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Collisions

January 12, 2015
By PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM, Westfield, New Jersey
More by this author
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM, Westfield, New Jersey
26 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There will always be someone who is smarter than you. Skinnier than you. Stronger than you. More popular than you. There will always be someone better than you, but there will never be someone who is YOU."

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Tell me that even if the sun and the moon collide
that even when it never fades to vespertide
that when the tsunami waters envelope me
that you will not be part of my debris.

Promise me that every day you will not falter
deep down in that part of your heart
that I tell you I would not alter
but sometimes it is enough to tear me apart

Promise me that when the sun refuses to fall
that you will still remember those times we were more than animals
tell me something that will keep me alive
replenish my body that is so deprived
of your slicked skin;
your innocent sin.

Then I realize when I look
In those dark eyes you have
That we are oil and water.

© Nicole B., Newcastle, WA

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.

DreamersJourney SILVER said...
on Jan. 27 2015 at 4:16 pm
DreamersJourney SILVER, Old Massett, Other
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.&quot;<br /> &quot;Decide to have an attitude of gratitude, you can become bitter or better.&quot;<br /> &quot;beYOUtiful, everyone else is taken.&quot;

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It's always good mixing things up! It develops your style, and I like what you're associating with yours so far. Keep challenging your writing!
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 26 2015 at 7:55 pm
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM, Westfield, New Jersey
26 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;There will always be someone who is smarter than you. Skinnier than you. Stronger than you. More popular than you. There will always be someone better than you, but there will never be someone who is YOU.&quot;

View profile
Oh okay. I totally understand. I was trying to switch up my rhyming a bit, but I know I should have a steady flow. That's always been my weakness, and I apprecaite your comments. I will be coming out with a lot of new work soon, so I hope we can chat about future articles.
DreamersJourney SILVER said...
on Jan. 26 2015 at 12:12 pm
DreamersJourney SILVER, Old Massett, Other
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.&quot;<br /> &quot;Decide to have an attitude of gratitude, you can become bitter or better.&quot;<br /> &quot;beYOUtiful, everyone else is taken.&quot;

View profile
The first line gets my attention, the second line about evening prayer doesn't. The debris of tsunami flowed nicely. The faltering and altering of a person and the wretched heart wasn't very note worthy. In a whole now that I look closer, what you're writing about is seemingly intimate. I personally like rhyming more than anything, but what you were writing about was intriguing. It was decent.
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 23 2015 at 6:26 pm
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM, Westfield, New Jersey
26 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;There will always be someone who is smarter than you. Skinnier than you. Stronger than you. More popular than you. There will always be someone better than you, but there will never be someone who is YOU.&quot;

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Mmm touché. How could I improve? :)
DreamersJourney SILVER said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 2:59 pm
DreamersJourney SILVER, Old Massett, Other
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.&quot;<br /> &quot;Decide to have an attitude of gratitude, you can become bitter or better.&quot;<br /> &quot;beYOUtiful, everyone else is taken.&quot;

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not too shabby