JAKE

The room went into pin-drop silence for a few seconds before the chattering started.

The girls started, literally, eye-violating me and giggled .I rolled my eyes inwardly.
It's just the looks , baby , I wanted to tell them , but of course , I didn't.

Instead , I cleared my throat a little so that I had the attention of everyone , and then smiled.


"Hello, girls and guys..." I started and then realized I hadn't had the whole class's attention when a pen cluttered down and a small gasp came from one of the back benches. I sighed inwardly...it was just another one of them.


"...I'm Jacob Smith, and I'm going to be you English teacher this year." I finished and the girls giggled again.


"UM...Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Smith, but what happened to Mrs. Spencer?" a guy asked hesitantly.


"She's fine...She just realized that she should be home, reading Little Red Riding Hood to her grandchildren than standing here, trying to teach a bunch of crazy hormonal teenagers Romeo and Juliet " I teased.


"Hey! You were one of ' a bunch of crazy , hormonal teenagers' a couple of years back !" another guy called out and I laughed. I could already tell that I was going to enjoy teaching this class.


"OK , fair enough. And you can call me Jacob in class " I chuckled , raising my hands in surrender.


"So...since we're going to be stuck with each other for at least a year, why don't we introduce ourselves?" I suggested and they all smiled and agree.


"I'll start.
Hi guys, I'm Jacob. My passion is English, as expected, and I wish to be a writer someday after doing my Masters in Journalism “I introduced.


"Mr. Sum-Jacob...you haven't told us how old you are" a girl pointed out


"Of course I haven't...a true gentleman never reveals his age , Ms..." I teased


"It's Jessica , and it's not fair" she protested.


"Honey , sorry to break this to you , but last time I checked . Life isn't fair" I informed her, smiling slightly to ward off the sudden pang of loneliness that struck me.

"Now, Jessica, why don't we start with you? Tell us something about you" I said smoothly before another conversation could be started

And so everyone introduced themselves- There was Riley , Rob , Jessica , Liz , Alice , Tricia , Will...they were a bunch of really good kids ,a nod I found myself being transported to my senior year.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the hour, and everyone groaned, obviously having enjoyed the hour as much as I had.


"Hey, wait everyone .There is only 3 people left - let’s finish it today” I offered and they happily agreed. The last 3 were 2 boys and a girl. The boys were twins- Lucas and Marcus , and when we finally moved to the girl , she froze.


"Ms...?" I asked , curious , as she looked like a deer caught in headlights.


"Rogers" she unfroze , her voice cracking a little.

"Ella Rogers" she said in a stiff , unfeeling voice.


"And what do you want in life, Ella?" I asked. She looked at me then, and it was my turn to freeze.

I've never seen such light grey eyes before. I was sure that they could do both, melt into liquid, warm, kind lava, or freeze into cold, hard iron, like they were then.


"Ella?" I prompted when she stood silent.
For a second, her mask slipped and the ice in her eyes melted, staggering with emotion, before she brought it up and they turned cold again.

Before she could open her mouth , one of the guys groaned.


"I have Mrs. Potter. Make it quick , Shelly" he sneered at her , and if looks could kill , he would be 6 ft under by then.
Note to Self: Do not, ever, call the girl Shelly.
Before someone else could say anything , I decided to take control of the situation.


"You know what , guys , Rob's right , you're getting pretty late. Go now. Ella, no offense, but we'll continue this next class" I announced and saw her body actually sag with relief.

I sat down in my seat when a shadow fell upon my desk. I looked up and , to my surprise , saw Ella Rogers standing there.


"Did you want something, Ella?" I asked as she stood there, twiddling with the strap of her bag. She looked like she was fighting a huge battle , her beautiful grey eyes conflicted. Finally , her shoulders slumped and she took a deep breath.


"Yeah...Welcome to Avalon High" she muttered before scampering away. Don't ask me how I knew , I just did...I knew she was lying and that wasn't what she'd wanted to say to me.

Before I could open my mouth to thank her , though , she was gone.
As I stared down at my work with a sigh, I realized that I'd called her eyes beautiful...

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OK, I was royally baffled at the enigma that happened to be Ella Rogers. That girl was seriously starting to get under my skin.

She seemed to be everywhere , but at the same time , nowhere. She kept her head down in her book the whole time in class, and disappeared a couple of seconds after the bell rang. She rarely ever talked , and , needless to say , had no friends.

She normally floated through like a zombie-blank face and hollow , empty eyes. She couldn't care less about what she wore, but then her outfits were all long-sleeved and very long jeans. She didn't worry about her appearance-she never once wore make-up or even style her hair. It was almost as if she didn't give a damn about life.

But whatever else she was, Ella Rogers was also failing English. I didn’t know why, all her other subjects were perfect A's and her record was squeaky clean. She even did charity and social services , which was also the reason why she'd been promoted into the next year.

So I decided to speak with her about it.



"Yes, Mr. Smith?" she asked in that blank voice of heir’s after I asked her to stay back after class one day.



I thought I asked everyone to call me Jacob?" I asked mildly with a small amole.


"No thanks. I prefer Mr. Smith" she said without any change in her voice or expression, which said that she didn't give a damn what I asked her to do.


"Fine. Ella, you're failing English. I’ve noticed that your grades in en English suddenly started dropping 3 yrs ago, but you've failed every single test conducted this year, and I want to know why, seeing how your grades in English 3 yrs ago and other subjects have been exceptionally high." I cut right to the chase.

She just blinked once.


"Ella?" I asked and she blinked quickly a couple of times before her eyes focused on her green ones.


"I don't know, Mr. Smith, I guess it's because I don't really like the subject. No offense “she shrugged lightly


"English is not a subject , Ella , It's a language. I don't see what's not to like about it. And you don't even need to like it...you just need to understand it...feel it." I opined out and for a second, something like pain and recognition passed across her eyes before she wiped it clear of all emotion.


"Anyway, if you don't understand it, then at least gets some help. In fact, I’m free on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays after school. Would you like me to tutor you?" I offered.


"Thanks, but no thanks, Mr. Smith. I can't afford to stay back after school. But I'll make sure to ...ah...try to understand so I can pass" she said.


"OK , fine .But the offer still stands , whenever you need it" I sighed and smiled a little. And without even returning it , she just nodded it and left...

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"Long day?" my mom asked as I dropped my bag and fell on the couch , exhausted.


"Yeah .I just finished grading my senior batch's test papers" I said


"Let me guess...none of them got above a C?" she offered, smiling.


"Yeah , their English is really awful for almost-18-yr olds. I mean, I know that I was once like them too , a while back , but it's just...really painful to see...In fact, did you know that , according to the latest survey , 92% of Americans read an average of 2 books after graduating school?" I asked in disbelief.


"Not everyone as passionate as you are...And speaking of which, congratulations!”she squealed at the end, grinning.


"For what?" I asked, confused.


"You acceptance letter from Yale came in!" she squealed , forgetting for a fact that she was the principal of a school , which is how I got the job in the first place.


"Oh! I didn't expect to hear from them for another month or so" I exclaimed, surprised, as she handed me the letter.


"I know, and they say you've got to write back to them by the end of the week" she smiled.


"I don't know, Mom. I'm rethinking my decision." I sighed.


"Why?"



"Well, not even a full semester has passed since I joined and I kind of feel bad about leaving my students hanging" I grimaced


"Fine, but think through your options carefully .Don't make any rash decisions" she said wisely and I nodded.


"Hey, speaking of your students, one of the seniors got in too...Do you know her?" she asked, handing me another letter. I froze when I read the name.


"Rochelle Rogers? Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously.


"Ella's in your class?" she asked.


"Mom, Ella has been failing English this past month’s .Every single test. I actually had a conversation with her about it and she told me that she wasn't interested in the subject now you're telling me that she's gotten accepted into Yale? ”I demanded.


"What are you talking about? Ella? Failing English? Are you sure we're talking about the same Ella here?" Mom asked


"Pretty sure, why?" I asked, curious.


"Here. Read this" she said, getting up and rummaging through one of the drawers before coming out with a thick file.

Page after page was filled with short stories, poems, and certificates and even some newspaper clippings about writing contests. The whole file was filled with them; some 80 sides. And one, very familiar and very shocking name crept up in each page.


"Ella did all this? But-But how? ”I asked. Stunned. Anyone could clearly see that she was in love with the language.


"I don't know why she's been failing Jake. She used to be one of the star students here. Hell, even the teachers used to ask her some doubts."


"Mom, what happened 3 yrs ago? That was when her grades started dropping." I asked and a look of realization, immediately replaced by sorrow and concern crossed her face.


"Um...Steve Rogers was a teacher her. Actually. He’d been a professor in Yale, but after he married, he settled down here. He taught here for 5 yrs. He passed away in a car accident 3 years ago." she said quietly, and I detected something else in her voice...something that sounded like...wistfulness and longing?


"He was her father?" I asked, finally understanding.


"Yeah, but they were more friends than father and daughter .He was her role model. I expect that's the reason for her sudden disinterest in the subject" she smiled sadly , and there was silence for a quiet while.


"Mom can you do me a favor?" I asked and she nodded.


"Will you talk to Ella and suggest that I tutor her?"


"I'll try my best. And it's a good thing if she agrees. She's been so quiet an\d lonely since it happened .It would do some good for her if she takes up writing again" she smiled again.


"But mom-don't tell her that I'm your son or that I asked you to talk to her" I said and she nodded.

We exchanged some more small talk and enquiries and then I stood up to take leave.

I had a mission: I was going to get Rochelle Rogers to open up , even if it included irritating her , getting under her skin , overwhelming her or making her happy...

ELLA

It was starting to weird me out. There I was , one second , doing the one thing that I was good at , fading , and the next , Mr. Call-Me-Jacob-Smith was next to me.

He followed me everywhere-wherever I went , he seemed to be there , and even though I knew I was being paranoid , something told me that he was intentionally doing that.

And then one day , Ms .Roberts , the principal and a good friend , calls me and asks me about my grades. She plays the concerned-parent-figure card , telling me that she's worried and disappointed , and urges me to take tutorials , with Mr. Smith.

Seriously? It seemed as if the universe was conspiring against me.

Adding to my pressure , an acceptance letter from Yale had reached me [ delivered no less by Mr. Smith with raised eyebrows ] , asking me to write back to them along with a piece of my work.
Yeah...like that was going to happen.

Whatever dreams I had of going to college were squashed the minute I stepped into the HOUSE OF HORRORS 3yrs back.

The students of Avalon High had also , apparently , noticed my English teacher's sudden interest in me , especially the female population , and I was ambushed one day during lunch.

I was walking to lunch after History when I felt someone yank me by my hair and slam me into a locker.


"Keep your voice down b****" someone hissed when I let out a little shriek , more out of surprise than pain.


"Let me go" I said quietly . not wanting to cause a scene , even though the corridor was empty.


"I was wondering...how much did you pay him?" a voice asked and I recognized it immediately as Malory , one of my classmates and , of course , a cheerleader.


"I don't know what you're talking about" I said truthfully , voice still calm. I'd trained myself to keep my voice and expression calm despite how angry or otherwise emotional I was , over the 3 yrs.


"Don't play dumb with me , Shelley" she sneered and I froze.

"How much di you pay Jacob to convince him to sleep with you?"
I took Jacob to mean Mr. Smith.



"Don't call me that" I said , ignoring her main motive , my blood boiling.
No matter how calm I was , that name always managed to fire me up.


"Oh! You don't like being call Shelly?" she asked in a girly high voice , and an evil grin.

"Look , Jacob is mine and if I hear you're trying to steal him , you are so dead" she threatened and I let out a mirthless laugh. Did she think that her little threat would work on me? I'd experienced much worse , both verbal and physical.


"He is all yours , believe me. Now let me go ! " I hissed , trying to push her hand off , but that only made her tighten her grip.
Oh great...Another bruise?


"Stop struggling ! Or I'll - " she hissed again , but someone interrupted her.


"Is there a problem here?" a voice asked mildly and we both froze as we recognized the voice..


"No , Mr. Smith." Malory said in a sweet voice , letting go of me immediately , turning to face him.


"Oh? Then why are you harassing Ms. Rogers , Malory?" he asked , crossing his arms across his chest menacingly.


"I'm not! The b****-" she said in a whiny voice , but he cut across her again.


"Language Malory! Do you want me to give you detention?" he asked in an eerily calm voice that gave me goose bumps . She flinched slightly.


"I'm sorry Mr. Smith" she mumbled under her breath.


"Then leave...You should be in the cafeteria , not loitering in the halls" he ordered and she immediately obliged.

"Are you alright , Ella?" he asked , turning to me , and I snapped.


"No .No , I'm not , Mr. Smith" I hissed and he looked surprised at my outburst.


"Are you hurt? Should we go - " he asked , anxious , but I'd had enough.


"I don't need your help" I snapped , interrupting him.

"I don't need you following me around all day. I can take care of myself. So from now on , mind your own business !" I snapped , and stomped away without a second glance , leaving him stunned and dazed...


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I regretted my outburst the second I stepped in to House of Horrors ( I made that name up after Jack moved in , and don't you think it's quite fitting?". He was just trying to be nice and I'd bitten his head off for no reason.

But what scared me the most was the fact that I'd lost control. I , Rochelle Rogers who'd perfected the art of disappearing , of fading , and who had perfected the complete ultimate calm , lost my head and bitched off at a random guy , and no less , a teacher.

Needless to say , I went to school the next day , trying to apologize , but it seemed like he'd taken my advice [ or rather command ] to heart , because he was avoiding me.

He didn't address me in class, avoided meeting my eyes, was rarely ever alone, and, in short, was minding his own business...


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"Mr. Smith!" I called and he turned in surprise.
Finally, after one whole week of him avoiding me, I got to corner him.


"Oh, um...hi Ella" he said, uncomfortable, as I walked over to where he was standing.

"Uh, I have to ask you a favor. I know you're here to yell at me or something, but can we move to a more private place? I kind of have a reputation to maintain, you know, and I'd rather you didn't do it in public" he grimaced, looking around the supermarket parking lot, where we were at.

My face fell and my heart sank as guilt consumed me.


"I'm here to apologize, Mr. Smith. I've been trying to for the past week, but I only got the chance today" I said nervously and he looked at me, surprised, confused and relieved all at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Smith...about that day...you were only trying to help, but I was kind of in a and mood and I took it out on you. I'm really sorry; please forgive me “I begged.


"OK, I have to admit...that was not how I'd predicted this conversation to go" he grimaced
"And you have nothing to apologize for. It's my fault for being so nosy. I realize that my actions have been a bit...um... stalker-is , and I'm sorry for that" he said , smiling slightly.


"So I'm forgiven?" I asked hopefully.


"Only If I am" he retorted and I sighed in relief.


"Well , I guess I'll see you in class then" I said after an awkward pause.


"Wait , you're going home?" he asked


"Um , no , I'm going to the park" I said hesitatingly


"Sorry if I'm being a nuisance , but do you have a ride?"


"I don't .I was going to walk there , actually..It's not far from here"


"DO you need one? A ride , I mean?" he asked , and a hopeful expression came into his face. Whether he hoped I'd accept , or that I wouldn't , I didn't know.


"Its fine , I can walk" I said uncomfortably.


"It looks like it's going to rain , so you'll be drenched either right now or when you walk home , so walking' s not wise" he pointed out and I looked up to see , for the first time , dark clouds gathering.
Damn! He had a point.


"I really don't want to be a bother. I'll catch a bus or something" I said , shifting my weight from foot to foot nervously.


"Please , it's no trouble. My house is a couple blocks from there , and I'll sleep better at night knowing that you reached safe" he assured me and after a lot of fidgeting and reluctance , I agreed...

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"Thank you Mr. Smith" I said as I got out of the car.


"No problem Ella...Do you - " he started , but I was distracted as a black SUV pulled up.


"It's fine , I'll see you on Monday...Bye!" I called out hastily and ran away as the door opened and the sole reason for my miserable existence jumped out.


"SHELLEY!" she squealed as I lifted her up in the air and twirled the both of us around , laughing.

"I missed you , Shelley!" she said , burying her head in my hair.


"Claire-bear , it's only been 2 months..." I teased , but my eyes stung slightly.


"Did you miss me or not?" the 4 yr old demanded and I laughed.


"I missed you too , baby" I assured her , kissing her forehead.

"Now , come on...Spill everything that's happened these past 2 months." I ordered as I pulled us to the swing. She immediately obliged , settling down comfortably on my lap.
And so Claire told me about how a kid called Malory had stolen Jack's bear ( 'Malory' s always seem to be mean , don't they?) and how Jack had gone and complained to Ms. Gold , who in turn gave Malory a standing punishment for the whole of the period ( all this happened in 25 minutes)...


"Why can't we be together , Shelley?" Claire asked suddenly , in the middle of telling me how she and Lilith had baked cookies , and how Lilith had forced her to go to ballet classes.


"We can , baby...after sometime" I assured her.


"You always say that...why can't we be together now?"She demanded.


"Well for starters , I'll have to finish school , and then I have to get a job. Then I'll have to find a new house for us and a lot more..." I said slowly


"So we don't have to go back to that house again?" she asked hopefully


"No we don't...we'll go somewhere near the beach , so we can swim with the dolphins! You've always wanted that , right?" I asked enthusiastically , but she didn't smile and giggle in happiness like I expected her to.


"Hey...What's wrong , Claire-bear?" I asked gently , stroking her hair.


"I dream about them , Shelley...every single night , I hear them shouting... I'm scared..." the last part came out as a whisper that twisted my heart. Claire had been too young when all the s*** had hit the fan but it doesn't mean that she was oblivious to it...


"Don't be , honey...You know that I'll never let anything happen to you , right?" I asked , kissing the top of her hair softly.


"I know , Shelley , but I'm afraid for you " she said innocently , her big blue eyes concerned.


"I'll be fine Claire-bear..." I assured her. She nodded , and then reached around to my back and pulled my hair to the front . She rested her head against my chest and covered her face with my hair , as she used to do when we were kids.

We sat like that , and after a while I coaxed her to start talking again. And too soon , our 90 minutes were up.


"Claire , honey? It's time to go" Lilith called and I saw her standing about 10 ft in front of us...I didn't know why , but Lilith didn't seem to like me very much.


"Already? But I want more time!" Claire whined and I got up , cradling her in my arms.


"Me too , sweetheart , but Lilith's right...you've got to go..." I said , setting her down.


"But can't you come with us? Lilith's very nice , I'll bet she'll let you stay with us" Claire pleaded , and a couple of tears ran down her cheeks.


"Claire , sweetie , don't cry , please , I won't be able to go if you do..." I begged


"OK.I won't" she said , wiping her tears.

"I've got something for you" she said , and pulled out a multicolored ribbon from the pocket of her frock.


"Pretty..." I whispered , taking it from her.


"Yeah...like you" she whispered back


"Thank you Claire-bear. I promise..we'll be together in 8 months" I assured her as I hugged her tightly...Right then , I would have given anything to be Lilith...to go home with this amazing , sweet little child...


"You promise?" she asked


"Cross my heart and hope to die" I replied , keeping a straight face.


"Claire?" Lilith called again and we walked hand in hand to where she was standing .


"8 months...I'll be counting...I can do that now" Claire whispered to me as she hugged me tightly as if there were no tomorrow.


"I promise...I love you , Claire-bear" I laughed , kissing her nose. Immediately , the corners of her mouth twitched. This was a game we played.


"I love you more" she challenged


"I love you most" I said , and after kissing her and hugging her one last time , I let her be taken away from me.

I watched her tiny face waving goodbye to me from the window of the car till I could see her no more , and then collapsed on a swing.

The skies thundered and the first of the raindrops fell as a tear rolled down my cheek...Earth mother crying along with me.

Suddenly , the swing next to me creaked gently , and I couldn't see who it was since I had my head down. But I could smell him , though.

The slightly familiar scent of chocolate and aftershave reached me and I froze...So he hadn't left , after all...he had watched the whole time...


"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked through thick tears...I didn't know why I cared , but I didn't want him to see my tears , so I kept my head down.


"Not right now..." he replied casually , and that was all that was said on the matter.

So I sat on a swing in the park in the pouring rain , the ribbon clutched tightly in my hand and cried , with my English teacher beside me...

JAKE

For one moment , just when I think I've figured her out , the next she proves to be so much more. I seriously couldn't even begin to fathom what was going on in Ella Rogers' mind.
Firstly , she drifts through school like a zombie , not talking to anyone. Secondly, she snaps and yells at me for trying to help and then corners me at a supermarket parking lot and apologizes for it.
Next , and this is what I still can't get over , when I drop her in the park , a very cute little girl of about 4 or 5 runs to her and Ella starts playing with her , laughing and giggling.
I didn't know who the little girl was. She didn't have Ella's resemblances , not even a single bit , so I figured that she wasn't related to her.
But they were very close and clearly loved each other , and then Ella cries after the girl leaves with another woman , who doesn't seem to have a connection with either of them!
And then the very next day , Ella goes back to how she usually is-cold , uncaring and unfeeling. Whenever she sees me , she freezes for a minute , starts biting her lip , and then runs off in the opposite direction.
As if these were not enough , I saw her crumble a piece of paper and throw it in a dustbin with a laugh. Curious , I took it out and , to my great surprise , saw the acceptance letter to Yale.
I mean- who the hell throws a letter from one of the Ivy League colleges in the trash?
I know I've asked this earlier, but seriously, what was with this girl? ...

_____________________________________________________________________________

Someone clearing their throat made me look up from the papers I was grading.

"Ella?!" I asked, shocked, as she stood there in front of me, nervous.


"Um , yeah , Hi Mr. Smith" she said , shifting her weight from foot to foot.


"Hi?" said as though asking in a question , unsure of how to react.
After 3 days of avoiding me , she's finally worked up the guts to talk to me?


"Yeah , I did" she mumbled , dropping her gaze , ashamed.


"Oh My God! I said that loud?" I asked , horrified , and she nodded.

"Kill me now..." I moaned , embarrassed .


"It wasn't your fault Mr. Smith- I have been avoiding you because...well , because I didn't know what to say" she said , very much interested in her shoes.


"OK...and now you do?" I asked warily.


"Yea...I want to say thanks" she said , biting her lips nervously , and my hands itched to reach out and rescue her lower lip from the mercy of her teeth.


"For what?" I asked, surprised. Damn , how was it that this girl always did the opposite of what I expected her to do?


"Just....generally , thanks" she mumbled


"Well then , you're welcome...generally" I said lightly , and she just nodded.

We stood there for a minute in awkward silence.


"Ok...that's all..." She said and turned to leave , still not meeting my eyes.
When she was just 2 feet from the door , I remembered something.


"Ella?" I called and she turned.
"For the record , I like what you've done to your hair" I said , smiling warmly.
She looked at her absent-mindedly , confused about what I was talking. But when she saw it , she froze.
She had braided the multicolor ribbon that the little girl had given her in her hair , the vivid colors starkly contrasting with her dark brown hair.
She looked up at me then , slowly , until she met my eyes.
We stared at each other for a few seconds until she broke the contact by blinking once.


"Thank you" she said softly , and what followed astounded me.
Her cold grey eyes melted so that they were now scorching , and the corners of her mouth twitched and her lips curled into a hesitant , small smile.

Rochelle Rogers was genuinely , consciously smiling...at me ! ...

ELLA

"Where do you think you're going?" a voice hissed as I entered and I felt myself being slammed on the wall.
I whimpered slightly as my head throbbed.

"I asked you a question!" she hissed again and gripped my hand tightly. Own. That was going to leave a bruise.


"Nowhere...just up to my room" I said again as she twisted my arm.


"Liar! Where did you get this from?" she demanded , pulling the ribbon in my hair.


"I..I...bought it...at the store" I lied.


"Where did you get the money from?" she asked , eyes narrowing into slits.
"You stole our money?!?"


"No! No , I didn't , I swear , I didn't!" I begged and hated myself more as a couple of tears ran down my face.


"Did you sleep with someone? Did you sell your body for money , you filth ?" she demanded , slamming me against the wall again.

"Don't cry! You disgust me " she said , letting go of me at last. But I no longer had the strength to stand even so I crumpled to the floor in pain.

"I knew it ! I knew you were always a w**** !GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! " She spat and left.
I didn't need telling twice. I crawled to the door and pulled it open , my legs somehow managing to stand..
I didn't know where I was going , because I was too numb to even think. My head was throbbing like crazy and my muscles were screaming in protest. I didn't even notice that it had started to rain.
I found out where my legs were taking me as soon as I rounded the corner. I'd been there many times with him and it was kind of a second home to me before all this crap started.
I knocked on the door twice. I vaguely heard the door open and someone call my name , but by then , it was too much for my body to bear , and I blacked out.
But I never felt my body touch the ground though.
My last thought was wondering how the arms around me seemed so very gentle...

ELLA

I was awoken by a sharp jolt of pain in my stomach. I flickered my eyes open and then groaned when I realized where I was.
My stomach jolted again and I clamped my hand to my mouth. ‘Oh Lord, not here, not here, not here’ I prayed as I crawled out of the bed and reward the door which I fervently hoped with all my heart was the bathroom. Thankfully, it was, so I wasted no time in crawling to the toilet and throwing up violently.
I desperately tried to hold my hair up at the same time as clutching my head. I felt like I would burst any second
And then I heard the door opening behind me, and there were gentle hands. They eased my hair from my grip and held it up with one hand, the other rubbing soothing circles on my back.
Not really caring enough to be embarrassed or ashamed, I focused on emptying the contents of my stomach. And even when they were all out, my body dry-heaved uselessly for a few minutes till I weakly let go of the seat of the toilet and sat down on the floor. One of the hands, the one on my back, left for a few seconds before handing me strips of toilet paper upon their return... I gladly took them, trying to wipe my mouth clean my mouth of the sick.

“Finished?” an all-too-familiar voice asked and I froze.
I looked up slowly and there he stood, in all his glory, his forest green eyes liquid with concern.
I nodded weakly before opening my mouth to ask what the hell he was doing there, but he guessed my intentions and shook his head.

“Questions later. Now come on, let’s get you back to bed” he said kindly, and before I knew it, I was in his arms in the air.
One of his arms was under my knees and the other at the back of my head as he carried me bridal-style ,back to the bed , cradling me against his body like a child , as though I weighed 20 lb instead of – well , you don’t need to know that.
He set me down on the bed gently before handing me a glass of water and Tylenol. After drinking it, I felt much better. My stomach was no longer hurting, but the rest of my body was throbbing like a b****, especially my head.
I curled my knees to my chest, curling myself into a ball and wrapped my arms around my body as I rocked back and forth.
He just sat patiently next to me, just like in the bathroom, giving me the space that I so desperately needed.

“What are you doing here Mr. Smith?” I asked after a while when I was sure that my voice wouldn’t shake.


“It’s Jacob, and I could ask you the same question.” He rolled his eyes, but I could see that he was relieved that I was OK. Hmm…weird. Why would h care?


“I came to see Ms. Roberts. Is she here?” I asked
“Wait, this is her house, right? Or did I come to the wrong one?” I asked, afraid. After all, it had been almost 3 yrs since I had come here.


“Yes, this is our house, and no, Mom is not here – she’s gone to California…she won’t be back till the end of the month” he smiled.


“Wait, what? Mom? Ms. Roberts is your-is your mother? “I asked.


“Um, yeah. Guilty…” he said, smiling sheepishly, raising his hands in surrender.


“But how?”


“Roberts is her maiden name. She changed it after her and my…father divorced “he explained and I noticed how he hesitated slightly when he said ‘father’.


“Oh…” I muttered, my head buzzing. We sat in comfortable silence for a while as he gave me time to absorb it all.
In all the time I’d known her , Ms. Roberts had never told me the nature of her relationship with my Dad , or how she came to know him , though I’d got a very good inkling of it over the years.

“OK, Thanks for…everything. I guess I’ll see you at school on Monday “I sighed, uncurling myself.
He looked at me, surprised, before realization struck him.

“Whoa! Where do you think you’re going?” he asked


“Home, where else?”


“No.” he said firmly and I raised one eyebrow.


“And I should listen to you because…?” I asked



“Because you’re in no condition to move.” He said and I rolled my eyes.


“I’m perfectly fine.” I said
“Just because I was sick for a few minutes don’t mean that I’m paralyzed.”


“Sick for a few minutes? Ella, you were out for more than 3 hours. You have a bruise at the back of your head and on your arm, and a raging fever.” He informed me and d I gasped. Oh Lord. Could this get any more embarrassing?

“That…That doesn’t mean anything” I defended.


“Oh yeah? Fine then. You walk to the door by yourself and I’ll let you leave. Deal?” he challenged.


“Deal” I scoffed, standing up. As soon as I took a step, however, I realized that my body had other ideas.
My head started spinning and pain shot up my head, my legs feeling like jelly. I wobbled, but he was quick and caught me before I hit the floor, supporting most of my weight back to the bed.

“OK. Point taken” I sighed, defeated, as he looked at me smugly.


“I hope so, because you’re not getting out of this bed until I deem you fit” he said firmly and I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady. Don’t you know your manners?” he fake scolded, making me laugh.


“Young lady? Seriously?” I asked and he shrugged, moving to a closet and rummaging through it.
“How old are you?” I asked before thinking, and shut my mouth immediately.


“Older than you” he shrugged again.


“Why won’t you tell anyone how old you are? You didn’t even tell the class when they asked.” I asked, curious.


“Good to know you actually pay attention in my class” he joked and I rolled my eyes again.
Then it hit me.


“Oh crap!” I said, and he whirled around.


“What? What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.


“Nothing…it’s …well, I just realized that I was alone, in the same house with me English teacher…” I revealed, thought I added ‘and flirting with him’ in my head.


“And that’s a bad thing because…?” he asked, frowning cutely
S***! Did I just call him cute?


“Well, what if you take advantage of me? Me being hot and everything” I asked lightly.


“Oh please. Don’t flatter yourself. Besides, you’re not even my type” he scoffed and I found myself deflate slightly.
Oh Dear God. What the hell was happening to me? First I was flirting with him, second I thought he was cute and now I was upset because he said I wasn’t his type?


“Ella! You’re needed on Earth!” he said and I jumped slightly.


“Sorry, what?” I asked


“You do that a lot, don’t you?” he mused


“DO what?”


“Zone out”


“I don’t know. Do I?” I asked, frowning slightly.


“Wow. You really don’t pay attention to yourself” he mailed, amused, and it wasn’t a question.


“What were you saying before I … ah…zoned out?” I asked, choosing to ignore his last comment.


“I was asking you if you liked chicken noodle soup” he asked


“You cook?” I blinked, surprised, and he laughed.


“Me? Nah. My mom left frozen items in the fridge knowing that I’m so lazy that I’d starve myself before making some food or going out to eat. But her chicken noodle soup is to die for.” He admitted


“Yeah, I remember. And her cookies! God, I used to love them!” I reminisced.


“You remember? Meaning that you’ve been here and eaten her food before?” he asked, surprised.


“Yeah, I’ve…um…been here a couple of times” I shrugged, uncomfortable, internally smacking myself.
He, however, guessing that I needed a subject change, helped me out.


“Here you must be cold. Just wait for a few minutes and I’ll go warm up that soup” he said, wrapping a thick blanket around me. I shivered and realized that he was right, as usual.
It was in my head, I decided. After all, I did hit my head, and I was feeling lightheaded, hence the flirtation and stuff.
But I had to admit. I if had to bang my head one again to flirt with him, I would gladly do it.

Now where the hell had that thought come from?


“What’s wrong with you?” I blurted out and then blushed when I realized what I had just said.
He looked up, blinking once, before bursting out laughing.


“What’s so funny?” I frowned.


“You! You’re funny!” he answered in between chuckles.


“Me? How am I funny?” I asked, confused.


“You’re the one who walks almost 8 blocks in the rain with a head wound and pass out for 3 hours, only waking to be sick, and you ask what’s wrong with me?”


“That’s not what I meant” I mumbled and he looked at me.


“What did you mean?”


“You’re…You’re just...wierd “I said, not knowing how to put it.


“Gee, thanks. Helps a lot with my pride” he said wryly.


“No! Not like that! It’s just…arch!” I sighed, frustrated.


“OK, OK, calm down. Why do you think I’m weird?”


“Well…because of me!” I said and he lifted one eyebrow, confused.
“You’re-You’re talking with me…like with a normal person” I explained.


“Ella, sorry to inform you, but you’re not special or anything…You are a normal person” he said with a smile.


“I’m not normal! I’m anything but normal! Don’t you see me at school? How I behave? How everyone shuns me? How my teachers pity me? Why can’t you be like them?” I demanded, and instead of being angry or laughing like I expected him to, he scratched his chin thoughtfully.


“Hmmm… I don’t really know…maybe…” he answered truthfully.
“…maybe they do that because the just see you…” he said vaguely, staring off into space.


“And you don’t?” I asked, confused.


“No.” he said flatly, holding my gaze with his.


“No?” I asked, feeling lightheaded.


“No.” he repeated.
“I don’t see…I look …” …

ELLA

“Um Hel-Helen?” I asked in a weak voice and she looked up.


“What do you want?” she asked with the usual scowl and disgust.


“Uh…Well, I – I wanted to-to ask you something” I stammered. She didn’t speak, so I continued, gulping, before looking around to make sure there were no potential weapons nearby.
“I’m – uh- I’m failing a subject, back at school…” I started. I didn’t mention which subject because she’d think I was lying.
“…and I …I need to pick up my grades if I want to graduate…”


“So what? Can’t you just sleep with you teacher so that he’ll change your grade? ‘Coz there is no way I’m going to give you money to bribe him.” She sneered, and I flinched.


“No, it’s not money. The teacher is prepared to tutor me…for free, so…so I –uh…I was wondering if-if I could go…” I finished lamely.
Lord, I hated that I was afraid of them. I hated that I couldn’t even steady my voice while talking to them.
Before she could answer, however, Jack sauntered in from work and her attention switched to him immediately.


“Hey babe.” He said, reaching over so they could exchange some saliva, and I looked away, disgusted.
They exchanged some small talk as she made dinner for him (a dinner that I wouldn’t be getting, as usual), completely forgetting about me.
That would’ve been gift in most situations, but not now, because I wanted to get this over with already.

“Um…Helen?” I tried again and her head whipped around, along with Jack’s.


“What are you still doing here?” she demanded.


“You didn’t tell me…if I could go…”


“Go where?” Jack demanded, but Helen answered him for me.


“She wants to go to a tutor because she’s failing at school and can’t graduate” Helen said nonchalantly.


“But-But it’s for free” I added.


“How long will it take?” Helen asked.


“3 days a week…about an hour or so each day...” I answered awkwardly.
There was a complete silence, and I was growing desperate.

“Please! I’ll-I’ll do anything! And my chores won’t be affected, I swear! I’ll finish everything on time; just as usual I’ll just be gone 1 hr for 3 days…” I begged.


“Fine, you can go” Jack said dismissively, turning his attention to his dinner again while I stood in shock.


“I-I can?” I stuttered.


“We’re just allowing you because you’ll be out of our hair as soon as you graduate and I can’t stand another year with you” Helen spat and if I didn’t have complete and utter control over my body, my jaw would’ve dropped open.


“Thank you!” I gasped out and ran up the stairs to my room. I pinched myself very hard and gasped again as the pain struck.
I could hardly believe that they were letting me get away with it. It looked like the Gods were finally smiling down upon me.
Maybe Helen and Jack had changed a teeny-weeny bit. I mean, people change all the time, don’t they?

No, they don’t.
I almost screamed out loud as I felt the hand sneaking its way up under my shirt, but a hand clamped down roughly on my mouth.

“Shh…we don’t want to wake anyone, do we? “A voice said silkily, sending goose bumps up my arms.

“You know, I really shouldn’t allow you to go to the tutorial, seeing how you’ll graduate and leave me alone with the hag…” he pouted evilly.
“…but then you said you’d do anything, and that gave me a couple of ideas” he said, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively as he removed the hand on my mouth.


“Why don’t you just do it already, Jack?” I spat, tears threatening but I pushed them away. I would not give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

“You’ve had 3 yrs…why didn’t you?” I challenged, feeling sick and tired of his game.


“Oh, but where is the fun in that?” he pouted again, his hands roaming freely under my clothes…everywhere.
“Don’t give in easily, pet. The main thing I like about you is your feistiness…” he grinned and I shuddered.
“Believe me, I will take you, but after your 18th birthday”


“What you’re suddenly all about protecting virtues, now, are you?” I snorted.


“Not really…I just think that abstinence helps the body grow hungrier, don’t you? And besides, I don’t want to be put in jail.” He grinned, licking his lips.
“Just you wait….we’re going to have a lot of fun together” he grinned again, showing his ugly yellow teeth, and smashed his lips to mine for a few seconds before storming away.

I crawled out of the bed and into the shower silently. This was the worst part of living in the House of Horrors.
Helen’s harsh, hurting word, punches, bruises and insults, I could take. But Jack…Jack was the one I was actually scared of.
This little night time visits of his had grown frequent over the years. He’d been visiting my room every single night in the past year , and no matter what I did , no matter how long I stood in the shower , no matter how hard I scrubbed on my skin , the dirt and the shame and the feeling of his grimy , filthy hands all over me never left.
During the first few months, I was hopeful that if I told Helen, she would make it stop. I mean, I knew she was horrible and a borderline psychotic, and we hated each other with a passion, but this had to be a low blow, even for her. And even if she wouldn’t stick up for me, she would at least kick him out for kind of cheating on her, right?
Wrong.
I thought so until the day I got stabbed in my arm for lying.

The warm water trickling down my skin made me calm, somehow, and I finally let the tears loose.

‘This is for you, Claire’ I thought.
“This is all for you...” …

JAKE

“OK , first of all , we need to work on your grammar” I started , taking out her test papers from my bag. Somehow, my mother and I had convinced her to take tutorials with me, and this was our first class.

“Personally, I think your knowledge of the subject is perfect. You just need to show some interest and put in some hard work” I sighed.
She looked up at me then, her eyes meeting mine.


“You know” she said shortly, her eyes narrowing into slits.


“Know what?” I asked lightly.


“Don’t play with me!” she snapped and I winced slightly.


“What do you want me to say, Ella? That I know that you’re a great poet and was a child prodigy and everything?” I snapped back and she continued to look at me, neither of us blinking.
I didn’t know why , but I felt as if I was in a trance…and also as though her eyes were sifting and racking through mine , looking , searching , experimenting…until she blinked , breaking our contact.


“Never mind. Where were we?” she asked in that distant voice of hers and I sensed that she was pulling away, shutting herself.


“Ella, don’t…don’t do that, please.” I said and she blinked again, this time in confusion.


“Do what?” she asked.


“Withdraw into yourself…close yourself to the world” I said and her eyes glinted before hardening.


“What I do or don’t do is none of your business, Mr. Smith” she said coldly.


“You’re right, this is none of my business, but just know that you don’t have to be so tough, harsh, cold and…and distant all the time” I snapped, angry, and felt myself calm down as she winced.

“Ella , I get it if you don’t trust me- we’ve known each other for barely 5 months , but you’ve got to start trusting someone . Why do I get the feeling that you don’t do that a lot?” I asked calmly and she just stared blankly at me.

“What is it? What are you so afraid of?” I murmured, curious and concerned as she dropped her gaze from mine.


“You’re wrong” she said in a different voice.


“About?”


“It’s not others that I don’t trust…it’s me “she said, looking up at me.


“Why not?” I asked, sitting down next to her in one of the benches, and there was a bit of a silence as she looked down at her clenched fists.



“You remind me a lot of him…” she said in a timid voice after a while.


“Your father?” I asked, talking a wild guess and she let out a small laugh, surprising me.


“I never really thought of him as my father, but yeah…him…”


“I heard he passed away…I’m so sorry…” I murmured


“Don’t be…it was a long time ago…everything’s different now, and trust me, the last thing I want is your pity” she said a bit harshly, without really meaning to. But then she realized what she said, and let out a breath, trying to calm herself.

“Never mind my sob story. Let’s get back to my grades.” She said, shaking her head slightly, and after searching her face to see if she was OK, I nodded as well.


“We need to get your grades up to at least a B- if you want to get into a decent college.” I resumed, and she grimaced.


“Who says I want to go to college after graduation?” she challenged.


“You don’t? Then what do you want to do?” I asked, surprised. I would never have pegged Ella as the girl who would settle down as a housewife as soon as she got out of school and married her sweetheart.
Speaking of which, did she have a boyfriend?


“I have…plans.” She shrugged.


“Plans? What kind?” I asked, curious.


“What college would accept me anyway?” she said, distracting me, and I sighed.


“Oh come on! You’re a star student! If you could just concentrate on getting your English grade up a bit , you’ll have colleges scouting you like sharks” I rolled my eyes.


“Look, thanks for the motivational speech, but I don’t really think I’ll be going to college after I graduate.” She sighed.


“And that’s why you threw a Yale acceptance letter in the trash?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.


“How do you know about that?” she demanded, blushing.

“Ella, I know it’s none of my business, like you said-“I started


“Sorry about that” she apologized, blushing harder


“-but you have an amazing talent and you’re throwing it all away” I continued as if I’d never been interrupted.
“DO you know how many people would kill to have what you do? To get an acceptance from somewhere like Yale? “


“That’s not really anything about my talent. My dad worked at Yale and he secured a seat for me there. And besides, I highly doubt if I have that ‘talent’ anymore”


“Ella, you can’t lose talent just like you can’t just fall out of love” I rolled my eyes.



And you know about falling in, or out of love?” she asked, suddenly looking very interested.


“I-No! That’s not the point!” I exploded.
“You haven’t lost your talent –you’re just out of touch…or you’re too stubborn to admit that you haven’t.” I accused, and then walked over to my desk to pull several papers from my bag.

“Look at this!” I commanded.


“These are-these are mine …” she realized, eyes wide as she looked at the copies I’d made of her poems and short stories.
“The school still has these?” She asked, amazed.



“Yeas, but you’re missing the point again.” I confirmed, impatient.


“That being…?”


“Ella, talent like this can’t be erased or lost! It’s a gift-you’ve been given a great, wonderful gift, and you’re being stubborn and throwing it away.” I sighed; feeling exhausted all of a sudden, rubbing my hand over my face.


“Well, have you considered the possibility that maybe I don’t know how to…ah...open this gift?”


“Ella, I don’t mean to sound cheesy, but where there is a will, there is a way. You just have to look within yourself, and if that doesn’t work, then you can always seek help…all you have to do is just ask” I told her.
Geez, I sounded like such an old man!


“Well then, what if I don’t want this gift?” she asked, exasperated.


“Then that’s just plain stupid.” I replied flatly
Did she not realize how privileged she was? Was she really that blind?


“OK, OK I’ll do it…Just don’t-don’t give me that look” she grumbled.


“What look?” I asked, surprised.


“The one that says that you’re disappointed in me and that you expected more of me, a.k.a. the one you’re wearing now” she informed me, and I was shocked. How had she read me so easily?
“I’ll do it, Ok? I’ll...I’ll try to look within myself and all that stuff” she said, wrinkling her nose at the very thought of it.


“Really?” I asked, excited for reasons unknown to even me.


“On one condition.” She said, and my smile faltered.
“We don’t talk about this again. When I’m ready , I’ll show you , but until then , no mention of what just happened now. Deal?” she asked , and I pretended to think about it.


“Deal” I agreed finally , unable to keep the ridiculous grin away from my face…

ELLA


I was doodling as usual, trying to think of a suitable topic to write a poem on, when the bell rang and Mr. Sm- Jacob entered.

“Ok, Settle down, people” he cleared his throat

“Now, we have a new student here …a transfer from East High…” he said when they obliged, and the girls giggled, which meant that it was a guy.


“Hi guys…” a new voice, which I assumed was the new guy, said. There was something about his voice…something that tugged at the back of my memory m but I couldn’t figure out what, for the life of me.
So I shrugged and continued with my doodling, which no longer bothered Jacob.

“I’m Laurence Richards, and I’ve transferred to this school because my family just shifted here…” he continued and I froze.
Richards…Richards…Think Ella! Where have you heard that name before?
It struck me at the exact same moment that he spoke again.

“…but you guys can call me Lance…”
My head snapped up, and I was horrified to see him looking straight at me.
S***! S***! S***!
He’s back…


“-ELLA!” a voice shouted , snapping me out of my trance , and I looked up to see that Jacob , including the whole class , was staring at me , smirks on my classmates’ faces and a slightly irritated as well as concerned look on Jacob’s , which indicated that that wasn’t the first time that he’d tried calling me.


“Ye-Yes, Mr. Smith?” I stuttered and the whole class laughed.


“As I was saying before, we are going to study the famous author, Jane Austen and her works…” Jacob began, thankfully diverting the attention from me and the entire class groaned.
I, however, tuned out, as I already knew all the facts and the plots and whatnots of Jane Austen and her works off my fingertips.
Almost 25 minutes passed when it happened. I had actually grown bored of doodling, and grudgingly decided to try and pay attention to what Jake was saying.
Wait, ‘Jake’? Where did that come from?
Although it did sound nice, rolling off the tip of my tongue.

“… Started writing Persuasion as soon as she finished Emma, and completed it sometime on August of 1816. The last novels published during her time were Persuasion and Northanger Abbey, though neither of them had the-“he was saying, and, to my surprise, interrupted him.


“NO.” I said, and the whole class turned to look at me.


“Is there anything you’re trying to say, Ella?” Jake asked with one perfect eyebrow arch.


“I’m trying to say that you’re wrong” I said after taking a deep breath.


“Nice to see you’re finally paying attention in my class, Ella, but may I please ask about what I’m wrong?” she asked, and I blushed.


“You-You said that Northanger Abbey and Persuasion were published during Austen’s time, but they were not…”


“Really? When were they published, then?” he asked


“They were published together sometime during December of 1818, by which time Jane Austen was long dead. She died on 18th July 1817, and only 4 of her works were published during her time – Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Mansfield Park, and Emma. Northanger Abbey and Persuasion were both posthumous novels …” I said and the whole class stared at me in shock.


“And you’re quite sure on this?” Jake asked.


“Positive.” I confirmed.


“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re saying that you’re well informed about this than your teacher, who, by the way, has a degree in English Literature?” Jake challenged, and I blushed beet red.


“No, I didn’t mean it-“I started to apologize, all flustered, when I caught the glimmer of amusement in his eyes and the smile that was slowly curling around the edges of his mouth.
The jerk had arranged this! He had actually lied after seeing that I was paying attention, so that I would speak up in class and defy him! And, God help me, but he was actually enjoying this!
I was about to yell and give him a piece of my mind, when the bell rang, and the class groaned again. It was, after all, no secret that all the students enjoyed this class the most ever since Jake joined the school.

“That will be all , then , people , so shoo…get out of my class…and Ella…will you please stay back so that we can set our little…misunderstanding right?” Jake said jokingly, his tone turning challenging to address me.
Some of my classmates smirked at me evilly, probably thinking that I was about to get some serious punishment, or at least a trip to the principal’s room, but little did they know that I wasn’t the one who was going to get an earful.

“You jerk! You were enjoying it, weren’t you?” I accused as soon as the room cleared and it was only Jake and me in the room.


“Whatever do you mean?” he asked innocently.


“You know what I mean! Don’t play games with me! You knew that you were wrong, and you purposely lied so that I would defy you, didn’t you? And you were enjoying yourself the whole time that I stood there, embarrassed and uneasy!”


“Enjoying myself? Me? At your expense ?!” he asked , giving a fake gasp and pouting , but his face slipped and he started laughing as soon as he saw the glare on my face.

“Oh, come on, Ella…don’t be a spoilsport…it was just a joke!” he laughed


“Yeah, trust you to find a joke in one of the most embarrassing situations in my life!” I yelled.


“OK, OK, I’m sorry! I just wanted you to actually participate a little in class, and I knew this would rile you up…I’m sorry, Ella, really” he apologized, actually looking a little sorry.
I continued to glare at him, though, still angry that he had played me.

“Please, Ella, PLeaaassssseeeee? Will you please forgive me?” he begged, pulling the puppy dog face that he knew I couldn’t resist, and damn! It worked.

“Fine. You’re forgiven; don’t ever do something like that again, though. There’s kind of a reason I want to stay unnoticed” I grumbled.


“Cross my heart and hope to die! So we’re friends now again?” he asked excitedly as his brilliant smile took hold of his face, and it was practically impossible for me not to join him.


“Friends” I agreed.


“Although it was funny watching you blush!” he burst out laughing …


“Well, well, well …look who it is…” a silky voice said and I froze.
The next second, my back was up against the lockers and my hands were pinned on either side of me.


“Hi babe…Long time, no sees…” he smirked, moving closer, and I felt his breath on my face.


“Don’t call me ‘babe’ “I warned


“Oh, but I missed you so much, Ellie! I thought you’d be happy to see me again.” He said, pouting slightly.


“What do you want, Lance?” I demanded as he moved closer and buried his face in the crook of my neck , and I let out a shiver…I could hardly believe that the sweet , kind , caring guy I’d known not so long ago had turned into this…this monster!


“I told you…I missed you…”


“I can’t say I return the sentiment. Now Let.Me.Go!” I said through clenched teeth. I struggled, but that only made him tighten his grip on me.


“I must say, that was quite a show you put on their back in class, Ellie…you always were feisty and cheeky…”


“Let go of me, you bastard!” I spat and he laughed, pulling away.


“You don’t seem to understand the situation her, Ellie. You are at my mercy. I can do whatever I want to you…” he said, amused, his blue eyes glinting.



“You wouldn’t dare…its broad daylight.” I said, trying to sound brave and threatening, but noting how my voice shook.


“In case you haven’t noticed, there’s no on here.” He said.
“And it looks like nothing has changed. You’re still the same scaredy cat…” he grinned.


“And you’re still the same a**hole” I retorted. His smile faded and his face tightened with anger.
Before he could open his mouth, though, footsteps sounded and we both looked at the direction as they grew louder.


“Listen, b****. When I come for you, and rest assured that I will, you will pay for this.” He growled and released me, abruptly disappearing in the opposite direction as I crumpled to the floor, no longer having the strength to stand.

No, No, Please, God No!
This couldn’t be happening in my life right now…not again…

JAKE
“OK, people, I know you’re all very excited for your winter holidays, but there’s been a small change of plans.” I announced to the class and there was a collective groan.


“If the school postpones the holidays’ start, there is going to be murder” Rob swore and some laughed.


“No, that’s not it. You see, we teachers are very impressed with your work…” I said and looked specifically at Ella who blushed slightly and ducked her head.
“…so we suggested to the principal that you needed a break. She was convinced, we all came up with an idea…You’re going on vacation!” I announced, and the cheers almost deafened me.


“Where and when?”


“The start of the holidays has been pre-poned by a week and you guys are going on a 6 day trip to Jacksonville, Florida! …


“Jake!” Ella called, leaning over my desk.
Somehow, she’d gotten used to calling me Jacob, which, in time, morphed to Jake.
I didn’t mind though…I liked the way it rolled sensually off her tongue.


“Ella, what’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.
Her silver-grey eyes were wide and panicked and she was breathing heavily, indicating that she’d run all the way here.


“Jake…about the trip…There’s going to be a seating order and everything, right?” she asked and I nodded, confused.


“The seating and partnering is going to be in alphabetical order “I told her, frowning slightly when she paled.


“Is there any way you can change it, maybe?” she asked


“No, Ella, I don’t think so. Why?”


“Nothing…It’s nothing. Thanks. See you later…” she said with a weak, half hearted smile and went out the classroom.
Worried and confused, I took the attendance register and checked it…The name preceding Rogers was…Richards! Lance Richards!
I was more confused than ever. Ella had been acting weird around Lance all week, ever since he joined the school, but he didn’t seem any different toward her or anything. So what was it between the two?


“Now, about the seating in the flight…these people will be your partners and roommates for the whole trip, and no changing.” I said the next day during home room.


“So girls and guys would have to sleep in the same room?” a guy asked, grinning.


“You will be given a suite, Marcus, hence there will be 2 rooms “I said bluntly and his face fell. Some others were cheering at the idea of staying in a suite.
“Now, back to the subject- I know you all will want to bunk with your friends, but I’m sorry to say that you can’t. You partners will be chosen according to your surnames.” I grimaced and there were several ‘boo’s and groans.
“However, as a small change in tradition, we will ne partnered according to reverse alphabetical order.” I announced, grinning.


“’We?’ Then you’re coming too, Jacob?” Riley asked, hopeful, and I nodded.


“Since I am your homeroom teacher, my name will be included in the list too…” I confirmed.
Immediately, the girls formed a group and started a heated discussion about who was going to try and snag me as her roommate.
“…in alphabetical order” I finished and their faces fell. Nevertheless, they started calculating using all the students’ surnames.
“The arrangements are as follows-remember that you can’t change your partners” I warned before reading out from a list.
On and on it went, until I reached the particular names.
“…Lance Richards with Sam Pieta…” I read and Ella, whose face had become deathly pale suddenly, gained color and reflected relief and hope.
“…Rochelle Rogers…” I trailed dramatically as Ella held her breath.
“…with Jacob Smith” I finished, winking discreetly at Ella, who seemed to have lost all senses.
All the girls looked crushed and Malory looked as if someone had smashed a club on her face.
Oh joy! This was going to be so much fun!


“So I don’t get thanks?” I teased Ella as she came for our usual ‘tutorials’.


“For what?”


“For saving you from Lance. It has taken a huge sacrifice on my part and I feel that the least you can do is thanking me” I said, keeping my face very serious with a lot of effort.


“Well thanks, but you don’t have to sacrifice anything. You can go with Jessica or Riley or Rob or any f them.” She said in a dejected tone as she took out her books.


“Why? What’s wrong, Ella?” I asked, dropping my act.


“I’m not going” she sighed.


“What? Why not?”


“Helen won’t agree” she admitted.
I had come to learn that she lived with her mother, Helen, and her husband, Jack Sosa.


“Is it because of me? Because I’m your partner?” I asked, feeling sick.


“No, don’t worry. It’s not you” she assured me with a smile.
“I’m grounded, so I can’t go anywhere. I had to literally beg for coming to the tutorials, so they won’t allow me to go to Florida!” she rolled her eyes, but I could sense her disappointment.


“Oh, come on, Ella! Everyone’s going! Can’t you ask her?” I pleaded. I’d been really looking forward to spending time with her, not as a teacher or a tutor, but as a friend.


“I’m sorry, Jake, but it’s not even a compulsory trip. There won’t be any point in asking” she said sadly.
“But don’t let it bother you. Enjoy you, and just remember to bring me a crap load of pictures” she said, mustering a smile when she looked at me crushed expression.
We north sat in a melancholy silence for a while


“Ella, between the Fitzgeralds and the Martins, who does your mother dislike the most?” I asked, sudden inspiration striking me out of nowhere.


“What?” she asked puzzled.


“The Fitzgeralds of the MARTINS?” I asked impatiently, walking to the register and getting her mother’s mobile number.


“She hates them both, but the Martins more, I guess.” She answered, confused.
“Jacob, what are you doing?” she asked as I typed in the number.
I shushed her and put the call on speakerphone as her mother picked up.


“Helen Sosa here.” Her voice came.


“Mrs. Sosa, I’m Nathan Martin, classmates of Ella’s. Is she there?” I asked, trying to imitate Nathan’s voice.


“NO, she isn’t. What do you want?” she asked in a cold voice.


“Well, I was put in charge of the attendance of the trip to Florida and I just wanted to confirm that she isn’t coming” I said in an indifferent tone, and then purposefully muttered loud enough for her to hear,
“Like that’s a big surprise”


“Who said she’s not going?”


“Oh please. She never goes anywhere, and why should this be any different? If she can’t go to the park, then how will she afford to go to Florida? I sneered and mimicked laughing cruelly.


“Watch your tongue, young man. You shouldn’t speak to your elders like that” she said harshly.


“Whatever. I just wanted to confirm, so I guess my job’s over. It was a real pleasure talking to you, Mrs. so-“I said in a bored tone, dangling my bait right in front of her, and just like I predicted, it worked.

“Now just a minute, young man, I’ll have you know that Ella is going to the trip” her mother interrupted, and Ella gasped.
Yep. Hook Line and Sinker.


“Really? Maybe you don’t know this Mrs. Sosa, but the trip isn’t free. Meaning you actually have to pay for it. $5000, in fact.” I mocked.


“I know, and guess what? Ella will indeed be going and will be carrying an extra few hundred dollars so she can buy you a stupid striped hat!” her mother said haughtily and hung up.


“See? Problem solved” I smiled at Ella as I hung up too. Her eyes were wide with shock.


“I-I never thought she’d agree, not in a million years. How’d you do that?” she asked me, awestruck.


“Appealing to the ego of the person helps” I grinned and shrugged, quite pleased with myself.


“But now she’s going to be extra rude to Nathan and his family, and they won’t even know why…” she said worriedly.


“Relax, Ella. Nathan is my cousin, so I’ll just tell him that I used his name for a bit and to expect hate mails for a little while, The Fitzgeralds are family too. That’s why I asked. They won’t mind” I shrugged.
“Now that it’s out of the way, how about you take the rest of our hour off to go home and start packing. We’ve only got 5 days left.” I suggested and she slowly smiled.


“Oh My God, Jake…you know what?” she asked, excited.


“What?” I asked , amused


“I’m going to Florida! “She squealed …

JAKE
“OK, people, I know you’re all very excited for your winter holidays, but there’s been a small change of plans.” I announced to the class and there was a collective groan.


“If the school postpones the holidays’ start, there is going to be murder” Rob swore and some laughed.


“No, that’s not it. You see, we teachers are very impressed with your work…” I said and looked specifically at Ella who blushed slightly and ducked her head.
“…so we suggested to the principal that you needed a break. She was convinced, we all came up with an idea…You’re going on vacation!” I announced, and the cheers almost deafened me.


“Where and when?”


“The start of the holidays has been pre-poned by a week and you guys are going on a 6 day trip to Jacksonville, Florida! …


“Jake!” Ella called, leaning over my desk.
Somehow, she’d gotten used to calling me Jacob, which, in time, morphed to Jake.
I didn’t mind though…I liked the way it rolled sensually off her tongue.


“Ella, what’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.
Her silver-grey eyes were wide and panicked and she was breathing heavily, indicating that she’d run all the way here.


“Jake…about the trip…There’s going to be a seating order and everything, right?” she asked and I nodded, confused.


“The seating and partnering is going to be in alphabetical order “I told her, frowning slightly when she paled.


“Is there any way you can change it, maybe?” she asked


“No, Ella, I don’t think so. Why?”


“Nothing…It’s nothing. Thanks. See you later…” she said with a weak, half hearted smile and went out the classroom.
Worried and confused, I took the attendance register and checked it…The name preceding Rogers was…Richards! Lance Richards!
I was more confused than ever. Ella had been acting weird around Lance all week, ever since he joined the school, but he didn’t seem any different toward her or anything. So what was it between the two?


“Now, about the seating in the flight…these people will be your partners and roommates for the whole trip, and no changing.” I said the next day during home room.


“So girls and guys would have to sleep in the same room?” a guy asked, grinning.


“You will be given a suite, Marcus, hence there will be 2 rooms “I said bluntly and his face fell. Some others were cheering at the idea of staying in a suite.
“Now, back to the subject- I know you all will want to bunk with your friends, but I’m sorry to say that you can’t. You partners will be chosen according to your surnames.” I grimaced and there were several ‘boo’s and groans.
“However, as a small change in tradition, we will ne partnered according to reverse alphabetical order.” I announced, grinning.


“’We?’ Then you’re coming too, Jacob?” Riley asked, hopeful, and I nodded.


“Since I am your homeroom teacher, my name will be included in the list too…” I confirmed.
Immediately, the girls formed a group and started a heated discussion about who was going to try and snag me as her roommate.
“…in alphabetical order” I finished and their faces fell. Nevertheless, they started calculating using all the students’ surnames.
“The arrangments are as follows-remember that you can’t change your partners” I warned before reading out from a list.
On and on it went, until I reached the particular names.
“…Lance Richards with Sam Pieta…” I read and Ella, whose face had become deathly pale suddenly, gained color and reflected relief and hope.
“…Rochelle Rogers…” I trailed dramatically as Ella held her breath.
“…with Jacob Smith” I finished, winking discreetly at Ella, who seemed to have lost all senses.
All the girls looked crushed and Malory looked as if someone had smashed a club on her face.
Oh joy! This was going to be so much fun!


“So I don’t get thanks?” I teased Ella as she came for our usual ‘tutorials’.


“For what?”


“For saving you from Lance. It has taken a huge sacrifice on my part and I feel that the least you can do is thanking me” I said, keeping my face very serious with a lot of effort.


“Well thanks, but you don’t have to sacrifice anything. You can go with Jessica or Riley or Rob or any f them.” She said in a dejected tone as she took out her books.


“Why? What’s wrong, Ella?” I asked, dropping my act.


“I’m not going” she sighed.


“What? Why not?”


“Helen won’t agree” she admitted.
I had come to learn that she lived with her mother, Helen, and her husband, Jack Sosa.


“Is it because of me? Because I’m your partner?” I asked, feeling sick.


“No, don’t worry. It’s not you” she assured me with a smile.
“I’m grounded, so I can’t go anywhere. I had to literally beg for coming to the tutorials, so they won’t allow me to go to Florida!” she rolled her eyes, but I could sense her disappointment.


“Oh, come on, Ella! Everyone’s going! Can’t you ask her?” I pleaded. I’d been really looking forward to spending time with her, not as a teacher or a tutor, but as a friend.


“I’m sorry, Jake, but it’s not even a compulsory trip. There won’t be any point in asking” she said sadly.
“But don’t let it bother you. Enjoy you, and just remember to bring me a crap load of pictures” she said, mustering a smile when she looked at me crushed expression.
We north sat in a melancholy silence for a while


“Ella, between the Fitzgeralds and the Martins, who does your mother dislike the most?” I asked, sudden inspiration striking me out of nowhere.


“What?” she asked puzzled.


“The Fitzgeralds of the MARTINS?” I asked impatiently, walking to the register and getting her mother’s mobile number.


“She hates them both, but the Martins more, I guess.” She answered, confused.
“Jacob, what are you doing?” she asked as I typed in the number.
I shushed her and put the call on speakerphone as her mother picked up.


“Helen Sosa here.” Her voice came.


“Mrs. Sosa, I’m Nathan Martin, classmates of Ella’s. Is she there?” I asked, trying to imitate Nathan’s voice.


“NO, she isn’t. What do you want?” she asked in a cold voice.


“Well, I was put in charge of the attendance of the trip to Florida and I just wanted to confirm that she isn’t coming” I said in an indifferent tone, and then purposefully muttered loud enough for her to hear,
“Like that’s a big surprise”


“Who said she’s not going?”


“Oh please. She never goes anywhere, and why should this be any different? If she can’t go to the park, then how will she afford to go to Florida? I sneered and mimicked laughing cruelly.


“Watch your tongue, young man. You shouldn’t speak to your elders like that” she said harshly.


“Whatever. I just wanted to confirm, so I guess my job’s over. It was a real pleasure talking to you, Mrs. so-“I said in a bored tone, dangling my bait right in front of her, and just like I predicted, it worked.

“Now just a minute, young man, I’ll have you know that Ella is going to the trip” her mother interrupted, and Ella gasped.
Yep. Hook Line and Sinker.


“Really? Maybe you don’t know this Mrs. Sosa, but the trip isn’t free. Meaning you actually have to pay for it. $5000, in fact.” I mocked.


“I know, and guess what? Ella will indeed be going and will be carrying an extra few hundred dollars so she can buy you a stupid striped hat!” her mother said haughtily and hung up.


“See? Problem solved” I smiled at Ella as I hung up too. Her eyes were wide with shock.


“I-I never thought she’d agree, not in a million years. How’d you do that?” she asked me, awestruck.


“Appealing to the ego of the person helps” I grinned and shrugged, quite pleased with myself.


“But now she’s going to be extra rude to Nathan and his family, and they won’t even know why…” she said worriedly.


“Relax, Ella. Nathan is my cousin, so I’ll just tell him that I used his name for a bit and to expect hate mails for a little while, The Fitzgeralds are family too. That’s why I asked. They won’t mind” I shrugged.
“Now that it’s out of the way, how about you take the rest of our hour off to go home and start packing. We’ve only got 5 days left.” I suggested and she slowly smiled.


“Oh My God, Jake…you know what?” she asked, excited.


“What?” I asked , amused


“I’m going to Florida! “She squealed …

JAKE

I was seriously bored out of my mind, standing there with a smile plastered on my face while the cheerleaders flirted shamelessly with me. I mean , technically , we didn’t have to have a teacher-student relationship ; it can taken as we were all tourists who had just met , but it was still too much for 7 girls to come one to one guy all at once.
And just when I wanted to spend time with Ella. That’s why I dragged her to Florida in the first place- I wanted to spend time with her; get to know her, and perhaps, if I was extremely lucky, gain her complete trust.
I don’t know why I was so obsessed with her; there was just something about her that drew me in…tempted me to look twice into her deep silver gray eyes…
And oh those eyes!...those eyes that spoke volumes of passion , of determination , of secrets kept , of whispers in the dark…but also of weariness , of wariness , of trepidation , of fear , and , underneath it all , buried deep down so that they weren’t reflected , pain , and a deep , almost desperate yearning for some love…
‘Love’? ‘Whispers in the dark’ ? Geez , what the hell was I thinking? She was my student , for crying out loud!
But was she? Was she just a student to me? It’s true , she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever met in my life , but not just her looks , no.
Her beauty consisted of her courage ; of the way her dark , wavy hair cascaded down her back…of her silent defiance ; of her smooth , cream-white skin…of her silence that spoke volumes , of her long , lean legs…of how she didn’t trust anyone easily , but when she did , gave her heart and soul for them ; of her silver gray eyes with just a hint of blue in them , how they dared people to delve in their depths and find their essence; but most of all, Ella’s beauty lay in her heart’s capacity to love so freely , so unconditionally…well , that and the shape of her perfect , plump , pale pink lips…
Get your mind out of the guttrer , Smith! A voice roared in my head and I gave myself a mental shake.
I sneaked a peak to where Ella had been lying, as I had been doing ever since I’d been dragged away, only to find that she wasn’t there.
I looked around, concerned, when a scream distracted me.

“Oh My God! Lance! Somebody save Lance!” a high pitched voice had everyone covering their ears and looking at the water. I was the first to locate them.
Just a few feet into the ocean, where waves started forming, and a few people were floating. I recognized 3 of my students, and then looked to where Aria, the girl who had shouted, was pointing.
Somebody, apparently Lance, was stuck in one of the huge waves. He flailed his arms about, trying to get out, but the current was too much for him. The wave wouldn’t have been dangerous, if not for the pile of rocks that were jutting out at the edge, just where the wave would expectedly crash.
Panicking, I immediately ran to the water, but before I could jump in, the guards restrained all of us, getting their bikes so they could get to him.
But, unbeknownst to them, someone had already gotten to Lance. I watched as a slender figure swam strongly against the current to where Lance was stuck, and held his hair to keep him above the water.
One of the guards saw this, and jumped in, without waiting for the water bikes, and I couldn’t blame him-now there were 2 students who were, very possible, headed to their death.
Suddenly, Lance’s rescuer’s face turned towards us, and I felt sick to my stomach. Apparently, the person who had been stupid enough to go after Lance, someone whose dark brown hair I’d recognize anywhere, was Ella Rogers.
Cursing loudly, I tried to jump in again, but I was held back. I struggled, shouting pointlessly even though she couldn’t possibly hear me, until a guard calmed me down, pointing out that the guy who’d jumped in and three other guards with their bikes had already reached Ella and Lance.
I watched, my heart in my mouth, as the 3 guards on the bikes reached down and hauled the other 3 aboard and started to speed back to the shore.
I let out the breath that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding only after they touched safe, dry sand, and the 2 kids were helped down.
Everybody rushed to where the bikes stood, and where Ella and the guard were having a very tired conversation. Lance had been taken away on a stretcher because he’d passed out on the way. A couple more guards, some carrying medical equipment, pushed their way to Ella and started taking her pulse and everything while somebody else wrapped a blanket around her.

“Ella! Ella!” I yelled and her head snapped up as our eyes locked. Her body sagged in relief and a small smile lit her face as she started running towards me. I pushed out to the front and held my arms out almost at the same moment that she slammed into me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
Not caring that we were in a public place, I wrapped my arms around her tightly and almost lifted her off her face in my enthusiasm and relief.

“Ella! That was so stupid! What did you do that for? You could’ve been killed! I accused , pulling back to look at her and she rolled her eyes at me.
“Are you hurt? Are you Ok?” I demanded, but just as she opened her mouth to answer, someone called her name.
I looked up and saw an old medic/coast guard approach us, and I subtly tightened my arm around her waist.


“Hi Ms. Rogers. I’m Dr. Patrick Dempsey, and I wanted to congratulate you. If you hadn’t held Mr. Richards back, he would certainly have hit the rocks ahead” he said, smiling warmly.


“It was nothing” she mumbled, looking down, probably embarrassed, and shrugged.


“It wasn’t nothing…it was reckless and stupid” I muttered and she shot me a glare.


“I agree. Reckless and stupid, but brave nonetheless. Your girl is very courageous” he grinned at me.
I saw Ella blush as she tried to wriggle out of my hold on her waist.


“I know” I replied with a grin.


“Well, I’ve got to go. Bye Ms. Rogers, and you too, young man. Take care and make sure your girl doesn’t do something stupid and reckless like this again” he grinned, amused, winked at me, and walked away, at the same time that Ella and I muttered together,
“I’m not ‘his girl’”
“I will” …


“ What , you’re giving me the silent treatment , now?” she asked , amused , jutting out her lower lip….those lips that I so wanted pressed against mine…
Whoa! Where had that thought come from?
I mentally smacked myself and forced myself to concentrate on opening the door to our suite.


Jake…” she whined, following me around like a cute, lost little puppy as I roamed through the suite, trying to fix something to eat.
“Oh come on, Jake! Don’t be like this! You’re spoiling my high!” she complained, still pouting, and I snapped.


“Yeah? The ‘high’ you got from jumping in the ocean, intentionally getting caught in a huge wave, thereby increasing your chance of possible death?” I asked and she rolled her eyes, plopping down on the couch.


“You’re blowing this way out of proportion “she sighed, running her hands through her half wet hair.


“’Blowing it way out of proportion’? Ella, do you know how worried I was? I literally had a panic attack! I was just seconds from jumping in myself and dragging your stupid butt out!” I yelled, but she just grinned at me cheekily.


“And you call me reckless?” she cackled, cocking her head to one side slightly.
By that point, I was literally shaking with pent up anger and emotion. Wanting to calm myself down, I closed m eyes and counted backwards from 25.

“Why were you worried, Jake?” she asked in a sober tone, and my control snapped.


“Because I care! “ I blew up, enraged.
Was this girl really so clueless? Couldn’t she see that I was worried about her? That I cared for her?
Way too much, pal. A voice said inside my head and I shrugged it off.
Regretting my outburst, I closed my eyes again, struggling to concentrate on breathing in and out.
I was so fixated on it that I didn’t hear her footsteps, and so, needless to say, was surprised when a gently palm caressed my cheek. I opened my eyes and saw Ella standing before me, her eyes burning with so many unknown emotions instead of the collected, distant coldness that I expected.


“You shouldn’t.” she whispered, her voice pained.
Before I knew what was happening, or could start to process her words, her hand cupped my face and a pair of full, plump lips pressed against mine softly …

ELLA

I knew the moment I blurted out the question that my brain-mouth-filter-thingy was off; it must have rusted because of my little act in the ocean.

“Why were you worried, Jake?” I asked, the playful mood between us lightening immediately.
His eyes snapped open.

“Because I care!” he all but yelled at me. He stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes burning, green flames, before he closed them again.
My heart sank. This was the part I was scared of; why I never got close to anybody. Because if I allowed someone to take a look into my life, they would see the stains and the punches, the threats and the tears.
I walked over to him and gently caressed his cheek. His face was chiseled and well cut, and I could fell his stretched and tensed muscles.
He looked at me, surprised.

“You shouldn’t” I choked out in a whisper, unable to contain some of my pain from leaking into my voice and eyes.
I wanted to say so much to him. I wanted to tell him how flattered, but also how devastated I was when he told me that he cared about me, since nobody had said that to me in so long. I wanted to tell him that I cared about him too, so much that it scared me.
So I did the only thing that any sensible girl in my shoes would do.
I kissed him.
He stood , shell shocked for a few seconds , and I admit , I was a little disappointed , but just as I was about to pull back and run like hell from the room , he unfroze.
One of his arms went around to my waist while the other cradled my face as gently as one would a glass flower, as he started to kiss me back.
His lips were smooth and firm as well as warm, loving and gently as they moved against mine, and I lost myself in their feel and all the emotions that they were evoking in me.
For a few seconds, it was just the two of us, the only sound in the room was the whisper of our lips moving in perfect sync, and then the passion kicked in.
Our lips turned heated, urgent against one another as we struggled to get closer to one another, I locked my arms around his neck, pressing my body flush against his, as he licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance.
I didn’t comply at first, and concentrated on just keeping my feet planted to the floor.
And then he nibbled on my bottom lip, and I lost it. I moaned and he took that as an opportunity and pushed his tongue gently into y mouth.
There was an electric sizzle going through my body as his tongue met mine. And they stated an erotic dance.
He tasted, strangely, of pineapple gum and fresh mint, and smelt just like he always did; delicious, mouth watering, hot chocolate.
]we could have stood there , making out for all of eternity , n the exact same position , and I would have died a happy girl , if not for the small glitch that our bodies needed oxygen to function.
He pulled away, and I whimpered immediately at the loss of his amazing lips on mine. But before I could open my mouth and complain, he started his attack on my skin.
He placed a trail of soft, scorching, tingling kisses along my jaw line and down my throat, until he reached my collarbone, all the while murmuring my name huskily.
When he reached the area where my neck met my shoulder, the hand that was cupping my face came forward and pushed my shirt off my shoulder a little so that the whole area was exposed to him.
And then the real torture started … he licked the skin there once before sucking hard; hard enough to make me moan, and gasp and whimper in pressure, but not enough to make my cry out in pain.
He soon started a rhythm that was downright painful to me; he would lick my skin, suck on it hard, and then nibble on the spot, only to lick there again to soothe the light twinge that his loving, playful little bites caused, and then the process started all over again.
He sucked and nibbled and licked there alternatively before continuing his exploration of my throat, neck and face.
By the time he finally reached the soft, extremely ticklish spot at the back of my ear, I was in a puddle.
I was so lost that I didn’t even stop to think about the consequences of what we were – no , what I was doing…there was nothing , no one but him and me – in my mind , everybody else could just go to hell.
Who was this man who’d reduced me to a mush, unable to do anything but moan and gasp in pleasure, and cling on to him for dear life? I wondered as he nibbled on my earlobe gently.
Who was this man who attacked me so unexpectedly, so intensely, on so many fronts?
Before I could find the answer, he thankfully decided that he’d tortured me enough, and moved back to my lips, once again making me obliterate all thoughts.
Somehow, still kissing me, he managed to back me to the bed, and at the last second, he rolled as over so that I fell on top of him, and not the other way around.
Not for long, though. He rolled us again so that he was on top of me, though he held himself carefully so that I felt none of his weight.
Wanting to reciprocate at least a little of what he was doing to me, I freed my hands from where they had tangled into his hair, to the hem of his t-shirt. I tugged on it, and he, knowing my intention, immediately pulled it off, only disconnecting from my lips for a few seconds.
And then I started my little payback.
He shuddered violently and pulled me closer to him as my fingers trailed lightly down his spine , reaching down to stroke the edge of his jeans from where I could just make out the waistband of his boxers, teasingly , before tracing my trail back up.
Revenge is a b****, isn’t it Smith? I smirked inwardly as he let out an almost feral groan at the back of his throat.
But it was all over too soon for my liking.
One second, we were having a very hot and intense make out session on the bed, and the next, the calling buzzer rang, breaking us apart.
Jake let out an inaudible curse as we both panted heavily, out foreheads resting against each other’s.

“Coming!” he yelled, and then got up slowly, detangling our limbs.
He sighed deeply and straightened his sexily ruffled hair, bending down to pick up his shirt.

“Do I look like I was just making out with a very beautiful girl?” he asked me with a smile after pulling on his shirt and taking a few deep breaths , and I shook my head , unable to say a word because my brain was still in recovery. He laughed and gave me a once-over.
“I think you’d better stay here. I’ll call you if you’re needed.” He said, eyes twinkling with amusement and laughter, and I nodded again.
He laughed again, that deep husky, toe-curling laugh of his, before giving me a small, passionate, but gentle kiss, and left to get the door, leaving me yearning for so much more…

JAKE

Grumbling to myself and still a little dazed from what happened a couple of minutes ago, I opened the door, cursing, as well as blessing whoever had disturbed us. But I didn’t expect to see…

“Mom?!” I asked, blinking in confusion
“What are you doing here? I thought you had work back home?”


“I finished it a bit early, so I treated myself with a little vacation.
Now, all that aside, I believe someone wants to talk to you.” She said with a smile, and from behind her, lance came out.

“Hi Mr. Smith. Is Ella inside? Can I speak to her?” he asked in a low voice.


“She’s sleeping, so no, you can’t talk to her.” I said suspiciously. If Ella didn’t trust him, I didn’t either.


“Oh…I just wanted to apologize…” he said in a dejected tone.


“Apologize? Why would you apologize? You should only thank her, right?” I frowned.


“Um…no, not exactly…” he dragged, looking at the floor.
“My…uh…my friends and I …we, um, we kind of dropped Ella in the water…as a kind of a joke”


“And why would you do that?” I asked in an eerily calm voice.


“Well , ella and I know each other from…from before , and back then , she didn’t know how to swim…she was afraid of the water…” he admitted , hanging his head in shame.


“You knew she couldn’t swim and yet you dropped her in the water?” I asked my voice no longer calm as I glared daggers at him.


“Yeah, but…like I said, it was just a joke…the water wasn’t even deep there, and there were about 5 of us…I thought nothing would happen…I’m so sorry…” he half whispered, and I realized that the kid was already punishing himself with guilt…but that didn’t mean that what he did was right, and I wasn’t going to let him off the hook just because he was sorry.
Thankfully, before I could do something crazy, or stupid, or probably both, my mom stepped in.


“Lance, Ella’s sleeping, so why don’t you come back later? Or tomorrow morning?” she cut in smoothly, probably sensing that I was moments from blowing a gasket. Lance nodded quietly, still looking at the ground, and left.
“Ella’s not really sleeping, is she?” mom sighed, and I shook my head.
“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow” she said, gave me a knowing glance, and left…


“Who was that?” Ella asked as I walked in.
God, she looked delicious.
Her lips were swollen and pink from my kisses and her beautiful, normally pale face was flushed with color. I could already see a hickey forming in her neck where I’d nibbled and sucked on her delectable skin. But the highlight was her eyes.
The normally dormant grey orbs were scorching and had a glint to them that I’d never seen before, and I was damn proud that I was the one who had brought all these changes about her.

“My mom and lance” I said, shaking my head slightly to ward off the dangerous thoughts.



“Lance? What did he want?” Ella asked, surprised and even a little afraid.



“He wanted to apologize…” I accused, but she showed no emotion, but a flicker of surprise flashed in her eyes.
There was an awkward silence for about a minute with her studying her toes and me studying her.
And then we both started talking at the exact same moment.

“Ella-“
“Jake-“
I held out a hand, indicating her to go first.

“Yeah listen…about what happened back there…I’m sorry” she stuttered.


“Well, I’m not!” I said, surprised and a little hurt.


“What?” she asked, confused, her eyes meeting mine.


“I’m not sorry, Ella. I kissed you because I wanted to, not because I was…I was caught up in the moment or something!”



“No, No, No…you shouldn’t! You should be sorry! What happened…it was…it was…” she stuttered again, pacing the room and breathing hard.


“What was it, Ella? A glitch in your self control? In your perfect world where you don’t feel anything?” I scoffed, my anger building up again, and as soon as the words left my mouth, her pacing stopped and her eyes turned to meet mine, burning embers.

“You know nothing about me…” she seethed.


“Don’t I? On the contrary, Ella, I know almost everything there is to know about you.
I know that what I’m seeing right now…the person who I’m talking to right now is the real Rochelle Rogers ; I know that the front you put up for everyone to see is a fake – a front for what , however , I don’t know.
I know that you believe you have to be perfect and that’s why you act like a zombie; a cold, unfeeling, uncaring creature who just drifts through life. I know that you act that way because you’re scared! You’re scared of what’ll happen if you let yourself feel; if you show your real self to someone.
But you know what? I don’t by your bull anymore. I‘ve seen the real Ella, and I’m not letting her go.” I snapped and I could practically sense the tension and anger in the room as we glared at each other.

“Well, then, that’s just too unfortunate, because she’s not yours to hold on to” she said in a clod voice.
And just like that, she left…


I was officially starting to freak out. It had been almost 6 hours since our fight; 6 hours since she’d left, and she still hadn’t come back.
I hadn’t gone out to search for her because I was afraid that she didn’t have the key card and wouldn’t be able to come in if she wanted to, but to hell with it. I was more worried that something was going to happen to her that her coming and waiting outside the suite, so I put on my coat.

“Ella?” I blinked as I stepped outside and locked the door. She was sitting, or rather, slumped, against the wall with her head in her hands, just inches from the door.

“Hey, Mr. Smith” she mumbled, still not changing her posture.


“How long have you been sitting like this?” I asked, shocked.


“Um…about 2 hours?” she asked, finally lifting her head and looking at me.


“2 hours?! Why?” I asked incredulously.


“I was afraid to come in” she slurred.


“Ella, I was pacing the room, racking my head with worry, when you-wait, are you drunk!??” I asked, stunned and she nodded with a lopsided grin. I noticed for the first time how she dimpled cutely when she smiled.
Shaking my head to distract myself (I seemed to be doing that a lot around Ella, didn’t I?) I focused my attention on much more important things, namely, the girl sitting in front of me, trying to see the tip of her nose.
Her eyes were unfocused and her words were slurred, but as much as I preferred this free, always smiling Ella to the other one, I had to get her out of the hallway before anyone else could stumble upon us.

“Ella, stand up…” I said, taking control.


“Why? We going out?” she asked, frowning cutely, and then suddenly breaking out into a megawatt smile, squealing,
“Jake, are you going to buy me ice-cream?”


“Oh, never mind” I muttered as I looked around once, unlocked the door, and quickly scooped down to pick her up in my arms.


“Jake, can I tell you-no, whoops, that’s not right, is it? Its…it’s…yeah! Jake, may I tell you something?” she asked very seriously.
Great, she was slam drunk and still managed to speak perfect English?

“Sure Ella…what is it?” I asked nicely.


“I’m drunk!” she giggled and clapped her hands like a little girl.


“Really? I never would’ve guessed” I exclaimed, rolling my eyes as I carried her into the bathroom.


“I know, right? I’m such a genius!” she squealed.
“Jake, may I tell you something else?” she asked again, and I simply nodded, preoccupied as I set her down on the floor and searched the shelves...

“I think I’m going to –“she said cheerily, but before she could finish, threw up.
Thankfully, already having anticipated it, I’d placed her right in front of the toilet, so no damage was done to the floors.


“Geez, Ella, how much did you drink?” I asked, worried, as I held her hair up and rubbed her back, just as I had done that first day in my house.


“I don’t know I stopped counting after 9” she admitted as she held up 10 fingers.
After she finished, I carried her to the bed.


“Here, drink” I ordered with a stern face as I handed her a couple of Valium and a glass of water. She obeyed immediately and looked up at me expectedly after handing me the glass.
“Good girl” I smiled, and she almost cooed and glowed with pride.
“Now, since you’re too intoxicated to do anything else, I want you to lie down and sleep”


“OK, but will you please sleep with me?” she asked.


“Why?” I asked, suspicious.


“I’m scared to sleep alone.’ She pouted and I hesitated.
“Please, Jake? Pleeeeeeeaaaaassssssse? Pretty please with a cherry on top of whipped caramel cream and waffles?” she begged, putting on her puppy dog eyes, and damn it worked.


“Fine. Get ready. I’ll be back in a few minutes” I sighed
When I came back to her room, she was in her bed, lying down with the covers drawn right up to her chin.
Thinking she was asleep and not wanting to disturb her, I quietly slipped in, but no sooner than I had, she rolled over and snuggled into my chest comfortable...

“G’night Jake” she mumbled sleepily, her head resting against my chest.


“Good night , Ella” I replied with a sigh , wrapped my arm around her waist , and closed my eyes , reminding myself to never , ever let ella drink…

ELLA



I woke up feeling incredibly safe and content – something that I hadn’t felt in years. I also woke up to a killer headache.

I tried moving, but realize that weight was over my legs and waist

I slowly turned around to see that Jake and I had been spooning.

He was asleep, from the looks of it. He looked so peaceful in his sleep.

As I lay there quietly , staring at him , the events of the previous day flooded back ; the saving , the kissing , the fighting ,the drinking , and even the vomiting. It was hard to believe that I was the one who had done all of it.

But it was all Jake’s fault though. He always seemed to bring out the best and the worst in me.



“I’m starting to feel a bit violated” he said in a hoarse voice, breaking me out of my trance, and making me nearly jump out of my skin.



“What the hell, Jake! You gave me a heart attack” I accused, clutching my chest and trying to slow my heartbeat down.







“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.” He said, letting out a yawn.





“How long have you been awake?”





“An hour or so”





“An hour? You could’ve woken me” I accused.





“Nah…you looked so peaceful. I didn’t have the heart to do it.” He shrugged casually, running a hand through his hair, and I stared, surprised.






“Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you” I mused.





“So you weren’t checking me out?” he asked with an arrogant smirk.





“Oh, Please. Don’t flatter yourself. Besides, you’re not even my type” I retorted, quoting him.





“Really? You sure about that? He taunted a lazy smirk on his lips.





“Pretty sure, why?”





“Coz it didn’t seem like that yesterday…But what do I know? Forgive me if I’m mistaken” he said, grinning evilly, and I smacked his arm, blushing.

We lay like that for a little while, still spooning, while Jake fingers trailed patterns on my skin absentmindedly.



“Ella, I want to show you something” he started, breaking my thoughts on how perfectly angled and chiseled his face was.

He removed his arm around my waist, rolled around and stood up, and I immediately felt the loss of his warmth.



“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I never talk about my parents or my past in general, especially about my father.” He said, and I nodded, sitting up too.

He took a deep breath, and then took off his shirt.

I didn’t understand at first, but then the sun fell properly on him, and I gasped.



“Jake! Jake, what happened?” I choked as I looked at his body, unable to tear my eyes off him.

I didn’t know how I didn’t notice it yesterday, I was probably caught up in the moment, but this…this was…



“My father and mother got a divorce when I was 7. They asked me, at the court, who I wanted to be with, and I didn’t know better. I chose my dad, because I’d always liked him better, even though my mother was begging me not to. I chose him because he was my hero, the one who I’d always looked up to.

What I didn’t know then, was the reason they were filing a divorced\ in the first place…” he sighed, sitting down next to me.





“He had an affair…” I realized.





“Oh, no, you see, that was the problem. He was having an affair. She even came to court with him.

So I chose my father, I moved in with him, and everything was ok for a while. We- Daisy – she was the other woman – and I even got along pretty well, she was nothing like the cruel stepmothers in fairytales.” He smiled.

“And then it started…the drinking and the beating…” he said, his eyes far off and his tone better.

Scars…his whole torso were covered in marks- burn marks, whip marks, and even some stitches.



I hooked my arm into his and brought him closer to provide him with some semblance of comfort.

“He came home, drunk and sometimes even high, and beat me every night. His reason was that I reminded him of my mother too much…” he said, and I nodded…Jake did take after his mother a lot…

“And I bore it all. I didn’t utter a word to anyone, not to Daisy or my friends at school or even my mom, because I didn’t know how to, I didn’t know that there was help available, and in my mom’s case…because I was too proud…” he sighed softly.

“It was mostly cigarette snubs and baseball bats and shoe heels, but I couldn’t hide it very well. Daisy found me one day, crying, hiding under my bed after a particularly hard beating – he had used whips for the first time.

She asked me what was wrong and I don’t tell her, not even then, but she must have guessed some of it, though, because she started to make sure that she was home every day before I was and went to bed after my father did…it worked for a while, because my father…I think he really loved her in some way, and don’t want her to see what was happening.

It worked for a while, maybe a few months, before he started getting secretive…” Jake said sadly, and my breath hitched as I imagined a little 8 yr old boy hiding under the bed every night, alone and scared.

“He started waking up at midnight, when daisy was asleep, and the abuse continued. It went on for years; I acting like it was all ok. Finally, when I was 14, I’d had enough. I was mature enough to understand that I wasn’t the one at fault , and that what he was doing wasn’t alright…because that’s what stopped me from speaking up…I’d actually thought for all those years that it was genuinely my fault and that I deserved it…
“He shook his head in shame.

“Anyway…once I had realized that there were people who could actually help me , I stood up for myself…I grew the guts to yell back at him…there was a huge fighting match , and I still remember every single word…” he said , with a small , mirthless laugh.

“After I had finished giving him a piece of my mind, I stormed away from there and bunked at a friend’s place. A couple of days later, Daisy came for me. She was quiet for the whole ride back home, and I knew that something was wrong…I was right.

When I entered the house, everything was in pieces, and those that couldn’t be broken were strewed on the floor. The cops and the medics were there as well.

My father…he was dead. He’d taken an overdose of heroin…” he finished in an emotionless voice, and there was a small pause while his fingers resumed trading patterns on my back.

“Well, after that , my mom won custody over me saying that I’d be safer with her than Daisy , who wasn’t even related to me , and daisy readily handed me over ; she knew that she couldn’t raise me on my own , and that I needed a brae from all of it.

We moved towns and came here, but I didn’t want to be around anyone I knew for a while, so I opted to go to a boarding school…probably why you haven’t heard of me or seen me around before…” he added.





“What about Daisy?” I asked in a coarse voice, feeling stick to my stomach.





“She’s fine. We talk at least twice a month. We became fast friends, and last I heard of her, she was married and apparently getting pretty big too…Man, you should hear her whine about the woes f pregnancy for a whole hour…” he laughed really this time, and again, there was a small silence.





“You haven’t told anyone. About what he did to you…” I said in a cautious voice, not aware of whether we were treading eggshells or not, but he smiled at me, telling me that we were ok.





“Yes…”he agreed.

“I haven’t. You’re the first to hear my sob story” he joked.





“Then why did you tell me?” I asked, and he hesitated a bit before answering.





“Three reasons. First, because I was so tired of keeping it all to myself. Second, I wanted to tell you.”





“And the third?” I asked.





“Well, I realized that I haven’t really done anything to make you trust me, so I thought that this would be a good start.” He shrugged as though it was no big deal.





“Jake, I trust you more than I trust anyone else. Why can’t you see that?” I sighed and he just shrugged again.

There was a long silence, during which he continued his tracing on my skin m before I couldn’t take it anymore.







“She’s my sister” I blurted out…

JAKE



“She’s my sister” Ella said and I looked at her , surprised..

“The little girl you saw at the park ; she’s Claire , my sister” she said in a more composed tone.





“Ella , you don’t have to tell me anything just because you feel obligated to” I said , holding up one hand.





“I don’t know my actual birth parents. I spent the first 5 years of my life in an orphanage and the next five being tossed around 8 different foster homes.” She continued, ignoring my offer, and I froze, surprised. She just smiled at me and continued.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rogers were my 9th set of foster parents. I came to Juneau when I was 11, with my new ‘parents’

I used to be a pretty quiet and shy kid, because of how I’d grown up, so naturally, I never really talk to anyone. That all changed when I came to Juneau…” she said with a smile on her face, looking as if she was far away from here.

“One very important thing I learnt was that when Steve Rogers set his mind to something, nothing could stop him.

During the first 3 months , both Steve and Helen tried to get me to open up and talk to them , trying to make me feel as comfortable and welcome as possible , but I never reciprocated , and Helen gave up , after a while , but not , Steve , no…

He kept on pestering me until I finally succumbed, and we became very good friends. But he gave me one, very important gift, though…”





“…writing…” I finished for her, and she smiled wider at me.





“Have you ever heard the phrase that a dad is every son’s first hero and every daughter’s first love?

He was mine. He drew me in with his passion for English, and generally for life. You remind me a lot of him; actually…you have the same drive he had... I think I told you once.” She said and smiled.

“Helen got pregnant with Claire when I was 12 and I couldn’t have been more delighted. I would finally have the loving family I’d always wished for.

It wasn’t that when she was born , she was given more attention and I was neglected , no. We were both my dad’s ‘little angels’ as he called us.

I think that’s what ignited something in Helen. Ever since Claire’s birth , Helen started getting more and more distant and cold towards the 3 of us , especially me. She hadn’t really been that fond of me since it was my dad’s idea to foster me and not hers , but then she just stated downright loathing me with a passion that I couldn’t understand then.

And another thing that might’ve fueled her anger – Steve adopted me legally on my 12th birthday.

The fights started when Claire was about a year old.” She said , her smile fading and her eyes darkening.

“She started embarrassing dad any chance she got , and she started showing neglect towards Claire as well. It was I who fed Claire and dressed her and took her for walks when dad was busy making a living for us. I who practically became Claire’s mom. I even remember that Claire’s first word was ‘Shelley’ “ she said , smiling briefly , and I understood her hatred towards anyone who called her that except her sister.

“Calire still gets nightmares from back when they used to fight with each other. I tried my best to keep her away and occupied while they were at it , but I couldn’t keep out the things that she saw and heard …dad and I lied through our teeth for her , we tried our best , answering her questions about why mommy wasn’t there for her second birthday , to protect her from Helen’s wrath…” she said sadly , and I , sensing her distress , put an arm around her and drew her to me , mush as she had earlier. There was a small pause.





“Why isn’t Claire living with you guys?” I asked in a very soft voice.





“Well , my dad passed away when Claire was two and I was fifteen … food poisoning. The day after my dad’s funeral , Jack , my stepfather , moved in. Dad and I had suspected that Helen had been having an affair , and we were right. About a month after dad’s funeral , Helen remarried , and I became scared.

I didn’t like Jack…he was just creepy , and I knew that Helen’s abuse was going to get worse and that I couldn’t protect Claire…” she said , and then took a deep breath.

“So I staged a little drama about how Helen was an abusive parent and Claire wouldn’t be safe in this environment. I contacted Social Services , and they took Claire away to foster care…It was to protect her…I didn’t know what else to do…” she whispered , choking slightly on her voice , and I tightened my hold around her , rubbing soothing circles on her back .After a while , she composed herself enough to speak again.

“You’re wondering why Helen kept me , right?” she asked and continued even before I could respond.

“My dad was very rich , and a couple of weeks before my dad died , he changed his will , leaving everything to me and not even a penny for Helen. The will stated that only if I was taken in by Helen if anything should happen to him , and cared for till my 18th birthday , Helen would get a small portion of his money. He didn’t include Claire , luckily , or I wouldn’t have been able to save her…” she shuddered.

“So Helen took me in grudgingly as my guardian so she could milk me for all y worth.

I was miserable for a while , until he started paying me attention…Jack…” she trailed off , and immediately , I understood.





“S***! Did he do anything to you?” I demanded , paling , and to my astonishment , she laughed.





“No , not exactly. He’s waiting for me to turn 18…No , Jack would never hurt me…at least , not the way Helen does…” she said , shaking her head ruefully , and I froze.





“The bruises…that day when you came to my house…” I whispered in horror , reliving that day…





“Yeah , that was Helen…”she admitted





“Ella , I know that I have absolutely no right to say this , but you’ve got to tell somebody , about Helen , and about Jack too. Please don’t make the same mistake I did , Ella…” I begged .





“I can’t , Jake” she said sadly.





“Why not? What are you waiting for? You should’ve talked to somebody the first time they touched you!” I exclaimed , and her eyes narrowed.





“OK , what , Jake? What happens if I tell on them? They’ll put me in foster care too.! And who would take on a soon-to-be 18 yr. old?

And Claire? I can’t afford to lose Claire , Jake. However cruel and vile Jack might be , he still allows me to go and see Claire once in 2 months , which Helen doesn’t know about. She’s the only reason I’m putting up with all this” she pleaded and I groaned.

“But don’t worry. I have a plan. I have some money saved up , and unknown to Helen , dad also started a trust fund under Claire’s name which only I , and Claire when she turns 18 ,can access. I’m taking her and running the moment I graduate , which is only 2 months away. I’ve waited 3 yrs , Jake. I won’t let it all go to waste.” She soothed , and my heart clenched when she said that she was leaving in 2 months. What would I do then? I couldn’t just let her go.

I knew that teacher-student relationships were illegal , but I’d thought that we could maybe date after she graduates and is no longer my student.

But that was for another time…this was the present , and Ella looked like she was waiting for some kind of answer from me , so I sighed and nodded.

We sat in comfortable silence again before Ella spoke again to lighten the situation.



“So…what do you think of my sob story?” she asked with a smile , and I relaxed when I realized that I was worrying her..







“All I can say is that we’re a really screwed up pair…perfect for each other…” I said , not joking about the last part , because I was sincerely hoping with all mu heart that she’d realize that…

JAKE



The plane ride back home was silent-not the awkward silence , but the quiet , enjoyable kind , and the best part? Ella was holding my hand throughout the ride , letting go only when we landed , for fear of anyone seeing.



“Ella? Do you need a ride home?” I asked as we came out of the airport.





“Um , no , I’m not going home right away.” She said , looking torn , biting those lips , whose sweetness i still remembered.





“What? Why not? Where are you going then?” I asked , surprised.





“I’m going to see Claire. It’s her birthday today.”





“But won’t Helen and Jack be angry?”





“No , they don’t know. I called and told them that the plane was delayed by 2 hours and that I’d come home on my own.” She admitted.





“Well , in that case , can I come too? I really want to meet her” I asked , excited.





“Sure , why not?” …





“happy birthday Claire-bear!” Ella squealed , hugging the little one.

It was weird seeing ella this way. When she was with Claire , it was as if she was a whole new person , with no secrets , no walls , no boundaries , no worries…



“Shelly , don’t call me Claire-bear! I’m a big girl now! I’m 5 yrs old now!” Claire whined , holding up 5 chubby little fingers , and Ella laughed.





“Even if you turn 40 , you’ll still be my Claire –bear” ella said , rubbing their noses together lovingly.

“Now , I want you to meet someone. He’s a…very special friend of mine” ella said , turning towards me.

The 5 yr old scrutinized me with those small blue eyes of hers for a long minute , before breaking out into a wide smile.





“Hi! My name is Claire! What’s yours?” she chirped , wriggling in Ella’s arms , signaling that she wanted to be put down. When ella obliged , she ran to me.





“HI! My name is Jacob!” I replied just as enthusiastically as I lifted her up.





“Can I – no! oops , sorry Shelley! It’s may , isn’t it?” Claire stopped midsentence , smacking her head and turning to ella with a sheepish smile as she realized , quite surprisingly , that she’d made a grammatical error. Ella nodded with an amused smile and an approving grin , and Claire turned to me again , beaming at her sister’s approval.

“So….May I call you Jake , Jake?” Claire enquired , and I laughed at her cuteness.







“Only if I get to call you Claire-bear!” I teased , and after that , the evening was full of giggles and happiness , with no hint of the ugly pasts that we had hanging on our shoulders.




“Well…that went surprisingly well” ella mused as I pulled up 2 blocks away from her house.





“Why was it surprising?”






“Claire isn’t usually good with newcomers. She has this fear of talking to new people. The only other person she warmed up to immediately was Lilith” ella said. She’d explained to me earlier that Lilith Byers was Claire’s foster parent.





“What can I say? After all , I am know to be a ladies’ man” I gloated , air fanning myself and fluttering my eyelashes.





“Yeah , yeah. Whatever floats your boat” ella waved me off with a roll of her eyes.

“Thanks for the ride…and…thanks for listening . I’ve got to go. I’ll see you in 2 weeks?” she asked with a hesitant smile , and I felt a pang in my chest at the thought of leaving her alone for a whole 2 weeks. After hearing what had happened to her , I just wanted to hold her tight in my arms , kiss her pain away , and never let her go.





“Ella , will you do something for me if I asked you to?”





“That depends.” She answered.





“On?”





“On what , why and how you ask me” she said , one eyebrow raised. Without answering , I reached into my pocket and brought out my last minute purchase in the airport.

“what’s this for?” she asked , taking the cell phone from my outstretched palm.





“I want you to call me while I’m gone. At least 5 times a day.” I said solemnly , and she shook her head stubbornly.

“Ella , please. I need to know that you’re ok” I begged.





“No. I can’t Jake. Imagine what would happen if one of them found it” she said , panicking.





“Put it on silent , hide it , lie-anything! Please , Ella. I’ll go mad”





“Even if I did , I can’t afford to pay the bills , Jake” she said , embarrassed , dropping her gaze , but I couldn’t live without seeing those beautiful eyes of hers. I tipped her chin up gently and coaxed her to look at me.





“Hey…don’t hide those beautiful eyes from me…and you need not be embarrassed about anything , ever , with me. The last thing I’m going to do is judge you , understand?” I murmured softly , and she nodded , blushing slightly.

“Now about the affordability…don’t worry about that part. I’ll take care of it. Think of it as a loan. I promise , I’ll even let you pay me back , if you want that” I assured her , adding the last part when she opened her mouth to protest.

“Just…just take it…please” I pleaded , not above falling at her feet and groveling if it came to that.





“Fine. But 5 times a day is too much. I’ll settle for once” she argued with a sigh.





“Four”





“Two”





“Three”





“Deal” she sighed.





“thank you ! you have no idea how much this means to me” I said , relieved.

“So you’ll call me once in the morning , noon and before you go to bed , right? And 3 times is just the minimum. If you need me , just call. I don’t care what the time is. Ok?”





“Yeah. You’re sure you’ll be back in 2 weeks?” she asked , just as she’d been asking me the past 12 hours.





“I promise . I’ll even try to get home earlier , if possible.” I assured her , and then remembered.

“Oh , I almost forgot. Mom wants you over for dinner before break is over” I informed her , and she paled slightly.





“What , meeting the parents so quickly?” she tried to make a joke out of it , but I could see the nervousness underneath.

“I’ll see what I can do.” She said , and I nodded and smiled.



“OK , I’ve got to go. Bye.” She sighed , gave me a tight hug and a small peck (on the cheek) and left , and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep properly for the next 2 weeks…

ELLA



I straightened my dress out nervously as I stood at the doorstep and rang the bell. I didn’t know what possessed me to agree to this dinner , but whatever it was , it had gotten me to lie through my teeth to Helen and Jack , put on a dress , and I mean and actual dress , and carry me across 8 blocks.

“You’ve come this far , just woman up and face it , Rochelle. Just ring the damn doorbell!” I scolded my self under my breath , and then , after bracing myself , reached out with a shaky hand and rang the doorbell.

Almost immediately , the door flew open , and I was pulled into a tight hug.



“Ella!” Jake breathed , lifting me off my feet and swinging me around in his enthusiasm , and I laughed , my nerves temporarily vanished , coz Jake had that calming effect on me.





“Jacob! Put me down!” I fake scolded , and he obliged , only to smash his lips to mine gently . He pulled away after a very long minute , making me feel disoriented and a bit dizzy.





“Ella! I missed you so much!” he breathed , resting his forehead against mine , breathing just as heavily as I was , and I smiled weakly.

“I nearly went out of mind , not knowing if you were ok” he admitted m burying his face in the crook of my neck and nibbling slightly on the hickey that was barely there , making me squeal and jump in surprise.





“Jake! There are neighbors!” I squealed , even though I was panting slightly , and he looked up slowly , with a self satisfied smirk on his face.





“Yeah , nice to hear you’ve missed me too” he retorted sarcastically.







“Nah , I actually didn’t , because , you know , I was busy and all…” I teased , and he tensed immediately.





“S***! I forgot! Is everything ok back home?” he demanded , looking me over , checking me for bruises.





“Calm down , Jake. Everything is fine” I pacified him , kicking myself internally for ruining such a sweet moment.





“You’re sure?” he asked , his sharp gaze piercing mine , and I nodded , rubbing my wrist absentmindedly.

Everything was not ok , actually. 2 nights ago , Helen had twisted my wrist for not making breakfast on time , leaving a huge bruise , but I couldn’t tell Jake that , could I ? so I’d put on a large bracelet that both matched my dress as well as covered the purple bruise.



“OK , then come on…let’s go inside. You look absolutely beautiful , by the way” he informed me , before giving me a quick peck , and a heart stopping smile , and leading me inside.





“Ella! It’s been so long!” Ms. Roberts exclaimed in joy as she came around from the table. Jake subtly dropped the tight hold he had on my waist , because we couldn’t really go and tell his mother that we’d had quite a make out session back in Florida , and that we were now sort of together , could we?





“Hi , Ms. Roberts! These are for you” I smiled , handing her the bunch of beautiful tulips that I’d bought on my way here.





“Oh , they’re beautiful! Thank you dear! And just call me Violet , will you?” she grinned , pulling me into a hug.



We chatted , making small talk for a while before dinner was ready . Violet threw an absolute fit when I offered to set the table , and almost led Jake by the ear to the table and demand him to set it , all the while muttering about how chivalry was lost among young men nowadays.



“How’s school , dear? I’m so sorry that I haven’t been able to contact you , but you seem so busy.” She apologized.





“School is fine , Violet , no worries. And thank you for insisting that I take lessons with Jake. It’s helped me a lot” I smiled , and Jake grinned. Violet , however , looked at me keenly with her forest green eyes for a what seemed like a long time , before nodding.





“Yes , I can see how it’s helped” she said in a cryptic tone , and for the first time , I noticed how her eyes flashed just like Jake’s whenever she was angry or emotional , or , in this case , when she was hiding something.

Halfway through our meal (of spaghetti and meatballs , garlic bread , onion rings , and cheese balls) , Jake spoke up.



“Ella , will you please me the sauce , please?” he asked , and I was confused. The bottle was across from me , and certainly closer to Violet than it was to me , and yet he was asking me? But I just shrugged , and when I reached my hand out across the table , realized what his ply was ,and how easily I’d fallen for it.



“Ella , honey! What happened?” Violet gasped.

While I had reached across the table , the bracelet had moved , revealing the bruise underneath.





“It’s nothing , Violet. I just twisted my wrist “ I lied through my teeth smoothly , thankful that she hadn’t noticed the 5 fingerprints as clear as day , which were on the underside of my wrist.

I looked across the table , and saw that Jake had paled , and was sitting rigidly , his fingers clenching his fork and spoon so hard that they were white. However , I couldn’t see his eyes , because he had them tightly closed , and seemed to be breathing heavily. I was sure , though , that they would be blazing, burning , green flames , just like they had that night in the hotel room , except this time , it would be out of fury and not desire.



“You should be more careful , dear. Do you want some cream for it? It looks bad” she offered , brows knitting together in worry and concern.

“Oh , no thank you , it’s fine. It doesn’t even hurt” I lied , and suddenly , there was a bang , and I almost jumped out of my skin , to see that Jake was standing , the spoon and fork abandoned , fists clenched , eyes still closed.



“Please excuse me.” He murmured , and stormed away , up the stairs.





“It’s ok. Go after him” Violet said with an twinkle in her eyes , and I nodded thankfully , excused myself , and hurriedly ran up the stairs…





He was standing out in the balcony , looking down , his back to me.



“Jake?” I asked timidly , my voice slightly shaky, as I cautiously stepped toward him. When he didn’t respond , I walked forward and hugged him from behind , throwing my arms around his waist.

“Jake , I’m so sorry. I didn’t tell you because I knew this was exactly how you’d react. I didn’t want you to worry. It’s nothing.” I said in a small voice , feeling incredibly guilty , and he snapped.

He turned around , and took my hand in both of his.



“NOTHING? NOTHING? Ella , look at this!” he exclaimed , his voice strained , and I was right. His eyes were burning with fury , so much that I flinched .

He must have sensed that I was afraid , because he calmed his voice down with visible effort.



“Ella , there was a reason why I gave you that phone and practically begged you to call me every day. This is it!” he said impatiently , voice low but pained , which made me feel even more guilty .





“I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me” I begged , tears trickling down my face , and he softened. His rigid posture relaxed , and he crushed me to his chest. I sniffed and meshed myself to him , burying my face in his chest , taking in deep breaths.

He , however , seemed to be doing the same thing as he buried his face in my hair and breathed deeply , and with every breath , relaxed some more.



“Ella , I ‘m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you…” he sighed.

“I’m more mad at myself…mad that I can’t protect you” he admitted , twirling a piece of mu hair with his fingers.





“Don’t be…it’s not your fault. “ I assured him.





“Ella , you shouldn’t have hid this from me. It tells me that you don’t trust me , and I want you to be able to do that. I want you to be able to trust me with your deepest fears , your darkest secrets , with your life , and it hurts that you don’t.” he said.





“No , Jake. I trust you more than I trust anyone else , how many times do I have to tell you that?” I demanded.

“I just didn’t want you to worry. It’s not a matter of trust” I assured him.

“If it makes you feel better , I promise that I’ll tell you the next time” I added , and then kicked myself when I realized what I’d said , and he froze.





“Ella , there shouldn’t be a next time! There won’t be” he said in a pained voice .





“I know , I know. I’m sorry I said that…” I immediately pacified him by rubbing circles on his back.

“I was just saying that I’d trust you enough to tell you if there is a next time” I explained , and he relaxed a bit.

There was a bit of silence as I enjoyed being in his arms , and he played with my hair. Then , with a deep sigh that sounded like it was coming from someone older than his years , he pulled away.



“I’m sorry. I was mean” he apologized , and then took my wrist.

“Does it hurt? Tell me the truth” he asked , adding the last part as I opened my mouth to lie again , and it was my turn to sigh.





“The truth?” I asked , and he nodded , tracing the fingerprints gently , so gently that I could barely feel it.

“Yeah , it does. It throbs like a b****” I admitted , and he tensed again.





“I should kill all of them…Hell , I want to kill them” he muttered , shaking his head.





“Let’s go inside , shall we? Violets probably wondering where we are.” I stepped in smoothly before she could get all upset and blow a casket.

He nodded , but when I turned away , he caught my waist , and pulled me to him , surprising me with a scorching kiss.



“There won’t be a next time” he muttered , as if to assure himself , and I didn’t reply , knowing that he was wrong , and that there was nothing he could do about it…





“Good afternoon , guys . long time , no see” Jake greeted everyone cheerfully on the first day of school . They all returned it , and exchanged small talk and jokes while I tuned out.

Ever since that dinner incident , something had changed about Jake. He took it upon himself to check me every time he saw me , (which was mostly every day , don’t ask me how I managed it) , and was ever vigilant and possessive….not that I didn’t like it…it was cute , watching him get possessive over me , and it showed me that he really , truly , cared about my wellbeing , no matter how much he tried to assure me of the same.

“Ella?” Jake called and I jumped in my seat , blinking.





“Mr. Smith?” I asked , confused. To his irritation , I insisted on calling him by his surname when we were in public.





“Tell me Ella , what did you do over the break>” he asked , and I saw the mischievous glint in his eyes.

Oh , so he wanted to tease me , did he? Well , so be it then…I’d respond in kind.



“Oh , nothing much , Mr. Smith. Because you see , my boyfriend , being an overprotective , overbearing , megalomanical jerk , didn’t let me do anything without him” I replied with a smirk , and he visible choked on his own saliva , probably In shock that I was finally talking back.





“Boy friend , huh? Any chance that I might know him?” he asked wryly , but before I could answer , I was interrupted by Mallory.





“Never mind her , Jake. She doesn’t have a life , and I bet she’s lying anyway” she all but purred , and I was disgusted as she leaned forward , clearly trying to show her cleavage to Jake , which was going to be quite easy as she was wearing next to nothing , and as Jake was standing directly in front of her .This fueled my anger. How dare she pull the moves on my man?!





“Oh yeah? Tell me , Malory , what makes you think that?” I asked in a sickly sweet voice , and narrowed eyes , and I could see Jake stiffen out of the corner of my eye , as well as almost all my classmates. All of them were probably accustomed to seeing the meek , timid Ella , but I wasn’t that anymore. Florida had really changed me ; awoken my fighter spirits.





“Well , how about the fact that none of the boys in this town are blind , Shelley?” Malory taunted , and I saw red. No one except Claire was allowed to call me that. No One.

However , before I could respond in kind , Jake stepped in.



“Ella , sit down! Malory , you will call me either Jake or Mr. Smith! “ he ordered in a stern voice , and Malory obliged grudgingly , pouting , while I just rolled my eyes , immensely glad that Jake hadn’t fallen for her advances.

Only when I sat down and Jake began his boring lesson did I realize something that I’d missed in the heat of the moment…



I just called him my man!

ELLA



A stinging pain hit the back of my head as I was getting ready to go to school. I let out a scream and

Turned around, clutching my head, to see Helen holding a baseball bat in her hand and a satisfied smirk on her face.

“That was for lying to me!”





“I didn’t!” I protested, and she struck again, this time at my ar.





“And that was for talking back to me” she informed me as I cried out in pain.

“Did you really think that you could get away with lying to me? I know that your flight wasn’t late! Where did you go? Who did you sleep with?” she screeched, a maniacal glint in her eye as I fell to the floor in pain.

“Where di you go?” she shouted again, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.





“I went to see you daughter because it was her birthday!” I yelled right back , and she froze.





“C-Claire?” she stuttered





“Yes! Claire , your daughter , who just turned 5! Do you even remember that you have a daughter?” I asked and she stared at me , face pale , eyes wide.

Before she could open her mouth , though , we were interrupted.





“What the hell is all this noise? I couldn’t-“ he thundered , coming down the stairs m but stopped short when he saw the scene before him.





“Ella , go back to your room and change. You’re not going to school today. Helen , come with me” he said after a minute where everyone stared at everyone else , and stirred Helen away.

I slowly crawled up the stairs , to my room , wishing more than anything that Jake was there with me , to bring me into the cocoon of his comforting arms. And so , not caring for the consequences of disobeying, headed out to the place where I could find him…





It took every ounce of effort I had to drag myself to school. My head felt like it would split open any minute and my arm was throbbing like crazy.

I mean , this was too much , even for her. For one , she had never used a bat before , and for another , she had never hit my head quite this hard. And the way she’d just frozen and stared at me when I mentioned Claire – plain creepy.



“Ow , careful , Ella” a terribly familiar voice sounded as I bumped into a wall of pure muscle. Hands gripped my elbows to stop my fall , and I blinked up at him.

“Ella? Are you ok?” he asked , concerned , and I jerked away from him angrily.





“Stay away from me!” I spat , taking a step away from , and my head wobbled.





“I’m sorry , Ella. I just wanted to apologize and thank you” he said , holding his arms halfway up as a kind of a peace gesture.





“You’re not forgiven , Lance. Now move out of my way” I said and pushed past him , my numb and worried mind not registering the look of pain and hurt across his face.





“Whoa! Where’s the fire , Ella?” another familiar voice said , and I almost fainted with relief when I saw him standing just outside his classroom.





“Jake!” I breathed , and quickly pushed him into the classroom , locking the door behind me.

Then I wrapped my arms around him , burrowing nicely in his warmth.





“Ella , what’s wrong?” he asked , concerned as one arm went around my waist and the other stroked my hair gently. I winced slightly as his hand passed over my wound , and he must have felt the growing bump , because his whole body froze.

“Crap , Ella , what the hell happened?” he demanded , pulling me away from his body to look into my eyes , his hand hovering over the bump slightly.

Just then , someone pounded on the door and I winced again , swaying slightly. I knew I was just seconds from falling apart completely.

“Ella , sweetie , look at me” he said , and for the first time , I heard something in his voice that warmed me to the core and made me want to comfort him at the same time.

“Sweetie? I need you to concentrate. Look at me”

Fear. There was fear in his voice. The pounding got louder , and my vision blackened. I let go of the tight grip id; had over my body and let the blackness claim me.

As I went under , I heard an angel calling out to me.

“Ella! Ella , no! “ …





“Shelley! Shelley!” Claire screamed , and I just stood there and let them take her away , tears streaming down my face.

“Shelley , please! I promise – no more late night cookies! I won’t ask!” she begged , tears running down her pink , little flushed face.





‘I’M SO SORRY , CLAIRE-BEAR’ I thought in my head

‘THIS IS FOR YOU. THIS SI ALL FOR YOU…’

I couldn’t stand it anymore, I couldn’t live with myself if they hurt Claire , no, for her good , I let them take her away from me…





I woke to a loud scream that made my head hurt. I tried to open my mouth and order whoever was screaming to stop , then realized that it was already open.

The next thing I realized was that somebody was holding me , repeating some words over and over again.



“Shh…it’s ok , honey…” a voice said soothingly in the dark.

Jake? What was he doing there? And speaking of which , where was this ‘there’ that we were in?

I closed my mouth and realized that I had been the one screaming when all sound suddenly stopped , except for the sound of our breathing in the dark.

“Jake?” I asked , my voice coming out shaky , hoarse and rough.





“I’m her , honey” he said.





“Where’s ‘here’? I asked , and was rewarded with his deep , toe-curling , husky laugh





“Why don’t you open your eyes and see for yourself?” he suggested and I realized that the reason the room seemed so dark was because I had my eyes closed. So, I took his suggestion and fluttered my eyes open, but then shut them immediately.





"Jake...the light." I said and he understood.



"There, I've switched it off...you can open your eyes now" he said and I obeyed.

The room was dark and I could just about make out his outline. I realized that I was propped against his chest and his arms were around me.



"Ok. You can turn on the light" I said after my eyes had adjusted. I saw him lean across me and flip the switch the lights came on.

The first thing I saw was him. His eyes - they had a glint of weariness in their forest green depths. His mouth was slightly curled and his chin had slight stubble that made him manlier than ever. In short, he looked absolutely delicious.

Shaking my head to ward off the slightly inappropriate thoughts, I looked around the room.

Heart monitor, IV, glucose bottles, stench of phenol...Hospital. I was in a hospital.



"Hi" I said, looking back at him.





"Hi" he replied with an amused smile.







"How did I end up here?" I asked, snuggling closer to him. It was amazing how my body fit perfectly into his.





"Helen hit you on the head pretty hard, so you fainted when you reached school. Quite conveniently, you happened to be in my arms then, so I was able to rush you to the hospital" he sighed , his eyes far off.

I wrapped my arms around him to comfort him, and his hold on me tightened too.





"Hey...I’m ok now" I murmured to him, caressing his cheek.





"Yeah, like you said, now. You should've seen yourself then. ; Pale as a ghost, unmoving as a corpse. I’ve never been more afraid before then." he shuddered.



"I'm sorry" I whispered.





"Not your fault." he whispered back. we sat in comfortable silence in each other's arms like that for a long minute before something struck me and I pulled back.





"Wait- I was out for 3 days?" I frowned.





"Yeah-you had a slight crack in your skull and a huge bruise on your arm. I was there with you the whole time." h explained, his voice sounding a little proud and worried at the end.





"Huh..." I said as I took it in.

"Well, at least that explains the stubble" I said and he blinked in confusion

"The stubble on your chin. You haven't shaved" I pointed out, reaching out to rub my hand against it. He looked bluntly at me for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. I was little confused, but I frowned when I realized that he was laughing at me.

"What?" I snapped, irritated, and his laughter slowed to chuckles.





"Ella - you're the only one who’d be able to think of things like that when you're in a hospital" he explained and I cooled down a bit. Then I tried to get revenge another way





"I can't believe you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm stuck here in a hospital - have been for 3 days. I wake up after a night mare, my head hurting, and you LAUGH at me?" I pouted slightly faking hurt and it had the desired effect. His laughter abruptly cut off and his eyes turned worried.





"Oh my god! I'm so sorry Ella! I didn't think to ask if you were hurting. I should have - Wait here is your pain meds - “he ranted in concern and nervousness, but I stopped him when he started to pull away from me





"Stop Jake. I'm sorry I lied. I just wanted to see you squirm. I said in a whiny voice as my hands clutched his shirt.





"Oh!" he sighed in relief, but then froze and turned to look at me with narrowed eyes.

'You lied?" he asked





"I wanted revenge" I shrugged and instead of the anger I was expecting from him, his eyes turned mischievous, giving him a bad boy look.





"Well that’s too bad..." he said





"Really? Why?" I asked, one eyebrow rose.





"Well, because if it really hurt, I was going to kiss you to make it better" he said with a grin and a knowing glint in his eyes, and I froze





"You know what? My head just started throbbing. It hurts so much!" I faked hurt and even threw in a fake wince and he laughed again.





"Let me guess - You want me to kiss you?" he asked and I pouted and nodded eagerly.

He leaned forward slowly and I held my breath in anticipation. But his lips didn't come. He just rubbed his nose against mine.

"Sorry missy. You lost your chance" he breathed and pulled away, smirking when he saw my furious and indignated face.

Before I could open my mouth and give him a piece of my mind, the door opened. I jumped violently and blushed when I saw who it was, but he just chuckled.

"Try keeping it PG-13 kids." she said.





"Hello to you too mom. Nice to see that you are paying so much attention to me." Jake rolled his eyes.





"Who'd want to see YOU while there's someone much more important? Besides I see your ugly face everyday" she blew him off casually and smiled warmly at me.





"Hi Miss. Roberts" I said shyly and blushed harder when she eyed our limbs wrapped around each other. I tried to pull away from him, but his arms just tightened around me.





"Don't worry Ella. She knows. “He said simply and I froze.





"What? How?" I asked in a squeaky voice.





"Well, maybe it was the fact that he's stayed with you the whole time you were unconscious, only moving when the nurses kicked him out at 1 AM every morning. Or the fact that all he ever talks about at home is you. Or the way you two look at each other... the list is endless. Oh and please call me Violet or Vi or whatever" she said, grinning, and I smiled hesitantly.

"And YOU, my dear son should go home. Ah. Ah. Aaah. No buts. I allowed you to stay with her 'till she wakes', which I believe were your exact words. She's awake and well and really comfortable now, if what I'm seeing is any indication, so I suggest you leave."





"No, Jake, listen - she's right" I interrupted when he looked mutinous.

"Go home, take a shower, shave, and sleep for some time, preferably for the rest of the day. I'll still be here when you come back." I softly commanded and he looked torn.

"Pretty please with a cherry on top of whipped chocolate cream with white truffles and caramel toppings?" I begged, pouting slightly and he groaned.





"You don't fight fair" he accused and I grinned knowing that I had won.





"Never said I did" I said in a sing-song voice.

And after a lot of persuading, a lot of scolding, and a spine tingling kiss, he finally left.





"Aww... You both are so cute together..." Violet cooed and I blushed.





"So you're not mad?" I asked tentatively and she laughed. Her laugh sounded just like her son's - carefree and vibrant.





"Now, why would I be mad?" she asked amused.





"I don't know... he's my teacher and I'm not 18 yet..." I said, biting my lip





"Ella, trust me when I say I’ve never seen my son this happy before. It’s kind of a nice change." she smiled.

"And you'll be eighteen in...What, 2 months?"





"One month and 2 weeks" I supplied.





"There. You make him smile, he's no more a moody git, and you're old enough to date him. So why would I condemn your relationship?" she asked, casually, shrugging, and I smiled.





"Yeah...he makes me happy too ... everything’s changed since I met him" I said.





"You love him" it wasn't a question. It was an observation...a statement, a fact.

Wait, what? A fact? But that must mean-





"Yeah, I do..." I realized I wonder.

OMG! I'm in love with Jacob Smith!





Crap! Crap! Crap!

JAKE

It was official. The Ella Rogers I’d known since before the trip to Florida was long gone.
She had definitely changed, but not exactly in the good way. After that first day in the hospital, it was as if something closed off in her. She became distant again, closing herself from the world. What especially hurt me was that she would do that to me too.
It was as if she was the same, but yet not, if that made any sense. But that was it-none of it made any sense to me.
sometimes , I’d catch her looking at me , out of the corner of my eye , when my back was turned , or I was otherwise occupied , but at the same time , when I would turn and smile at her , she would either blanch or smile hesitantly , though her eyes would remain shuttered.
It was as if she was holding back a piece of her from me.
I wanted to shake her by her shoulders ; shout at her to tell me what was wrong , for something was most definitely wrong ,; I wanted to kiss all her pain away l I wanted to grab her in my arms and never let go.
And one day, I’d had enough.

"Ella, what are you doing?" I asked as I walked in one day and saw her staring at the wall blankly.


"You see that huge crack?" she asked, pointing at the wall, and I nodded, confused.
"Well, I’m trying to change it into the Nile with my awesome powers" she smiled, but her eyes didn't.
I stared at her, worried, before deciding that it had to be put there in the open.


"Ella, do you trust me?" I asked.


"Of course. That’s a stupid question" she rolled her eyes.


"And you know that you can tell me anything right?" I asked in a gentle tone, and she nodded, confused.
"So will you please tell me what's wrong?"
Immediately, her poker face came on, the one that I could see though so easily.


"What do you mean?"


"Please, Ella, I thought we were past trying to lie to each other"


"I'm not lying, Jake. I seriously don’t know what you're talking about. Nothing’s wrong" she insisted, but her eyes spoke a different story.
I was about to open my mouth and retort when the door opened.


"Mr. Smith?" I turned to see Dr. Ellis.
"May I speak to you for a minute?" she asked, and I hesitated.
"It's a really urgent matter, Mr. Smith. It can't wait." she added, her face tense, and I sighed before turning back to Ella.


"This conversation is not over." I said firmly and when I turned to follow Dr. Ellis out, I thought I caught an expression of pure terror cross her face before she composed it...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Mr. Smith, how long have you known Ella?" Dr. Ellis asked after we stepped into the office.


"About a year. And, please, call me Jacob." I answered, confused. She nodded and then hesitated.


"Jacob, we took some X-rays and scans today..."she said uneasily.


"Is something wrong?" I asked urgently, worried.


"Yes, Jacob. I think something is definitely VERY wrong here" she said after a deep breath.


"I don't understand" I said beginning to panic.


"I don't either, which is why I thought you could make me.
We found several healed contusions, sprains, and even a broken rib in her X-ray. She also has signs of old bruises, and is very malnourished. Care to explain?" she asked, and I groaned inwardly.
Interpreting my silence correctly, she sighed once.
"Jacob, we both wants what's best for Ella. So, please help me out here" she asked.
I looked at her, torn.

"Jacob, please. I can help her. There are people out there who can help her. I can see that you care about her, s please, Jacob...do this for her..." she pleaded, and I broke.
I spilled everything...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ella, we need to talk" I said in a serious tone the next day, and she looked up at me form the book she was reading.


"About?" she asked, and I couldn't answer her.
"Jake?" she prodded.


"There are some people here to see you" I sighed, and just on cue, they came in - Helen, Jack, Dr. Ellis, and the other guy.


"Hello, Ms. Rogers. My name is Matthew Hayden." the guy introduced himself with a warm smile.


"Hello, Mr. Hayden. What can I do for you?" Ella asked politely , her gaze turning to Jack ( who was the master of the poker face ) , Helen ( who was looking strangely at Ella , as though she wanted to say something ) , and Dr. Ellis ( who was looking nervous ) before finally settling on me , curious and wary.


"Actually Ms. Rogers, the question is reversed. I came here to ask what I can do for YOU." the guy said, and Ella stared at him, confused.
"You see, I'm from Child Protective Services" Mr. Hayden explained, and Ella froze, finally understanding. But when she still continued to look at him blankly, he spoke again.
"DO you mind going outside for a while, guys?" he asked looking particularly at Helen and Jack.


"Actually, yes, we do mind. We came here to see Ella, and we-" Jack started, but Helen interrupted smoothly.


"-And we were just leaving. Good day, everyone...' Helen said, steering a speckled Jack away. From the looks of it, Helen had had a probably NEVER spoken back to Jack.
When Helen was just at the door, though, she turned.
"And Ella...takes care..." she said softly, with a small smile, and I’m sure I looked just as dumbstruck as Ella did then.
Just as I was about to follow them, Ella spoke up.


"Do you mind if Mr. Smith stays, Mr. Hayden?" she asked him in a calm voice, and I winced. She only used my surname when we were in public, but I knew that that wasn't the case then...she was mad at me.


"OK, if that’s what you want. Just lock the door Jacob" he asked, and I obeyed.
There was a small silence during which Ella looked at the floor, Mr. Hayden looked at Ella, and I tried really hard not to look anywhere.
"OK, Ella, there's no point in beating around the bush" Mr. Hayden sighed.
"I came here because we received Intel that was rather...disturbing. Tell me, Ella, how you ended up here?" he asked.


"Because I got hurt" she shrugged as though nothing was wrong.


"Yes, obviously, so the question is, HOW?"


"Oh, I had a minor accident. I tripped and fell down the stairs. I’m incredible clumsy, you know? You should ask Helen" Ella said with an easy fake smile.


"Why do you call your mother 'Helen'?" he asked.


"She's...She's not actually my mother. I was adopted by Helen and Steve Rogers when I was 12"



"And what about jack Sosa?"


"Jack married Helen after Steve did, 3 yrs ago" Ella replied easily, but I could see how her eyes tightened and pain flashed across them when she talked about her father.


"And how do you get along with him?"


"Pretty good, why?" she asked, still maintaining her carefree and innocent facade, and I couldn’t stand it anymore.


"Ella, please" I begged, and she looked at me, her eyes flashing. She understood what I was asking her to do.


"Yes, Jacob? Do you have anything to say?" Mr. Hayden asked, turning to me. Before I could open my mouth, Ella interrupted.


"No, he doesn't" she said, her grey eyes flashing dangerously, boring into mine, before she turned to him again.
"Mr. Hayden , I think I have a pretty good idea why you're here , and I’m sorry to tell you that your 'Intel' is wrong , and there is nothing you can help me with" she said firmly , and I heard the real meaning about the last part.
Ella and the guy had a glaring match, and he was the first to blink.


"Ella, I can't do anything if you're going to maintain this facade. Please remember that I only want to help you" he said in a fatherly, gentle voice.


"Thank you, Mr. HAYDEN. Now, if you don't mind, I need to rest. I AM in a hospital, you know..." she said with another fake smile.


"Of course...Bye Ella. Take care." he said with a genuine, warm smile, gave me a tired look and a nod, and left me with Ella...

ELLA


We stood, or rather he stood and I sat, like that for a long mite, before he spoke.


"Ella, I-"


"I trusted you" I said I my surprisingly low and trembling voice.
"How COULD you?" I asked, looking straight a them, and he winced.
"I told you EVERYTHING! I asked, -no BEGGED you not to tell!" I said, my voice finally rising to a yell.


"I did it for YOU ella!" he yelled back.
"Do you think I LIKE watching you step into school with a new bruise every day? How do you think I feel?" he shouted, and it as my turn to wince.
He was making this so easy. I didn't want to do it; I wanted to cling to him and never let go, but I HAD t. For him.
So I just put on my mask and proceeded to hurt the man I was in love with.


"Do you think I care about what you feel, Jacob?" I asked in a clod voice.


"What?" he asked in a hollow voice.


"This isn't about you! It’s about me! Who the hell do you think you are, butting your head in MY life?!" I demanded and he flinched at the venom in his voice. He opened his mouth to form words, but when nothing except a strangling choke came out, he closed to again.
"GO away, MR. Smith. I f you care about me at all, as you so claimed, you will never bother me again." I said, putting the final nail in my coffin.


"Please Ella-" he started m his voice breaking, and I wanted to fall at his feet and cry.


"Please, Mr. Smith. Don’t make me beg. I said, closing my eyes to stop the oncoming tears.
There was a small silence after which I heard the door open and close softly, and I knew that I just lost him...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Ella , you have a visitor" nurse Brody ( Yes , he was a male nurse , and no , he wasn't gay ) said with a smile , poking his head in.


"I told you I didn’t want any" I groaned


"In know you did, but this young man seems quite persistent .I’m sorry, Hun. I can't blow him off." he said with a grimace and I groaned again.


"Fine, let him in" I said grudgingly. I was curious, though, as to the 'young man’’s identity. it wasn't Jake , because there was no way Brody would have let him in , an I’d even ordered him not to tell me if Jake even tried to visit , to save me further heartbreak , so who was it?
One thing, though...whoever it was, I certainly didn't expect to see

"Lance?" I blinked.
"What are you doing here?" I asked shocked, as he walked in with a bouquet of lilies - my favorite.


"Isn't it obvious? I came to see you" he said, rolling his eyes.


"Why?" I asked, suspicious.


"Oh, come on! Does a brother have to have a reason to come and visit his sick sister?" he asked with a pout.


"I didn’t know you still considered me your sister. After all, what brother calls his sister a b****?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. He just sighed and handed me the bouquet.


"For you" he said with a weak smile.


"Thank you. I’m touched that you remembered"
There was a slight, awkward pause, which he broke first.


"Ella, I’m so sorry. I can't even BEGIN to tell you how sorry I am .I know you want nothing to do with me , but please-at least give me a chance to explain, i promise-i won't bother you again." he begged.



"Fine. You have 15 minutes" I said curtly. There was a small pause before he began.


"OK, I know I screwed up. Big time. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. It’s just that-when they sent you-i was mad that they were taking you, my only friend in that horrible place, away from me. And also that you got fostered before Me." he sighed.


"That wasn't fair, Lance. What did I do?" I asked, hurt.
The thing was, Lance was an orphan too. He was my only companion in the place, and we were practically siblings. But when they sent me to the first foster home when I was 6, Lance got mad at me. He started shouting at me, saying that he hated me and that I’d betrayed him and that he never wanted to see me again. I was really hurt, because I didn’t know what I had done to make him hate me.
After the first foster home sent me back to the orphanage, I hoped that he would have gotten over his irrational anger, and that he would say he was sorry, but he never did. He continued to ignore me and act like we never knew each other. After every failed foster home, I would hope for the same thing, but it never happened, and I just resorted to crying myself to sleep at night.
And then, 3 yrs later, something much worse happened. Lance was sent to the same house I was in, the Richards. God, the look on his face when he realized that...it still sent shudders up my spine.
After that, he considered it his sole mission in life to hurt mean make my life a living hell, until I finally broke down and told my social worker that I wanted to go back to the orphanage.

"I know. It’s just...I was hurt. And mad. And that's a dangerous combination Ella. I wanted to make you pay , because I felt that somehow...you were better than me , that it was all somehow my fault , and that was why I was fostered so late..." he sighed , and I opened my mouth to comfort him , saying that nothing was his fault , but he cut me off.
"But then you saved me, back in Florida, and I remembered how sweet and kind you'd always been to me when we were younger.
I was disgusted with myself. I’m so...I’m so SORRY Ellie...will you please forgive me?" he begged, and I heard the raw pain and honesty in his voice.
suddenly , I remembered something ; a forgotten memory...a small boy holding out a white lily to me after he’d found me crying near the front porch....smiling and asking if I wanted to play tag with him...and then declaring with a hug at the end of the day that I was his bentest friend.


"Well, you know how I’ve never been able to stay mad at you for more than a few hours..." I said with a small smile.
He blinked once, before understanding dawned and his face broke into a huge smile, just like it had the day when I’d hugged him and told him that he was my bentest friend too.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" he exclaimed, bouncing up and down slightly.


"OK, OK, stop squealing like a girl. You’re making my head throb" I laughed, and he froze, blushing slightly.
And then it hit me.
"OMG! Lance! Are you GAY?!"...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I didn’t know what to say or how to describe it- my life was much better, as well as purgatory m after I was discharged from the hospital.
It was pretty good because of how dramatically Helen had changed. I was so stunned when on my first day back, Helen brought me dinner to my room. She continued doing polite, small things like that, but I didn't know why. Maybe she was afraid that if she wasn't nice to me, I’d tell on her to CPS. Maybe she realized that she'd finally gone too far. Or maybe, just maybe, she had genuinely begun to care for me.
And another plus factor in my life was Lance. We hung out practically every day, and Helen, again, stunning me, didn't even give me any crap about it. When I told her the first day that I was going out to see friend, she simply told me to lock the door behind me. Even Jack's little late night episodes had stopped. I was surely happy about it, but I was also equally cautious. I even slept with a baseball bat behind my bed.
Even the people at school had stopped playing tricks on me, sometimes even going as far as holding a door open for me or smiling politely.
The one HUGE minus factor, of course, was Jake.
I hated myself for hurting him, but that was the only way that he would ever willingly withdraw from my life. I wasn't a dreamer, I knew that things had to be ended between us when I finally left Juneau after graduation, and it was better this way.
Speaking of Jake, he'd been on leave for the whole while that I was in the hospital (2 weeks) and he rejoined 4 days after I did.
His reason for cutting work was that he had been sick, and nobody doubted him, because he more than convinced them without even saying a word.

"Oh My God, Mr. Smith! What happened to you?" a guy exclaimed in horror, the first to regain speech, for the whole had been in shock when Jake had entered the room.
He looked like hell. his eyes had dark circles under them , his skin looked pale and waxen , and he had gotten considerably thinner than the last time I’d seen him , which I couldn't believe , was only 2 weeks ago. His knuckles were bandaged, but the main thing was his eyes; there was no sign of if in their dull, mossy green depths.

"Jacob, are you alright?" Riley asked in her high voice.


"I'm fine, guys. I just wasn't well for a while. I’m better now, don't worry" he called out, and even his VOICE was dull.
After a weak smile that looked more like a grimace, in my direction, he started his lesson, while I sat, glued to my seat, in horror.
Oh dear ...what had I done?!?...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Are you satisfied now?" a terribly familiar yet foreign voice came from behind me, and I jumped.
I turned around, my heart hammering, and there he was. Jacob Smith. The guy who held my feeble, pathetic heart, and also the guy whose own I broke.

"What are you talking about?" I asked in a low, suspicious voice.


"Have you tortured me enough? Is this what you want? Are you happy now?" he asked, taking a step forward.


"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Smith" I said, wincing inwardly.


"You’re not a very good liar, Ella, have I ever told you that?" he asked with a weak smile.


"No, Mr. Smith. We didn't have the time to talk about a lot of things before you broke my trust" I supplied and he winced.


"Ella, are we really playing this game? Can’t you see, Ella? This is what I am without you!" he said, gesturing to himself.


"Please Mr. Smith. Save the dramatics for someone else" I scoffed even though I wanted to fall at his feet and beg him to take me back.


"OK, Ella, just tell me one thing. What did I do to deserve this? what did I do wrong?" he asked , his eyes glowing with anger , the first sign of life I’d seen in them since he'd joined school 3 days back.


"You betrayed me" I said imply.


"Betray? Ella, everything I did was to protect you!" he exclaimed, frustrated.


"I neither need nor want your pity, Mr., Smith. Trust me on that "I said in a harsh voice, my temper flaring up.
He was silent for a few seconds.


"You're right, Ella, we didn't have a whole lot of time to talk, and there are a lot of things I haven't told you" he said.


"I'm done her, Mr. Smith. I’m not interested in solving your riddles" I said, frustrated, and turned on my heels.
But he opened his mouth then, and my whole world came crashing down...

JAKE

" I love you" I said in a quiet voice , and she froze . After a few seconds, she turned back and looked at me.


"What? " she asked, her voice devoid of any emotion.


" That's one of the things I've never told you. I'm in love with you, Ella, and I can't live without you" I said, right from the bottom of my heart.
She was suffering too, I could see that in her eyes. So why wouldn't she just accept it?


"I'm done believing your lies, Mr.Smith" she said in that blank distant voice of hers, and I winced inwardly.
Her anger, I could take, her hatred I could take, with difficulty. Her separation I could take, though it killed me. But this? This blank, cold face? I couldn't.
It hurt to know that she wanted nothing to do with me. But it killed me a thousand times more to know that she didn't want to show me how she felt - but she didn't TRUST me.
Couldn't she see that I was in love with her? Couldn't she see how my heart was breaking a little bit more with everyone of her words? Couldn't she feel the hold she had on me?
"I won't tell you once more. Leave me alone Mr.Smith" she said in a cold harsh voice.


"Ok Ella if you STILL don't believe me there's nothing I can do more. So I'll give you what you want. Good Bye Ella. You won't be seeing me again." I said with a sad smile.
When I turned and started walking back towards the school a single tear rolled down my cheek, for the first time in more than years, as I realized that I was walking out of her life forever...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"With all due respect Mr.Smith, your stupid" a voice came from behind me and I turned.


"What do you want Mr.Richards?" I asked in a hollow voice.


"How could you let her go?" he asked and I sighed, turned.


"What happens between Ella and I is no business of yours"


"On the contrary, Ella is my sister, so I have a say in everything that happens concerning her he retorted.


" Sister? But -what- ? " I stuttered, surprised.


"Yeah, I know its quite a shock, but that is a story for another day. My question is, what happened?" he asked, perching himself on a bench and looking at me with expectant eyes.


" It's complicated. In a nutshell, I screwed up, and she broke up with me" I said.


"You're in love with her" he observed and I nodded.
"You should tell her that"


"Already did. She told me not to make her beg and that she didn't want to see me, ever again" I sighed, rubbing my eyes, wincing as I thought about her words.

There was a small silence.


"I bought you something. Here" he said and handed me a book. I immediately recognized the handwriting.
"This is Ella's. I found her crying over it one day" he said as I thumbed through the pages. Most of them were blank, except for the first few.


"This is all jumbled" I said confused, as I looked at the records, willing them to make sense.


" I know. Its in core language. Ella was a big fan of those, back when we were little." he said matter-of-factly.


"You know how to decipher these?" I asked hopefully and he grimaced.


"Unfortunately not." Just then, his phone rang and he looked at the caller ID.
"It's Ella." he sighed.


" She still has the cell phone? " I asked surprised.


"Yeah. but she changed her number" he said with an apologetic smile, but I felt a tiny ray of sun shine in my heart. She had something of mine, so maybe she didn't COMPLETELY hate me.


"Ok, she'll yell if I'm not there in 2 more minutes, so bye. And good luck." he said and hopped off the bench.


"Hey Lance " I called and he turned.


"Why are you helping me now? " I asked.


"Because Ella needs you" he said simply, and with one last smile and a nod, he left...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________

"Jakeee!” a high , shrill , voice came and my head snapped around , looking for the source of the lsightly familiar voice.
A couple of seconds later , a medium sized ball of pink and purple hugged me , knocking me over in it’s enthusiasm.


“Claire-bear! What are you doing here?” I asked , laughing , as she clung to me.


“I’m waiting for Shelley. She didn’t come with you?” she asked , frowning cutely , and I froze.
3 weeks. It had been 3 weeks since she spoke those hateful words , and her name was like a punch to the gut.


“No , she isn’t. I just came here to play on the swings” I told her with a smile.


“Oh…hey! Do you want to make a present for Shelley?” she asked, frown disappearing and grin forming in a second.


“A present?” I asked , confused.


“Yeah! It’s her birthday today! You don’t know?” she asked excitedly.


“Hello , Jacob” on older voice came and I looked up to see Lilith.


“Hi , Ms. Byer.”


“Jake , do you wanna help or not?” Claire asked , patting my cheek to get my attention


“I really want to , Claire-bear , but you see , Shelly sand I are fighting , and I don’t think she’ll like it very much if I help” I said apologetically.


“Fighting? Why?” she asked again , brows furrowed , but Lilith interrupted smoothly , understanding the situation.


“Honey , why don’t you go and play in the sand box? I’m sure Ella will be here in a few minutes” she suggested. The little girl nodded and hopped off my lap , running off in the direction of the sand box.
Lilith occupied the swing next to me and we sat in silence for a while.


“Ms. Byers , may I ask you something?” I asked , and she nodded.
“Why do you hate Ella?” I asked , curious , and was surprised when she laughed.
Ella had told me about her little visits with Claire , and how Lilith seemed so cold and harsh towards her every time.


“I don’t hate Ella , Jacob. I’m afraid of her. And please…it’s Lilith” she said with a smile.


“I don’t understand.” I said , and she sighed.


“Jacob , I’m a 32-yr old , single woman who leads and empty life. But then I got Claire , and she’s…she’s my everything , Jacob. I’m afraid that ella has the power to take my life away from me , because that’s what Claire is ; my whole life” she explained , and we sat in silence again , mine shocked , her’s wistful and haunted.
“You love her. Ella” she said in a low voice and I groaned inwardly. What was with people who kept (correctly )guessing my feelings? Was I that easy to read.


“Enough to let her go , if that’s what she wants” I replied quietly.


“May I ask what happened?” she asked hesitantly , and I told her the whole story , except the abusing part , in a hollow voice.


“She trusted me , and I broke that trust. So she got mad and told me to go away and never see her again , which is exactly what I’m planning on doing. I’m leaving to do my Masters at Yale in 2 days” I admitted , and she sighed.


“Men are such morons. Why can’t you see that she wants you to go because she already expects you to?” Lilith asked and I just stared at her , speechless.
Just then , Claire bounced over to us.


“Lily! Look at this!” she said , throwing a piece of paper at Lilith.


“Hmmm…what have we here? Another code?” Lilith asked in an animated voice , and I saw by the way her eyes lit up that she was in love with the kid.


“Yeah! Try figuring this one out!” Claire challenged , and my mind immediately snapped into ‘alert’ mode.


“Hey , Claire , can I see that?” I asked , my heart hammering , and she nodded.
There was no doubt. This was the same ‘code’ that Ella had used.
“Claire , does Shelley know this code?” I asked, and she grinned.


“Yeh! I taught her!”


“really?” can you teach me too?” I asked eagerly.


“Only if you promise not to tell Lily” she bargained.


“I promise “


“Cross your heart and hope to die?” shw asked suspiciously.


“Cross my heart and hope to die” I repeated solemnly , and she finally showed me.
It was very simple , really , and quite ingenious. You just had to replace the letters with their precedents and successors. The first letter will be replaced with the one before it , the next letter stays the same , and the third will be replaced with the letter after it.
For example , the word A-P-P-L-E would become Z-P-Q-K-E . Immediately , I took out a pen and the diary of Ella’s that I carried around everywhere , an started deciphering the words.
Almost magically , jumbled , random letters turned into meaningful word , which turned into lines , which , at last , turned into a full poem.












ONE LOOK , THAT WAS ALL IT TOOK

One look , that was all it took ,
Disgust , displeasure and scorn ,
They made me wish I’d never been born.

One look , that was all it took ,
Ignorance , impatience , and form some , even pity ,
It was as if I had on the cloak of invisibility.

One look , that was all it took ,
I saw him stand in all his brilliance ,
And , God! He was just a nuisance!

One look , that was all it took ,
He right away spotted my pain ,
He tried to help , but I couldn’t see what he would stand to gain.

One look , that was all it took ,
He followed me around like a lost pup ,
I should’ve known he would never give up.

One look , that was all it took ,
Inevitably , eventually , he reached his goal ,
He had me pouring out my soul.

One look at him , that was all it took ,
All the scorn , pity and the negligence went flying out the window ,
I knew that I would be cherished , and loved so…

-
Rochelle Rogers


I was speechless as I finished reading it. But I noticed the small paragraph below.

I know this is childish with rhyme schemes and all , but please people-cut me some slack – this is my first poem in 3 years!
And all because of Jake. He forced me to start writing again.
Speaking of Jake – oh , how I loved him! Every word in the poem was from the bottom of my heart…well , every word , except the last para – you know , that was kind of wishful thinking – it’s my hope , that someday , he’d fall in love with me.
I know it’s far-fetched , but hey! A girl can dream…

Oh god! Oh God! Oh God!
I was hyperventilating.
Ella loved me! Ella was in love with me!
I felt like jumping up and doing Futterwacken ( you know , that dance from alice in wonderland ?)

“See? I told you – she loves you too” Lilith said smugly , having read the poem from over my shoulder.
I sat in stunned silence for a long couple of minutes before she sighed.

“I’ve got to go , Jacob. It’s getting late. We were supposed to go home 2 hours ago. I don’t know why Ella’s late ; she never misses our visits” she said with a small frown.
“But anyway , nice talking to you. And good luck. Don’t let her go. Fight” she said , gave a genuine smile , and after Claire had given me a tight hug , started walking back to their car.
In that second , 3 sentences , said by 3 different people , at 3 different times , sprang to my mind , suddenly making sense together.

“…it’s her birth day today!...”

“…she’s never missed our visits…”

“….he’s waiting for my 18th birthday…”

In a stunning moment of sickening clarity , it hit me.

“Lilith! Lilith , wait!” I yelled as they reached the car.


“Jacob? what’s wrong?” she asked , startled by my horror struck face and terrified expression.


“Ella@ call the cops! Send them to her house!” I screamed , and , without saying anything more , started running like a bat out of hell , hoping and praying…

ELLA

I screamed , but I knew no one could hear me. I tried to fight , but he was too strong.
In short , I was screwed.
“don’t stop screaming , ella…the resistance makes it all the more fun…” he said in a delighted voice , and i shuddered as his hands started creeping up my shirt.
what had I done to deserve this? I wanted to ask. Today was going to be a great day. I was finally going to get Claire and run. But I couldn’t , because the monster had gotten it’s claws on me just as I was about to step out of the house.
I had everything ready. I’d found a small apartment and a job as a waitress about a hundred km away , with Lances’ help , but everything had gone to waste.
As I thought of Claire , tears stung my eyes. She would be waiting at the park now , with a present that she probably made herself. She’d be wondering why I hadn’t come to get her as I’d promised,
I was jolted out of my mind when the monster’s grimy lips slammed against mine with a force that backed me against the wall.
That was it. That was the last string. I was done taking their crap. I wouldn’t go quietly into the night anymore. I wouldn’t give up without a fight.
With that thought , I pulled all the strength I had hidden in the nooks and corner of my body and shoved against his chest.
I think it was the shock of my boldness that pried him off me , rather than my strength.
Before either of us could speak a word , or do something to each other , a loud screech distracted us and we both looked at the door.

“You bastard! “ an angry ; no , scratch that , a livid Helen screamed , her voice hurting my ears.
“I trusted you! I thought you loved me!” she yelled and the monster backed away from me.


“Helen , baby , it’s not my fault! She forced herself on me!” he defended in a whiny voice. , but she wasn’t falling for it.
I could’ve taken their fight as a distraction and run , but I couldn’t , somehow…I just had this feeling that something bad was going to happen if I left.


“Liar! I saw! I saw everything! How could you do this to me?” she screamed again as I watched , transfixed.


“I’m not lying , baby. Would I –“ he started again , trying on a hurt voice , but she interrupted him , her voice disturbingly low.


“I lied for you…I did all that you said…I even killed my own husband!” she said , her voice shaking , and I froze.



“You. what ?” I asked , my hollow voice breaking the tense silence and echoing around the house.


“Ella! Oh , Ella! I’m so sorry! I was horrible to you! And i-I killed Steve” she sobbed , tears running down her face.


“Oh , no , Helen. That was you , that was all you…you abused your stepdaughter…you killed your husband , who was probably the only one to ever love you…you –“ the monster scoffed , dropping his innocent act , and before I knew what was happening , Helen had thrown herself on him , her hands choking his throat.


“Die!” she yelled , and I watched , as though in slow motion , as his hand fumbled for something , anything , to defend himself with.
I screamed out a warning , but it was too late.


“Helen! Helen , look-“ the sick ‘squelch’ of something piercing skin stopped me short , and I watched , again , in slow motion , as she fell slowly to the floor , her hand gripping the knife that was now embedded in her waist.
There was a pin drop silence , and then the reality of what he’d done struck him. He ran away through the back door , leaving me alone with Helen.

“Ella…Ella…” she called in a coarse voice as I was about to go and get an ambulance.
“Ella , come …to me…”


“Helen!” I said in a horrified whisper as her eyes rolled to mine. She was writhing on the floor silently.


“I’m so…so sorry…” she gasped out , her eyes pleading.


“Helen , Helen , I need to call 911” I said , but her vice grip on my hand prevented me from moving.


“I thought…he said…you…Claire away…” she gasped , and I understood.
I’d been wondering why Helen had been going easy on me since I’d been discharged from the hospital , but now , I had my answer. I’d said Claire’s name that day.
Helen would have thought , not , Jack would have forced her to think that I sent Claire away…so maybe she didn’t hate me , after all…maybe she was only just blaming me all the while…
“Claire…Ella , is…is she ok?” she gasped out , tears sliding down her face. I remembered now how Helen’s face turned sour and angry every time I lifted Claire from her crib , or whenever Claire said my name…she would’ve thought that I took Claire away from her .


“She’s fine. She’s grown so much…she looks like you…but she has Dad’s eyes…” I said , my voice half-sob and half-laughter as tears rolled down my face too.


“Ella…will you call …Ella…cal me…mom?” she whispered as her writhing suddenly slowed , and I remembered how happy Helen used to be around me those first few months…how she would offer to go shopping with me every Saturday.


“Mom…Mom , I’m sorry” I said , sobbing as the ghost of a smile flickered across her face.


“Thank…you..for…Claire…everything…thank…” the light left her eyes and her body grew limp , and I knew that she was no more…
Helen Rogers – and yes , I knew that the woman who’d just died had been Rogers and not Sosa – my mom , was no more…


I don’t know for how long I sat there with my mom in my arms , sobbing into her chest , but suddenly , I heard a distant voice calling out to me , as though from a faraway land.

“Ellaaaa! Ellaa!” the voice called and I slowly lifted my head and looked toward the source of sound , a couple of seconds before the front door burst open and he ran in.
He froze when he took in the scene before him. I could just imagine what I must have looked like to him ; teenage girl , dress a bit revealing , crying on the floor with a body in her arms.
He unfroze when a sob escaped my chest.

“Ella…oh , honey…” his voice was warm honey , soothing , as he walked forward slowly , his eyes filled with concern.
He knelt and picked me up by my arms , wrapping his coat around me.


“Jake…” I sobbed , my face against his chest as he rocked me slightly.


“Shh…” he murmured , kissing my forehead , his chin resting on top of my head.


“I didn’t..Jake…I didn’t mean to…I’m so…I’m so sorry , Jake…” I cried , the last part coming out as a whisper.


“I know , baby. I know…” he crooned , kissing my forehead again , and I knew that he knew what I was apologizing for.
I passed out in his arms with that knowledge…

JAKE

I couldn’t believe how quickly it had all blown over. It seemed like one minute , I was sitting in the park , talking to Lilith , and the next , I was staring at ella who was sobbing with a dead Helen in her arms.
And now – now I was sitting on one of the stairs with Ella in my arms.
She was curled around me like a kitten , and I was cradling her like a baby – her legs dangling off my lap , my arms around her tightly. Her face was hidden in the crook of my neck , form where i could feel tears sliding down silently.

“Ms. Rogers?” an elderly voice called and I looked up.
“Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?” a detective asked. The whole place was swarming with detectives and medics.
Ella looked up slowly , and her eyes widened in panic as she considered the possibility of being separated from me.
Yeah…like that’s going to happen. She was exactly where she belonged, exactly where I wanted her to be , and there was no way in hell that I was letting go of her anytime soon.

“It’s ok , Flynn. He’s safe.” A slightly familiar voice came and Mr. Hayden appeared. He clapped a hand to the other detective’s back and gave us a small smile.
“And besides , I don’t think they’re going to let go of each other anytime soon” his smile turned amused.


“uh…ok…who’re you , again?” the other detective asked me , taking out a notepad and a pen.


“I’m Jacob Smith. I’m 22 , a teacher in Avalon High , and I live 8 blocks from here” I supplied.


“And how do you know Ms. Rogers?” he asked , jotting it all down.


“I’m her teacher…and boyfriend” I said and ella froze while one of the detective’s eyebrows rose and Mr. Hayden smirked and winked.


“OK…Ms. Rogers , if it’s not too much trouble , could you please tell me what happened?” he asked turning to ella.
Mr. Hayden and is poke at the same moment.


“Not not now , Flynn” he said in a disapproving voice while I snarled a ‘no’.
But a tiny , fragile voice stopped all three of us from getting into an argument.

“They killed Daddy…” …


I was sick by the time she finished. How could they have done it all to my sweet ella?
She told us everything , right from Claire’s birth to the present . though she started to start violently at some points.
Finally , the detective nodded slightly and left , and MR. Hayden stayed long enough to smile warmly at ell and order me to take care of her.
Suddenly , a small chuckle sounded and I was surprised when I discovered it’s source..


“What’s so funny?” I asked as she lifted her head from where she’d rested it against my shoulder.


“Your age…” she chuckled again.


“Yeas?” I asked , confused and a little afraid. What if she thought I was too old for her> what would I do then?


“You’re only 22…you act as if you’re 50 or something” she choked out before bursting out into giggles , eyes widening and body shaking.


“You’re slaphappy , ella” I said in a disapproving yet relieved voice.
“You should be resting…after what’s happened…” my voice trailed off uncertainly.
She was still giggling uncontrollably.
“Ella…” I said in a warning tone.


“I’m sorry…I just…I can’t stop…when I think of…how f***ed up my…life is…” she gasped out in between laughs.
I was frustrated , until ii came up with a surefire way to stop her giggles.


“So…I was in the park earlier…” I started the conversation , and smiled inwardly when her laughter abruptky cut off.


“What? The park- Claire! Jake , did you see her? Is she ok?” she asked , her voice getting higher and shriller with each word.


“Relax, Ella. She’s fine…” I said in a soothing voice , and her body relaxed…
We sat in silence for a while for a little while , my hands absentmindedly tracing her skin.
“so…what do we do now?” I asked , and she sighed , as though having anticipated the question.


“I need some water…” she said , trying to get out of my arms , but I just tightened my hold.


“Ella! I asked you a question!” I said and she stopped wriggling.


“Well…I suppose you go back to you life and I go back to mine…” she said after a small pause.


“Yeah? And you go back to torturing the both of us gain?” I asked with a raised eyebrow , and she blushed a lovely pink.
Honestly…how could I not be in love with this girl?
“Ella , how can you be so blind? How can you net see it? Feel it?”I asked, exasperated , burying my face in her neck.


“see what?” she asked and the fact that her voice was shaking mad me immensely happy. It meant that she was as affected by my presence as I was by hers.


“You’re seriously asking me that?” I asked , skeptical , and she nodded.
I raised my head from her neck to look a there.
“I’m in love with you , Ella. When are you going to wrap your incredibly thick , stubborn head around that fact?” I demanded , and she froze.


“No…you only think you are…but no…what you feel for me is just…pity…not love.” She said , and the pain and sorrow reflected in her eyes made my heart twist. Why couldn’t she just admit it already?


“Don’t you dare tell me what I feel , Rochelle Rogers.!” I warned , my voice coming out a growl.
“And before you open your mouth to argue , I’d like to ask you something.” I cut her off as she started to protest.
“Tell me , Ella…when was the last time you saw your diary?” I asked , smiling inwardly while I waited for her reaction eagerly.


“How do you know about my diary?” she asked , and then her eyes went wide , as realization dawned.
“No…please tell me you don’t have t…” she groaned.


“Sorry , Ella…contrary to popular belief , I was raised never to lie” I said , smiling.


“But it’s ok , though. You can’t read it.” She said confidently , and relaxed in my arms as she glared at me smugly.


“Ella , I think you’re forgetting something…” I said with a wicked smile and she raised one eyebrow.
“Didn’t I tell you that I was just in the park earlier? Guess who I met there?” I asked , and she just stared at me blankly , not getting it , and I patiently waited.
And hit her it did.

“s***! Claire was there!” she said , panicking.


“Took you long enough.” I said , smugly as she groaned.


“Don’t tell me…she taught you?” she asked , her voice scared , hiding her face again in the crook of my neck , and instead of answering , I quoted her.
“One look , that was all it took ,
All the scorn , disgust and negligence went flying out the window ,
And I knew I would be cherished and loved so…”
I whispered in her ear , nibbling slightly on her earlobe , and a shiver rocked her body as she moaned.
“Ella…” I said and she pulled away slowly , opening her eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me , Ella? That you loved me?” I asked gently.


“I can’t , Jake…” she moaned, raw pain in her voice.


“Why not , Ella? Is loving me so unbearable , then? Is that it?” I asked, hurt.


“No! no , Jake , of course not!” she exclaimed , horrified.


“Then why not?” I prodded , relieved.


“I …just…I don’t deserve you , Jake…” she whispered , closing her eyes.


“What in the world makes you think that , Ella?”


“Can’t you see how screwed up my life is? You’re too good for me , Jake. You don’t belong in my world.” She said , and her breath hitched.


“How do you know I don’t belong if you don’t even let me in?” I challenged


“I can’t. if I let you in , you’ll be repulsed and leave me. This way , it’ll be easier” she said , and 2 tears rolled down her eyes. I kissed them away softly , pulling her in tighter.


“You can’t keep pushing away people forever , Ella. Sooner or later , you’ve got to start letting someone in. all I’m asking is that you let that person be me…” I said softly , and she took a deep breath.
“please , Ella? Give me-us a chance..” I begged shamelessly. I wasn’t above falling at her feet and begging , if it came to that.


“Why?” she asked , resting her forehead against mine.


“Why?” I repeated , confused.


“Why do you want to be with me o badly?” she asked in a half-whisper , and even though she tried to hide the fear in her voice , I heard i.


“Because I seriously can’t let you go again. It almost killed me the first time” I whispered back. She closed her eyes and made a kind of purring sound as I brushed my lips ever so softly against hers.


“Jake?” she asked.


“Mmm?”
Her eyes opened , and this time , they were jumping with joy.

“I love you” she whispered , and if I died right then , I knew that I’d die the happiest man alive…

EPILOGUE

To put it simply , I was wallowing in self-pity and misery. I couldn’t believe the way things had turned out. It seemed like one moment, I was being my boring , miserable self , and the next , I was head over heels in love.
The last 4 years were a major blur , but I still remember some things. Like the feel of his lips on min…his breathtaking smile…his sexy voice…well , you get the idea.
Jake…God , I missed him so much. He had been a constant in my life for so long , so I was devastated when it happened.. but I couldn’t exactly tell him that , could I ?
And another constant in my life was Claire , my sweet sister. She was almost 9 now , and I could already tell that she was going to be a heartbreaker. a couple of year ago , when I was in college , Lilith legally adopted Claire. Jake had explained to me the reason she’d acted so cold towards me, , and we formed a bond when it was all sorted out. I also thought I wouldn’t be able to bear Claire being away from me , but I was wrong, I was nothing but happy for the life she was leading , and I would forever be grateful to Lilith for giving her that life.
And besides , it’s not as if I’d never see her again ; I’d practically lived with Lilith and Claire till I went away to college and the sly , wicked fox got me to move in with him.
As for what happened on my 18th birthday…they found Jack and he was charged for double murder and attempted rape of a minor , so he was safely locked away.
In short , everything turned out well for everyone , but that was all in the past now.
In the present , I was miserable-yeah , yeah , I know I’ve mentioned this before , but like I asle said , I was also wallowing in self pity and grief , so you can’t really blame me…


As I was about to insert the key in the lock , I froze when I realized that the door was already open. I was sure that I’d locked it before i left to the park , so it had to be an intruder.
Slowly , trying to be silent , and controlling my slightly shaking body , I opened the door and stepped in , willing my shoes to keep quiet..
The minute I stepped foot in the house , however , the door shut behind me , and the lights flew on.

“SURPRISE !”
I blinked , confused , and it took me a minute to take in the scene before me.
The living room was colorfully decorated with balloons and streamers , and almost everyone In the room were wearing party hats on.
“Guys? What are you all doing here?” I asked , confused , staring at Claire , Lilith , Violet , Mr. Hayden ( yeah , he’d become a close friend , and was currently Lilith’s fiancée ) , lance and his boyfriend , and some of my friends from college..

“Happy birthday , Shelley!” squealed Claire , and I froze , counting the days.
S***! Today was my birth day…today was the day that-

“Uh huh…none of the , missy!” lance said sternly , walking forward.
“You are going to enjoy yourself today and not thing about anything or anyone else” he instructed , giving me a knowing smile , and I grinned.


“Damn! How do you always know what I’m thinking?” I asked as he laughed wrapped me In a hug.
After that , I was passed around to everyone.


“Guys! I’m 22!” I protested when they dragged me to the cake.


“h no! don’t you dare argue with me , young lady!” Lilith scolded .
A pang struck across my chest as the word ‘young lady’ , and I forced it away. No .I would not think of him today , I told myself.
I cut the car while everybody clapped and cheered , but there was still a hollow ache in my chest.
I took out the first piece , wondering who to feed it to , when the piece magically disappeared from my hands ,and I only felt a warm wetness.
I blinked , confused.
A strong arm wrapped around my wais , and I was about to scream , when I recognized the scent. No…it couldn’t be…
I gasped and turned around and there he was.

“Happy birthday , love” he murmured ,and before i could open my mouth , he covered it with his.
I didn’t stand a chance.
I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck , standing on my tiptoes to kiss him better. I tasted black current , which confirmed my theory about the stolen cake.

“Well , if that is the welcome home kiss , then maybe I should consider staying away more often” he grinned , panting slightly and resting his forehead against mine.


“Jake…what are you doing here? I thought you weren’t due home for 3 weeks?” I gasped out , still not over the shock.
Jake had become a kick-ass author and had been on tour for the past 2 months.
“Book signings can wait. You’re more important , and I wouldn’t miss tomorrow for the world” he declared proudly , and I realized that I was graduating the next day.
“Don’t tell me you forgot” he groaned , and I blushed , ducking my head.


“Sorry…I just…I missed you so much” I said , resting my head against his chest , perfectly content with listening to his heart.
“I love you , Jake” I murmured , and no matter how many times I said it , it never seemed to be enough.
I was surprised when he didn’t answer right away , but tensed and pulled away gently.


“Um…yeah , about that…” he mumbled , and I started sweating , feeling the previous day’s breakfast , which had been my last meal.
“God , I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid!” he mumbled to himself , and my heart sank.
No , no , please , god , no! I begged inside my head , hyperventilating , but I knew that it was all too good to be true.
To say the truth , I was surprised that he had stuck around for 4 years ; I’d expected him to run for the hills in the first week.
But when life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations , it’s not fair to grieve when it comes to an end.
“Ok , deep breaths , ella” I told myself.
“you can get through this…this is what he wants…he’ll be happy away from you…” I said , and even though it hurt , the last part calmed me down.
I wanted him to be happy , more than anything in the world , and if I had to sacrifice my happiness for that , then so be it.
I felt a hand slip into my clammy own , and I looked p to see Lilith smiling at me soothingly.
Damn! I’d forgotten they were all there!
I gave her a weak smile as tears stung my eye and looked back to the man who held my heart , and the man who was going to break it in a matter of seconds.
He met my eyes then , and everyone else disappeared…it was just me and him.

“I’m so sorry , Ella” he murmured , and I braced myself for the words. But they never came.
Instead , he-
“Oh My God!” I whispered as he sunk to one knee. My heart stopped beating for a few good seconds before his heart stopping smile had the opposite effect and restarted my heart.


“Rochelle Rogers….” He started after a deep breath
“…I can find no words to say what I feel , which is not normal for me , what with me being an author and all. So that must give you a pretty good idea of how you make me feel” he said and I just stared at him , transfixed , wondering if my eyes were deceiving me.
“…you probably thought I was going to break up with you before I went down on one knee…” he said , and I blushed.
“…and I should be hurt that you didn’t trust me enough , but I know you too well , and love you so much that I’m prepared to put up with all your insecurities.
I don’t really know what’s so special about you , but I’m planning to spend the rest of my life finding out.
I know I should’ve done this a lot sooner , but hey! Better late than never , right?
So , Ella , my love…will you make me the happiest man alive by doing me the extraordinary honor of being my wife?” he asked softly , producing a small velvet box , and I heard a small gasp from the people behind me.
I knew that nestled inside would be the most beautiful ring of all time , but I honestly wasn’t interested in having it as long as I could have the person holding it out to me, looking strangely like a lost little boy.


“Yes!” I squealed , grinning through the thick tears , and he jumped up , opening his arms at exactly the same moment that I threw myself at him.


“Thank you!” he breathed , grinning , as he slid the ring up my finger and kissed it.
I was vaguely aware of the people behind me who were cheering and clapping and wolf-whistling (Lance) , but none of that mattered…
One look , that was all it took ,
All the scorn , disgust and negligence went flying out the window ,
And I knew I would be cherished and loved so…

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