I read a book. One of those teenage angst-y kind of books, that make you feel quite stupid, and horrible as to why you ever complain about your parents, or your school, or quite frankly your life. From the author of the ever colorful, and heartwarming novel, Silver Linings Playbook comes a refreshingly original story about a boy and a gun.

Okay, that’s not what it’s only about obviously. Leonard, like most teens, is a character who typically doesn’t fit in, not only in high school, but in his own skin. Almost as if he is out of step with the world around him. But he’s moving on. On this day, Leonard Peacock has big, big plans. He gave himself a haircut, wrapped some gifts for some of his friends, and has tucked away his grandfather’s pistol inside of his backpack. And oh yeah it’s his eighteenth birthday.

Before he goes off to school, he has some stops to make first, to the four most important people in his life: his uber Bogie obsessed neighbor, a musically gifted classmate, the one genuine teacher at his school, and the only girl he’s ever had a crush on. When he’s done delivering the presents, and his goodbyes, he will kill his former best friend, then he will use his grandfather’s pistol to end his life.

This book, was sometimes very difficult for me to get through. Not in the sense that it was literarily hard, but the fact that the reader is put inside Leonard’s head (which is a disturbingly dark place). You definitely witness that, in the “jokes” he makes. For example the one about modern art, in the very beginning of the story.

In the beginning, when Leonard states that he is going to kill his best friend, and then himself, that immediately raises a bunch of red flags, and questions (at least it did for me). What a lot pf people assumed, while reading this book was that Leonard was the quintessential outcast, because he was bullied, and in result he wanted to kill himself, and his “bully” Asher Beal, which couldn’t be any farther from the truth.

In reality, even though in this world Leonard is seen as the black sheep, he is character that is quirky, and brilliant, and curious, and real, and exceedingly human. And as the story progresses the reader can see that, especially when the truth surfaces over Leonard and Asher’s relationship.

It was honestly an experience, reading this book, because Quick has a style that is so tangible and so here, that I felt like I was feeling every emotion, as if it were touchable. I’m not going to be cheesy, and be “Leonard touched my soul” because he’s a character that went through someone thing that you can’t understand, until you’ve literally walked in his shoes.

To say his eighteenth birthday is intense, is one big understatement. But I’d like to think that Leonard learned more about himself than he ever did, his entire life. I think its also interesting that even though, he was so impossibly tenacious about his suicide, there were instances where I was sure that he appreciated life more than anyone could understand, which is a bit ironic.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone 15 and up, because it tells an important story to anyone who feels like there is no beyond high school. A lot of us forget that high school is just a four year blip in our lives that we’ll probably forget, because it was so inconsequential, and honestly so stupid in a way. Matthew Quick encourages us to look past it, because it’s just a prelude to all the chances that we have in store.