Thank you for pointing out the half rhyme with gold and world. I hadn't noticed it.

I chose the word mundane because I wanted to show the variety of the creatures and how all of them were fascinated by the light, wether they were strange and otherworldly or just down right normal.

I would also like to say that in my opinion one could make quite a difference by changing it. That's one of the things I like about poetry. It's so delicate. One needs to consider the rythm of the words that is shown by the separate lines (otherwise one might as well right a paragraph), the meanings and history of the words, and the tone in which the poem will eventually be spoken.

I'd also like to say that I like punctuation as well, but in poetry I often find periods, commas, and semicolons are of little use. They all imply a pause, and if I want to imply a pause I just break a phrase into multiple lines. Exclamation and question marks are great, but I saw no need of them in this poem.

I prefer to write poems with puntuation. There's not a whole lot of difference that can be made by changing it, because these are just "words floating in the ether," shapless, like water, so. . . .

Well, here are my problems: Gold and world are half-rhymes that really stick out. I wouldn't say that's necessarily a good thing. "Mundane" is a good word, but I'm not sure why you used it in this passage, other than because you liked the way it sounded. Other than that, I can't really give specifics to fix. This form of poetry is like water (which is why I think it's good that you did it), but because of that, it's good or it isn't, and however level it's at, you can't really fix anything wrong to make it better. Aside from obvious mistakes.

This poem has really wonderful imagry- I especially like "Light falls in cascading sheets of gold"  I can really see what you're talking about as I read.  I also liked how you said "Teeming with creatures fantastic and mundane" because it leaves me wondering at what sort of creatures live in the lake. 

Keep it up!