I am not one to cry - especially over books. But when I read T.E. Carter's debut novel I Stop Somewhere, published in February of 2018, I just couldn't help it. 

The story is told from the perspective of Ellie Frias, a fifteen-year-old high school sophomore from a low-income family whose wish was to fit into the high school milieu after years of bullying in elementary school. The narrative begins after Ellie's death. Through flashbacks, we learn of her life and the people she meets in high school who manipulate her and ultimately commit her rape and murder. In the present, we follow Ellie's spirit and posthumous internal conflicts as she witnesses her perpetrators commit similar crimes against other victims, and she seeks justice for her still-undiscovered death.

Throughout the book, Carter explores the nature of social class, the need to "fit in," girls' insecurities, manipulation, murder, and a topic much of society finds unspeakable: rape.

“Rape… A concept that's discussed, argued, demonized. If you actually know what it is, if you live and experience it and know what it is beyond a word, you have to carry that word with you. You're now a “rape victim", "rape survivor." Your identity is attached permanently to a word you hate. I'm also a murder victim, but murder carries with it what it is. People don't debate what defines murder. Politicians don't argue the body's ability to fight off being killed. There's no talk of a "murder culture." No one says that you asked for murder. What you wear doesn't excuse being killed.”

Many scenes in this book were hard to read. I put it down a few times because I thought that, as a reader, I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. But in the end, I would always pick it back up. Why? In a society where people turn from suffering that is not their own and stigmatize those who are scarred by an experience, many are forced to suffer in isolation and silence.

What does it mean to be a girl? What does it mean to be a victim? What does it mean to be traumatized and broken? What does it mean to recover? I Stop Somewhere uniquely addresses these questions in a way that is nothing short of relevant, poignant, and powerful.

Through Ellie’s experience, T. E. Carter forces those who have not experienced violence to understand the perspective of someone who has. She forces us to face the brutality of our society and not remain silent.