I’m trying to laugh at this one
trying not to let my real emotions be shown
my train of thought’s been derailed
and I feel like I’ve walked into hell
I feel the old me
the weak me
trying to find a place in the new me
am I a coward
because i’d rather pack up and leave
but no matter where I go next
satan will never just let me be
I can’t even focus on toaday
to busy worried about the surprise of tomorrow
another migraine
and I swear I feel like i’m going insane
if I said f*** the world
and just be me
let my dream, Special Agent James become my reality
what am I to say to the family and friends I left behind
I hate this gift to feel what others feel
this curse that i’d give up to be in a hearse
as I right this next part in my life
I’ll hold back these tears
I’ve done enough crying
Almost two decades drowned in sorrow, depression, and fears
but this life it’s getting old
I’ve shed these tears before
and to be with family i’ll be damned to do it again
some night’s cash in the bad luck
some mornings I pray the sun not rise
something about living this life is getting old
I wish to build a castle
and block the world out
because everyday and night this repeats in my head
were this world mine
my heart and mind wouldn’t be full
of regret, anger, pain, hurt, frustration
were this world mine
i’d never have come to Texas
I’d kept my friends who for years were my only family
i’d never have come to this
if I had known it was this
I love my family
and I’d never thought I say this
but all I care about is being,
Jimmy Lee a writer, author, actor, entrepreneur, producer, special agent
I swore to myself at the age 14
the next time life was to much to bare
I’d be Bullet Proof
so now until the first book is published and on shelves
Endymion’s Heirs is my primary concern
because this world may not be mine
but My Life is
and it’s not that I don’t care
it’s because I care to much about the well being of others
that I am Jimster The Great not because I am greater than you
but because I have the means to be great