(Sigh)
Hey guys. I noticed that all I've done so far is review good movies and games that I recommend to people. So I thought that for a change, I'd review a terrible movie. This is considered one of the worst films of all time. So, let's get started and talk about this piece of sh#t.
Batman and the death of a franchise, otherwise known as Batman & Robin. But before I talk about one of the worst films of all time, let's look at the history of theses batman films. The first Batman movie came out in 1989 with Tim Burton as the director, and it was a big hit. So, after Tim made Batman Returns, the Warner Brothers didn't get the movie they wanted, and so Tim was booted off and replaced with Joel Schumacher who directed Batman Forever. Batman Forever was definitely more child friendly by bringing in stars like Jim Carrey, some bright flashy colors, and some really cheesy one-liners like, "It's the car right? Chicks dig the car." And as you would imagine, it was a big hit. So logically, Schumacher was called in again to direct the next one. And as a result we got...this. So without further delays, let's get this over with. So in this sh#t stain, you've got Batman played by George Clooney, who honestly makes Val Kilmer's Batman (Batman in Batman Forever) look like the Dark Knight as he should, would, and could ever be. He just pops in like, "Hi Freeze. I'm Batman." Really dude? He doesn't have to sound like he has throat cancer like Christian Bale, but at least put some effort into it man. Oh, and Robin played once again by Chris O'Donnell. The movie starts out completely cheesy, with Robin going, "I want a car. Chicks dig the car." Then Batman says, "This is why Superman works alone." Then Robin turns to Alfred and says, "Don't wait up for me Al." Then Alfred goes, "I'll cancel the pizzas." Those are honestly the first bits and pieces of dialogue in this movie. It's bad, but not as bad as it's gonna be. Following that scene, we are introduced to our villain Mr. Freeze, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I never thought that would work at all. I thought that Patrick Stewart would make a good Mr. Freeze. And, boy, does Freeze get annoying very quickly. He only speaks in one-liners about a certain subject: Ice. He says things like the following: "The Iceman Cometh, Freeze well, Cool party, Stay cool, Let's kick some ice, Can you be cold?" and so many more annoying lines like those!!! Anyway, Mr. Freeze is stealing diamonds that power his sub-zero suit and his ice ray-gun he's building so that he can hold Gotham for ransom for billions of dollars to find a cure for his wife who is cryogenically frozen. Did that sound as stupid as me saying it as you hearing it? Yeah, I think it did. I mean, seriously, he has a dozen diamonds the size of footballs and he never considered cashing them in for money. Spending billions of dollars to get billions of dollars is simply sh#tty business. And along with Freeze, Batman also has to deal with Bane, who is nothing more that a Sasquatch on chemo, and Poison Ivy played by Uma Thurman. Who, believe it or not, was nominated for an Oscar before this movie came out. And watching her act, it's just painful. Oh, and Alicia Silverstone as Bat-girl: Really?
The whole movie is completely over-the-top and overacted. You don't believe anything that's going on. You see the actors acting, but you don't feel like they're the characters you want them to be. Not sure if it was bad acting (probably is), or if they couldn't take their roles and dialogue seriously. It's horrible to watch but it is a lot of fun to pick apart. And you can easily pick this movie apart in every scene. Speaking of which, in the scene where Batman saves the city (which isn't really a spoiler because you know that the good guys always win at some point in every movie right?) this cop opens his door, and the icicles are wobbling. Rubber icicles: Is that the best they can do? And I forgot to mention this earlier, but when Batman pulled out the....Bat...Credit-Card, fans tore Schumacher apart. That scene pissed off a lot of Batman fans. But to his credit, Schumacher did apologize for Batman & Robin, so that's something, right? But that doesn't excuse the fact that in my eyes Batman & Robin is a 0.9 out of 5, which means that it's: Dog Sh#t! However, if Batman & Robin has any contributing purpose, it's this: If Batman hadn't fell so hard, I'm not sure we'd have the reboot with Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy. Otherwise, it has no human purpose for anything in life.
I'm not even going to ask what you think of Batman & Robin, because trust me: I know. It's okay. We're all friends here. But, screw it: what's the worst movie you've ever seen? Comment below, let me know. And as always if you liked what you've read here and want to read more, check out my other reviews to read more. Bye-Bye.