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White Lace

December 23, 2013
By EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
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EmmaClaire0823 GOLD, Bay Minette, Alabama
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

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Our time together is a fleeting dream
Sparse moments of felicity and glee
Though our affection vanquishes my esteem
Never have you genuinely loved me

For there is another more fair than I
Angelic beauty, her radiant smile
A fiery and avid flame in your eye
As you see your bride glide along the aisle

Tears cascade down my cracked, porcelain face
For I try to hide the pain of heart break
The promise of forever wrapped in lace
Forcing me to feel the tortuous ache

My heart still refuses what my head knows
Which is to repair my life I must go

© Olivia E., Alto, MI

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 7 comments.

ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 26 2015 at 1:50 am
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

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wow, I love that ending, it seemed so..... interesting throughout. i'm intrigued, now I gotta read more :)
bruisedmemories ELITE said...
on Sep. 27 2014 at 12:31 pm
bruisedmemories ELITE, Birdsboro, Pennsylvania
109 articles 10 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;When you&#039;re young, you can fly, but we trip on clouds &#039;cause we get too high&quot; -The Band Perry (Song: Don&#039;t Let Me Be Lonely)<br /> &quot;Cause no matter what, you&#039;ll never be alone&quot; -Lady Antebellum (Song: Compass)

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This poem is absolutely gorgeous! I love your rhymes! They're really unique! I know you're asking for constructive critism, but I don't have anything else to say! There's not a single thing about this piece that I would change! Voted 5/5! x
cecchmate BRONZE said...
on Jan. 31 2014 at 3:12 pm
cecchmate BRONZE, Menlo Park, California
3 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.&quot;<br /> -Greek proverb

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Really beautiful. The only thing is the last line feels a little out of place... maybe add/rearrange a couple prepositions/syllables? Anyways, I really think this is beautiful, and the idea hits me. Great job :)
RoyalCorona SILVER said...
on Jan. 9 2014 at 6:21 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

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This was beautiful and morose at the same time! You elegantly portrayed the story in so little words! I absolutely love it!
author_musical PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 8 2014 at 10:49 pm
author_musical PLATINUM, Torrington, Wyoming
27 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sweetie, if you&#039;re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. - Marilyn Monroe

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I don't know what to say about this but it's just amazing. I loved the imagry and the illusion of "cracked porcelin skin". I've personally used something to that effect. I like it!
Shahrier PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 7 2014 at 4:51 pm
Shahrier PLATINUM, Colma, California
28 articles 10 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I&#039;m a river that no longer flows&quot; - a friend<br /> &quot;when the people lead, leaders follow&quot; - Gandhi

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a sonnet. very nice. love the  imagery in this and how it helps the poems move forward. the third line kinda confuses me, shouldnt "affection" help with "Esteem" and at parts its does feel a bit choppy, but i think its because of the rhyme structure. i was never a big fan of shakesperian sonnets. or maybe its the pertrarchan sonnet. the rhyme scheme dosent appeal to me. other than that, i like the poem. PS: just like you said how you dont like free verse poems, i have likes and dislikes too. im not, by any means, am saying that your poems are bad. they are just not my cup of tea. 
Myvoice4change SILVER said...
on Dec. 24 2013 at 5:57 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 164 comments

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&quot;Everything will be ok in the end. If it&#039;s not okay, it&#039;s not the end.&quot;

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Very well written! Good rhyming scheme and rhythm, and you are very descriptive, using words like "angelic beauty," "cracked, porcelain face." Very well done!