I do recall most vividly
The day I went to the grocery store
Only to learn, most depressingly,
That the credibility of the vegetables was no more.
I’d witnessed with my eyes so hauntingly
The produce spilled out in gore
The carrots, the corn, the celery
All possessed remnants spilled on the floor.

“The turnips have betrayed us!” a worker screamed
As he ran from isle to isle.
The infected corn glared with eyes unseen
Upon his brothers stacked in trash piles.
The TV had announced every vegetable deemed
As an infected product of the wild
And thus the poor carrots were quarantined
And potatoes alike exiled


Though I confess, I felt distressed
About that produce rebellion;
I don’t think we were being put to the test
On determining the scruples of an onion.
What right did the E. coli have to infest
The edibles of our agrarian?
But most curiously I can’t digest
What does this mean for vegetarians?