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Blood and Water
“Why do I hate you?
Why do you hate me?
What’s the point of this animosity?
We’re the same,
You and I
We breathe the same air
We believe the same things
We have the same thoughts
And the same feelings
Our chests rise and fall
In sync with one another
And our hearts beat to the same rhythm
So tell me,
Why do I hate you
And why do you hate me?
Is it my hair,
Your hair?
Is it my eyes,
Your eyes?
Is it our laugh,
Our smile?
Is it who we are?
What’s wrong with me?
Why do I hate you so?
And why do you hate me?”
My voice quivers,
I look down,
I never expected a response
I’d be crazy to.
When I look back up,
All I see,
Is me.
I stare at my reflection
Late into the night
The dark bags under
My eyes
My stomach churns
As I look at my wrist
Red liquid drips from the cuts
Falling from my pale skin
Cold gray steel
Resting against my palm
I yawn
My eyes water,
And they keep waiting,
Tears fall
Streaming down my cheeks
They fall,
Dripping from my chin.
The clear liquid falls to my wrist
Diluted by red
As soon as they touch my skin
Everything mixes, melds together
One isn’t heavier than the other
One isn’t lighter, or better
I collapse over myself
Exhaustion taking over
The liquid on my wrist
Both salty,
And metallic
Falls, and drips
Blood and water
Finally equal.
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I hit a hard time in my life, and all I had at one point was writing. So I turned to poetry, and I wrote many poems and spilled my heart out onto these scraps of paper. I wrote this poem when I was at one of my lowest points of self harm, and self hatred.