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For the nights I stayed inside under my hot sheets
I absorb a body
and envy their doings-
fearless, bold-
as they sit on the cold metal train
on a Saturday night
a deep red lip
and gold buckle
boots.
Maybe soon
I can feel again
and see through the charcoal rain
that it is my own body I have absorbed,
this is all me.
My gold heels sparkling
in the reflection
of my proud heart
overcoming
the demons
that made my blood stop flowing
for much too long now.
I am the girl I envied
and my demons
envy me.

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