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Only a party
I stand there and it feels like my face is burning
the music pounds in my ears
I have the sudden urge to cry
my mouth is twitching
I have my arms crossed to cover a stomach
that is bloated from soda
I have my ankles crossed awkwardly
should I look up?
down?
am I supposed to make eye contact?
I don't want to be alone
but I don't want to intrude
or seem clingy
if someone wanted to hang out with me
they would come over here.
Wouldn't they?
I want to leave.
I'll just slip out.
No one will notice anyways
I dash to the door.
I think I hear someone calling my name
that means they're looking at me
I feel the panic consuming my throat.
it's tingling and I can barely breathe
the cool night air rushes over me
filling my lungs
I feel better now
after all, it was only a party.
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This is how I feel in every social situation