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Expectations
Awe in their faces
As they watch me prevail
The same awe in their hearts
When they watch me fail.
What's a writer to do?
Always caught in between
I can't ask for help
Without making a scene.
My peers and my friends
All know I'll succeed
But I'm only one human
I sleep and I read.
I think with ambition
But I know they all stare
"I don't mind what they think!"
But I really do care.
What am I to do?
Judgement staring over my shoulder
I may never meet higher standards
The stare will only get colder.
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My meaning: I intentionally talk about "their faces" and "my peers and my friends" because there I'm talking about people. When I then mention "judgement staring over my shoulder," I'm talking not about other people, but myself. As I become more and more successful, I set higher and higher standards for myself and am more critical of what I do: "The stare will only get colder."
I don't write a lot of poetry, but this will always hold a place in my heart.