I prefer freedom, I spit the words like it was worth nothing. 

NOT a dime.

I would thrash in my blankets as I wish I was off in some place with people I like mre, who will NOT yell at me for every little thing I say or do. 

I wanted to be free from my family so I left the yellow house with the white picket fence and drove to the city of never sleepign lights. I wanted to share my freedom with someone I love, so I married. 

My will of seeking freedom hit me like a wave of ropes and once again pulled me towards being alone. 

30 years, freedom is no longer a word I took carelessly, for its worth is so much greater. I hated freedom. 

Probably because in the end, all I ever wanted was to be free from myself. The self that wanted to live with "him" in a little yellow house with white picket fence. 

Was I ever truly free? My heart lingers......til the end of my life