Like you, false-friend,
I used to search the skies.
Till they filled up with flies
and all the birds grew tired
of meaningless migration.

Darkness has shrouded the sun.
No light shines into this room.
Tell my why.
I’m burning alive.
Plenty of time has passed,
without sign of rise or set.
Why’s it still night.

Thoughts glow,
and drop down blurry as snow.
Breeze blows them,
they dance on the grass,
and inside my room they coat the walls black.
I’m a son of a ghost searching for more
than darkness standing watch at my door.
Brown eyes stay wide through the night,
stare into shadows and try to make sense.
They find no reason that lasts.

Through misty blackness I hear you kindly suggest
that all answers lie in companionship and rest.
You want me to reach out.
But what's reaching gonna do for me,
when it’s become far too dark to see.
So, to you stranger I pretend I know,
when the clock says day but my soul sees no light,
please don't even speak to me.
I don't have anything to say.
Meet me here in the night,
I’ll admit what you’re all thinking is true-
I’ve grown into a dog,
lank and damp and unsure of what I’m craving.
So, I spend this long night howling through the hall,
poking through my emancipated ribs,
where cradled deep,
is muscle grown sinewy and far from my sleeve.
You all still hope the old boy’ll return,
and I truly want to find a way to make it through alright.
but no one can see,
that night never leaves and its swallowing more than me.

Blank blackness devoid of even terrestrial beauty.
No mountains are seen,
all homes lost without light.
I could survive if I still had the moon to remind me of younger dreams
of me and a true friend foolishly hoping
we could outrun sleep till sun hit.
If she’s real does she remember the deep-dusk fireflies,
twinkling on our eyes and illuminating our minds.
It's hard for me sometimes.
If it was eternal dusk in which I got stuck,
no sinister words of drearily worlds would slip from my lips.
I could live in the light of yours’ and others eyes,
paint a picture of them and their humanly warped reflections.
I’d learn to include myself among beautiful strangers and the trees.

But I’ve slipped deep into the night,
even celestial orbs have left me behind.
Heavens wrapped in barbed wire,
no kingdoms gonna come.
You should feel bad, too.
Both restless sons fathered by a god
who must not know how it feels to grow blind and die.
And I believe even Pan’s dead now.
Someone’s made sure no more music escapes from the hills.
Prometheus finally broke too.
Shoulda never stole the flame,
he could have saved us both the pain.
We could be lying in the dirt, dreaming simple dreams that lack the sun.
But it doesn't matter,
to reflect on great architects of a broken machine.

Tick, goes the black box by my bed.
Those things must be starting to bother you too.
A crackinmyclock and time stops and means nothing.
Now I can sadly see
My forbearers two hundred years are nothing,
but in the space of one-point-two miles,
it's made me everything by which I'm defined.
Look at me, the Great Colossal Nothing.
nothing on the scale of nothing,
and time will take away the meaning from both of our lives.

How can I transcend when all I write slips off into the night
and only reminds me I could float off just as easily into eternity.
Stars explode in fire that subsides as we pass by.
Its dust doesn’t even survive.
Oh, love and hate, and heaven and hell!
I could make peace with you all if even one of you never fell.
I just want something to not go away.
But, nothing lasts forever
and I'm beginning to be glad neither will me.

Night only lasts.
To Swallow up all that threatens to grow.
Sword and pen swallowed up equally by time,
songs and poems drift off into their square ends.
I wish they'd never end.
Cause all the singers and poets I love are found drugged up and dead,
a bullet is the only thing that sticks long inside their head.
Hemmingway spoke so strong and sure, of the salvation in nothing I could find.
But alone in his kitchen he passively surrendered.
And Drake’s eyes were open and glassy,
staring past the sun when morning finally arrived.
Leaves me to fear if eventually all those affirming words fail and turn out to be lonely men’s lies.

If I end up right I'd rather be wrong,
and if you find some reason keep it, by god!
Can you fault me for my hopelessness, stranger-friend?
I was once a kid with want for a world that ran deep;
questions and hope lead to these sad ends.
Now I’ve dug a grave shallow in untended soil,
and above I feel the black waves of Nothing’s Night!
Fighting with you and me in eternal toil,
smacking at my toes,
She threatens to pull me under and stifle out my last hopeful thought!

All semblance of reality lost!

thoughtsrip at my heart and bloodclots near the heart
darkness blinds eyes there's no end to this night!
it doesnt sleep or breathe
feeds on bad dreams and pain that evaporate in the sun.
whenever I think I see that which will shine and set me free,
it turns out to be the red of another fiery star!
explodinginward and falling withoutasound.
explodinginwardandfallingwithoutasound
crushingme

Shhh.
Do you feel the rumbling?
Out there somewhere
in night’s wicked center,
the winds’ startin up, blackness fills with rain.
It sings to me a wild, wordless song you would not like to hear.
Let us add verses; find beauty in terror-
Water blown by wind/ splashing off the shore/ and above the trees are crashing/
calling up a storm.
See visions of bluefire burning through the skies.
oh god, when empties the alternative,
self-destruction sounds so fine.

Quick!
Let’s shove our thoughts inside,
before rain bleeds our brain.
Now I’m outside on the street,
dust turnin to mud at my feet.
run through fields of twisting leaves,
down old Nox Road,
body cloaked in the shadows
of Cypress trees.
meet an uncaring wall at the precipice of town.
it speaks to me-
nooneisfree.
so why should you be.

who am I talking to again
its just me again
its only me again
nowheretohidefrommymind

Silentflashes slice cold on night’s blackened skin.
Form scars that stay for a second
till more bleating light wipes it clean again.
I wipe my arm clean again.
cant hid it enough.

shouldn’t look so hard,
they say the rain’ll come and wash everything away,
down to the meander in the oceans and be plucked up by the sun till i fall back down again.

wind has subsided.
pains harder to feel.
mornings no closer.

Oh,
glad youre still here, false friend.
don't you hate that the seas suddenly calm
and the west still lacks light.
hear all them ghosts?
what’s gonna come to evaporate every one.
will you admit yet that the answer is always nothing.
if this angers you I'm sorry,
but nights contagious,
I'm sick and i wanna drag you down.
I look out my window and the sky’s still black.
so I close my eyes but they’re so empty and nothing seems right.

When I was a kid I felt chained to the earth
and I thought the mountains were slowly swallowing me.
Was I right.
Does the sun love to hide,
Does the river seek to drown.
Or do I simply want to die.
Either way the answers a shame.
Damn indifference, its queen is the night.
She pays no mind
to those who crawl from Her depths,
and forgets them as soon as they slip back in again.

If I ever whisper to you again-
leave me here,
the wind’ll shape my body and mind,
air’ll flow easy through smoothly worn spine-
please know it’s a lie,
cause I hate that my heart is cool and darker than coal.
I'd like to burn it bright and erase all the blackness from my sight.
beautiful and warm for a moment,
then gone.
at least it means something when it’s there.

This is when weary eyes should shut,
and open to find morning’s earthly glory.
But mine don’t yet.
I’ll tell you now,
since who stayed for a while,
what haunts my night when feelings are all depleted-

Black is black-
not deep or whole.
And white is white-
it doesn’t exist.
But the sun once made colors,
so vibrant and clear.
I wish I weren't here.