Curiosity trumps self-consciousness.
No one is here.
Step one. Just above the ankles.
Step two. It tickles my knees.
Step three. Above my bellybutton.
Step four. It caresses my shoulders.
I look out.
I won't be scared if I pretend I'm in the ocean.
What am I thinking? Of course I will.
I steady myself on the iridescent blue wall.
I close my eyes and plunge.
Nothing.
But everything.
The perfect place to think.
I've never wished for gills,
Even when I was little, pretending to
Be a mermaid.
Now I do.
I want to lay here forever.
I don't open my eyes.
Bubbles escape my mouth and nose,
Tired of being harbored for so long.
I curse their betrayal.
There departure sinks me further.
But gravity seems to have reversed.
Before long, I begin to rise.
I am close to weightless.
I try desperately to cling
To the thoughts; the feelings
That made me want to remain
Down there for eternity.
But they are shed like the droplets
That roll down my cheeks as I surface.
Deep breath.
I blink in the sunlight.
It was too short; ephemeral.
So I go again and again;
Longer each time,
My lungs can only hold so much.
I can't muster the courage
To travel to the brink of drowning.
Partially because I'm alone.
But mostly because
I'm afraid I'll like it.
And that's too much to think about
On this bright, sunny, ordinary day.
Because the most disturbing, interesting, and
Truthful thoughts
Must be mulled over
Underwater.