The nomadic spirit within me grows restless.
It is used to moving on before I can decide.
Ready or not.

It is always one, two, five steps ahead,
Ready for the next stage.
And it's pretty charismatic.

So I listen to it; I move quickly.
I never linger in one stage for too long.
On to the next.

It makes people call me things like
Independent, confident, and mature.
I like those adjectives.

But sometimes it gets too far ahead;
The present slips through my fingers
And becomes the past far too quickly.

I can't keep hold.

And it leads me blindly.
It is only when I remove the blindfold
That I am afraid.

The future is uncertain.
I am already more different than I was
Ten years ago -- even three.

What if I become someone that I don't recognize?
From the perspective of my past self,
I already have.

That is what terrifies me the most --
Not losing myself; my values and beliefs --
But how everything: looking in the mirror and saying "that's me", recognizing my own handwriting, and the slopes and curves of my body; everything is ephemeral.
I want to grow up,
But I am afraid.