I don’t feel much
yet I feel when I write

I speak of those things that pinch my heart
but could not exactly be true for me
And when the words are down
It’s the bittersweet satisfaction they carry
to know they are alive and recognized

My words can be like cream in your mouth
yet never brighten your Sun
only darken your cloud
I only speak of these things
not for scandal of a newbie
though I pleasure in the discourse
but to let the saddest reality I know and kept within
Out

So I speak of what you can’t understand and never can
It makes sense only to me
Because I know what I’ve been through
And haven’t come out completely clean

When you lose whom you love
for an almost permanent separation
and in such brevity
you don’t walk with the same stride
Your eyes have a different vision

So, I don’t think I needed you
Your life or your love can’t replace his
If I protected more or protected less
I was a bear and a hen
But it all would’ve happened in the end

I’m not talking of romance
Your soul mate doesn’t have to be just your husband
It is the one you can’t live without
And of those I can’t live without,
He was the one I never could go without

Yes, I am alive
but living doesn’t have to be counted by breathing
Living is enjoying
and I can’t enjoy it all
when parts of happiness are gone