Hot. That's all that was going through my mind as I sat outside on the doorstep of my home in South America. It was a sunny but absurdly humid day in August. I was sitting outside all by myself in the courtyard of my Ecuadorian home just listening to music as I usually do. My family was inside making lunch and thinking of any places to go or cool things to do that day. We were planning to have fun and relaxing day at the center of the earth monument but that day turned out to be exactly opposite of relaxing and fun. It was the day that changed my life forever. Until this day I have nightmares of that horrendous afternoon. It was summer break and I was staying in Ecuador for the summer. My parents and siblings did not accompany me on my almost 3 month trip, so it was quite the experience. I had to try to speak another language and manage to get by in public places on my own since my family members who lived there did not speak english. It was fun to learn and try to live in another country so i didn't complain. I only had a few days before I had to go back home to America, and frankly, I was having so much fun that I didn't want to go back. It was August 12, 2014. The day seemed ordinary. Sunny, no clouds in the sky and birds were chirping away as I sat and stared at all of the fruit trees in the yard. I was so happy to see that the lemon and chirimoya trees growing healthy and strong. That is when my 2 year old cousin, Julian,  came out and decided it was time to water all of the plants. Our home was surrounded by cement walls and 2 big iron gates at the front. My mom’s aunt (The lady i was staying with) had quite the bit of money so we had a bodyguard always watching us from outside of the gates. It was a bit awkward at times since he never spoke but i thought nothing of it. Julian and I were just about finished watering the plants and ready to go back inside when i hear the tall and stern officer say “algo no me parece bien hoy.” What he basically said was  “something about today didn't seem right.” He was right. I didn't pay much attention to it because he seemed a bit off to me so I ignored it. My cousin and I proceed inside the house to see that lunch was ready. My family and I sat down in the dining room in front of the big window the overlooked the front yard.  The meal we had that day was one of my favorites. Salchipapas. The dish my aunt made was basically a plate full of homemade french fries and small Ecuadorian hot dogs. She made that for me since I was a very picky eater and it was kind of close to an American food. Salchipapas were a famous street food everyone in ecuador ate. We had such a nice time as we ate and talked about our plan for that day. Once we finished eating, we decided to get ready to go to the ‘mitad del mundo’ monument. That monument signified where equator of planet earth was. We lived in the province of Pichincha and in the capital city of Quito, so the ride was not long. I've been to that monument once before and it was one of my favorite places. There were artisan shops and tiny restaurants around it, as well as museums and a planetarium. The sad thing was, we never made it there that day. As we all sat in the living room, waiting to go, time stopped and the earth spoke. A small, hardly audible sound was made by the earth that even i cannot explain. I might sound crazy, but I really did hear it. I knew something was wrong. I didn't have enough time so say anything to my family because shortly after the earth made that peculiar sound, my world shook. Everything was falling. We were in the midst of an earthquake that changed everything for me, ecuador, and my family. Thank god the door was wide open because everyone sprinted out faster than you can even say the word fast. Except for me. My family who lived there was used to earthquakes but none this bad. I was paralyzed. I couldn't move. I wanted to run but my feet said no. I was so stupid. Instead of running out of the house or taking cover, I stupidly ran downstairs and back into my room to grab my special belongings. I thought i was going to die so i just had to go back and get them. I couldn't leave anything behind because i thought that i would never make it back home. Things were falling, i was panicking. Thankfully, i made it out in time and there was not much damage to me or the house. Only broken cups, vases, and fallen tables lay on the floor. One thing that got destroyed caught my eye. It was a statue of the virgin mary. I knew then that this was worse than I thought. My family was furious with me about how i went back into the house and could have died. Thank goodness that nothing bad had happened to me. As the neighborhood and my family stand in the street in awe, dust filled our views. We couldn't see, our eyes burning, and lungs aching. The world stopped for me that day. It was the longest almost 1 minute of my life. But it got worse from there. No one knew how bad the destruction was or if anyone had died yet. My cousins, Thalia, and Jessica went with me into the house and up to the roof to see the damage but it was nowhere near from over. We could not see much due to the dust but all we heard was car sirens and half of a beautiful mountain had been destroyed. We could not believe our eyes. As we stood on the rooftop of our home, the earth spoke yet again. Aftershocks. We got hit by an aftershock as we stood on our 3 story home and it brought us to the ground. Once it was over, we quickly migrated back onto the street where my family was. Our fun and relaxing plans for that day were ruined. We tried to turn on the TV and see if there was any news but we had no luck in getting the channels to work. We decided to take a drive to my other family's home not far from ours to see if they were okay. When we made it, my other family members seemed to be doing fine. They had a working TV there so we decided to turn on the news. Ecuador was hit with an almost level 6 earthquake and it created landslides in the country killing about four people and injuring many. No other news was heard. I decided to open up a memo on my phone to write down everything that had happened just in case i never made it home. I didn't think much of the earthquakes and they didn't affect me but they soon took over my whole life. As i was sitting in the living room, i remembered my parents and family in America and totally forgot that they don't even know what has happened. I could not make any phone calls on my phone since it was from America and i didn't change the SIM card on it. I tried calling my mom and dad, using my family’s home phone but no answer. I was mortified. I tried calling my aunt from New Jersey and she picked up. The signal was bad and she couldn't hear me well so i had to make it short. I told her all that had happened and told her to let my parents know ASAP. About 10 minutes later, i get a call from my mom in tears, she was very worried about me. I explained what had happened and that i was okay. Once everyone was situated, we decided to go back to our house. I was a lot calmer because no other aftershocks had took place. I wasn't scared or worried and i carried on the rest of my evening in peace. As i was getting ready for bed, my stomach sunk for some reason and i was feeling anxious and not well. What if? What if? That was the only thing that was going through my mind. I tried to sleep but i couldn't. That was when the earth spoke for the 3rd time that day and i knew what it was. It was 10:30 pm and we had another aftershock. After that, I would have to go through a week of sleepless nights. The aftershocks came in 5 minute intervals throughout the night. I only kept thinking: what if? What if i go to sleep and i don't wake up because of the earthquake? What if I sleep and something bad happens to my family? What if i can't make it out of the house if i was sleeping? So i didn't sleep. The next morning, and throughout the day, all i could respond to was aftershocks. My family weren't affected that much, because they were used to it. They wanted to take me to a hospital. I looked pale, i wouldn't eat, or sleep, or move, talk, and respond to anything. Nothing worked and the aftershocks kept coming. Everyone was worried because nothing worked. Days pass, and it seemed that my vacation had come to an end. To get my mind off of everything, my family took me to many fun places, even the galapagos islands! I enjoyed it so much and it was one of my favorite tropes but I was never the same after that. I was not my usual, cheerful self, nor will i be for a long time. It was time to go back home to America and live life like usual. Once i got back, i could never sleep, or talk much. For some reason, this event just changed me completely. Any sudden movement or sound that was made, resulted into me having a horrible panic attack that had me in tears, and screams, and hallucinations. People say i have PTSD...and depression and anxiety issues but i denied it all and told myself i was fine. I tried to go to the doctors but i couldn't. Soon enough, every little thing about life affected me and caused me to have anxiety issues. From schoolwork so someone talking to me about something random. Nothing ever affected me but now everything does. I'm not sure exactly what my problem is but the only thing i can think about to this day, is what if? what if when i'm sleeping, someone breaks into my home and tries to kill me and my family? What if someone was watching everything i did somehow when i'm in bed at night? what if? what if? I am not sure how i can be fixed, but if it wasn't for that day, i would be fine. That beautiful, summer day, has changed my life. I plan to maybe go back to Ecuador this year and try to overcome this fear that has been tearing and up my insides. I can only try to get better from here on out. I don't think i will ever forget the day that the earth spoke. The smells, the sounds, the view, the people,  it's all very vivid, but it's a memory I want to cherish.