Faded | Teen Ink

Faded

December 3, 2015
By CallMeKidHood GOLD, Lawrenceville, Georgia
CallMeKidHood GOLD, Lawrenceville, Georgia
10 articles 7 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
What wisdom is found in knowledge?


Its been many long weeks
And the scars aren't distinct
I've been working on the words
To describe the hurt
It felt when creating them
And how I looked in the mirror and hated them
How they only showed me dark nights
Where I cried out for a light
Where I cried until tears
Drowned me in fears
Where I cried and screamed
Disrupting the serene
Where I couldn't speak or even write
Those ugly, dark nights

I cannot share the feeling
As those scabs were peeling
Where I scratched until I bled
And prayed I wake up dead
You don't know how I would cry
Until the sunlight
And I can't tell you why
Only describe those nights
Nights I planned to end it all
Nights I popped too many Tylenol
To ease the pain I felt in my heart
Nights where all I could see was dark
When I Literally prayed God would kill me
Those scars may have faded but I fear I'm still me

Despite the fact that scars fade
Doesn't change that they were made
I remember looking in the mirror, crying
Telling myself I'm already dying
So why not end it? I hate myself
I can't do anything right, and its messing with my health
So now I don't think I have tears left
And those memories are something that'll always be kept
nights I'd stay up and curse God for my sin
Nights where I wished I could run away
And those nights where I longed to never see day
So as I watch these scars fade
I know those dark nights will never turn to gray


The author's comments:

I went through a period of time where I was depressed I just felt the need to write and reminisce that.


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