Forget it
You must be kidding
I have contracted chronic dysentery
As well as a deficiency in Iodine which caused the formation of a football-sized goiter.
I also have run away from my orphanage
to join a ragtag band of pickpockets
living in the crawlspace above some London flats.
All because I asked for more peas-porridge-hot!
Can you imagine that? What cruel lives we children live.
Also, I am illiterate and therefore indisposed to the writing of poetry.
Time's up? Uh oh!
All I have is a dumb list of excuses.
You like it? Really? No kidding.
Thanks a lot. Would you like to see another one?