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Before the Important Game
April 27, 2013
Sitting on the bench before the important match
A rapidly racing, rambling heart
A stomach filled with sickening strange butterflies
Shaking, sweaty hands
A mind analyzing the most awful alternatives
The thought of failing
The eyes of the whole audience
Focused our your team
And on you
The sickening sense grows and swells
As the time to my entrance onto the court
Is tampered with every tick- tock of the clock
My nervousness is like a monster
Devouring me from inside
My nervousness is like a ticking bomb
Ready to make my courage detonate
Into a hundred maybe a thousand petite pieces
Harbouring my head in my hands
I inhale deeply and exhale noisily
I close my eyes and take a second
To prepare myself for going out there
The buzzer bombinates blatantly
Reminding me that my quarter is about to begin
It mocks my abstract anxiety of the absolute defeat
With my legs trembling I step out to the center
One more bottomless breath
No more time to waste
I face my adversary
I focus on the ball
The game begins
© Laura P., Highland Village, TX
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This article has 44 comments.
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 6 2013 at 9:53 am
Thank you so much :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 4:08 pm
Thank you :). I'll read and rate it right now
raidersrock08 GOLD said...
on May. 5 2013 at 3:56 pm
i like how you describe more of your feelings than the actual game. I could picture myself being in that position and th emotions that would come across me. Great job! Rate and get people to look at my poem called Baila to the Ocean Floor! Greatly appreciate it
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 3:53 pm
Thank you .I'm glad that you liked it :)
Sam_Dawn_Richi SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 3:41 pm
Very nice! Great discription of feelings. :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 3:05 pm
Thank you for all of the positive feedback :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 2:47 pm
Thank you so much :) :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 2:28 pm
Thank you so much :). This positive feedback really means a lot to me. Thank you once again
Alex_Writer GOLD said...
on May. 5 2013 at 1:23 pm
First, wow! When I was reading it, I felt like I was the actual person before the match. Also, your vocabulary is amazing, very high level but perfect for each place where you put them. I have a reccomendation, when you say... "I inhale deeply and exhale noisily I close my eyes and take a second" Change 'noisily' to a different word (it may be just me but it sounds rough). Also, you could change 'I close my' to 'closing my' so it doesnt repeat 'I' in both stanzas. If you think it's better the other way then keep it. Over all though, it was absolutly AMAZING! Everything seemed to flow and made perfect sense. Great imagery and descriptive word choice. Your metaphors where great also. But most of all, KEEP WRITING! I would love to read more of this :)
Stella_Val_Illicia GOLD said...
on May. 5 2013 at 9:17 am
This is really great! I love reading poems that take aspects of an almost ordinary situation and then make them seem so much more important! You really captured the feeling of what it's like to wait for your turn in a game with people actually watching. I really love this.
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 3:39 am
Thank youuu :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 5 2013 at 3:13 am
Thank you so much :) :)
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD said...
on May. 4 2013 at 8:07 pm
WOW! This describes practically every single time I'm nervous (albiet the sports part :D). My only suggestion is the inclusion of punctuation marks to make it flow a bit more smoothly (if the reader wants to read your poem aloud, it would be difficult without them). Otherwise, great work!
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 4 2013 at 12:21 pm
I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem. Thank you so much for all of the compliments :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 4 2013 at 12:20 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You really made my day with your comment :)
ChocolateLove SILVER said...
on May. 4 2013 at 12:19 pm
:) :) thank you so much, it really means a lot to me
AnotherSouthernGirl BRONZE said...
on May. 4 2013 at 11:24 am
Wow! This is a good poem. I could feel the suspense, the anxiety, the excitement. When I read this, I felt as if I was the speaker- that's a sign of a skilled writer. I love sports especially basketball. I have these exact thoughts go through my head before a game. Good job. You really captured the atmosphere before an important game.
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