today is 3 years with the love of my life, and she wasn’t here to celebrate. I was devastated. I stayed at her house for a week after she passed and I decided to go back home. I got home and I layed in my bed for a month straight. I didn't get up to brush my teeth, I couldn’t. I didn’t shower. I barely ate, when my mom brought it to my room.  I couldn’t live without her. I can’t live happily without her. She was the light in my life. The light had been taken from me because of a fucking disease. Fuck cancer. It took away the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I couldn’t go back to school. Everything I saw reminded me of her. I wore her shirts and kept her sweaters just to be able to smell her again. I missed the way she carried herself. I missed the way she used to put her hair up while she was focused doing her homework. I missed her more than anything or anyone I had ever missed before. My love...gone. 

It had been 6 months since she died. I went back to the campus, but I didn't do much. I just sit there and make sure my work is turned in and done, because I know that’s what she would’ve wanted. I do everything to what I know she would’ve wanted. I haven’t even thought about being in a different relationship. I don’t think I ever can be. I miss her so much. I miss her smile. I miss her hair. I miss her quirky laugh. She’s gone, but I will never forget how much she greatly changed my life for the better.

The end.