I see myself in the mirror,
I can’t help thinking,
“Eww what is this?”
Stretch marks and scars,
Litter my body.
I think of others,
Their small waists,
And flat tummies.
Then I look in the mirror,
And see my pudgy gut.
I see my small knife.
And think,
“What would happen?”
I mean,
Who would care?
No one probably.
Just above my shorts,
I start sawing at the skin.
It’s too dull.
It won’t break the skin.
Then it happens.
The skin finally breaks.
And I finally bleed.
The crimson liquid soaks into my shorts,
A happy and shaky sigh escapes my lips.
I look up in the mirror,
I see tears that I didn’t even know were there,
Now streaming down my cheeks.
I take a black marker and write above the small gash,
“WORTHLESS”
In big black letters.
They say I’m worth it.
But I never believe them,
I will always know what goes on in my mind.
They don’t have the slightest clue.
I whip my tears away and get dressed,
Go to school,
And put on the show of being "okay".