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The 12th of december

July 7, 2010
By Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
More by this author
Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
16 articles 9 photos 302 comments

Favorite Quote:
A word to the wise ain't nessecary it's the stupid ones that need the advise

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Can you remember the 12th of December?

You remember, right?
the long strides by the moon
soft winds that carry dreams away
one fateful afternoon

You remember, right?
the softness of your hair
laughter ringing through the trees
dancing without a care

Why did you have to leave me?
Why did you have to go?
days go by painfully and long
or do you even know?

You remember, right?
sad poems in the sand
stepping in the friendly waves
tightly squeezing my hand

Your remember, right?
you'd said I'd be alright
when you breathed your last strained breath
that lonely summer's night

Can you remember the 12th of december?

© Susan R., Iselin, NJ

The author's comments:
I have no idea why i wrote this! Its not very good!:)
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 7 comments.

AgnotTheOdd GOLD said...
on Sep. 10 2010 at 9:20 pm
AgnotTheOdd GOLD, Aptos, California
17 articles 0 photos 315 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The reason for your unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason that I have reason to complain of your reason" ~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

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This was one of the better poems i have read on this site
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD said...
on Sep. 5 2010 at 3:55 pm
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

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Sorry it took me a while to respond to your comment, Teen Ink didn't email me when you did :(

Anyway, I'm not that experienced with poetry, but I'll give you what i've gathered.  The emotion is this was really good.  Stong, true, and prominent.  Detail was also very good, this made a great picture in the reader's head.  The rhyme pattern was really easy flowing, like words fit together like puzzle pieces :)  Good job!

Inherinerd GOLD said...
on Sep. 3 2010 at 4:58 am
Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
16 articles 9 photos 302 comments

Favorite Quote:
A word to the wise ain't nessecary it's the stupid ones that need the advise

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Thank you so much and of course i'll look at your stuff, thats why the site is here right?
Inherinerd GOLD said...
on Sep. 3 2010 at 4:58 am
Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
16 articles 9 photos 302 comments

Favorite Quote:
A word to the wise ain't nessecary it's the stupid ones that need the advise

View profile
I'm sorry i haven't read your stuff yet, I'll look at it as soon as i can
Thesilentraven PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 2 2010 at 7:48 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;il piu nell&#039; uno,&quot; (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)<br /> <br /> &quot;Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality&quot; ~Emily Dickinson<br /> <br /> &quot;The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain&quot; <br /> ~Kahlil Gibran

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This is a great poem. It spoke wisely of love and loss. How dare you criticize it, despite the fact that you wrote it! :) I love the repeated lines and rhythm. Could you look at some of my work? Especially my latest memoir. Once again, well done!
Inherinerd GOLD said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 4:12 pm
Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
16 articles 9 photos 302 comments

Favorite Quote:
A word to the wise ain&#039;t nessecary it&#039;s the stupid ones that need the advise

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course ill check out your work!
thewriteidea DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 23 2010 at 2:35 pm
thewriteidea DIAMOND, Pleasanton, California
67 articles 0 photos 336 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t cry that it&#039;s over, smile because it has happened.&quot;

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I love the format of this piece! and i TOTALLY disagree with your comments about it. it is VERY good. it had me grabbed in by the first line!

check out some of my work, too if you'd like. great job on this! keep writing!!(: