Want to know how I really feel... I feel lost... I feel abandoned... I feel lifeless... I feel like a disappointment... I feel unwanted... I feel... Absolutely nothing... Everything I touch becomes broken. Everything I am is nothing. I am a nothing but a useless waste of a person. Nothing is right. Nothing is enough. And when I try... s*** happens. I go through the motions, I seem happy, yet no one knows my true feelings. I want to sream, cry, and bash my head into a wall until I have no life left. But that's not a possibility. I have to suck it up and get over it right? I want someone to talk to. I want some to listen and hear me out. But I have no one. My friends don't get it, my mom always sees a problem, and I'm alone. I ask God to help me become better. I see changes. I see ruining everything. Two steps foward, one step back. I need and want help. But I am helpless. I want my mom to understand I am trying. I want God to know I'm open to him. I want myself to know that I am smart, that I am intelligent, and that I am loved. Want to know how I really feel... I feel dead...