He has dirty blonde hair, baby blue eyes, and a smile that could brighten someone’s day, yet he feels like he isn’t worth anything to anyone. My cousin suffers from depression. When I saw his posts, I realized the depth of his pain. He wrote, “Tired of everything and everyone.” “No one cares about me. She hates me,” and “What is the point anymore?” Thus, the battle to keep my cousin alive began.

My cousin cut his wrists and verbally described his pain on a social networking site. When I saw what he wrote, I retrieved my phone and immediately texted him to ask what was going on. His ex called him bad names, and that made him believe that his relationships were going down hill. Going through the same situation myself, I tried to explain to him he shouldn’t feel bad. I confessed to him how I thought about causing myself physical pain. Because my boyfriend treated me like I wasn’t important, I felt like no one else thought I was important. Close to causing myself physical pain, I realized that I didn’t have to do it. My cousin and I continued to talk about our relationships, and even if they weren’t the best, we could get through them together. My cousin kept saying, “She was the best thing that ever happen to me. She made me feel like I meant something, and I could never get over her.” He thought she had the right to hate him because he felt as if he didn’t treat her right.

He degraded himself, which infuriated me. I hated that he felt that way about himself. He is an amazing guy. He is sensitive; he takes other people’s opinions into consideration; he makes people laugh, and he helps me when I’m down. I feel that no girl ought to make him feel less. I pleaded with him and voiced that he was a good guy by telling him, “You are a great guy, and you make me feel better just by talking to you.” I also told him, “You deserve a girl that doesn’t make you feel rotten because you have so much more to offer.”

Our family was having a get together later that week, so I would be able to see him. My mom also saw his status, and she asked if I saw what he wrote. I nodded my head, and I told her that I have seen his statuses. She commanded me, “Don’t talk to him about it because we don’t need to bring it up. Just act as if you didn’t see it.” She made it seem like since he isn’t my brother that it isn’t our problem. However, I feel as if he is my brother, and I felt worried for him. That extremely ticked me off. He happens to be a part of this family, and family members help other family members. Acting as if nothing happened doesn’t help him; we should support him and get him help.

When I first saw him at our family get together, I acted like nothing changed because our little cousins were around us. We then walked outside to “play.” As soon as we were outside, I brought up his statuses, and I asked if he actually cut himself. Lifting up his sleeves, I saw the long, raised lines across his arm. My heart felt like it just sunk to the bottom of the ocean. I lost my breath, and I was at a lost for words. Seeing them just made me feel miserable, and I felt as if I could feel his pain. I asked him out right, “Why did you do that?” He disregarded my concern, and he just told me the same reasons as before. I told him, “You are an idiot! You deserve someone way better for you.”

He replied, “I don’t think so. She is perfect to me.”

I tried to explain to him, “You will find someone better for you that makes you happy, and she will be happy with you just being with you.” We continued to talk, and I discovered that he went to the hospital and received help. I was happy to find out that he started to take medication and received the help he needed.

I honestly wonder if he knows how many people he has affected. If he left us, would he know how many people would miss him? Although I have tried to tell him time and time again, he still doesn’t think he means much to people. He probably doesn’t know how many lives he has touched in a positive way.

If he were not to be here, I would miss him terribly: his smile, his laugh, and the joking way he messes with me. Overall, I would just miss him in my life. If he doesn’t realize how much I do love him, I make an effort to tell him. Sometimes when I see his statuses on Facebook and they sound depressed, I will text him and tell him I love him. He simply replies, “I know, and I will be okay.” That news relieved me.

My cousin and I have been through tough situations and have thought about doing some stupid actions, but in the end we both help each other and realize that we have one another if we ever need to talk. People should not ignore if they know someone who is causing self-harm. Getting someone help can be the difference between life and death.