Everyone has a life to live. We always remember our favorite memories, such as a fun birthday party or the favorite part of your favorite movie. While we’re in our own worlds, we barely notice others. We only notice them when their worlds clash with ours. It’s not hard to get caught in our world, which is exactly what happened to me, because when two worlds collide and crash, many more follow.

I will never forget many things about my life whether it is fun family trips, incredible theatre productions or just good times with friends. I know for sure I will never forget hearing the words that my granny died in her sleep and I will never forget all the tears I shed at her funeral. Every part of my world came crashing down just by those simple words.

I have a lot of memories of my granny. She was sweet and kind. She was friendly with all of her roommates at the nursing home she stayed at. I remember watching her play Bingo. Granny loved Bingo. It was always in her calendar for every time there was a Bingo game. I don't know what she loved about the game, maybe it was winning all the stuffed animals.

Her bed was literally covered from head to toe with the brightly colored stuffies and flowers.

She loved anything with flowers: flower chairs, stuffed animals with flower shirts, flower shirts, and obviously flowers. There was so much that I can remember about her. Something I will never forget is that she had (Alzheimer's or dementia[one of the two]). It killed her memory and so every time we came it was like we were strangers instead of her family, but she still met us with a smile on her face.

It was a crisp autumn day. It was cloudy that day, so no sunshine would appear like a beam of light. I could feel the cold wind blow across my body as I walked up to the funeral home. It screamed warm and inviting as they should, but a dark cloud hung over it.
I walked into the simple but classy entrance. The funeral directors met us with warm smiles and friendly greetings. While my dad busied himself with the funeral preparations, my mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins wandered into the main room. It still contained that grand elegance as the rest of the building. The center was the eye-catcher, the one thing everyone would focus on when they entered the room. It was a light brown coffin with my granny in it. She had some of her jewelry on and looked like she was sleeping on a cloud. The light pink roses were on the edge of the unopened portion and boards held pictures where on both sides. I felt saddened and a flood of tears streamed down my cheeks.

I could tell my family was sad as well, but they all put on a face to show that they had already done their crying. I, on the other hand, felt like my heart had fallen and shattered into a million pieces and all the emotions that I had kept bottled up until now were all out. I knew that my life would forever be different, but I couldn’t keep myself from crying because every time I thought about my granny or looked at the coffin, I could just feel tears spilling over my cheeks. I don’t remember much after that, other than watching the coffin go into the ground and eating delicious food at the funeral dinner. And just like that, it was over and I could go home and pull the rest of myself together.

A few days after my granny's’ funeral, I wrote a poem to help me with my emotions. It was called How I Imagine Heaven. I can remember how I felt like crying while I wrote the poem, but it truly helped me. It helped my family too because it was a good reminder that even though Granny had left life on Earth, she was in Heaven and perfectly fine. The poem even brought one of my aunts to tears.

A year later I went to a church camp called Camp Barakel. I thought I was over my granny's death, but one night we all had the choice to share our personal testimonies, so I shared mine. When I got to the part about when granny had died, I burst into tears because I always felt guilty about never getting to say goodbye a few days before she had died. I received hugs and comforting words as everyone to me that I didn’t need to feel guilty. After that, I felt better.

The past three years have been a been a painful, especially since there have been changes I have either gotten used to or miss because I can’t do them anymore. For instance, I used to say “Hi Granny!” every time my family drove past Laurels of Bedford, the nursing home where my granny lived. Now I can’t do that anymore because she’s not there. I also miss getting candy for her, but I remember some of her favorites: Circus Peanuts, Fruit Slices, and fruity hard candy. I also miss seeing her at our house for Christmas, because she made everyone laugh, whether it was intentional or not.
We all have our own worlds to live in. It’s hard to rebuild a life after it crashes, but it’s not impossible. We can’t let one thing define who we are or will become. My granny might no longer be here on Earth anymore, but I can trust that I will see her again one day and that she is watching over me. She is no longer in pain and can remember that I’m my dad’s daughter and not his wife. She lives on in me, in more ways than one, because I will always have memories of her. Memories are part of life. It’s the one part of life that we can’t let go.