The Mist | Teen Ink

The Mist

January 21, 2014
By MadeleineMoreland GOLD, Corvallis, Oregon
MadeleineMoreland GOLD, Corvallis, Oregon
14 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Fiction is a lie that tells us true things, over and over again&quot;<br /> -Neil Gaiman


The mist, the mist, the mist.

It comes in rolling banks and torrents.

It is his task to fog up your sight

And cling, like dew droplets on moss,

To your freezing arms as your hair stands on end.

Then comes that dreaded yet sought after deafness.

The suffocating silence where your own labored breath

And your strong, pumping heart beating against your chest,

Determined to pitter-pat until it halts abruptly at the end,

Is the only thing you hear.

The adrenaline starts pumping, and you are chilled to the bone.

So you run, and run, and run, from that

Mist, that mist, that mist; panting heaving, terrified breaths.

But he, that mist, chases after you in those rolling banks of fog,

You are so utterly alone, and no one will hear you when you fall-

A dull thud echoes in the silence.

And you are lying in the damp leaves, and they sink their cold and

Musty cinnamon decay into your marble skin.

Then that mist, that mist, that mist catches up with you.

You breathe it in and succumb to it; you dissolve into it alone.

There is no one to pull you roughly to your feet

And no one to scream for you.

So you go quietly because you know

The mist, the mist, the mist, oh, the mist has won.


The author's comments:

My first horror work!


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This article has 9 comments.


Beila BRONZE said...
on Jun. 28 2015 at 6:56 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.&quot; -Mark Twain

With the email that my comment had received a response, I returned to this poem. I just read it through again, and I have no idea why my first comment was so subdued. This poem literally gives me chills; it is hauntingly beautiful and terrifying at once. Seriously, this is art.

on Jun. 28 2015 at 12:46 pm
MadeleineMoreland GOLD, Corvallis, Oregon
14 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Fiction is a lie that tells us true things, over and over again&quot;<br /> -Neil Gaiman

@Beila That is a very clever suggestion. I will see if I can edit it! You're right, it leaves more for the reader to think about.

Beila BRONZE said...
on Feb. 19 2015 at 5:10 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.&quot; -Mark Twain

I really liked this. Your descriptive language is phenomenal. One suggestion I have, and this is totally nit picking, but when you say "no one will hear you fall," cut out "which you do," and just continue "and that dull thud echoes." I think the less you literally describe the action, the more the reader is drawn in to the emotion. Other than that, very well done. :)

rkioussi said...
on Mar. 12 2014 at 4:42 pm
love this poem girl. you are an amazing writer.

on Feb. 27 2014 at 4:48 pm
I LOVE IT! This poem is amazing!!! It was just the right amount of horror and creativity...oh and i love it! oh...akward..i kind of said that already....hahaha its Nyah and Emma yo.....OH RIGHT THIS POEM IS INSPIRING AND BEAUTIFUL.....I WANT CAKE  

on Feb. 27 2014 at 4:41 pm
This was a very well written piece. The coice of words was fntastic and I thought the way you wrote it great. I hope you post more stuff.

taylorswift said...
on Feb. 27 2014 at 4:39 pm
i love this poem! it is well written, and full of decriptive words. Madelein is one of my best friends, and she is a great writter!

on Feb. 27 2014 at 4:38 pm
This piece was well written and I love it!

Ms.G said...
on Feb. 27 2014 at 4:36 pm
Maddie your writing is a gift that you give yourself and others!