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Till the day I die

September 2, 2011
By CrystalMarie GOLD, Steubenville, Ohio
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CrystalMarie GOLD, Steubenville, Ohio
16 articles 0 photos 40 comments
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Till the day I die
on this stary night.
Far away from the world,
When you feel sad,
Look up at the sky, And remember I'll alaways be there for you
NO MATTER WHAT!!!

© Hannah D., Tahmoor, Australia

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This article has 2 comments.

TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER said...
on Oct. 14 2011 at 1:03 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
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&quot;Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.&quot; <br /> <br /> Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,<br /> &quot;What! You too? I thought I was the only one.&quot;<br /> - C. S. Lewis

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I agree with Emiri. I was confused at the beginning when it said "Til the day I die on this starry night." It makes it sound like you will be dying now. The poem is also really short and undescriptive. Other than that, it's ok.
BluBliss GOLD said...
on Oct. 14 2011 at 12:24 pm
BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
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I like the meanine. Just.... the first part was a little....Till the day I die on this stary night. It kind of makes it sound like you're dying that night. Or, whoever it is. And I don't think the emphasise on the last line in necessary. Other than that, nice!