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She asked why I do it
She asked why I do it
She said she just wanted to understand
She asked why I was flinching away from the needle she was using to remove my splinter
When I cut myself
She said she wanted to understand
And I told her I wished I could explain
What goes through my brain
When I’m holding the blade above my veins
I wish I could explain
What I’m thinking
when I create little circles with a lighter and a screw
I do it when the number on the scale reads higher than the number I have allotted myself that day
I do it when the world closes in
When the future won’t stop barrelling toward me
And I can’t get out of the way
I do it when I can’t get my thoughts onto paper
And I’m trapped in my skull
And my head starts to ache because it’s too full
I trade my pen for a knife
It seems like the only outlet
For the confusion of life
Because my body and mind can’t seem to align
Sometimes this frame doesn’t feel like mine
And I can’t feel at home in my own shell
And this mortal coil is the cause of my hell
She asked why I do it
She said she just wanted to understand
I told her I wished I could explain
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