Weird Drunk Hayride Lady | Teen Ink

Weird Drunk Hayride Lady

October 31, 2016
By pumperjacker BRONZE, Alpine Township, Michigan
pumperjacker BRONZE, Alpine Township, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

With fog starting to gently blanket itself over top of the big lake in the middle of the campground, Susie and I were just starting to walk out of the shower houses that the campground had, the water was nice and steamy but when ever you would use it, it smelled like a thick and strong scent of propane. After we started walking a little bit further from the shower houses there were many things that had caught our eyes, one of the things that did catch our eyes was the hay wagon. We paused a minute after we heard a few rumbles of a car engine starting, we looked around and finally noticed that there was a small jeep looking car getting prepared to carry around the two wagons connected to the back of it. In an instant the hanging, plain, boring, paper lanterns turned into red beautiful glistening, shiny orbs that lit the whole wagon, It made everything feel Mystical, and like the place was made of magic. The dim light lit the big blocks of hay on the wagon. We looked more into it and notice that it was a hay ride, it was leaving in about 30 minutes to go around the campground, and we were Excited to ride the bright hayride.

The other thing that caught our eyes and mostly our ears, were exploding fireworks that were really loud, only because they were about 25 feet away from us. It was a frightening experience, first is because it was a few twenty year old adults, a few teens and a man that was about 40-50 years old, and all the fireworks were mostly going up in the air and some were literally turned into bombs because they had backfired, some turned on their side and shot out in the air on other land, and then they were supposed to go up in the sky, but they only stayed and exploded right then and there.


Susie and I started a slow jog towards our campground with the gravel crunching just beneath our feet. As we got to our campground we were partially out of breath from our long jog. When we started to walk up towards the campfire our families started to stare at us from all of our panting. When we came to a stop my mom started to instantly to talk to us.


“So are you guys going to go ride the Hayride? It’s going to leave soon.” She said gesturing her hand towards where the wooden wagon was.


Susie and I both looked at each other and were starting to wonder how, and when did she find out about this. Well turns out that the camp owner has been going around telling a few people that they were going to start the ride.


Before we got to the campground I already knew that they were going to do this Hayride because I have already been here plenty of times, it was just a new experience for my friend Susie.


After we heard my mom say that, we went into our tents to find our sweat shirts. Within a few seconds we each came back out of our tents around the same time, our moms stopped us for a second and told us That we needed to bring our siblings, I sighed and continued to wait with Susie.


Finally when our siblings got ready we started to run towards the wagon’s station area where it started loading men, women, and other younger children. We were one of the first people onto the ride, so we got to choose our seats. As we all got on the wagon we all went towards the front of the hay block seats and sat down. As I sat down I could feel and smell a gust of Hay that reminded me of a farm. The Prickliness of the hay was enough to where I could feel it through my pants which made me gently set my hands on top of the hay. Before the ride took off my mother took a few pictures of us and then hopped on the ride with us. Shortly after that the ride started to move, sway, and started to kick up dust and rocks.


My siblings, friends and I felt a little loud because we were the only people that were talking, and to others they were probably thinking that we were loud and annoying. We didn’t get that far till we noticed and watched as another firework backfired. It started to sparkle, and flare up with loud little “sputs” coming from it. It left the ground but turned on its side and shot straight towards our ride! I only really noticed it until it exploded like 30 feet away from us, It startled us and made us feel uneasy, but after a little bit we got used to the big booms and also got further away from it.


Passing by a lot of other campsites, we looked and enjoyed random peoples decor they had out or talk about whose tent is the biggest we've seen so far. Another thing we looked out for is the different dogs people had, one of my favorites was an average dog that was covered in thick fluffy white fur, and it waddled instead of walked and it looked like a lil’ walking cloud.


There is and was plenty of time left for this ride because it went until around 12:00 AM, and it went around the campground several times to pick up and drop off families already. As we were still on the ride my friend and I noticed something a little amusing and funny, there was a kid on his bike Chasing the two wagons being carried by the small jeepish car to get a ride, but what was funny is that he was wearing a skeleton halloween costume. I tapped on my brother's shoulders and started to laugh. I know it sounds mean but it was really funny. I started to talk to the kid but he wouldn't really respond back… not sure if it was because some random girl was just yelling at him saying Skele-dude! The ride finally got to a stop and the kid got on, as he was getting on I yelled across the ride, and started to pat the empty, prickly spot of hay right next to me viciously. From the kids looks he was probably a little scared but then he did a little trot towards me and sat down on the right side of me. I tried having normal conversation with him but still he didn’t reply. I was asking him random questions like, “Are you cold?” “Do you have a soul?” “Is it hard being a skeleton?” “Do you have guts to do it?” after all those stupid cheesy jokes, Susie was laughing so hard she was covering her mouth with both hands and squinted eyes. But honestly he was pretty chill and just nodded and shrugged to everything. After a while he eventually rode a few times around then jumped off, But after he left We ran into something else weird.


The next stop after dropping off Skele-dude, there was this very friendly nice older like women. Hopping on the tire first she gradually stepped on the actual wooden floor boards that creaked like from an old house, as it was holding all of us. One thing that I instantly noticed is that her face looked really happy, and she also got on with a few other kids which I expected was her grandchildren or someone she knew. After she had gotten on she saw Susie and I, and took a seat right in between us, at first I felt a little uncomfortable but I kinda got used to it more. After a while she started to randomly talk to us about how we found the campground, how are visit was going, have we been in the lake, basically things like that. We started talking a lot more but then one song started to play and she freaked out over it.


“Oh my gosh! I love this song so much!” She yelled out.


It startled Susie and I a little bit but not that much, but after that she started to yell out the lyrics, which made her happy so Susie and I thought it would be fun to join her. Listening to different songs we would make up these funny and weird dance moves to them, for example we would roll our arms in the air and then point one way, then to the next. At the end of each song we would laugh and talk about how we knew the song.Then she started talking about all the stupid and weird people she met, which we had no clue who they were. She started to spit out swear and curse words viciously like she was talking to someone she absolutely hated, which scared me but a little bit later she calmed down and stopped. It got dead silent when she was done with her vicious comments and remarks. As it just got quieter we thought we could lighten up the mood. Susie and I wanted to know if she knew this popular dance move thing called the dab. We asked her and then she made her arms do it but instead of the actual thing she  curved her arms and practically smacked herself in the face, or at least that’s what it looked like. After that I started to yell like it was cool and all, but really it wasn’t so I just went with it… and dabbed the same way she did. We all laughed after that. As the rainbow colors and sparks of the exploding “bombs” went off in the background, we started to go another time around. We were being really reckless and once we passed a Porta-jon when someone was coming out i would quickly cup my hands around my mouth and yelled out,


“Was that poop good?!” Everyone started to hysterically laugh.


I noticed that the women stopped laughing and looked around, the ride had stopped and she sorta frowned. She looked back and noticed that there were still exploding colors in the sky, she looked at us both and told us she had to leave. She was saying goodbye and telling us her name… I think it was janette or Julie, anyways she pointed to a campsite before she hopped off and spoke.


“This is where I have been staying, come hang with us tomorrow!” she yelled as she was getting off and grabbing her grandchildren.


After that, our stop was going to be next again, I was sad that the night was over. At our stop I grabbed my siblings,and Susie then we walked a little bit  to our site where we were staying. We ran over next to the campfire and sat down to talk to our parents about our fun ride. We told our parents about the crazy, and weird women we met. they started to laugh and ask us some questions. After a few minutes they handed us some fire roasting sticks and marshmallows. We told stories about how our day was, what we did, and what was our favorite. Then we started to walk on the lakes shore. It was like walking on piles of damp squishy mud. Once again after watching some more fire works we eventually had to go in our tents and sleep. First thing we did was get our pajamas on and then to the bathrooms, which were actually porta jons. Shivering in the chilly weather we walked over to our tents and went in, then snuggled up comfortably in our sleeping bags on top of our air mattresses, and fell asleep deeply into the night.


The author's comments:

A funny story about a few friends and a crazy drunk women.


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