According the Offspring, you’ve got to “keep ‘em separated.” This is true for people like my parents, who separated when I was young. Shortly after, I was given a little brother and moved from Connecticut to Virginia. There are many types of families, and none have earned the title of “perfect family.”

After moving to Virginia with my newborn brother, mom, and her then boyfriend at six years old, I gained yet another family member. My mother married her now ex-husband when I was seven. When I moved eight hours away from my father, communication slowed. I understood that we moved, but not quite why my I didn’t see my dad anymore.

As time went on, I began to spend summers in Cape Cod with my grandparents and cousin. Soon, these summers morphed into summers with my father. We moved about twelve more times between Connecticut, Maine, and Massachusetts over the next few years, only to end up back in Virginia when I was eleven. My mother and her ex-husband got divorced when I was fourteen, leaving us with strange family circumstances.

Sometimes when parents separate, it can be a good thing. State changes can be complicated, but they are possible to maneuver around. What is important is that everyone thinks about everyone else with care. I don’t have a perfect family and as of yet, the “perfect family” is non-existent.