[I AM JUST VENTING]

I wish,

I wish,

I wish,

 I wish I could be like you,

I wish I could save myself like you,

I wish I could close my eyes [and] say “everything’s gonna be alright”,

I wish I felt alright, even for just one night…

I wish I didnt have to try- to be someone I’m not,

I wish I didn’t have to cry,

I wish I could be myself, 

But I’m stuck in this cell.

Wish I didn’t get overwhelmed,

Didn’t always hate myself,

Knew how to ask for help, 

Didn’t always blame myself.

Daddy,

I wish,

I wish I could break you,

Like you broke me.

I wish I could hurt you,

Like you did to me so easily.

I wish yeah I wish,

I wish I could beat you down,

Then build you up, 

Just to watch you fall.

Oh, would it- make you proud?

I’d give the world just to see you smile,

But all i’ve ever known is your frown. 

I wish I didn’t have to try- to be someone I’m not,

I wish i didn’t have to cry,

Always thinkin it’s my fault.

Wish i didn’t get overwhelmed,

Didnt always hate myself,

Knew how to ask for help,

But you taught me- 

“I better- not hear a peep!”,

So i- put on a smile,

Just for a while,

Daddy..

I wanna thank you,

I no longer feel pain,

I became numb somewhere along the way ^.^

I tolerate everything that I shouldn’t,

Took care of everything that you couldn’t,

I’m healin everyone that you wounded…

But daddy I,

I wish,

I wish I could make you change,

And be a better man,

And when you ask “why?”,

I wish I could say “I still see you with a child’s loving eye”...

even so, I cannot deny-

You, I hate less than I...