Nightmares, sure everyone has them. Some people have them more often than others.

My nightmares scare me during the day, thinking if how my mind comes up with these horrible drawn out episodes just scares me. They come and go, sometimes I have them for a week, sometimes I have just one. They're always the same, I die. Sometimes quick and painless like getting hit by a car and sometimes in a terrible drawn out manner. When it's these drawn out deaths it's at the hands of a grizzled man with a thick German accent and piercing blue eyes as cold as 0°Kelvin, who knows everything about me.

He always asks "how are you feeling today?"
I responded with a garble of muffled words.
He says "I'm sorry I can't hear you, maybe I loosen your tongue."

He proceeds to laugh a cold laugh, chilling me to the deepest parts of my bones. The room is a chilly 48°. I'm stripped of everything but my underwear, freezing I shiver trying to move my body to retain some warmth, but there's no point.

He grabs a pair of needle nose pliers and starts to sing a German lullaby. He begins twisting and yanking at my flesh, I scream "AAAAAHHHHHHH" it's no use.

Tears streaming down my face he says"do not cry, it will tire you out."

He wipes away the tears with an impossibly white tissue. When he pulls the tissue away it's stained crimson... He resumes what he was doing, I continue screaming. He eventually sets the pliers download and unrolls a black, placemat sized tool holder, it's contents are shiny yet lightly stained red, he meticulously starts to sharpen them. Pressing the scalpel to my flesh he slowly runs it down my spine, cutting deeper with each stroke of the blade, I continue to scream. I pray for death to come soon, but it won't, it never does. When it does it's sweet release. I wake up sweating, and sleep doesn't come again for hours.

The newest nightmare is different from the others, instead of only me dying it's everyone I care about. This one makes me wish I was the one dying, it's awful watching someone you care about die in terrible ways, my family's deaths are quick, which makes me as happy as someone who has been told they have cancer and six months to live.The worst one has to be a close friends. She is stretched out on a stained wooden table, arms and legs tied down. She thrashes trying to break the rope that binds her. A short stocky man with eyes black as pitch enters the room, there's a click behind him. He looks at his wall of tools, after in few minutes he takes a surgical tool with a small serrated blade. he meticulously chooses a place on her wrist to start cutting, blood runs down her wrist as he drags the once sharp blade down her forearm. Screaming, she calls out for someone to save her.
In a gravelly voice he shouts at her to quiet down. He takes a hammer and smashes her exposed radius, she let's out the highest pitch scream.She starts crying, tears streaming down her face, she says

"Please kill me!"

"that would give you something you don't deserve, you need to pay for your sins." He mutters.

He begins to pull out bone fragments from her arm, she whimpers every time he pulls another piece out. He looks at her abdomen and grins, he walks to his wall of tools and snatches a scalpel, pressing the edge against her soft flesh and slowly runs it horizontally along her abdominal muscles. She calls out. The man takes the scalpel and plunges it into her heart, her eyes grow cold. He dumps her body onto the floor and says "next."
I want to scream, I want to call out for someone,  I want these nightmares to stop. They've never been this bad before. Why is a 16 year old having nightmares that only someone with PTSD gets?

The cars, the cars are wonderful when the nightmares come. I'm always walking across the street, I'm walking with someone who used to care about me.

she shouts "stop!!!"

I don't hear her in time, my body launches into the air and lands with a bone cracking thud. The red sports car doesn't even stop. She screams, I lay there motionless, struggling for breath...

I try to speak but all that comes out is a terrible "uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh."

my eyes are darting like a person watching a tennis match. my mind is racing are these dreams normal? does everyone get them this bad? Do I need help?

There's no color left, all I see is black and white. She's holding me close, cradling me like a newborn baby. She kisses my forehead and says."you're going to be ok, you'll be alright."

But it's a lie, I can see it in her eyes. I'm too far gone for any help, they might as well drive me right to the morgue. She starts crying, tears are falling on to my face. I start to cry too. As I slip away the sirens get louder and louder. I'm gone, I wake up and get out of bed and get a drink of water. I pray that the nightmares end soon.  The next I focus on good memories and do not have a nightmare and I haven't had one in over two weeks. I learned that to make them stop I need to focus on life and less on death, I need to remember the great moments of life and cast out the bad moments. I am someone who has a mind as dark as a moonless night, but a heart as war as a raging fire.