A week later, she returned to Iris’s cafe, now accompanied by her parents. The man they were meeting was named Gray. The irony.

As handsome as he was, he didn’t seem any less boring to Eunsol. She would often find herself barely listening to the words coming out of his mouth. Her parents, on the other hand, seemed to adore him.

Her wandering eyes traveled across the cafe, studying each person. Naturally, she couldn’t help but turn to the person who was staring at her across the cafe-

Suddenly, she felt her vision shift. The colors spread across her eyes and she could see the world through a different lense. Eunsol had barely glanced across the cafe when she felt her mother’s hand cover hers. Her mother mentioned something about a date. At the moment, she was preoccupied.

His eyes were blue. His hair was a brownish-yellow.

Realizing how caught up she was in the colors that had suddenly manifested, she almost didn’t notice the man who had caused it all to rush out of the cafe. Unsure of what to say or how to react, she rushed out of her seat and after the stranger with two empty legs and a light head. She ran out into the street, omitting the voices of her mother and father who were both calling for her to stop.

But she couldn’t. Her heart wouldn’t allow it.

She noticed him immediately and sprinted towards him. He was about to enter his car that was parked on the street. “Wait!”

As he touched the handle, she grabbed his other hand.

An old swing. A yellow carnation. A folded note.

Her parents grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her gently, bringing her back to reality. But he was nowhere to be seen.

She didn’t believe that she could ever dread the sight of the place she loved most, but today she did. The cafe was already in sight. She could spot the see small vases of yellow carnations on each square table and the silver IKEA chairs. Part of her was screaming to run away, but her future was waiting.

She looked down at her phone again for the eighth time in twenty minutes. “Of course he’s late,” she murmured to herself.

“Perhaps I can be of assistance.”

Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. She heard footsteps approaching the table, assuming that he had just left the inside of the cafe. He pulled the chair out from the table and slowly sat, as though he was awaiting her protest. She looked at his face and suddenly, all time stood still.

“Who… who are you?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

Meeting his gaze, she felt drawn to him. They possessed a thousand hues of blue with a slight trace of hazel radiating in softly swooping arcs. The emotion in his ocean orbs was galaxies deep, yet they held the warmth of a summer’s evening.

He knew her greatest fears and her deepest desires. Her secrets and passions. He knew her insecurities, all because they were the same as his. Somehow she could sense this.

She chuckled and slowly began to laugh with no control over herself. He seemed unfazed by her sudden hysteria. She shook her head, “This must be some kind of mistake. This is just impossible! And you wanna know why?”

He simply gazed at her.

“Because my soulmate is dead! He is very dead and I’m pretty sure that you are just some… hallucination that my mind created for the sake of comfort.”

“No, I’m not-”

“Oh, you’re not? Then why did you run away yesterday?”

She heard the sound of the cafe door close and waited for the footsteps to walk away. Instead, they began to approach the table followed by Iris’s voice. “Eunsol, I saw you sitting out here by yourself and made you your usual.” She placed the cup down, noticing Eunsol’s undying stare on the stranger’s face.

“Thomas, I assumed you had left already. Would you like me to make you another drink?”

Eunsol glanced down at her latte and observed how prettily it sat in the white china cup with the leaf pattern in delicate milky foam among the pale brown.

She heard him chuckle before responding, “No, ma’am. One hazelnut latte a day is enough.”

Eunsol noticed a small smile play on his lips, realizing that he must have seen the shock register on her face before she could hide it. As she heard the door shut, she could feel the tension dissolve.

“So your name is Eunsol?”

She nodded before taking a sip of her latte, letting the warm liquid sit on her tongue. “And you are Thomas.”

“Well, Eunsol,” he glanced at her drink, “Do you still believe that I’m just a hallucination?”

He offered answers in exchange that they leave the cafe. After much contemplation, she agreed only because of how late Gray was already. After about 20 minutes of driving his car, they arrived at a field of flowers. There were red, yellow, purple, and white flowers. Each color was as soft as any silk, yet they were the most vibrant blooms. He brought her to a swing and they sat upon it, taking in the comfort that Mother Nature provided. “I don’t even know what to say. It’s just so beautiful.”

“I come here all the time and would usually spend hours wondering what each color was, but I feel like I’m looking at a brand new field.” Eunsol peeked at Thomas’s face and noted how peaceful it looked. “Your tattoo,” he remarked, glancing down at her hand, ``What does it mean?”

Eunsol’s eyes widened. She was surprised he had noticed it since she had it in a place that she didn’t think anyone could find very obviously. It was Lavender etched along the side of her ring finger. “This was just a dumb little thing I got when he was…” she paused. It hurt to say “alive” but she knew that he could understand what she meant. “It was the first color I ever saw.”

“That’s very poetic of you.”

She let out her breath with a soft laugh as an attempt to forget her dejection.

“What was his name?”

The corners of her mouth turned up. “Bellamy.”

“Ah, I see… His name was just as unique as yours.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to even have him consider you?" her father berated while Eunsol escaped the kitchen and stomped into the living room.

“He was half an hour late!”

“You will wait 300 hours if that’s what it takes for you to find a suitor!”

“I don’t need a suitor!”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you need a suitor, how else will you provide for yourself?”

“By living my own life!” she screamed, tears torturing her vision, “You don’t even care about me.”

“Honey,” her mother voiced, “Of course we ca-”

“If you cared, you would’ve said something. All you’ve done is sit in silence while forcing me to live a life that you’ve suffered through.” She turned her face to her father, “Not once did you ask me what I thought of Gray. Not once did you ask me how I felt after Bellamy died.” The tears raced down her cheeks. “And you don’t even care that I met someone who made me see colors.”

She watched her father’s arms slowly fall from being crossed and her mother’s hands cover her mouth in silent shock.

Eunsol walked towards Bellamy's gravesite, holding a bouquet of red roses tightly in her hand. Upon reaching the lot, she suddenly noticed a familiar figure that she hadn’t seen in weeks standing before it.

“What are you doing here?” she asked abruptly.

Thomas turned around to face her. “Paying my respects.”

“You knew him?”

“No. But he cared for you. I suppose I’m here because that is one thing he and I had in common.”

“You care about me all of a sudden?”
Thomas chuckled. “Isn’t that what soulmates do?”

She placed the bouquet on his grave. “Color me surprised since you haven’t contacted me in weeks.”

“I apologize, I had business to take care of and wanted to answer any last questions you have.”

She paused for a moment and looked up at him with confusion. “Last?”

He averted her eyes and his neck made a motion as he gulped from the mistake he had just made. “I-I just don’t think that you and I should see each other again.”

She nodded, stepping away for a moment to attempt to make sense of her emotions and put them into words. “Did my parents pay you to do this?”

“What? No-”

“Then you think I’m insane? Like my parents? Is that why?”

“No, Eunsol-”

“Then give me a reason!” Her heated tears rose and burned her eyes. “You can’t just give someone false hope like that!” Eunsol felt the color suddenly drain from, not only her eyes, but her face. She swayed for a moment and with one step backward, slowly crumpled to the floor.

She opened her eyes, feeling as though it had only been a second since she had blacked out.  But she looked at the clock and realized that it had been more than 3 hours. She was now in a hospital room. She scanned the room and her eyes focused on Thomas who was sitting next to her with a solemn gaze.

“What’s Dead Heart?”

She waited, not to gather her words or for him to continue. No, she waited for it to sink into her own mind that she was going to die soon.

“Half of my heart died with Bellamy.” Her eyes flickered up and caught the single tear that had escaped his eye. “The death has been spreading to the other half for a few weeks now and soon, I’ll join him.”

“Eunsol?”

“Hm?”

“Are you sure that you don’t want to tell your parents about your condition?”

Her eyes slowly opened and they were greeted by the brilliant yellow sun.

After discovering her condition, he hadn’t left her side in weeks. When he had invited her for a picnic, she hadn’t been expecting much. But she was surprised to see the strawberry and nutella sandwiches, cranberries, prosciutto and more of her favorite foods.

She rolled over the red and white plaid blanket and on to his chest that had been warmed by the sunlight. “I’m sure that I want to spend my last few days with someone that actually wants me around.”

His fingers traced invisible lines along her shoulder. “You know, I’m kind of curious as to what your name means.”

“My mom once told me that ‘Eun’ means silver in Korean.”

“So ‘Silver Sol’?”

She laughed at his sudden discovery. “Yeah, I guess so.” Thomas placed his arms around Eunsol as she wrapped her arms around his torso and held him close. He played with the strands of her silky, shiny black hair by running his fingers through them.

*****

In the midst of packing the food, she spoke in a soft and mellow tone to Thomas, who was folding the blanket. “Do you think they have cafes in Heaven?” Eunsol stood up.

Under her feet, the grass felt oddly flexible, as though she was standing on a tarp on the surface of a pool.

“Heaven is supposed to be peaceful, Eunsol. If you think that cafes are peaceful, then yes, I’m sure they have a few hazelnut lattes up there,” he responded with a hint of ridicule in his tone. He let out a soft breathy laugh before leaning to kiss her temple. “I’ll take the food to the car and come back for you and the blanket.” Eunsol stood ever so still as her soulmate plucked the basket from her hands and had begun to walk down the hill.

As the distance between the two of them increased, her strength decreased to the point where she fell to her knees. She found herself wanting to call his name, yet her mouth couldn’t form words. She felt her body crumple like a puppet whose strings had been cut and suddenly the world went black.

Upon waking, she wondered why the entrance to Heaven looked like a hospital room. Not only was her surroundings unfamiliar, but even her own body felt sore and weak. She turned her head and noticed a bouquet of red, yellow, purple, and white flowers in a white vase.

She heard a sound come from the other side of the room and barely had time to move her head before her mother was beside her, holding her hand. “Eunsol! You’re alright!” she exclaimed with relief.

“What happened? Where’s Thomas?”

Her mother’s face shifted dramatically upon hearing his name. She gently squeezed Eunsol’s hand. “Sweetheart, he saved your life. Your heart was almost dead when he brought you in here.”

“Where is he? Can I see him?” She moved to leave her bed but was greeted with the rude awakening of a pain in her torso, particularly in her chest. She looked at her mom when she didn’t respond. “Mom?”

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Her mother couldn’t even look at Eunsol. “He’s gone.”

Eunsol gazed at her mother, her lips slightly open and loose. She shuddered, she hadn’t felt this sick to her stomach since the moment she found out that Bellamy was dead, but this time was worse because she could recognize the feeling.

Her mother shook her head and a sympathetic tear ran down her cheek. She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope, offering it to Eunsol. “This is for you.”

*****

The stitching of her skin itched and bothered her, but it was nothing compared to her heartache. It burned in her chest like a coal, torturing her with an agonizing throb. She stared at the letter on the bedside table and closed her eyes, hoping that it would just disappear if she wished it away hard enough. When she gave in, she opened her eyes and reached for the letter. While she opened it, she noticed that her hands were shaking. She tore the envelope open quickly, and ran her hand over the note itself. Finally, she unfolded the letter, without even reading the words, she immediately recognized his handwriting.

The tears flooded her eyes, making it difficult to read, and she wasn’t even aware of their presence until they escaped, making a dark, dampened mark on the page. Her available hand came up to cover the shaking sobs that escaped her lips. As she reached the end of the letter, she found herself leaning into the hospital bed and holding the note close to her heart as if its laments would be strong enough to bring him back. As she closed her eyes, she let the repressed emotions escape for just a quiet moment.

Before I met you, I fell in love with a soulmate that did not reciprocate my feelings. She could not see color and felt nothing for me. When she left me for another man, she took a part of my heart with her. For a while, I suffered a Broken Heart. I lost my colors as well. The first time I saw you at Bellamy’s funeral, I knew you were grieving and kept away out of fear that you wouldn’t have room in your heart for one more soulmate. I’m glad that I didn’t listen to my head this time. I got to know you and you healed me to the point where I can now heal you and provide you with a gift that doesn’t require my presence anymore. I realize that doing this might make you blame yourself, but I also realize that only one of us can live. And I can’t live without you. Some will say that I should’ve let you die and would’ve soon followed after you, but I disagree. I know the fact that I didn’t give you much choice is far from fair. But we will meet again and you can make it up to me on our next date in a little cafe in Heaven.

Until then, live with color, my Eunsol.

With Love,

Your Silver Soul