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The Gentleman’s Society of the Greater Seattle Area
Every night, four men sit around a table in a
mostly-dark room with a single surgical lamp in the corner providing them all the
light they need in order to do what they do.
Their painstaking job is to make bets on whether or not the next day’s
newspaper will come in one of those plastic bags to protect it from
any source of water- rain, dew, fog, moisture, it serves the same purpose.
Some nights are longer than others; hours are spent analyzing forecasts and
weather patterns and history of the weather in past years
(These men are all meteorology majors, mind you).
It should also be noted that the men bet on whether or not the bag will
be tied at the end to prevent water from seeping in.
How close the newspaper (bag or sans bag) lands to the porch of the house
(to the nearest half inch) is also factored into the bet.
Eventually, after each member states their argument and the bets are made,
they go to sleep. The next day, when the paper comes, bagless or not, they
divide up the bets up accordingly in a calm manner. These men are very civil
and peaceful and know their way around money (and meteorology) well enough to know
that they will come out ahead and break even soon.
Although yes, this fad if you will of betting on the state of newspapers originated in the
greater Seattle area, it is now ubiquitous and has made its way to the lovely town of
Santa Fe. Reports from the East Coast are yet to be confirmed.
These men do not have day jobs. They know nothing about each other.
They do not ask questions, with the exception of,
“Will anyone match my thirty dollars?”
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This probably isn't how it happens but it's fun to provide a story for everything, isn't it?