If Life Were A Wish... | Teen Ink

If Life Were A Wish...

September 3, 2012
By LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me "Life is a choice and death is a decision"-Lil Wayne


If life were a wish
I would wish it all the same
Because in the end
Life is one big game
And the hand that you're dealt
Carries the people that you love
And I remember how I felt
After every single hug
So for your information
I don't want a wish
I'd rather stay the same
In the life I was dished


The author's comments:
Monday,
Septemmber3,
2012
4:20p.m.

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This article has 12 comments.


EMarie GOLD said...
on Sep. 12 2012 at 10:23 pm
EMarie GOLD, Joplin, Missouri
19 articles 7 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Courage comes in all sizes, but fits only a few.<br /> What is wise is not always right and what is right is not always wise.<br /> Knowing what is wrong and right is not choosing which to fight.<br /> -All of these are by me

I liked it a lot; it was short and to the point but withheld a deeper meaning. i agree with dolphincrazy226. It's a challenge to do that, but you managed it fairly well. Good job and I hope to continue reading more of your work.

on Sep. 12 2012 at 6:42 pm
dolphincrazy226 BRONZE, Madison, Alabama
4 articles 2 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is Good!

they say short poems are the hardest to write because you have to much to say, and yet need to pack it all down.  kudos to you, you did a great job keeping the rhyme scheme up with the rythm. and the message rings clear:)  though i do question that last word "dished"  i know it might have been hard to find a rhyme, but it just doesn't fit with the rest of the poem, but the imagery is sound:)  great job and keep writing!

on Sep. 12 2012 at 6:42 pm
dolphincrazy226 BRONZE, Madison, Alabama
4 articles 2 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is Good!

they say short poems are the hardest to write because you have to much to say, and yet need to pack it all down.  kudos to you, you did a great job keeping the rhyme scheme up with the rythm. and the message rings clear:)  though i do question that last word "dished"  i know it might have been hard to find a rhyme, but it just doesn't fit with the rest of the poem, but the imagery is sound:)  great job and keep writing!

on Sep. 12 2012 at 6:35 pm
ToraNoKage SILVER, Unavailable, Other
5 articles 2 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.

Well...the idea definately has merit it in. It could use a little work, but I like how you put it. 4/5 stars

Kieth said...
on Sep. 8 2012 at 6:51 pm
Kieth, Columbus, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Every day my momma told me to prey for a better life. Until the day my life ended. she she told me to prey harder, because it aint workin.

coolio i think it was rather intresting.

LunaLives GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2012 at 7:26 pm
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me &quot;Life is a choice and death is a decision&quot;-Lil Wayne

Thanx. I thought so too:)

on Sep. 7 2012 at 7:10 pm
TraceBatWingsAndBrokenStrings DIAMOND, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
52 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;This gun has stopped time in its tracks, has altered the course of our fate. Destiny is shattered and timeless. Closed eyes feel the cold winds embrace.&quot;<br /> -Avenged Sevenfold

To be honest, the rhyming is, well, not so good in this. The premisce is good, I just think it could be more flushed out that it is.

xxGPxx said...
on Sep. 7 2012 at 5:40 pm
xxGPxx, Fairfield, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
thats really good..its short and sweet and rhymes

on Sep. 7 2012 at 3:56 pm
Choirgirl SILVER, Las Cruces, New Mexico
7 articles 0 photos 22 comments
This is great.  and a good way to sshow that you enjoy what you have in life.

on Sep. 7 2012 at 3:43 pm
JunieSparrow BRONZE, Dallas, Georgia
4 articles 0 photos 15 comments
You're rather cynical!  But sometimes its best to be happy with what we have.  I like your rhythm; you could almost put it to music.     

LunaLives GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2012 at 3:38 pm
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me &quot;Life is a choice and death is a decision&quot;-Lil Wayne

Thank-you!

.king. SILVER said...
on Sep. 7 2012 at 2:12 pm
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡&deg;)

Very Nice, I really like it! :) Paige