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a conversation behind my back, as imagined by anxiety
stranger: That girl is so strange
best friend: She is so stupid, i only hang out with her because i feel bad
boyfriend: yeah she’s pretty fat too. I’m only lying when i say that i love her
stranger 2: why is she so pathetic and sad looking? She’s so annoying
best friend: omg get this; she wants to be a musician. As if.
boyfriend: her voice is as ugly as her face.
stranger: Isn’t she a s***?
boyfriend: that’s the only reason i stick around. She gives me what i want from her.
stranger 2? isn’t that a bit much?
boyfriend: no way. She’s a girl. She should be grateful for a man
best friend: she still sleeps with a stuffed animal, what a baby. And her parents hate her too.
stranger: what a sad girl, how come she never goes out and talks to people like the rest of us
stranger 2: she gets so scared easily, what a wimp
boyfriend: she’ll never be good enough for me
best friend: me either
stranger: does she really still get nightmares?
best friend: oh my god once she woke up and wet the bed from one she was so scared.
stranger 2: someone should give that girl a diaper for her birthday.
boyfriend: oh look here she comes now. Hooray.
best friend: yay more lame jokes and stupid thoughts.
stranger and stranger 2: yeah okay what the hell is she wearing?!
all: Hi, we love you!
her brain: liars.
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This piece is very bold, i know. But i hope that with it someone who is seemingly unaware of how dangerous and severe anxiety can become will understand the extremity of which such pressing thoughts can control a person.