I swear everything is wrong in this world
I've known this forever but it doesn't stifle me
Though I know it should

I am stupid
Everything is wrong but I still want the answers
They kill me every time
I just can't let them go

So profoundly dumb
Until I am grasping onto something
That is so intangible
I want the reasons and the answers

Twisted and contored things

Like a boa wrapping around my neck

I want them without the heartbreak

Without the tears

The air is leaving my lungs
Just once

Without the disappointment
I want to hear the answers that I deserve
Please just once

I'm on my knees begging
But it'll never happen
And it kills me
On the inside and out
Like a knife digging into my heart and ripping my flesh 
It tears me to pieces

It pours out like paint 

It takes me a moment to realize it is my blood

All over the floor

Before your feet

In those pumps

The red ones you always wear
Every time.
I’ve forgotten what self-esteem feels like
Care to remind me society

I am helpless defenseless

Right where you want me

Where you'd always planned
Or have you all suddenly disappeared

You are right your plan worked

With flying colors

You face me now
Along with everything

And you take out the knife retracting it slowly

I have

Like you want me to remember this moment

All the pain agonizing my screams

ever known.

Then you do something peculiar

You let me go.