Twilight is an international phenomenon, no question. At first glance the books look tolerable. However, when you really delve into all the nonsense and poorly written passages Twilight is constructed of, it collectively becomes a colossal waste of time.


To begin, while others praise Meyer's new perception and recreation of the modern classic (or vampire novel) I begin to wonder: if vampire novels are perceived as classics why must we destroy-I mean "rewrite" them? This is what we know of vampires: they will die from being staked; they are way too pale because they are supposed to wither and/or die in the sunlight; and oh, did I mention they drink human blood? Well, for those of you who are unknowledgeable in the realms of vampire lore I tell you this: VAMPIRES DRINK HUMAN BLOOD!!!! Isn't that, in essence, what a vampire is? So once again I ask you, why would someone write a vampire story in which vampires don't drink human blood? Sure, Meyer has creative licensee and she can do what she wants, but am I the only one who realizes that Twilight is not a vampire novel? When vampires don't drink human blood, go out into the sunlight whenever they want, and don't die using methods partial to killing vampires then whatever the thing is, it ain't a vampire.


My second irritation with Twilight is the whole "Vampires Sparkle" thing. Where the heck did that come from? In what universe do blood sucking predatory creatures get confused for diamonds or jewelry? Moreover, the whole diamond comparison was used over 100 times throughout the series. In my opinion the author has to rack her brain for a new metaphor because teens don't need to be told things-even oh so scary metaphors-500 times in order to comprehend them. Once will usually suffice.

One of the things that peeved me the most about Twilight was that in my opinion it set the feminist movement back 30 years. No really. Bella as a character is week, showing no or vague emotions throughout the book. Her only real opinion is that she loves Edward and thinks that using his sick nasty vampire speed and strength he will protect her, and that the only things she can do for him involve killing herself when it becomes “necessary”. Twilight gives girls the idea that hot guys will save you from the world and that being in a love struck fantasy will always have positive outcomes, and that giving up your life, for the life of some stranger who you don’t really know is noble and not just stupidity meets martyrdom. Guess what? People break their hearts. By setting yourself up to love one person just because you think he or she is a.) "the one", or b.) will shield you from the world, is totally unrealistic and honestly a little sad.

While my criticisms of Twilight are infinite in number I will stop after one more, a point in which I find myself already spoken for. Why is Bella O.K. with Edward watching her sleep? I cannot answer this for I, unlike Bella, am not in love with guys who stalk me.