I remember
Our first date
He asked me out by my locker
I was surprised because he could go out with anyone he wanted
Later I was standing in font of my closest
Something hit me
I don't own a dress
I had five minuets 'til he picks me up
I threw on worn jeans and a t-shirt
And he acted like I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen
We walked to a grassy field
He laid out a picnic blanket
It was one of many
I wondered what we were doing here
I wondered what everyone was doing here
That's when stars started to fall from the sky
It was like I was a fairy tale
I felt my face lighting up
As soon as the stars became the most beautiful
They stopped
Everything went back to normal
We got up to leave and as were talking
He leaned in and kissed me

I remember
That became my favorite spot
I would come there when something hurt me
He would always be there for me
Waiting

I remember how one night he took me to the beach
We watched the lights sparkle off the boats and the water
How he causally leaned in
He said he loved me
It wasn't a big speech
But how it was just enough
I don't know how long we stayed like that
Looking at the boats on the water
Talking and laughing
I could have stayed like that forever

I remember
That night
When I got the phone call
It was 2 a.m.
I don't know why I picked up
I wish I didn't
I would have given anything
For him to not be there
For the car to have been there

I remember
The doctor said he would be okay
That he should wake up within four weeks
I believed him
That's why I didn't believe them
Eight weeks later
When they said he wasn't going to make it

I remember
Sitting in a chair beside his bed for days on end
Thinking
I never told him I loved him back
Now I would never get to
Everything we were going to do
Was thrown away because of a drunk driver

I remember
Thinking that the worst thing
Is watching someone who you thought was invincible
Shatter

I remember
How after
I would go to our spot
Waiting
And try to talk to him
It never worked
He was gone and a grassy field
Wasn't going to bring him back

I remember
Years later
Never really moving on
Barely pretending to
I didn't go out on dates with my friends anymore
I didn't do anything

I now know
That losing someone is agonizing
And letting go impossible