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Route 75
I sit here on the 75 tram, watching myself leave the city behind me.
The city of deception, selfishness, torment and anguish, It's like I'm being pulled away, away from all my troubles, away from all the aspects of my life that dishearten Melbourne. This tram is saving me and I patiently watch the city shrink into an array of misty shadows.
If only this was permanent.
Already, I feel far from it all as I pass this foreign area that isn't so foreign to my usual school route.
Already, I feel the difference. There's no one staring, there's nobody I know, and there's nothing to worry about. I contrast this to Melbourne... fear for my safety, rumours, stares, gossip and girls.
Disrespectful girls.
Will they ever change?
But it is only this distanced area that makes me feel untroubled and unharmed. This is only temporary, for the place I'm heading contains new struggles- school, and education, a voyage in finding my career that will support my future. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to do this. Fresh out of highschool...this transition is too abrupt.
This world is moving too fast.
This world is leaving me behind.
I'm somewhat lonely. Whilst I'm physically away from my struggles, the mental repercussions live vividly in my mind. As these thoughts attack my brain, I watch as a group of girls aboard the tram. A group of friends, laughing, talking, enjoying one another's company and possibly annoying other passengers with their definite and outstanding voices. And I picture myself looking at myself. A young girl, alone, sad and somewhat moody. So much for real friends I think to myself. So much for all those years wasted, thinking I had some.
Family. Too caught up in their little financial affairs. Stressing about bills, and allowing such payments bury the happiness that should exist. Loud voices and arguments echo up the stairs whilst I unwillingly listen to what has become a daily intake. Their worries override what's truly important in a family- close relationships and happiness. So there go my blood relations of whom I have no connection.
The one person I have, my wonderful guy, the love of my life, I've just had an argument with. So really, right now I have no one. Just me, myself, my pen and my paper and my thoughts.
Behind me...my troubles with friends, family, enemies...
In front of me...education, school, a decision on life careers.
I'm stuck.
My problems may be limited, and there's always someone worse off, but such factors work to bring me down. I'm young, yet I'm drowned in worries and misfortunes. I need resuscitation.
Tram 75, take me away, past the past and ahead of the future...
But don't leave me stuck in between...
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