The room was painted a sunflower yellow and one wall was all glass. The walls were decorated with handprints, flowers, music notes, and old pictures. There were two large desks set up against opposite walls where Lyle and I did our writing. In the middle of the room was a coffee table surrounded by ten squishy chairs.


“What’s the story behind this place?” Amber asked.

“Well after we graduated high school, Lyle and I designed this room to be a hang out spot we could come back to on weekends. I could write over here,” I said pointing to one of the desk. “And Lyle could play and write music in that room.” I pointed to a door on Lyle’s side of the room.

“We used to have bunk beds in here for the weekends we would stay but as we got older Lyss used them for her twins.” Lyle walked around the room and smiled. “We had such good weekends in here. Remember those, Lyssie?” He asked using his daughter’s nickname for me.

I blushed and smiled. “Yea, I do.” I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “It was the weekends here that kept us sane after the stress of college.” Lyle laughed and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek.

“Okay would-be love birds. Show us the music room,” Sage interrupted with a laugh.

Lyle motioned for me to do the honors and I opened the red door to reveal the music room. The walls were painted dark blue and covered in music. There was a white grand piano in the middle of the room, a drum set near one wall, and three acoustic and one electric guitar hanging from hooks in the wall. Like the front room, one wall was glass and looked out onto the forest behind the house.

“You have quite the set up here, kids,” Skye said. “Is it just you that’s the musician, Lyle?”

“Well, of course not. Whatever I learned I would teach to Alyssa on our weekends here and vice versa. We are both musicians. Come here, Lyss. We’ll play them a song,” Lyle said. He grabbed one of his three acoustics and I went to sit at the piano. He played the familiar opening chords to the song I’d written for him when we were freshmen in high school. I joined in on the piano. I played through the whole song watching Lyle on his guitar, as I had back in college. He was so into his music that it was like the rest of the world had disappeared. I’d always wished I could be where he was when he played.

We finished and he looked up at me, eyes bright and smile on his face. There was clapping behind us and we turned to find that our group of listeners had grown. Wesley, Sera, and Kayla had joined us.


“That was incredible, kids,” Skye said. “The two of you are very talented. Ever think of taking that to a record company?”


“Skye, not everyone wants to be famous,” Sage scolded. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and make hot chocolate for the kids.” The group dispersed and Lyle and I were left alone in the music room.


“Well, that was interesting,” he stated as he came and sat next to me. He put his hands over top of mine on the piano. “Play something?”


I started out with something simple like “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and moved on to some of the songs Lyle had written for me. The pressure of his hands on top of mine made it harder to play but it was a fun challenge. I leaned back into Lyle as I finished the last song and looked up at him.


“This is so similar to our weekends here,” I finally said. He wrapped his arms around me and sighed.


“Yea, it is but back then neither of us had kids or spouses downstairs. We were completely carefree those weekends.” I nodded and we sat looking out the window for quite some time.
“Do you ever wonder what life would have been like without each other?” Lyle mused.
“IOnly in my darkest hours." I looked up at him. His dark eyes were glazed over and he had a fiant smile on his face. “Why do you ask?” He pondered this for a moment.
“Just wondering, I suppose. I don’t remember what it was like without you there I guess.” Lyle moved my hands off the piano and began to play absent-mindedly. There was a knock at the door and I jumped a little. Lyle just smiled and said,
“Come in.” A smiling Brianna skipped into the room.
“Auntie Alyssa?” She said in a singsongy voice.
“Yes, Brianna dear?” I replied.
“Will you and Daddy make cookies with me and Lyla?” She asked. Lyla, who hadn’t entered the room, peeked out from behind the red door and flashed her angelic smile. I smiled back and she came running up and jumped into my lap. I hugges her as Lyle picked up Brianna.
“We would love to, Brianna. Why don’t you two go wash your hands and we will be right down there.”
“Okay!” The girls rushed out of the room laughing. My smile faded as I looked at Lyle. He was staring at me with a look af pity.
“When are you gonna tell her, Alyssa?” I shook my head and stood up.
“She’s only eight, Lyle. I can’t do that. She’s too young to understand any of it.” He stood too and began walking downstairs.
“Whether you like it or not, Alyssa, we will being telling her before the weekend is over. She has a right to know.” With this ,Lyle left me in our music room by myself.

* * * * *

Half an hour later, Lyla, Brianna, Lyle, Claire, Tay, and I had two batches of chocolate chip cookies done and were in the middle of making three more. The girls had cookie dough all over their hands and clothes but were having fun. Amber had come in withher camera and was taking pictures of our every move. Lyle had found the radio station and was now singing along with it.

“By your side, whenever you fall, in the dead of night…” He sang. The girls laughed at the faces he made. I looked on with a smile.


“Hey, Alyssa.” Amber nudged me. She spoke softly so as not to interrupt Lyle and the girls. “How are you doing?” She asked, nodding towards Lyle.


“I’m fine, Amber. Shook up a bit but overall I’m doing just fine.” I looked at her and smiled. She just shook her head.


“It can’t be easy seeing your babies grow up so fast.” Amber paused to smile at Lyle who was eyeing us suspiciously. I continued to lay my cookie dough out on the sheets.


“Alyssa,” Amber said again. I glanced up and she held my eyes. “Just don’t let them grow up too fast without knowing their family.” I gave her a half-smile. The timer went off just then and interrupted what Amber was about to say. I took the cookies out of the oven, Amber switched them with a new batch, and Lyle took the new cookies off the sheets to cool. This assembly line went on in silence for the next half hour. The only sound was the girls talking. They were having a deep conversation about whether pink or purple was the better color.


“Pink is the best,” Lyla insisted. “It reminds me of bubblegum.”


“No, it’s purple,” Tay countered. “Purple is the color princesses wear!”


“Nu-huh! Barbie wears pink!” Claire put in. The trio continued to fight and I noticed that Brianna had gone strangely quiet. I walked over and sat down next to her. The girls had all been frosting the sugar cookies before being distracted by pink and purple. Brianna’s cookies remained frosting free.


“Now, honey,” I said. “How are we going to serve these cookies if they have no frosting?” She looked up at me with those sincere hazel eyes of hers. They filled with tears as she spoke.


“I can’t decide what colors to put on the cookies. What if I put blue but their favorite color was purple? They’d be sad and wouldn’t taste very good.” She frowned. A stray tear fell down her cheek. I pulled her into my arms and wiped the tear away.


“I have a solution for you.” Lyle looked at me; concerned as to why Brianna was crying but I shook my head. “How about we do a rainbow, Brianna?” She looked up with bright eyes, now free of tears.


“Then they would have all the colors!” She cried, delighted. Within minutes, all of her formerly plain cookies were colored in rainbow stripes. Each cookie had yellow, orange, blue, red, pink, and purple stripes. Brianna smiled proudly when Lyle came over to observe.


“Well, aren’t these pretty cookies,” he admired. “They are so very colorful. Good job, honey.” Lyle kissed her on the forehead. She smiled, hopped off her chair, and rushed into the living room to show off her cookies.


“You did a good job fixing that situation. She does that from time to time. Little things will set her off,” Lyle stated. He picked up the extra white frosting. Silently, I watched him take extreme care in writing on two of the cookies. He glanced up at me and then put his arm protectively around his work. I laughed and waited. Finally, he passed me a cookie. Mine said: “I love you.” His read: “Pinky promise.”


“You remembered that?” I asked, astounded. Just before he could answer though, a camera flashed. Amber stood across the island, smiling.


“Awe,” she said. “Aren’t you two cute?” Luca came up behind her. He was smiling but there was a guarded look to his eyes, as if he was hiding something. Luca looked at the picture and laughed. His cheeks were red and his hair was matter down with snow.


“How did the cookies turn out?” He inquired. In response, Lyla bounded over to him and offered a chocolate chip cookie.


“They’re yummy, Daddy!” She beamed. Luca picked her up. He took a bite of the cookie she still held and chewed.


“Hmmm.” Luca looked at her and then at me, “Hmm,” he said again. Lyla’s smile faltered until Luca took another bite.


“Now those,” Luca said. “Are some very delicious cookies. Who in the world made them?” He lifted up the table cloth to inspect under the table. “Are they hiding?” Lyla giggled. “Whoever made these deserves a big kiss!”


“Well, Luca,” Lyle started. “What if it was a group effort? Do I get a big kiss too?” They both laughed and Luca stuck out his tongue.


“I don’t wanna kiss Uncle Lyle,” Luca said to Lyla. “How about you do that for me?” She nodded with a smile. Lyle leaned over the island and tapped his cheek. Lyla kissed her finger and put it on Lyle’s cheek. She giggled.


“I kissed him for you, Daddy,” she declared, with a laugh. Lyle fake pouted.


“I don’t think that counts at all,” he said. From the corner of my eye, I saw Emily walk in the room. She looked at me and I nodded. At the same time, we kissed Lyle on his cheeks.


“I’m pretty sure that makes up for it,” Emily said. Lyle wrapped his arms around her and smiled.


“Fair enough,” he replied. A symphony of voices and shuffling feet came from the living room. The group was coming in from playing in the snow.


“Mom!” David and Evan yelled from the other room. “Mmmooommm!”


“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I said, walking towards them. “What is it, boys?” They were both dressed in matching black snow pants and camouflage coats. Their hats were missed and their ears were pink from the cold.


“We built snowmen!” David said.


“And snow kids too!” Evan added.


“You have to come see it,” they declared, simultaneously. They both tugged on my hands.


“Come on, mom!” Mason walked up. He held his coat out to me.


“It is pretty cool,” he said. “Go see it.”


“Thanks,” I replied, a little suspiciously. But I shrugged his coat on anyways. I followed the boys out to the back fence. Against the wall, they had built a snowman family. There were two larger snowmen and four smaller ones.


The boys must have gone inside before because each snowman had a scarf and a hat. They also had carrot noses and button eyes.


“Look, mom,” Evan said. “This one is you and this one is dad.” He pointed to the two bigger snowmen. “And then the little ones are-“


“Evan, me, Lyla, and Brianna,” David finished. I stepped back.


“Why did you include Brianna?” I asked, forcing a smile.


“Well, because she’s here enough to be our sister,” David answered.


“What about Tay?”


“Tay is more like our nanny.” Evan frowned. “Do you not like our snowmen, mom?”


“No, no. I love them.” I smiled. “They’re beautiful. We need a picture of them. I’ll go find Amber.”


“No need,” Amber sang, appearing from behind the house. “I heard your telepathic call.” The boys laughed at this.


“Well?” Amber asked. “Are you two ready for your picture or not?”


David and Evan quickly posed around their snowmen and flashed their smiles. As soon as the camera clicked, they were off and running again.


“Oh jeez,” Amber giggled.


“The more hyperactive they get, the older I feel,” I said, with a sigh.


“Oh please, darling. What are you? Twenty-two?” I laughed.


“I wish. Twenty-nine actually. Nice try though.”


“Alyssa Marie. We’re the same age! Are you calling me old?” I shook my head. “Then you say that again and I may have to start pointing out all the gray hairs on your head.” She turned and ran back to the house. I chased after her with a snowball.


“I do not have gray hairs, Amber!” I yelled. Just as she reached the doorstep, Wesley jumped out the door and held her for me.


“Hey!” Amber yelled as the first snowball hit her. She fought against Wes as much as was possible but she couldn’t get free.


I was still pelting Amber when someone tackled me from behind. I landed in the snow with a thud. My attacker rolled on top of me and wouldn’t let me up.


“What’s the magic phrase?” Mason asked.


“Oh please, Mason,” I replied. I now realized why he told me to go outside. “I will beat you up as soon as you get off me.” I struggled against his hands.


“Ha! I don’t think so. Now what’s the magic phrase??” I could hear the smug grin in his voice.


“You will not win this, Mason. One way or another I will get you back.” Mason obviously saw this as an empty threat because he started laughing. Laughing so hard he rolled off of me. I sat up and glared at him.


“What’s so funny?” I asked, smacking his arm.


“You are,” Mason finally gasped.


“Why?” I hit him again and at last, he stopped laughing. He gave me this serious look.


“I’m not afraid of you, Alyssa. You’re five inches shorter and thirty pounds smaller. What’s to be afraid of?” He started laughing again.


“I wouldn’t say that if I were you,” said Luca, coming up behind us. “She’s pretty scary when you challenge her.” He helped both of us up and looked at Mason seriously.


“I am not kidding.”


“And I am not afraid,” was Mason’s smug response. I turned my back on them and walked to the house.


“Oh you will be,” I called over my shoulder with a devious smile. “You will be.”

It was already seven o’clock by the time everyone had gotten inside and warmed up. Hayden had attempted to help in the kitchen again but all the came out of it was two broken plates. Amber, Hazelle, and I kicked him out directly after.


Dinner was uneventful aside from my boys’ account of their snowmen building. According to them, they had to wrestle a rouge snow-ninja fro the snow. They kept everyone entertained until dessert when they got slightly side-tracked by their ice cream.


After dinner, the family scattered to their various rooms to unpack and shower. Luca and I took our kids upstairs to shower in our room. Since we had so many people, the twins were sharing their room with Zak and Eli, Lyla hers with Tay, Brianna, and Claire.


By ten o’clock all the kids were in bed and I had just crawled under the covers. Luca slid his arm around my waist.


“Eventful day, wasn’t it?” He whispered, close to my ear.


“Mhhm,” was all I said. It was quiet for a few minutes.


“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” Luca asked, breaking the quiet.


“David and Evan’s snowmen.”


“You mean that they included Brianna?”


“Yea.” I sighed. “She doesn’t need to find out.”


“Honey,” Luca said. “Sometimes what you think is best for you isn’t always the best for other.” He kissed my cheek.



“Luca?”



“Yes, love?” He replied in a sleepy voice.



“Why were you upset in the kitchen earlier?” It took him a while to respond.



“I wasn’t,” was his answer but he let some of his old insecurity seep into his voice. I sat up.



“Baby, I love you. Only you,” I assured him.



“I know, but…” He trailed off and fell asleep. I sighed and flung my feet into my slippers. I silently walked downstairs to the kitchen.



Hayden, Lyle, and Amber were seated on the stools already. Amber had made coffee and there was one waiting for me.



“We knew you’d be down,” Amber smiled and pulled out a stool for me.



“Welcome, fellow non-sleeper,” Hayden exclaimed. Lyle just smiled to me.



“So what conversation have I interrupted?” I took a sip of my coffee. It was warm and sweet.



“We were discussing our plans for tomorrow. What do you think?” Lyle answered.



“Hmm… We certainly have to do something that will entertain the kids,” was my simple reply. We were silent for a few moments.



“How about a movie and an indoor picnic?” Hayden wondered aloud. Amber shook her head.



“Too mellow for our kids just yet.”



“Yes,” Lyle agreed. “They need something more active right now.”



“We could always go ice skating,” I said, suddenly.



“That’s a great plan! But I’m thinking we should save that for one of our last few days. The kids are going to be anxious and wanting to do something more active and eventful by then,” said Amber. We were silent again; each enjoying our coffee.



“I’ve got it!” Amber exclaimed suddenly. She had a devious smile on her face. We waited for an explanation but she said nothing more.



“Well?” Amber looked up from her coffee.



“What?”



“Are you going to explain?” Hayden inquired. Amber just looked at us.



“I can’t very well tell you, now can I? You’ll just have to wait until the morning.” She giggled. “Now, I have work to do. Go. Off to bed.” She shooed us out the room.



“Man, I feel like a little kid all over again,” Hayden stated. “Well, goodnight.” He walked into his room.



Lyle draped his arm over my shoulder. By unspoken agreement, we walked upstairs to our room.



I curled up on one of the squishy chairs with Lyle next to me. He held out his hand. I intertwined my fingers in his.



“I love you, Alyssa. You know that, right?” He looked at me with his big brown eyes, so unlike his daughter’s.



“Yes,” I replied, already drifting off to sleep.

* * * * *



I woke up still curled in the chair, with a blanket around me. Lyle was standing, looking out the window. He held a cup of coffee in his hands. He had a far off look in his eyes.



I stretched and stood up. I walked over to Lyle, wrapped my arms around his waist. He seemed startled at first to see that I was awake.



“Good morning, you,” I said. Lyle put his coffee down and hugged me back. Without a word, he took my hand and said,



“May I have this dance?” I laughed but nodded. Lyle spun me around the room a couple of times before stopping and hugging me again.



“You know, I really should go down to help with breakfast,” I stated, sadly. I didn’t want to end the moment. Lyle sighed.



“I know.” He kissed my forehead. I spun away from him, out the door, and right into Luca.



“Hey, love. I was just coming to help with breakfast,” I sputtered. Luca’s brown eyes were like ice when he looked at me.



“Good morning. Where were you last night?” He asked. His voice was light but I could hear the bitter tone he was hiding.



“I must have fallen asleep upstairs after coffee. I’m sorry, love.”



“Was anyone else with you?” The question seemed innocent enough but I knew Luca’s reason for asking. I had started walking down the stairs but I paused at his question.



“Well, yea,” I started, reluctantly. Luca’s eyes looked even colder. “Lyle was with me.”



“Oh,” was his simple response. I stopped and turned to look up at him.



“We were just catching up, Luca.”



“Ah. That’s what it was.” He pushed past me on the stairs and stormed into our room. I followed with a knife of panic and guilt wedged in my side.



“What are you talking about?” I asked, trying to steady my voice. I failed.



“Hmm? Oh nothing.” Luca pulled on his green long sleeve and looked at me, expectantly. I ignored him and got dressed instead.



“What did you see that upset you so?” I finally asked.



“See of what?” I just looked at Luca. “Oh! You mean, my wife sleeping in a room with someone who is supposed to be a friend of ours and not with her husband. Then waking up and dancing with him, still not bothering to come and see her family.” He paused to glare at me. “Yea, no big deal.” He quickly pulled on his jeans and left the room. I sighed. I knew he was going to be like this.

* * * * *



Half an hour later, I was downstairs pouring cereal for the kids. Amber had so much in store for us; she said we didn’t have the time to make breakfast.



I was just sitting down with my Raisin Bran when Mason plopped down next to me. His eyes were bluer than ever and slightly masked by his light brown curls. He stared at me for five minutes before I finally interrupted him.



“Have you gained any weight since high school?” I jabbed him in his skinny little side, but he just kept staring. Finally, I copied his pose and stared back at him, head in my hand.



“So,” Mason said, with a mischievous smile.



“So what?” I answered, matching his tone.



“So…I love you.” Mason smiled again.



“What do you want?”



“Why do you always assume I want something! Can’t I tell my friend since high school I love her?” I stared at him some more. “What?”



“Mason Skye. I know you better than that. What. Do. You. Want?” I took a bite of my cereal while he answered.



“Actually, I don’t want anything just yet. I wanted to offer some advice.”



“Oh?” He nodded, sending his curls flying. “Well, what would this advice be?” Mason took a breath before starting.



“It’s okay to love multiple people and to want to protect them. It really is but sometimes it’s better for everyone if you tell the truth. It’s like high school, love.” Mason paused. Without looking at me, he continued in a rush. “You loved all of us in high school and it turned out just fine…for most of us. It’s okay to again.” He stopped again, to look at me. With one hand under my chin, he lifted my head. “Alyssa, I love you. You’re a great friend but you’re hurting.” I opened my mouth to speak but Mason stopped me. “I need you to go visit him with me.” He whispered this last part.



“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t.”



“You and I both need to. Who knows when we’ll get the chance to again.” I was still shaking my head. “Please, Alyssa.” His voice broke on my name. I’m not sure whether it was the tears pooling in Mason’s eyes or my own desire but I reluctantly agreed.



“Fine,” I said. “I’ll go with you.” Mason gave me a small smile.



“Thank you.”



“Mmm…I’m regretting this already,” I mumbled as Mason went to get his keys. I got up to rinse my dished and ran into Luca on the way.



“Hey,” I said. He looked at me, cold anger in his eyes. “Mason and I are leaving for a little while. We should be back by lunch. Okay?”



“Fine. Where are you going?” Even Luca’s voice was bitter now. I sighed.



“It’s January, Luca. We’re going to visit him.”



“Ahh,” he replied. He turned and left with out as much as a goodbye. I sighed again. Mason appeared next to me. He held out my jacket.



“Is everything okay?” He asked, nodding toward Luca.



“Sure. Let’s go.” I shrugged on my coat and walked swiftly into the biting cold that waited outside. Already, tears were burning their way down my cheeks. We walked to Mason’s black Escalade and got in. We didn’t talk a lot on the way. Mason put on one of the CD’s I’d made for him in high school. I looked out the window, watching the frozen landscape pass by.



Just before we pulled in the driveway, Mason stopped the car and looked at me.



“It’s not your fault, you know. You’re the only one who still blames you. You have to let it go, Alyssa.”



“I know,” I lied. I gestured forward and Mason drove on. He parked the car. We got out and began our cold journey. Finally, we came to our destination.



I can’t do this, I thought. I could hear Mason whispering behind me but I didn’t turn around. I looked everywhere except for behind me. Mason’s hands were on my shoulders and he slowly turned me around. I took one last look at the rows of gravestones, took a deep breath, and finally looked down.



Even after eight years, the shock hit me again. A knife in my belly being twisted over and over. It had to be a nightmare. I would wake up with him lying next to me. I closed my eyes but the truth was still there when I opened them. I read the words carved on the concrete carefully, wishing it was all some terrible joke.



Brennan Anthony Matthews



March 26, 1996-January 13, 2018



Beloved son, husband, friend





My sobs broke the silence and I fell to the ground. Mason caught me. He held me while I cried.



“He promised me, Mason. He promised me he would come home,” I said, when I’d found my voice. “Why’d you break that promise? I needed you. You promised!” I yelled, speaking more towards Brennan than to Mason.



“I know, Alyssa,” Mason replied. “He promised us all. We never would have let him go if we’d known.” He was still holding me up but I spun on him.



“But he asked me, Mason. He asked me if I wanted him to go. And I said yes, I told him to go and live his dream. I was the one who told him to leave. I’m the reason he’s dead!” I broke down and cried again. Mason was holding me all the while. Finally, my tears subsided and I was able to stand by myself again. Mason let go of me but not before I saw his red eyes and tear stained cheeks.



“Mason, honey?”



“I miss him too, Alyssa. He was my friend since we were seven.” Mason sighed. “We need to get home. Your fingers are turning purple.” He took my hands in his. “Thank you for coming with me, Alyssa.”



“Of course, Mason.” I brushed his curls out of his eyes. “Come on. Let’s get home.”

It was lunch time when Mason and I finally returned home. Amber took one look at out pink ears and puffy, red eyes and had coffee in out hands a few seconds later. I took my seat next to Luca, who still wasn’t looking at me.



“Mommy!” Lyla yelled, bounding over to me. “You and Uncle Mason missed all the fun! We played laser tag downstairs and Brianna taught us how to make friendship bracelets.” She held up her arm, which was full of colorful bracelets she had made.



“Well, aren’t those pretty,” I said, with a smile. “Go sit down, honey. We’re about to eat.” She skipped back to her seat while I looked at Luca again. His fists were clenched under the table. I gently put my hand on his but he jerked away from me. I gasped. I watched as Luca’s eyes flashed quickly from anger to regret.



“I’m sorry,” he whispered, entwining his fingers in mine. His eyes were still cold and guarded but his voice was soft. I tugged my hand out of his and caught Lyle’s eyes. He looked concerned but I shook my head.



“So,” Lyle began, looking at Mason. “You two missed out on quite a bit.” Mason nodded.



“You’ll just have to catch us up on it.” He took a sip of his coffee and looked at me. I gave a half-smile in response.



“I’ll tell them about our day, Daddy!” Brianna piped up.



“Go ahead, sweetheart.” Next to me, Luca’s fists clenched even tighter. His hands had turned white. I brushed my fingers against the inside of his wrist. Brianna had been telling us about the day when Luca stood up. He stood so suddenly he knocked his chair over.



“Stop,” he whispered. Then with more force and volume. “Just stop.” Lyle made the mistake of standing too.



“Luca, Why don’t you and I go for a walk? Outside.” Luca shot him a look that could kill.



“Shut up, Lyle.” He said this through gritted teeth. I could tell he was trying very hard to keep his calm.



“Come on, Luca.” Lyle gestured towards the door. “Let’s go chat.” Luca looked as though he would follow Lyle but then Brianna tugged on Lyle’s hand.



“Daddy?” She whispered softly.



“Sit back down and finish eating, sweetheart.”



“Stop calling her that!” Lyle shouted. Everyone looked up at him, awestruck. “She’s not yours to call sweetheart.” He paushed and let out a shaky breath. Luca pointed to Brianna. “She is not your daughter.” A collective gasp went around the table as Luca stormed out.



It was silent for a moment until Brianna’s voice broke through.



“Daddy?” She pulled on Lyle’s hand again. “What does he mean?” Lyle stood in shocked silence. He caught my eye and I saw his panic.



“Brianna. Why don’t you come with me? I have some pictures to show you.” I was surprised to hear the words but even more surprised they were coming from me. Brianna looked up at me, slightly scared but more excited.



‘Oh…’ I thought. ‘She sees this as a joke.’



I began walking to my music room. Lyle, Mason, Kayla, and Briana followed. Behind us, I heard Amber getting the table back in order and lunch going.



Once in out room, Lyle and I both set out in search of the photo albums. I had scattered them around the room so they wouldn’t be found by curious eyes. Mason and Kayle sat with Brianna, keeping her calm until we had finally found all the albums.



I sat down on one side of Brianna with Lyle on the other. Just a few moments agoshe had been a million questions. Now she had only one.



“What did uncle Luca mean when he said I wasn’t your daughter?” She looked to Lyle but he nodded towards me. “Auntie Alyssa?”



“Well, Brianna,” I began. “He was telling the truth.” I paused and let this sink in for a minute.



“Whose daughter am I then?” Brianna seemed very unsure of where to look. She looked at all of us in turn before settling on me. I took a shaky breath and let it out.



“You’re my daughter, Brianna.” Her eyes went wide in shock then confusion and finally pain. I watched all this, wishing to take back my words. I opened the first album, already expecting her next question.



“Is uncle Luca my dad then?” I found the picture. We were standing under the oak tree in our snow covered front yard. There he was. Happy, smiling, and holding our baby girl. I was looking down at Brianna and he was looking at me. His long blonde hair hung down in his hazel eyes.



“No,” I finally managed. I brushed my fingers lovingly over the picture. “This is your dad.” She looked at the picture and gasped. She had the same blonde hair and hazel eyes as her father. I remembered how he and I used to talk of how she looked like him but she had my attitude.



“His name was Brennan Anthony Matthews.” Brianna kept staring at the picture in shocked silence. She had put her hand over the picture but she suddenly pulled it away, angry.



“Why hasn’t he been in my life then? You were! Even if you didn’t want me as a daughter, you were still there. Why didn’t he want me?” She glared at me but I couldn’t answer. The daughter I had always wanted thought I didn’t love her. She thought Brennan didn’t want her. With every minute, I wished we’d never had this conversation.



Mason, seeing my reaction, answered for me.



“Brianna, your daddy did want you. He was one of my closest friends. He thought the world of you. There isn’t a thing he wouldn’t have done for you. He-“ But Brianna cut him off.



“Then why isn’t he here?!” She challenged. Lyle answered this time.



“He died, sweetheart.” Hearing this, Brianna lost her anger very fast. “If you would sit down, darling, we would tell you everything.” She reminded me of a balloon. She sat down and looked…deflated. Her whole happy little world had been shattered. She took a breath.



“Will you tell me?” She was speaking to Lyle. He shook his head.



“I think it would be better for your mom to tell you.” Brianna turned to me. She was still glaring but it was softer.



“Do you think you’re ready, Brianna?”



“Yes, mom.” She put as much hatred and pain into the word ‘mom’ as she could. Tears pooled in my eyes but I started my story anyways.



“Your daddy and I were very young when we fell in love. We were only fifteen but I knew from the start that I wanted to marry him someday. We dated through most of high school and then he proposed after we graduated. We got married when we were nineteen and had you shortly after. This picture,” I said, pointing to the three of us on the page. “Was taken on his twenty-first birthday. You were only eleven months old at the time.” I paused and looked to Mason for help. He nodded and began where I left off.



“Brennan dreamed of going into the military since…well as long as I can remember. But when we were freshman in high school he was diagnosed with diabetes and his dream went out the window. He was incredibly upset about it at first but then Alyssa got him to see the bright side of it. It would give him more time with his family. And he was happy with that for a while. He married his high school sweetheart and had a baby girl. You.” Mason stopped. There were tears in his eyes too. Kayla put his arms around him and continued.



“It was shortly after they had you that it was found Brennan could be in the military. He hadn’t thought about it for a long time but he wanted it more than ever.”



“And I told him to go,” I interrupted. “I told him to go live his dream. That you and I would be fine, as long as he came back. Everything was perfect for a while. He was living his dream and I had mine.” I looked at my daughter. The glare was gone. She was hanging on our every word. “But good things don’t last. I got sick and couldn’t take care of you. That’s how Lyle and Emily got you. They took care of you while I got better. But then Brennan didn’t come home.” Lyle squeezed my hand.



“What happened to him?” Brianna asked. We all looked at each other, not entirely sure what to say.



“Well, honey,” Lyle began. “We aren’t really sure. He was,” he paused, searching for the right word. “Captured, I suppose. But he’s been gone for so long he’s presumed dead.”



“Oh,” came Brianna’s answer. I started flipping through photo albums, showing Brianna all of our pictures. Every photo I could find of Brennan was in these albums. I started in high school. Brennan and I from church, Breakaway, parties, homecoming, just hanging out. There were so many pictures, just as many stories, and Brianna wanted to hear them all. I began with how we met.



“We were in youth group and he leaned over and flicked me. When I asked him why years later, he said it was because he thought I was cute and wanted my attention.” I giggled, remembering the conversation. We had started dating later that year and we talked about how we met all the time.



“What was he like? My daddy.” Brianna’s voice had gotten a lot softer. She was still upset but she was distracted by our stories.



“Well, he was an idiot. He would do some of the stupidest things.”



“Like snorting Pixie Stix,” Mason chimed in.



“So did you! I had to take a whole bag from you freshman year.” I looked at my daughter seriously. “Don’t ever look to Mason as a role model. He was as bad as your dad in the stupid things they did.” She giggled.



“Tell me more.”



“He was very sweet and he would always listen to you if you wanted to vent. Even if he was mad at you. He was a good listener,” Kayla put in.



“He could be so cheesy at times. And sarcastic but he was always fun to talk to. In high school, he never looked at the bright side of things.”



“But your mom always tried to change that and eventually she succeeded. By junior year, he could find the bright side in most any situation,” Mason continued. Brianna nodded, taking this all in. She was no doubt building an image of the father she would never meet. She looked to Lyle.



“How come you haven’t said anything about…my dad?” Lyle shook his head and closed his eyes. When he opened them, I couldn’t read his expression.



“I never much liked him in high school but that was only because he took my best friend.” He half-smiled at me. “But I got along with him because he was dating Alyssa. The greatest thing he ever did for me was help create you. Other than that, I avoided him.” Lyle made a face and went back to looking out the window. Brianna had moved in the time we were story telling so I was sitting right next to Lyle. I took his hand.



“Sometimes I wish I’d been nicer to him. Wish I’d tried harder to like him,” he said, so only I could hear. “I just-I’m so sorry, Alyssa. I wish I’d seen how good or a person he was while he was still here. I wish-“



“I know, Lyle. It’s okay.” I paused, a bright side coming to me. “You made up for it thought.” He looked up.



“What do you mean?”



“You raised his only child, Lyle. That makes up for not being close to him in high school.” I watched as the smile slowly grew. Lyle looked at me, hope and calm in his eyes.



“I did, didn’t I?”



“Yes, you did. I’m sure if he could, he would thank you. And forgive you for anything you’re sorry about,” I reassured him. We glanced over at Brianna. She was curled up on Mason’s lap looking at pictures and listening to their stories of Brennan.



“And she turned out wonderfully, Lyle.” He just kept on smiling. We were silent for a while, listening to stories. Lyle looked at me suddenly.



“I want her to come live with you and Luca.” I was taken aback.




“You…what?”



“I want Brianna to live with you. I think it would be better for all of us. She would get to be with her mom and half-siblings, Luca wouldn’t be so mad at me, and I think Brennan would have wanted the two he loved the most together.” I was already shaking my head.



“I can’t take her from her family.”



“You are her family. She’s your daughter, Alyssa. I think you should be a mother to her. Not an aunt.”



“No, Lyle. You and Emily are the only parents she’s ever had. I can’t take that away from her. Besides, how would Calvin react if his sister was gone all of a sudden?”



“You aren’t listening to me, Alyssa Marie.” Lyle took my face in his hands. “You are her mother. If you keep pushing her away like this she’s going to grow up and think you never wanted her. Her insecurities are going to revolve around her mother having another family but not enough time or love for her. That is the last thing you want to happen.”



Luca chose this moment to walk into the room. He seemed to have lost his anger but his eyes flashed when he saw Lyle and I. I untangled myself and stood up.



“Can I speak with the two of you?” He nodded to Lyle and me. “Alone.” Mason and Kayla stood. Mason had Brianna in his arms. She looked over his shoulder and smiled at me before they disappeared behind the door.



In front of me, Luca was bouncing on the balls of his feet. His hands were gripping the seam of his pants so tightly his knuckles were white.



“Luca?” His head snapped up.



“Wha-what?” He was still bouncing.



“Are you high?” Lyle asked at the same time I said,



“Oh my gosh…” Luca started laughing hysterically.

“Are you high?” he mocked. “Yes, Lyle. Yes, I am.” He turned to me. “I went to see Gryphen.”



“Oh my gosh…” I repeated. Gryphen was his long time high school friend. He was the one who’d originally gotten Luca into his drugs.



“Why?” Lyle demanded. Luca kept silent, bouncing.



“Why?” He demanded again, louder. Luca burst out laughing again.



“Why the hell not? My wife is going to leave me for her best friend and she won’t telll her daughter anything. How could my life get any better?!” Luca kept on laughing.



“Why the hell not?” He whispered, serious now. Luca stopped bouncing and looked at me.



“You’re leaving me.” His voice was broken and insecure. I brushed my fingers against his face.



“No, I’m not leaving you.” My fingers reached his chin. I brought my hand back and slapped him. “But I might be better off if I did.” He gasped at my hit.



Before Luca could respond, Mason and Adel rushed in.



“Damn it, Luca,” Adel said.



“Seriously. Again? How are your kids going to turn out when their father is a stoner?” Mason asked.



“I’m not a stoner,” Luca whispered.



“Look at yourself, Luca. You’re a mess. Your wife isn’t there one night and you start freaking out and get yourself high.”



“She’s gonna leave me!” Luca shouted, in response.



“What makes you think that? Alyssa absolutely adores you!” Adel shouted back. Lyle and I just stood there, as if we were only spectators to my husband’s breakdown.



“I’m competing with a damn ghost!” At this, Luca finally broke down and cried. Adel held him up, while Mason stared at me, eyes wide.



“Youre…what?” Mason asked, still looking at me.



“I’m competing for her love and attention with his ghost,” Luca answered. His voice broke but he held back his sobs.



“Whost ghost, Luca!” Adel practically shouted, again. I knew from the panic in his eyes that he understood who Luca was talking about but he wanted to hear it out loud.



“Brennan’s!” A shocked silence descended over the room.



“No-no you’re not,” I sputtered.



“I am too,” Luca was back to whispering. “You won’t ever love me the way you loved him. He was everything to you. The only reason you came to me after Brennan was because you knew I’d never given up on you. You never loved me. You just needed someone to relieve your lonely emptiness. I kept you company and that’s why you married me. You felt you had to make up for what you did to me in high school. You gave me the only family I had ever wanted but it wasn’t how I wanted it, Alyssa. I didn’t want you to feel forced to keep me happy. I always loved you. Only you but it hurts so much to see you unhappy yourself. It hurt me to know you would never love our kids the way you do Brianna. And what hurt even more was that you wouldn’t be a part of her life. The only child in your mind was the one you wouldn’t raise. It hurt-“ Luca trailed off. I began to see what had happened. All of the anger and pain Luca had held in the past seven years had finally boiled over. But I couldn’t even tell him he was wrong. I was shocked by how much truth he knew.



We all stared at each other after Luca’s outburst. Adel had the idea to leave Luca and me alone. I heard them shut the door but I couldn’t move.



After what seemed like hours, Luca moved towards me. I reached out for him and hugged him to me.



“I’m sorry, Alyssa. God, I’m so sorry,” he whispered in my ear. He kept his apologies up until I hushed him. I pressed my lips against his. His mouth was wet with tears and a few of my own tears fell. It didn’t matter what I said. Luca would never understand how much I had always loved him.



He pulled away and looked into my eyes.



“You’re eyes are so damn beautiful when you cry-“ Luca started.





“So I’ve been told.”



“But I wish you wouldn’t cry,” he finished. I held his head gently in my hands.



“I love you, Luca,” I began. “I promise you that. You aren’t competing with a ghost and I’m not leaving you. Yes, I loved Brennan with all I had but he’s not here anymore. You are. You are the one I’m going to grow old with. You are the one I’m happy with.” Luca smiled at me but there was still a hopeless sad reflected in his eyes.



“Come on, Luca. Believe me.” I caught a glimpse of the clock behind Luca and found it was already 9:30. We had missed dinner but neither of us cared. Luca held out his hand. We walked down to our room. The door shut and locked behind us. Luca kissed me slowly.



“I love you,” he whispered against my mouth.

* * * * *



I woke up the next morning to a knock on our door. Luca, who was already awake, sat up beside me.



“Come in,” he called. Lyle walked in carrying two cups of coffee, yogurt for Luca, and half an English muffin for me.



“I’ve come with a peace offering,” he said. Lyle handed us the try and stood silently as we ate.



“What are you offering peace for?” I asked. “Wow…That didn’t come out the way I wanted it to at all.” The men laughed at my expense but I didn’t mind. I was glad to have them laughing together.



“Well, to say I am sorry.” To Luca, he said, “I shouldn’t have let Alyssa fall asleep upstairs with me. I’m sorry.” Luca’s eyes narrowed but he nodded his head. Lyle turned to me.



“I’m sorry about what I said yesterday. I had no right to.” Luca looked at me curiously.



“What-what did he say?”



“Nothing,” I said through gritted teeth. I was too busy mentally stabbing Lyle to try and conceal my anger. Luca turned to Lyle instead.



“What did you say?”



“I simply suggested that Brianna come and live with her mother.” I turned in time to see Luca’s eyes light up.



“That’s perfect! Why would you apologize for that?” I felt as if they didn’t even know I was there. Lyle looked puzzled as he answered.



“Well, Alyssa says she doesn’t want to take her baby girl from her family.” Luca stared at me in astonishment.



“Tell me he’s kidding.” I didn’t say anything and Luca finally turned back to Lyle.



“We’ll talk about it. Your peace offering was accepted. Thank you.”



“You’re welcome,” Lyle responded and walked away. They sounded like businessmen when they talked to each other. I sighed.



I couldn’t even be mad at Lyle because I knew he was only trying to help.



Luca wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head on my shoulder.



“Honey…” he started.



“Don’t even, Luca,” but my voice was lost to his kiss.



“Good morning,” he said, as he pulled away. I was confused for a moment.



“What?”



“I said good morning.” His deep brown eyes shone with happiness. It was the best mood I’d seen him in all weekend. He leaned in and kissed my nose.



“I love you, Luca.”



“I love you too, Alyssa darling.” Luca put his arms under my knees and my back. He scooped me up and walked to our bathroom. Luca sat me down on the edge of the tub, elbows head in his hands.



“Darling,” he started again. He took my arms in his hands and rubbed his thumbs against the inside of my wrists, over the faint pink lines that were scarred there.



“I love you and I will back you up on all of your decisions.” He paused. “Except this one. I won’t let you push you own daughter away.” He stopped, waiting for me to argue. When I didn’t, Luca sighed.



“You want her to come live with us, Alyssa. I can tell. The only reason you’re fighting it is because you’re afraid it’s too late. You’re afraid of not being a good enough mother but you’re wrong. You’ve been a wonderful mother to our kids. What makes you think raising Brianna will be so much harder?” I sighed. It was amazing how many things he had right about me.



“I don’t know, Luca. I just-it’s because I had you with me raising our ids. I don’t have Brianna’s dad.” His eyes flashed at this but I rushed on. “Lyle has been the closest thing for her. I can’t take that from her.” I stopped, fighting back tears. “I want her so bad. I would give anything to go back and have been the one to raise her but I can’t have that,” I spoke truthfully. Luca put his palm against me cheek, catching the stray tears that fell.



“I know, baby. I know.” We sat like this for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Luca pulled his hand back and sighed.



“What else is on your mind, love?” I asked.



“I’m sorry about yesterday, darling. I shouldn’t have.” I shook my head.



“It’s a new day, Luca.” I stood up. “Now, we need to get off these upsetting topics. Come on.” I held out my hand. Luca took it and I hauled him up. Without warning, he tossed me over his shoulder.



“Luca!” I exclaimed. “What in the world are you doing?” I was giggling but fighting against Luca too. “Put me down,” I demanded. But it was pointless. Luca carried me all the way to our twins’ room. David and Evan were awake and jumping around already. Zak and Calvin were seated on the floor, laughing at something the twins had just done. The sight of us triggered a fresh wave of giggles.



Luca flopped me down on the top of the twins’ bunk bed. I landed with a thud next to Evan. I grabbed him and started tickling. I heard Luca behind me, scoop up the three boys and they landed next to me as well. Luca stood on the ground and tickled the boys too.



It wasn’t long before our commotion drew attention from Amber and her camera. Several clicks were heard before David finally rolled over.



“What are you taking pictures of?” He looked at Amber with a look so serious for a seven year old that Luca and I burst out laughing again. There were a few more camera clicks before Amber answered.



“I’m documenting the moment, darling. Do you not want to be able to look back at this someday?”



“But can’t I just remember it in my head?” David asked. Amber laughed at his logic.



“Well, sure but taking a picture means you can show your kids one day.”



“Oh,” came David’s reply. “Okay.” He shrugged and went to jump on the twins’ mini trampoline. Amber looked from David to me and back again before breaking out in laughter. I giggled too and soon the whole room was laughing hysterically.



A thought occurred to me in that instant; a memory of a rough unhappy time. The thought stopped my laughter and took my breath away. But I recovered before Luca could notice.



I hopped off the bed. Everyone had calmed down enough that I could speak.



“We should probably get down to brunch. Boys,” I said, addressing the four of them. “Why don’t you get dressed please?” Luca and Amber followed me out of the room. The smell of cinnamon and coffee wafted up from the kitchen. I turned to Amber.



“What do you have in story for us today, dear?” She looped her arm through mine.



“Well, I was thinking today we could go ice skating and then have a fire out back. You still have that lovely fire pit, don’t you?”


“Of course we do,” Luca answered. “Alyssa adores it.” He smiled at me. “But the seating is going to be covered in snow.” Amber waved that away.



“Snow is easy to clean off. We’ll grab some blankets and we’ll be fine. Cya.” She walked into her room. Luca laughed.



“That woman…” We retreated to our room to get dressed. Luca pulled on his usual attired, a long sleeve shirt and dark jeans, and sat to watch me do my makeup.



“I find it so fascinating warching you,” he laughed.



“I find it so irritating that you do.”



“Please,” Luca said, moving closer. “You love it.” I softly shoved him away.



“Will you leave and let me get ready?” We both laughed.



“Of course, m’lady.” He smiled as he backed out the door. I giggled to myself.



‘And to think I once was stupid enough to lose him…’ I thought. A sad smile played at me lips.



There was a knock at my doorway. I turned to find Mason giving me a curious smile.



“What?” I asked, as he walked in and sat on the edge of my counter.



“Oh, nothing.”



“No, seriously. What?” He shook his head.



“Just noticing that you finally got your prince and your castle.” I smiled.



“I suppose I did, didn’t I?” I paused. “At least you don’t watch me do my makeup.” He laughed.




“Alyssa,” Mason started, turning serious. “Do you ever think about how changed out lives?” I shook my head.



“What do you mean?”



“None of us would be here without you. You are the one who wanted a castle-like house, you are the one who wanted a family of best friends, you are the one who got us all here. It’s all you, Alyssa. Without you, this wouldn’t be happening. If you’d given up in high school, you wouldn’t have gotten us here and we wouldn’t be the family we are today. You created this.” Mason stopped and looked at me. “You realize that, don’t you?”



“You just want to hear me say you were right and I was wrong.” Mason shook his head.



“Oh, Alyssa.” He stood to the sound of Sage’s dinner bell. He bowed and held out his hand for me. “May I escort you, m’lady?” He asked, mocking Luca. I curtsied and took his hand in response.



“Oh aren’t you two cure,” Amber laughed as we walked in. She snapped our picture. Mason escorted me to my seat, next to Luca. The two of them laughed.



“She makes a good princess, doesn’t she?” Luca teased.



“That’s it!” Amber exclaimed.



“What?” Emily asked, slightly confused.



“We’ll have a date night! Tableclothes, candles, fancy meal, fancy clothes. The whole shabang.” Amber smiled proudly. “Tonight! After ice skating. And,” she continued, her idea growing bigger. “Everyone will draw names out of a hat. Kids in one and adults in another.”



“Oh that’s brilliant!” Kayla gushed. Nick nodded.



“It’s certainly something we’ve never done before.” Amber was still smiling as she rushed off to put names into hars.



“She is too cute,” Kayla giggled. I glanced over at Mason. He was sitting next to his twin brother. They were wearing…



“Ohmygandhi!” I exclaimed. Everyone looked at me.



“What?” Lyle asked.



“You two,” I said, pointing. “Match. How am I ever gonna tell the difference between you now?” They both laughed at me.



“Well…” one said standing. “You may just have to…”



“Kiss us and whoever is better is Mason,” the other smiled. Everyone laughed.



“You are most certainly Mason,” I decided, pointing to the twin that had spoken last. “Now you have to go change! I can’t play this guessing game again.” The brothers laughed at me but Wes went to change his shirt. Even haven grown since high school, Mason and Wes were still very hard to tell apart. They had loved switching places with each other in school. It irritated everyone to no end.



Sage came out of the kitchen then, arms heavy with platters. My two daughters trailed behind her. On the platters were bagels, muffins, and cinnamon rolls. There were also pitchers of coffee and orange juice.



“I always feel like we’re at a restaurant when we stay here,” Nick stated. I smiled.



“That’s exactly how I want it to feel! You are staying at a castle.” Over the years, my house had come to be known as “The Castle.” It was a huge three story house with twenty plus bedrooms, an art studio, a music room, an in ground pool and a hot tub in the backyard, a rec room, and a furnished basement complete with a laser tag course.



“Again with getting your dream,” Mason smiled. “Seems as though 11:11 wishes really do come true.” I just beamed in response.



Amber returned with two hats then. Sage prayed and we began eating. I poured myself another cup of coffee and sat back.



“You know what this reminds me of?” Brianna asked, suddenly.



“What, dear?” Emily replied.



“This reminds me of Hogwarts. Like, the feasts they had.” We all laughed.



“She is so your daughter,” Lyle said to me. Brianna’s smile faltered but came back brighter than ever.



“You know, Brianna,” I said to her. “That is precisely how I was hoping it would be.”



“Wait,” David said, looking confused. “She’s whose daughter?”



“And what is Hogwarts?” Evan finished. Wes nudged Mason.



“Remember when we used to do that?” Mason laughed in response.



“Brianna is my daughter. And Hogwarts is the magic school in a book called Harry Potter,” I responded. I took a sip of my coffee and waited for this to sink in.



“But I thought-“



“She was Uncle Lyle and Aunt Emily’s daughter…?”



“Well, she is our daughter,” Emily said. “But we adopted her. She’s truly your mom’s/”



“You know I’m sitting right here?” Brianna stated. Her attitude made me smile.



“Shhh,” Lyle teased. “They don’t need to know that.” Lyla gasped.



“That means you’re my sissy!” She exclaimed, beaming. For telling my family they had another sister, this was going quite happily and the mood was light.



“And you aren’t mine,” Little Calvin noticed, sadly.



“Actually,” Brianna started. “I am still both your sister. Alyssa is my real mom so you three,” she pointed to my twins and Lyla, “Are my real siblings. And you, Calvin, are my adopted brother. So that just makes me part of two families.”




“That is a wonderful way to look at it, honey,” Emily said.



“Bravo,” Wes ruffled Brianna’s long blonde hair.



“Anyways!” Amber interrupted. “Lighter topics. In these hats,” she held two black fedoras up. “I have the names of all the girls. The boys will pick the name of a girl. Adults you have to ask in some extravagant way. Kids you will just have to ask the girl you pick.” MAber began walking around the table.



“Well. This should be fun,” Skye observed. Everyone nodded their agreement.



“Claire!” Davey called across the table. “Will you be my date?” Clair turned bright red and nodded with a huge smile. I leaned over to Luca.



“Suppose Claire has a crush on David?” Amber giggled from behind me. She held out the hat to Luca.



“Of course she does. David is quite the charmer.” Luca pulled a name our and sat back and smiled.



“You gonna tell me who you got?” I asked.



“Of course not.” He smiled, deviously. Across the table, Mason wiggled his eyebrows at me.



“We can’t tell, darling Alyssa,” he said. “It wouldn’t be as fun and now we can switch names without anyone being the wiser.”





“You most certainly cannot,” Amber chimed. “As self-appointed activities director, I will be writing down the names you picked.” A chorus of ‘boo’s’ sounded all around the table.



“That’s taking the fun out of it, honey,” Adel whined.



“Yea, don’t you trust us?” Mason raised his eyebrow at Amber.



“You? No.” Mason fake pouted at her answer. “But fine. I’ll let you all cheat then.”



“Aren’t you sweet?” Wes joked.



“Now, now.” Skye interrupted. “Come on, boys. We have some planning to do.” All of the men rose from the table and followed Skye upstairs. The kids took this as their permission to leave and they rushed off to the playroom.



“Well, looks like that leaves us, ladies. What are we doing today?” Sage inquired.



“Amber and I were thinking we’d go ice skating,” I answered. I took the final sip of my coffee.



“And you all will. But I have to stay here and get a few things done,” Amber said. She stood and began clearing off the table.



“Oh, nuh-uh, honey.” Kayla rejected. “You will be going with us.” It’s only 10:30. We leave by 11:30, go ice skating for a couple of hours, and still make it back in time to get everything ready.” Amber still looked doubtful.



“Come on, Amber. The guys are all gonna go with us too.”



“But what about Gracey?”



“I’ll watch her,” I volunteered. “I’m not too good at ice skating anyways.” Amber opened her mouth to make up another excuse. “No exceptions. We need a family outing! All twenty-six and a half of us.” We smiled as Sera and Amber reluctantly agreed.



“When are you due, anyways?” Hazelle asked.



“Any day now, actually.” Sera sat back and rubbed her bulging stomach.



“You’ve been awful quiet all weekend. Is everything okay?” Our group had dwindled to only eight of us. We moved our pow-wow to the kitchen and began cleaning up.



“Oh everything is fine,” was her answer but her voice gave her away.



“Sera, darling. We have all known you a whole lot longer than that.” We all looked at her seriously. “What’s going on?” Sera sighed.



“I’m having triplets.”



“Oh, Sera-“



“That’s wonderful-“



“Congratulations!”



“Yes, but why are you upset about that?”



“It’s just that-well, I’m afraid Wes isn’t excited.”



“Of course he’s excited!” Kayla countered.



“That’s not entirely what I mean. He-when I told him, he seemed almost disappointed. He never acted the fatherly tupe. I’m afraid of him…” she trailed off. A few tears aplattered on the counter top.

“Oh, honey.” Sage walked over and hugged Sera. “Darling, am I a good judge of character?” Sera nodded against Sage’s shoulder. “Do you suppose I would have let Wes anywhere near you if I’d thought he wasn’t good enough?” Sera gave a small smile.



“No. I suppose you’re right.”



“Suppose? When have I been wrong?” This got us all laughing.



“Well, we need to all get ready,” Amber said. She clapped her hands. “Come on, kids. Let’s go.” She smiled as we left.



“I got the guys,” I called out.



“I’ll grab the kids,” Kayla called back. I walked upstairs and for the first time noticed how quiet my house was. I stopped just outside of the den. Inside, the men had covered up their conversation with the radio.



‘Geez.” I thought. ‘They really didn’t want us to hear what they were plotting.’ All of a sudden I was grabbed from behind. I gasped.



“Trying to spy on us?” Hayden growled in my ear. I laughed and shoved myself away form him.



“No, actually. Just coming to tell you all that we’re leaving in half an hour.” I opened the door to the den. Skye skillfully threw a blanket over the table.



“Yes?” He asked.



“I have come to tell you that we are going ice skating and we leave in half an hour.” Skye opened his mouth to object but I didn’t let him. “And there’s no begging out of it. Even Amber has to go.” Skye shut his mouth and frowned.



“Well, I suppose we will just have to scheme on the way there,” Skye relented.



“But if we are being forced to go,” Wes said, dramatically. “Then we will be taking the Hummer.”



“What? No!” Wes looked at me curiously.



“Fine,” I finally said. Wes stood and did a victory dance.



“Win!” He beamed at me.



“Yea, whatever.” I glared at him. “Let’s just go.” Wes draped his arm around my shoulders.



“Oh don’t be so bitter, Lyssa.” Mason was beside me a moment later. He wrapped his arm around my waist.



“You know we’re only messing with you.” I spun out of their reach.



“Let’s go, Zak and Cody.”

The ice skating rink was fairly empty for January. Each of the kids was paired with a buddy and it was safe to let them wander. I had volunteered to stay with Gracey so Sera and I went to hang out in the café. Amber followed behind.



“Are you sure, Alyssa?” Amber asked for the seventh time. “I mean, I can stay with her. It’s no big deal.”



“Amber. You have been working and running around all weekend. Go. Relax. Have fun.” I gave her an encouraging smile and she finally left.



“That woman,” I said to Sera. “I swear. How about you find us a couple of chairs and I’ll get us drinks?” She nodded and walked off. I looked down at Gracey in my arms.



“Well, how about it, Gracey? You want some coffee too?” She blinked at me. “That’s what I thought.”



I ordered our drinks and found Sera tucked into one of the café’s armchairs. I handed her, her hot chocolate.



“Thanks,” she said. I positioned myself with Gracey on the last section of the couch. The Ice Rink Café was all very mismatch. The walls were a half cherry wood and half paisley. Each grouping of chairs and couched were of different fabrics and patterns. But through all the mismatching, the café made the best coffee around.



“How you been holding up, Sera?” She took a sip of her hot chocolate before answering.



“Oh fine, ya know. We and I have been incredibly busy buying stuff for the baby and what not.”



“Have you talked about names yet?” I took out one of Gracey’s bottles and lay her against my arm.



“Gosh. It’s been so long since I’ve done this,” I observed. Sera laughed.



“Wes and I have looked at names but its kind of hard to pick names with triplets. Wes is hoping for all boys.”



“Oh. So you’re leaving it a surprise?”



“He is,” she smiled. “I’m having all boys but I won’t tell him.” Tay, Claire, Brianna, and Lyla rushed in just then.



“Alyssa! Sera!” Tay shouted. Her voice echoed around the mostly empty café.



“Tay. Shhh.”



“Sorry,” she frowned. “Anyways! Guess what just happened!”



“What, dear?”



“Zak and Lyla are dates. Claire and David are. Evan and Brianna and me and Calvin!” The girls beamed.



“Oh that’s so exciting, girls.”



“But we don’t have anything to wear!” Tay puted.



“Oh, Tay,” Sera giggled. “I just happen to have your dresses. From when you lived with me. I was bringing them back and I’m sure we can find one that will fit each of you.” The girls rushed off, already brainstorming their perfect dresses.



“I never thought I’d hae to deal with all this dress stuff so soon. Homwcoming is still years away,” I sighed. Sera giggled again. We sat in silence for a while, drinking our coffee.



“So, Alyssa…?” Sera started. “Wes and I have been talking and we were wondering if you would be the boys’ godmother?” A slow smile lit up my face.



“Oh, Sera. I would love to!” Wes came up behind me and massaged my shoulders.



“Well, that’s great,” he said. “Because we weren’t going to take no for an answer.” We laughed as the rest of our crew file din. I looked at the clock. It was already 2:45 p.m.



“Wow! It got later!” I exclaimed.



“Yea,” amber said. “About ready to head home, everyone?” Mumbled ‘yes’s came from our group. We bought the kids hot chocolate, packed up, and headed out to the car. The Hummer was decorated in balloons, window paint, and streamers.



‘Will you accompany me to the banquet?’ it read. The men came out from behind the car, each with a box of chocolater and a rose. We giggled at them. They really were taking this banquet seriously. They stood in a line, each waiting their turn. First was Wes. He strutted up to Kayla and held out his rose.



“Kayle Kaine. Will you give me the honor of going to the banquet with me?” He held out his hand.



“Why, of course,” Kayla answered, taking his hand. This routine continued until everyone had a date. Wes with Kayla, Mason with me, Lyle and Arabella, Luca and Amber, Adel and Emily, Skye and Sage(althought I’m sure Skye cheated this), Hayden and Sera, and finally Nick and Hazelle.

* * * * * *

Three hours later, the smell of food mixed with hairspray covered every inch of the house. The girls were running around, barefoot, in the little dresses; their hair pulled back into stylish updos. The women were drinking cofee and watching the girls dance around my music room. After we had gotten home, the men and Amber had banned us to the upstairs to get ready. Between Hazelle and I, we had come up with enough dresses for everyone to wear.

"Oh, girls," Hazelle laughed. "Doesn't this remind you of homecoming? The rushing to get ready. Fancy dresses, hyper excitement, and the god awful waiting?" We nodded and laughed our agreements.

"Homecoming was always so fun!" Kayla giggled. After half an hour more of waitng, the first knock came on our door. The girls froze in their game of tag and then ran behind to hide behind the couches. I slowly opened the door to see the boys lined up outside. They were each dresses in black slacks and a button down shirt. (Where they found these, I will never know.) My sons stepped forward.

"We're here-" David started.

"To pick up the girls-"

"And escort them downstairs," Evan finished. I shrugged my shoulders and turned around to the girls.

"What do you think, girls?" I asked. "Do you want to go downstairs with them?" I was answered with high-pitched giggles and shouted 'yes's. "Oh, okay. I suppose you can take them," I said, turning to the boys again. We watched in amusement as our children lined up arm in arm and walked down the stairs.

"Oh, they are simply to young for this!" Sage frowned. "I remember having to do this with Mason and Wesley but they had been fourteen!' I laughed.

"Sage. They are only going downstairs and we will be with them." Sera raised her eyebrows. "You aren't that worried about them, now are you?" Sage shook her head, sending her curls flying.

"Still, they are just so young."

"Oh hush," I said, pouring her more champagne. We chatted and drank and laughed for a while longer until Amber finally showed up. She snapped casual, un-posed pictures of us.

"My god, Amber," Emily said, turning from the camera. "Are the men ever going to show up?" Just then the lyrics of "All-Star" interrupted our little party. Mason walked into the room with a boombox held up on his shoulder, blasting the song.

"What'd you say?" He yelled. He punched a button and the music cut off. The guys filed in, dressed the same as the boys. "So, are you girls ready to go yet?" I raised my eyebrows at Mason.

"You're kidding me, right?" Luca hushed my protest with a kiss.

"Just kidding!" He said.

"Hey!" Mason exclaimed, jumping between us. "My date. You can't have her back until 10:30." Mason smiled, deviously, hooked my arm through his, and dragged me away from Luca.

"Muahahahaha." He laughed. I just shook my head at him. I gasped when I caught sight of the dining room. Amber had taken the long table and draped a white lacey tablecloth over it. There were chine plates set up at every place setting and glasses, already filled with a dark red liquid. The lights were dimmed and candles stood in the middle of the table. She had made roast turkey, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, stuffing, rolls, and so many other things. It was incredible how much she had gotten done in only a few hours.

"Wow," I finally managed, as Mason pulled my chair out for me. I sat down and he took his seat right next to me. I took a sip of my wine, as we waited for everyone to file in and find thier seats.

"This is incredible, Amber!" Emily exclaimed.

"How in the world did you pull this off in such a short time?" Sage asked.

"Oh you know," Amber wiggled her fingers and raised her eyebrows. "Magic." She blew a kiss at Claire, who giggled. Sage prayed and we began our feast. Amber turned on piano concertos in the background. It was everything a romantic yet still family banquet should be. And every moment was captured on film by Lyle.

"So, Sera?" Nick began. "I hear you have news for us?" We all turned to Sera, who blushed.

"Why yes, yes I do." She took a final sip of her grape juice(as she was pregnant she couldn't drink with us). "I am having triplets!" She exclaimed.

"Holy cow!" came Mason's tactful answer. I nudged him in the side. "Um, congratulations I mean! that's so cool," he recovered. I leaned close to whisper to him.

"Seems as though you'll be playing a very helpful part as the uncle, correct?" He beamed at me.

"Are you kidding me? The more kids Wes and Sera have, the more I get to spoil them. I'm going to be the best uncle these kids could have." I smiled my response. Mason had changed a lot since high school.

'Congratulations' were murmured from around the table. Hayden tapped his knife against his wine glass.

"I have some news too." He galnced at Hazelle. "Hazelle, would you do me the great honor of marrying me, again?" Hayden smiled and held out a ring box to her. Amber snapped a picture.

"Ohh, Hayden." Hazelle looked as though she might have cried. Hayden and her had never got to have a real wedding due to rough circumstances. "Of course I would." Hayden slipped the ring on her finger and they kissed. Amber snapped more pictures.

"That is it with that dang camera," Wes mumbled and got up to take it from her. Through all the chaos, I heard the phone ring. I tapped Mason's arm.

"I'll be right back," I said. He nodded. I managed to escape from the table, through all the happiness.

'Who could be bothering us during this incredible weekend?' I thought.

"Hello?" I answered. A gruff male voice replied back.

"Hello. Is this Mrs. Alyssa Carmichael?" I walked into the kitchen and shut the door behind me.

"Yes, yes this is. May I ask who is asking?"

"Ma'am, this is Agent McFarson from the CIA. Do you know of a Brennan Anthony Matthews?" My breath caught in my throat and it took me a while to choke out a response.

"Yes," I finally managed. 'Oh god,' I thought. 'This is it. This is when I find out how my love died.'

"Ma'am. Would you be able to come down to my office? We have a few things to talk to you about."

"Yes. When can I come?" A fluttering started up in my chest and my breath came shallower.

"If it isn't too much of an interruption, ma'am, we would appreciate you coming now." He gave me his office address and we hung up. I walked back into the dining room in a haze. Everyone was so focused on the meal and their happiness that I thought it best not to bother them. Instead, I grabbed my keys and my coat and rushed out to the Hummer.

* * * * * *

Forty-five minutes later, I was seated in a large armchair inside Agent McFarson's office. I had a cheap cup of coffee in my hand. Agent McFarson was a large man. He had short brown hair and a soft face, despite his muscular body. He shuffled papers behind his oak desk. Finally, he cleared his throat.

"Mrs. Carmichael," he began. "Some intellingence about your husband has come to our attention." I was so nervous that I didn't bother correcting him.

"What-what is it?" I asked.

"Well," and he paused again.'Get to the point already,' I thought. Agent McFarson stood. "Ma'am, will you please follow me?" He took me down a long hallway and passed more closed doors than I could count. Finally, he stopped in front of one labeled 'Psychiatric Unit". My breath caught again as he opened the door and led me down another hallway. Agent McFarson paused outside of room 317. He turned to me. He started talking to me; something about identifying the person inside but I wasn't listening. I nodded my head and he eventually opened the door.

And there he was. Long blonde hair, obscuring his green eyes. Thin frame, no bigger than he was nine years ago. He was watching the t.v.; some movie about World War 2. A half-smie tugged at my lips and tears lid down my cheeks as he turned towards me.

"Brennan," I breathed. I wanted to rush towards him but my legs wouldn't move. He stood and came towards me.

"Alyssa," he sighed and I fell into his embrace.



THE END!!<3